Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
I'm single which keen advisor should I use
maroonlight:
--- Quote from: copperhead on April 09, 2018, 03:09:20 PM ---Match.com is not free. It's free to have a profile but you can't communicate with anybody unless you subscribe. (unless you/they have found a way to sneak in your/their email address).
EHarmony: I tried it many years ago and definitely not for me. I want to make my own choice whom to contact. That they match me seems like patriarchal arranged marriage. :)
OK Cupid: free or paid membership. They recently changed the way you communicate with people, so no longer so easy to exchange messages (with the free option); however, it remains my favorite site, mostly because the questions that you can answer, in addition to what people write in their profile, give a quite good idea of who they are. I've met a lot interesting people through OKC. Many here openly say they're just looking for flings/sex, so you know. I've made friends here too. It has a lot of more variety than Match.
Plenty of Fish: free, tried it years ago, didn't like it.
--- Quote from: whit777 on April 09, 2018, 12:25:10 AM ---
--- Quote from: maroonlight on April 08, 2018, 02:54:30 PM ---
I'm trying Match now again instead. Not sure what to say about Eharmony at this point because first I thought it was amazing and now it's like bleh.
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I used match a few years ago and it was an utter nightmare. Since you don't have to pay, most of the men on there aren't interested in a relationship, in my personal experience. Anyone can make a profile, *say* they're looking for love so they get more women interested, then get a one night stand out of them or two, and move past it. If they're relatively attractive, it's easy for them. If they're not as attractive, I suppose they might try eharmony or one of the ones you pay for and do the same thing but it's probably a lot less common. They claim people get together on match but I've literally never known anyone who met on match and had a relationship longer than a month or two. I also found that a lot of the guys had baggage or weren't over their ex. It's again, easier to "try out" dating again if you don't have to pay for it. They typically wait until they know they want to date before paying money for it. So I found it worse than eharmony because there was still no one I really felt good about.. I just had to waste 6 months and 20 dates to figure it out first. Not to mention probably 20 calls to psychics as well lol. But since it's free, it won't hurt to try it out. Maybe that was just my experience. I might just have that kind of face that attracts that lol. I met someone a couple years ago just in regular life so thankfully, I don't have to deal with that stuff but good luck to everyone who is. Finding someone in regular life isn't always possible.
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I used OKC for a long time but haven't been on there in almost 2 years. The biggest problem that I found with it was the fact that it was free, so 90% of messages were spam from people in other states and countries. I met a few decent people on there though. Never tried POF but haven't heard many good things about it.
I agree with Eharmony being too limited. I've only been on for probably 3 weeks again now but almost everyday I haven't liked any of the matches I get for that day so yeah its a bit frustrating. I think it's kind of the opposite problem with match though, the fact there are too many options probably makes people more indecisive.
HornetKick:
The biggest problem with eharmony is that it won't let you go outside of your personality protocols. Whatever comes up as your matches, that's all you get. If nothing comes up, you have to broaden your categories. Like if you hate smokers, you might have to include them to get any hits. You can't even search and just start a relationship based on something appealing in another person's profile which might peg your interest, outside of your criteria. This is the reason why that show (Married at First Sight), doesn't have a lot of successful relationships. It's based primarily on the person's standards on paper and what they value. The Dr's on that show continue to push the person into staying in the relationship even when they find out later, they really just don't like them. There has got to be more to it other than a person checking off all your boxes accurately.
maroonlight:
Yeah compatibility is better to be determined in person than through a checklist. There have been times when I wasn't that crazy about a profile that I saw online but I really liked them in person and then vice versa. You really just don't know until you meet them.
njlady:
--- Quote from: HornetKick on April 09, 2018, 06:48:37 PM ---The biggest problem with eharmony is that it won't let you go outside of your personality protocols. Whatever comes up as your matches, that's all you get. If nothing comes up, you have to broaden your categories. Like if you hate smokers, you might have to include them to get any hits. You can't even search and just start a relationship based on something appealing in another person's profile which might peg your interest, outside of your criteria. This is the reason why that show (Married at First Sight), doesn't have a lot of successful relationships. It's based primarily on the person's standards on paper and what they value. The Dr's on that show continue to push the person into staying in the relationship even when they find out later, they really just don't like them. There has got to be more to it other than a person checking off all your boxes accurately.
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Then why do they have marriage after marriage? Something like 4% of all marriages in the states are from EHarmony couples. I had joined after repeatedly meeting or hearing about people who met on EHarmony and were now engaged or married. My friends son, people at parties, colleagues, etc. One year of serious EHarmony gets serious results.
I think that a lot of people who take the test aren't really honest about themselves or maybe they aren't actually ready for marriage. One of the test points actually is relationship skills. I also put a lot of thought into what I was going to say on my brief profile. You don't list everything about yourself. Their phone support was terrific. When I first started off, I wasn't getting the results I was looking for so I called and asked for their opinion and CS told me very nicely that I should switch out some of my profile photos. I work out a lot (I don't look like the Incredible Hulk or anything) but I did need to not be so physical. I changed my photos to softer ones and my responses increased immediately. I was open to constructive criticism.
Retake the test and take it like it really matters instead of just "checking the boxes" and call CS for some constructive criticism on your profile. They want their customers to get the most out of their service.
sawthelight:
I tried just for kicks (match.com) a while back, and the men they were sending me suggestions for were NOT my type at all, I mean nothing.
But I'm a little old fashioned, i like to meet people in person and connect that way. Not so easy to do though.
There's also a lot of married skeezeballs on those dating sites looking for flings and the like.
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