Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
ready to give it up for good
star1:
--- Quote from: maroonlight on December 05, 2018, 10:20:52 PM ---
--- Quote from: star1 on December 05, 2018, 06:31:49 PM ---
--- Quote from: maroonlight on December 05, 2018, 06:12:49 PM ---I closed my accounts on the hotlines months ago and while it hasn’t cured the pain I feel for my POI, I feel much calmer and less confused because the varying predictions aren’t constantly clouding my judgement. Part of me still wishes he would reach out to me someday, but at the same time I’m doing my absolute best to move forward with my life. I graduated college in October, I’m applying for new jobs, using dating sites to meet new guys, and am just trying to keep busy and surround myself with positive people and positive situations. I haven’t had a reading at all in a few months now and I haven’t been posting on these forums either because while I find them helpful in a sense, they are also triggering because people start posting great things about new readers and then I try them and am left completely disappointed because they are inaccurate for me.
It’s not a fast or easy process but I’m just telling you that this is what I’m doing because I’m serious about moving on with my life without calling psychics. The pain and sadness is still there in the back of my head but I know that if we don’t get back together, one day I will meet someone else who will make me forget about him as that is what happened with my last 2 POI’s and the same will happen for you. You just have to put in effort to truly move forward and not keep calling because when readers string you along it makes it slower and harder to let go because of the false hope you are getting from them. Most readers tell everyone what they want to hear and they don’t give it a second thought of the effect it has on your life because all they care about is their paycheck.
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I know how you feel because I've been calling psychics for a long time trying to get the closure and answers that I didn't get with the POI.. It was a slight high receiving the reading and having the call, then the minute the reading/call ends, you get a "is that it?" feeling, which is never good enough. The only person you can really get closure from is your POI. Closest to that - your gut feeling, but even that won't give you all of the answers. It's really hard when you don't get closure, most of these readers guess and even they can't be certain. It's the usual generic answers that they give that make you feel that a reading isn't genuine as it's probably recycled to many others.. Unfortunately 99.9%, you don't get closure from an ex, not even the real truth. Because if they do return and they mope how sorry they are for how they treated you, it isn't usually genuine.
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If they don't return, all you can really do is accept that they were not the right person for you, and that you haven't met the right person yet. Chances are most or all of us have had our hearts broken before the person we are calling about, and we moved on from that to the person we are calling about. It can and will happen again. You will move on to someone else and this person's worth to you will fade away. But in order to move forward, you have to put yourself out there and make the effort to find someone who can give you the love that your ex won't.
I've found dating to be very frustrating because most of the people I meet I either don't click with at all, or the spark just dies really quickly, or I am interested and out of nowhere they ghost me, and I want to find someone that I can like and adore as much as my POI, but it just takes time. I met 2 guys previously that I did have the spark with who I also called psychics about, and they both broke my heart but later on I realized that it wasn't meant to be and I am thankful that things didn't last. We have to deal with our pain and face our reality that the POI's actions are far more reliable than what the readers say.
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I agree. If someone's meant to be for you, they will. Things happen on purpose and people come in and out of our lives for a reason. I'm open to moving on and meeting someone else, now. It's just until I meet someone new special, I will have my POI on my mind occasionally. Dating online is hard, you get all sorts of weirdos and most only want one thing, or are too needy too quickly. I hope you get to meet someone soon. :)
lneilo:
--- Quote from: Hillcam on December 05, 2018, 10:38:33 PM ---
--- Quote from: lneilo on December 04, 2018, 05:51:12 PM ---
--- Quote from: Hillcam on November 29, 2018, 05:18:26 AM ---Soo I’ve been an addict for years now... I think I first started calling Keen when I was 19 or so. I’ll be 26 in about a week.
For the first time I think I’m ready to close my account. I’m second in line with Cookie and I think after I speak to her I’ll contact customer service to pull the plug. The false hope and predictions that don’t come to pass have broken my heart more than any former POI ever could.
I’m nervous to actually go through with it, but I think it’s time and it’s worth a shot. I’m hopeful that closing my account will lead to a happy and healthy life.
This may be me venting because I’ve had too much wine and a shitty day (lol) but I truly feel like it’s a result of false hope. I’ve tried to keep a positive outlook and I’ve tried not putting all of my happiness in these readings but at the end of the day, hearing a prediction and having the opposite occur really takes a toll on one’s life.
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I think its a good idea. It is easy to get addicted to readings and the sad part is most readers are generic or have ties to the website that give them information on you if you have read on there before. It is said they pray on us when we are vulnerable and a lot of times we get generic readings and because we are so vulnerable and want to believe them we believe they are accurate readers and wait for things to happen that never will. It took me ages to find an actual good reader who's predictions came to pass and knew my situation but I focused on fixing parts of my life so I was not addicted to readings and recommend especially if you see yourself being addicted to take time away. I think especially when you are going through a break-up you find yourself consistently doing the readings. A lot of the time its unnecessary. I really wish you the best :)
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I’m feeling a lot better without an account to check constantly. I can’t place blame entirely on readers, I chose to call as often as I did for years. There have been a few who have been consistent and accurate for me over the past 5 years but I need to start living my life day by day and not holding on to predictions and allowing my thoughts to revolve around ‘if I do this, will it change the outcome of so and so’s prediction?’ That alone is unhealthy. Thank you for your input, I hope all is well with you :)
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That is true! I feel like a good reader would say you come in too much and you don't need to but then again thats a lot to expect since it is their business. I just hate that this is an addictive thing like gambling but the casino will never tell you hey thats too much leave lol so I guess the same with psychics. Its always nice when you finally realize its unhealthy. I did that for years consistently having readings on the daily - whats new now? Is it still happening? What do I do? Did I change things? I was driving myself insane. But now I rarely get readings maybe monthly or when I feel suspicious about something. Finally taking time to focus on myself and properly getting over the guy I continuously read about when I was going almost everyday was what made me sane again. Thank you I wish all is well with you too! :)
Hillcam:
I’m currently trying to fight the urge to call open my account back up. 😑
My ex POI from last year just wrote me on Instagram to wish me a happy birthday, my gut feeling says he only reached out because I told him not to contact me anymore and he’s testing the waters, but the addict in me wants some sort of validation.
I know it won’t be worth it in the long run, so I won’t. Instead I’ll ignore his message. I think responding will just contradict my actions from the past few weeks. 🙄😬
Fidget1028:
--- Quote from: Hillcam on December 07, 2018, 04:57:56 AM ---I’m currently trying to fight the urge to call open my account back up. 😑
My ex POI from last year just wrote me on Instagram to wish me a happy birthday, my gut feeling says he only reached out because I told him not to contact me anymore and he’s testing the waters, but the addict in me wants some sort of validation.
I know it won’t be worth it in the long run, so I won’t. Instead I’ll ignore his message. I think responding will just contradict my actions from the past few weeks. 🙄😬
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Good idea and Happy Birthday Hillcam!
Hillcam:
--- Quote from: Fidget1028 on December 08, 2018, 02:57:02 AM ---
--- Quote from: Hillcam on December 07, 2018, 04:57:56 AM ---I’m currently trying to fight the urge to call open my account back up. 😑
My ex POI from last year just wrote me on Instagram to wish me a happy birthday, my gut feeling says he only reached out because I told him not to contact me anymore and he’s testing the waters, but the addict in me wants some sort of validation.
I know it won’t be worth it in the long run, so I won’t. Instead I’ll ignore his message. I think responding will just contradict my actions from the past few weeks. 🙄😬
--- End quote ---
Good idea and Happy Birthday Hillcam!
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Thank you Fidget!!
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