Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
No man worth your time is worth all of this heartache
psychic girls:
--- Quote from: icloud9 on January 25, 2019, 06:57:36 PM ---
--- Quote from: psychic girls on January 19, 2019, 01:11:44 PM ---Agree with everything you said. Poi ghosting you, let it go you can find someone better. Instead we wasted so much money on psychics to see what will happen and how they felt about us which we can never validate that it true or not. Reading with psychics it truly a way to be in denial and to get you high and thinking how great it going to be, like the psychics said.
--- End quote ---
I agree lol Readings can be detrimental to our "moving on" process. But....Was there any psychic that was ever right for you, @Psychic Girls ?? ever???
--- End quote ---
Nope I don’t think psychics ability eixists.
Miss Philosopher:
I agree with a lot said here. I did want to add though that in some cases, the poi or ex will not ghost, but remain in somewhat consistent contact, maybe not daily, but weekly or something like that, after they've done you dirty and supposedly moved on to "start their new life". One has to ask themselves why that is. What's the motive. It can be because they really do want to remain friends and feel the two of you do better that way. However, more often than not, there is a self serving motive there and they will keep contact simply to keep you on a back burner as a fall back option without you really even realizing it.
This is just to say that, just because someone keeps in contact with you doesn't mean they really care and want to be a part of your life. I see a lot of people on here that say "If they really want to be with you then they wouldn't go without contact for long periods of time". Them remaining in constant contact can actually make it harder and be more of an emotional roller coaster and not be for the reason's one would hope for. In my opinion, contact doesn't even matter. It's what is their behavior toward you, what are they SHOWING you. Are they putting in any kind of efforts that are satisfactory for YOU.
And yeah, if you find yourself dealing with someone that makes you feel anxious and/or emotionally upset or traumatized.........most of want to figure out the reason why and that's why we call these psychics, when really we should probably be running for the hills and maybe someday we'll figure out the reason why and maybe we won't but at least we'll have our sanity and dignity in tact. lol
That's just my 2.5 cents.
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on January 28, 2019, 03:54:51 PM ---I agree with a lot said here. I did want to add though that in some cases, the poi or ex will not ghost, but remain in somewhat consistent contact, maybe not daily, but weekly or something like that, after they've done you dirty and supposedly moved on to "start their new life". One has to ask themselves why that is. What's the motive. It can be because they really do want to remain friends and feel the two of you do better that way. However, more often than not, there is a self serving motive there and they will keep contact simply to keep you on a back burner as a fall back option without you really even realizing it.
This is just to say that, just because someone keeps in contact with you doesn't mean they really care and want to be a part of your life. I see a lot of people on here that say "If they really want to be with you then they wouldn't go without contact for long periods of time". Them remaining in constant contact can actually make it harder and be more of an emotional roller coaster and not be for the reason's one would hope for. In my opinion, contact doesn't even matter. It's what is their behavior toward you, what are they SHOWING you. Are they putting in any kind of efforts that are satisfactory for YOU.
And yeah, if you find yourself dealing with someone that makes you feel anxious and/or emotionally upset or traumatized.........most of want to figure out the reason why and that's why we call these psychics, when really we should probably be running for the hills and maybe someday we'll figure out the reason why and maybe we won't but at least we'll have our sanity and dignity in tact. lol
That's just my 2.5 cents.
--- End quote ---
Great post. I can so relate...
I agree keeping even in limited contact with some of these POIs can really mess with you more. that's why I cut off all contact with first guy, hearing from him sporadically was just making it harder to move on. It would get my hopes up.
Miss Philosopher:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 04:08:38 PM ---
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on January 28, 2019, 03:54:51 PM ---I agree with a lot said here. I did want to add though that in some cases, the poi or ex will not ghost, but remain in somewhat consistent contact, maybe not daily, but weekly or something like that, after they've done you dirty and supposedly moved on to "start their new life". One has to ask themselves why that is. What's the motive. It can be because they really do want to remain friends and feel the two of you do better that way. However, more often than not, there is a self serving motive there and they will keep contact simply to keep you on a back burner as a fall back option without you really even realizing it.
This is just to say that, just because someone keeps in contact with you doesn't mean they really care and want to be a part of your life. I see a lot of people on here that say "If they really want to be with you then they wouldn't go without contact for long periods of time". Them remaining in constant contact can actually make it harder and be more of an emotional roller coaster and not be for the reason's one would hope for. In my opinion, contact doesn't even matter. It's what is their behavior toward you, what are they SHOWING you. Are they putting in any kind of efforts that are satisfactory for YOU.
