Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com

Do any of you think your POI may not come back?

<< < (7/15) > >>

transplantnurse:

--- Quote from: FaithnTrust on March 05, 2017, 03:54:22 PM ---That's exactly what it means Transplant!! It's only our ego that says otherwise and keeps us hoping and waiting.
People - think of every person in your life that is in a long term, successful relationship ! Besides normal disagreements and maybe a
break up that lasts a few days, you'll notice that their man doesn't disappear. They don't stop calling or stop wanting to be around their
POI. To argue otherwise is just keeping yourself in a safe bubble, which will also keep you from moving on, letting go and living your life.
A MAN IN LOVE DOES NOT DISAPPEAR! It's a painful, brutal truth. Feel the pain - save your money - and move on knowing that he lost the best thing he'll ever know :)

--- End quote ---

Ding ding ding !!this here ^^^^

HornetKick:
That's the way some people learn things...the hard way. Sometimes it's the only thing that sticks and sometimes they never learn. You can't beat a dead horse because you aren't killing it even more - it's gone. It's sad, but you really can't change someone's genetic makeup, although the posts are on point.

sunshineluv7:

--- Quote from: technoblanket3 on March 05, 2017, 02:39:44 AM ---
--- Quote from: sunshineluv7 on March 04, 2017, 06:27:00 PM ---There were times when I honestly thought he wouldn't, and so far... our story keeps continuing. Just last week we probably had the biggest heart to heart we've had in ...a year? a year and a half? and he actually said he's ready to take things forward among a bunch of other stuff I'm still not really entirely sure I believe really happened, even though I partook in the conversation lol. It hasn't happened yet, it's still "talk" and he has "mancaved" since then, so who knows (eye roll).


--- End quote ---

Just wanted to say thank you for your post!

Think it finally gave me the push I needed to contact my POI

I was just so sick of waiting on all these contact predictions when I strongly felt as if I needed some answers to where we were and what was going on seeing as he disappeared for an entire month after telling me that he'd "speak very soon" with me.

And I'm so glad that I did. I called him up after a date I went on tonight (lol) and we chatted for over 2 hours.

While nothings changed - I did get some more answers and after waiting so long to hear it he finally said "I love you" to me.

--- End quote ---

Techno- this is amazing :) I love that you took your power back -- have to catch up on this thread BUT it showed you you DO have power in your own life :) No matter what the outcome - being stuck is the worst!

sunshineluv7:
Have to say I STILL don't think it's as black and white as some people put here.

if the man..lives in your area, you haven't known him long, don't have much of a history/nothing "serious" ish happened - then if he disappears, sure, it means he wasn't that into you/into the idea of a relationship/was more into someone else, whatever. And sometimes the sign that he comes back IS the proof he is in love, or maybe was more in love than he realized. I've had guys come back 3 months, 6 months, 2 years, and now 4 years later - (not talking about the one who i love) - and those guys weren't "in love" but they were "in like" enough to come back when they grew up some.

Trust in your connection if you had one. and YOU are the best judge of that. :)

I think a LOT of times men who are in more serious situations "disappear" because - honestly - they don't have the natural communication skills/words to explain what they are feeling/thinking in any way that makes "sense" enough for them to tell us that. They also instinctively know we will likely question and try to talk them out of it and will be upset and so all that together the easier thing is to avoid. And it's not always a definitive thing, from what I've seen it's more often because they don't know what they want to do, it's not a "no" but it's not a "yes" and instead of lead someone on they'd rather figure stuff out on their own and come back/hope it works out once that's all taken care of.

Is that right? No. My guy even said that. He's not saying what he did is right, but he did offer the best explanation he could. did he have concerns about us? Yes. So it's not like it was for absolutely no reason. But I also didn't know what the concerns were, and he didn't have the communication skills to tell me.

So I really think the best or most accurate "conclusion" would be - if a guy disappears for no reason you can guess it, it's because he lacks communication skills that would allow him another way of telling you he needs space. And no, they can't tell you for how long. They like you, but can't go forward at that time for whatever reason, and don't want to officially break it off because they know that you ARE someone they could see themselves with.

AND, when they don't hear from us, they also assume we didn't care much anyway. I've had more than one guy say that to me in the past.

Guys are dense, and not as good at picking up at nuance as we are in communication and sensing feelings and otherwise. Just thinking about flirting, half the time they don't realize you're flirting unless you're very direct!

BUT let's not brush over the most important part of this thread - in BOTH of our cases the impetus for moving things forward or at least opening the communication channel was on OUR sides, taking power in our own lives and saying screw the outcome at least I can try. EVEN when well-meaning readers said don't contact or wait for him, etc.

I WILL say it's true what they say, a LOT of a mans sense of worthiness comes from job/career, and until that piece is in place or if he doesn't know where his future is going, a good man won't really feel like he can position a woman there with him. so if you know there's something around that area going on in his life, you can guess - even if it won't make sense to us as women - because to us relationships are what define us - that you are a distant second, maybe even third.

So you could read this and say a smart woman wouldn't want a man like that anyway - well, sure. But falling in love or pining after someone is not a logical thing, it's an emotional thing. And if we could say "I only want to date someone with X emotional intelligence" -- how would you even find that out, before it's "too late"? Rhetorical question.

HornetKick:
I see there are lots of excuses in place to give the man a helping hand. I can assure you if this were his job we were discussing, he'd pull some communication out of his ass so fast, it'd stink. Why is the woman always expected to suffer and wait to see what the man figures out? This just isn't logic IMO. Guys don't just flake out on their male buddies, their families...they have enough words in their brains to say this or that to them, but the woman?? I'm not buying it.

But's it's very true, everyone has their own opinions.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page