Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
Went on a Keen bender last night
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: sunshineluv7 on September 29, 2017, 08:37:16 PM ---I've done that several times. And at the end of the month when I do my finances I say holy shit, $1200 on readings? REALLY? But, the money is gone. And so I haven't dwelled on it. I've just been thankful that I've been able to scrape by even with a pretty successful career, but I should be so much better off financially than I am currently because of this "coping habit" I fell into.
And then I remember something one of the biggest personal finance people said, which is it's really hard to get your personal finances on track when you have a broken heart. I was like - hell. yah. Unfortunately, I seemed to want to stay in these hot and cold will he / wont he situations.
For me, I wanted so badly for it to have a "happy" ending, or continuance, that I didn't want to "end" it from my end. I didn't want to just close the door (on someone who disappeared, or didn't treat me well). I didn't want all the friends to be right when they said "you should just move on" and "he's a jerk". I wanted the psychics who said "he'll be back" to be right. And when I'd lose hope or faith I'd call again to get reassurance, have someone to talk to who wouldn't judge me. And I did have a therapist, too, it just wasn't the same.
And they were right, in the long run. He did come back.... but never in the way that I wanted. That I really needed, in a way that made my heart happy, never at the same level that it was at when it was "good". I wanted to be those stories where the person comes back, and they work it out, and get married. You know? The exception. That's what I hoped for.
Maybe, it's what all of us who come here, secretly hope for. That we can be the exception. That our story is different. That our guy, our connection with the guy (or girl!) was and is special, is really different, it's not what it looks like, it was real, we weren't fooled, we didn't get played, we didn't waste all of our time.
...but sometimes people just... well, suck. And sometimes the best they can do, isn't even close to what's good enough for you.
Here's the thing though. Life does go on. It does get better. But you have to shift your focus and actively seek out and find things that will make you happy - and make it NOT about a relationship. And make big changes if you have to.
I can likely bet you (general, not specifically to anyone here) that the reason you are seeking so much from someone else happiness wise is because you are missing something within yourself. That the reason you want to know so much about what happens tomorrow is because when you really think about it, you don't like your TODAY. So you want out of TODAY by hearing about tomorrow.
I'm now in a place where I've basically closed the door on dating completely. And I'm 100% okay with it. I'd just rather not be hurt, not put myself out there, not have another guy get my hopes up and then disappear. The last guy (not the original guy), I really do hope he comes back, but I'm also pursuing something down a completely different road, that I will be pretty happy about if he does come back or doesn't. Sad and disappointed if he never does? Sure. But hey, that's life. It doesn't always work out in our favor. *Especially* when you're relying or counting on someone else for something!
That's why it's so special when it finally does happen. <3 And love and support comes in all forms - not just romantically. Friends, family. For me personally, I finally learned that if it hurts to touch a hot burner - you stop touching the hot burner!!! LOL
<3
--- End quote ---
Great post!!
sunshineluv7:
My binges were never ... like more than $50 a pop. Sometimes I'd end up on a $100 call if it was a favorite reader. But to me and at my income level (which I've very fortunate to have), I really didn't think twice about spending $50 or $100 here or there. I just wasn't thinking rationally because I was so upset about how many times I was doing it... it only takes 10 calls at $100 to reach $1000. or 20 at $50. But for me on the bad month it would go like this:
I'd have one reader who i thought was great who would become like a mom figure (i didn't really have a healthy mom figure in my life), and end up spending like a half hour, hour on the phone with crying my eyes out. There's $150-$300. SHIT, I'd think. But that's one day, 30 min or an hour. As we know, deep heartache isn't over that fast. So then a few random chats/calls, at $30-$50 a pop. Then, maybe I have one or two other readers who I trust, not as much but more - and they are also on higher end, so $50-$100 once or twice over the month.
And I'd do like, mostly bitwine, maybe one or two keen calls, maybe a call to AV/Gaylene (who doesn't work for me, sadly), maybe an email with Kisha....
it just adds up, but it's never like, "Oh, I'm going to spend $500 today"
sawthelight:
So true. I'm lucky that I make a good living , as well...but I think back to all the money I spent on readings, and say to myself, was it worth it? It wasn't...
That money could have been spent on much better things, or saved...
peppie:
i've learned to be truthful about the reality of the situation. i'll go on a "bender" myself so I need to boobie trap my finances to protect myself from my self. Sad, but true. I pay all my bills the minute I get funds, cut up my credit cards with larger limits and spend all my money on bills and putting it into places I can't get to.
The sooner one faces the reality of what one can or cannot handle, the better. If one cannot admit one has a problem, one cannot find a solution.
sunshineluv7:
It's true. I still pay all my bills. I just... don't get as far towards my financial goals as I'd like beyond the month to month. And grow some debt sometimes as opposed to using cash. Instead of some savings. If that makes sense.
Can't cut up cards becasue I do travel for work and sometimes have to put out several thousand dollars on business travel
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