And yeah, if you find yourself dealing with someone that makes you feel anxious and/or emotionally upset or traumatized.........most of want to figure out the reason why and that's why we call these psychics, when really we should probably be running for the hills and maybe someday we'll figure out the reason why and maybe we won't but at least we'll have our sanity and dignity in tact. lol
That's just my 2.5 cents.
--- End quote ---
Great post. I can so relate...
I agree keeping even in limited contact with some of these POIs can really mess with you more. that's why I cut off all contact with first guy, hearing from him sporadically was just making it harder to move on. It would get my hopes up.
--- End quote ---
Totally agree. Each contact we receive is like, ok have they come to their senses? Is one of these contacts going to eventually be them wanting to reconcile? Why are they contacting me? It MUST be because they still care. That's what it was doing to me. But, now, even though I still receive daily contact and yeah I'm getting the hints and sweet words and the wanting to half ass reconcile on his terms.........I put no thought into the contact being received. I just look at it like it's whatever and don't even expect to keep receiving it. It gets tiring and a lot of times I WISH he would have ghosted me and just didn't contact for an extended period of time. That way, that creates enough space for true healing to occur and then who cares if contact is made and when it is made.........again you're not really bothered by it and aren't interested anymore.
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on January 28, 2019, 04:22:58 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 04:08:38 PM ---
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on January 28, 2019, 03:54:51 PM ---I agree with a lot said here. I did want to add though that in some cases, the poi or ex will not ghost, but remain in somewhat consistent contact, maybe not daily, but weekly or something like that, after they've done you dirty and supposedly moved on to "start their new life". One has to ask themselves why that is. What's the motive. It can be because they really do want to remain friends and feel the two of you do better that way. However, more often than not, there is a self serving motive there and they will keep contact simply to keep you on a back burner as a fall back option without you really even realizing it.
This is just to say that, just because someone keeps in contact with you doesn't mean they really care and want to be a part of your life. I see a lot of people on here that say "If they really want to be with you then they wouldn't go without contact for long periods of time". Them remaining in constant contact can actually make it harder and be more of an emotional roller coaster and not be for the reason's one would hope for. In my opinion, contact doesn't even matter. It's what is their behavior toward you, what are they SHOWING you. Are they putting in any kind of efforts that are satisfactory for YOU.
And yeah, if you find yourself dealing with someone that makes you feel anxious and/or emotionally upset or traumatized.........most of want to figure out the reason why and that's why we call these psychics, when really we should probably be running for the hills and maybe someday we'll figure out the reason why and maybe we won't but at least we'll have our sanity and dignity in tact. lol
That's just my 2.5 cents.
--- End quote ---
Great post. I can so relate...
I agree keeping even in limited contact with some of these POIs can really mess with you more. that's why I cut off all contact with first guy, hearing from him sporadically was just making it harder to move on. It would get my hopes up.
--- End quote ---
Totally agree. Each contact we receive is like, ok have they come to their senses? Is one of these contacts going to eventually be them wanting to reconcile? Why are they contacting me? It MUST be because they still care. That's what it was doing to me. But, now, even though I still receive daily contact and yeah I'm getting the hints and sweet words and the wanting to half ass reconcile on his terms.........I put no thought into the contact being received. I just look at it like it's whatever and don't even expect to keep receiving it. It gets tiring and a lot of times I WISH he would have ghosted me and just didn't contact for an extended period of time. That way, that creates enough space for true healing to occur and then who cares if contact is made and when it is made.........again you're not really bothered by it and aren't interested anymore.
--- End quote ---
So true. that's why when some POIs come back, they are no longer POIs, because we are no longer interested.
I personally have no time or sympathy for inconsistent men. You want to come back, show me something, that you're serious, or GTFO of my life. Literally, have no patience for it. Such a turn off.
Never let someone be in your life on their terms. It's setting the whole pattern of the relationship to be on their terms..and you deserve more.
I would personally just ask the guy, listen, this is what I want, this is what I'm looking for. See how they reply. It sounds like this guy has been in your life long enough for you to set some boundaries. If it scares him away, F him.
Sorry, if that sounds harsh but I see so many great women sell themselves short for these guys. So not worth it.
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