Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Destiny, or no?

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star1:
There are alot of posts on here about free will/manifesting and LOA, and I guess I'm curious to know if anyone simply believes that some things just really are/aren't destined to be?

A few people have spoken about "the voice that they had", or a strong gut feeling.. People who have spoken to me personally know that I've always had a bad gut feeling on my situation and I chose to ignore it all of this time, I thought "well, why are all the readers saying he cares and is coming back?". And I chose to be in denial, lots of it is denial. I didn't want to accept that we wouldn't be together again.

I don't like saying "the voice", because it makes you sound mentally insane, but I had "the voice thought" about my POI. It basically told me that I would not physically see him again, and so far - it has been right. We did have contact since on and off, and he made every excuse to put off seeing me. Try as I might, we haven't seen each other in person since. I know that no matter what I do, it is destined that we won't see each other again, no free will, no manifesting will bring him back. I know it is stalemate. That is why I'm now suddenly realising and having to move on, I'm getting from the denial to acceptance stage. The, "I couldn't give one anymore", stage. Whereas before, I was in the "No! It can't be!", stage.

There's people who call psychics in this world that are in unhealthy relationships, perhaps that's a sign that the 2 people are destined not to be together? Abusers hardly ever change and because the abuser knows he has his victim wrapped around his finger, he/she uses their victim in a sadistic manner.. They aren't going to change. (I'm not speaking about people in particular, I really not. It's a fact that a percentage of women/men on this board are in abusive relationships without always realising it). I had a relationship with someone that certainly wasn't perfect and had very very unhealthy traits to it, that's why I am stating this.. Not to throw shade on anyone else.

People who cheat on their partners? Was it meant to happen in some sad kinda way, in order for the victim of cheating to move on because that guy wasn't meant to be for her?

I'm wondering if anyone on here has any stories where you look back at old relationships/friendships/jobs/house moves and you just realised it was not destined to be? Probably older members of the forum will have a few stories to tell. I'm curious to hear them, if there any any at all.

I've also seen many stories online about premonition dreams where people have dreamt of others deaths and other tragic events that happened. Look at Yona who has (in rare cases) predicted deaths or a very tragic Tower which did happen. I believe death is destined for each of us for sure.

What about people who have had readings with many top readers and their gut went against what the readers told them and was right?

Perhaps even, you've had experiences that you and your POI ARE destined to be. I'm curious to hear, thanks!

I apologise in advance if a thread similar has been made.

Just FYI:
What a huge realization to come to, Star! That you recognize your gut feeling, or inner "voice" and trust it so you can let go of this past relationship. I think listening to your own intuition is a difficult thing to do, so kudos to you!

To your question about what's "meant to be" - I see where you are coming from that perhaps there's a destiny involved in failed situations. I'm not so sure it's that black and white though. There are several past relationships that I look at and am relieved that I'm no longer involved. But there are past relationships that I look at (whether romantic, platonic, or professional) and now see my shortcomings that weren't evident at the time. That it COULD HAVE worked out if I'd had the presence of mind to be the bigger person, or manage my behavior in a more sensitive way... that I was part of the problem.

I do think it is healthy, though, to put some kind of closure on things past, whether it's telling yourself "it wasn't meant to be" or "there will always be another chance at love/job/whatever and I'll do my best next time".

sawthelight:
I thought my situation with the first POI was so meant to be.  I really did, I never really felt anything like I did with him before..with anyone else..which is what made me seek out psychic readings.  I never had the strong desire for someone like i had with him.

Now looking back, I think things played out the way they did for a reason and I guess you can say it was a good learning experience for me.  It taught me what to accept and what not to when it comes to how people treat me.

I do think some things are meant to be, but I just don't think it's always going to play out the way we think or want.  Which in the long run, is probably best for us.

ladya:
i believe in destiny and i believe in free will. However, i feel the free will is confined with your destiny's path if that makes sense. I believe that if someone is meant to get married or have kids or anything else that is set in stone. Major life events, in my opinion, are destined. When it comes to people, it gets tricky because people have free will to learn the lesson today, tomorrow or never. What if their destiny is different and not in line with our own. If one person is meant to have kids and the other isnt then destiny will pull apart those two people. This is why its hard to predict people's behaviors. There's a lot of different factors that come into play in all of this stuff. In hindsight, there is a silver lining in everything and majority of the relationships I felt were no longer destined to be was because i chose that route and moved on from the individual. I could've chosen to get back with any of my exes because they have always come back but i found someone much more compatible at the time so I guess I'm lucky in a sense in that aspect. But when deep inside i felt something wasn't over, it usually wasn't but what would happen after that would be murky and dependent on people's free will. i feel that people come into our lives by destiny. you could be locked away in your home but if someone is meant to come into  your life, they will. i kinda don't believe when people say oh well you have to get out there to meet people. yes and no. sure itll increase chances but doesn't guarantee anything. i also believe we attract a similar type of partner or the ways in which we meet them, not the dating ones but serious relationships. but that ties into astrology which not everyone believes in but from what i've witnessed and researched, it is correct and can't really be changed imo of course. i'm really curious if people here have had several serious relationships were they met all their partners in vastly different ways. from what i've seen its usually a similar mode (internet, friends, work, school). i'd like to hear feedback.

star1:
Thanks FYI, Saw The Light and LadyA.

Yes I think some people are destined not to be together again like my ex and I. LadyA funny you should say that, I've recently been talking to a guy who doesn't want kids and I really do someday. He seems to be the type to agree with anything I say and that gives me red flags. I'm risking starting anything with him for him to change his mind and back out telling me he really doesn't want kids last minute. We were completely different people and it didn't work out for me, so I had to say I just wasn't interested.

People claim that even our choices are destined in life, maybe there are. I just think that there's too many coincidences for free will and LadyA I also believe that major things in our lives are destined.

Saw The Light yeah life certainly seems to have twists and turns that we don't realise or that take us by surprise. Maybe they're meant to happen, though. Or maybe it is free will, I'm unsure. I think some things have to be destined, but it's a shame we have no sure proof either way. I think free will is easier to say because it's easy to think we are in control of our actions and we can change them all of the time

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