Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Updates - How's everyone doing?
moneta:
Kirakira,
I am so glad that you are starting to think less and less of the guy!!
As i was reading your story, I was thinking hmm the psychics tell her that the guy and his wife were like a business....it was done and now he had to just get rid o it. At the same time, what if the wife were to call the psychics, I just have a feeling that they would tell her that her husband will turn around and he will come back---he loves her etc etc etc. The other woman is just temporarary etc etc. I dunno just a thought. Cuz we all seem to be hearing what we want to hear!
AngelGuided:
KiraKira, I'm so glad you're healing. Sounds like you are very strong. I know I have appreciated your perspective on the psychic readings. I'm sure we've all wondered if we're getting the truth from time to time and this is one of the main reasons we all met on the complaint board, as well as the comraderie and support. There are quite a few frauds in the industry and we wanted to see objectively if predictions were unfolding as predicted. I know I have been aware of making too many calls to CP throughout the past few months, but everyone's journey is different. Sometimes people need some hope to get them through the roughest of days. I think deep down our own intuition tells us whether there is really a connection with our loved ones or not, although we want a little more insight on what's going on with them or what they're thinking, etc. Validation is something I think we are most searching for. If we really believed it was completely over, we would've already moved on just like you. Personally, I spent 20 years with this man and I feel like I've known him very well, we share a child together. It's hard for me to imagine that he would just pack up and leave without looking back. He seems so conflicted and confused, but I see flickers of the man I used to know. He contradicts himself. His tone and emotions don't match the words he says. The words can be cruel, but his tone says it's all a front and show for her. I'm not willing to let him off the hook for what he's done, as a matter of fact I tell him exactly how it is, just like I always have. I feel like he has issues he needs to deal with and under the right circumstances, I may be able to forgive him. Stay strong and we are all here to support you.
Libra:
Kirakira, if you don't mind, who did you read at CP with and who was wrong?
Libra:
We all tend to obsess with the other person, their situation and their thoughts, but how do we even know if thy are truly right for us? How many times did we meet this amazing guy, who was a best friend and had all the great qualities, and later after years went by it turned otherwise. How many of us went into relationships even though we knew that there are problems showing up already?
It is very hard to stop thinking about that other person, but this reveals a problem with many of us are struggling with and it is FEAR OF BEING ALONE. The underlying cause of that is LACK OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR OURSELVES. If people have true unconditional love for themselves, they don't obsessively need that person to be with them and validate them.
If you are loving yourself unconditionally, you don't need to obsess about anything else, you are OK by yourself. However we human beings, have needs to mate and look for relationships. But we must remember that the relationship is just an enhancement, an addition to our amazing existence by ourselves.
kirakira:
Moneta- exactly. That's all I'm saying. Question motives, of them and ourselves. There is a lot of profit happening at that company. And personally, I spent money for false hope that I should not have because for me finances are very very VERY tough. I wish I had been able to read posts like these and find a supportive group of people with similar things going on at the time. I think I would have reconsidered the calls and gained some strength. So that's why I'm still here.
AngelG- I just don't even know what to say to you. Twenty years is such a long time, it must be very difficult to say the least. You must have every emotion in the book going on. I wish strength and resolution for you. I don't know how old you are, and although 20 years is a long time, I bet you have 20 or 40 or more years to go, so no matter how you go it, I hope you will be happy again soon. Remember life is full of unexpected turns and twists, you never know what's on the other side. You might find a new life and new love that you never imagined would exist! I'm not telling you what to do, just thinking about the women I've known who have gone through this.
libra- I sent ya a recap ;)
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