Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Everyone comes out of the woodwork

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HopefulHeart:
So I dunno if it's just me, but I just need to vent about it for a moment. How the heck is it that, when you're sitting here hoping and begging and praying for an ex to come back, going as far as spending money on psychic readings, reading self-help books, meditating, visualizing, etc and so on and so forth, how is it that we can spend SO MUCH ENERGY wanting one person to come back, everyone else BUT them comes out of the woodwork? I've had a handful of random guys I would never even go for randomly popping up, messaging me, asking me on dates, randomly chatting with me. I don't get it... and I really don't want it. (Honestly, even if I were completely open to dating and looking, I wouldn't date them. For various reasons each one just is not my type).

But really, how is it that everyone comes out of the woodwork except the one you want?

RedVelvet:
good question... but probably because so much of your energy is focused on that one.

Sooshi:
You know, come to think of it, I've had 4 exes crawl out of the woodwork in the last year and a half, some of whom I hadnt talked to in like 15 years. Gotta be something to it. ???

HopefulHeart:
haha it always seems they just come back around!

I was thinking about it the other day actually, and funnily enough, I have had just about every ex and almost-something try to come back at some point. There has honestly only been 1 ex that has not tried. Now granted, I don't have a lot of dating experience lol, but I do have a fair handful of exes and guys who've left and tried to come back at some point (there's actually at least 5 guys; 2 exes and 3 almost somethings) that have tried to come back multiple times! haha. One ex and I did get back together for a short while, and 2 of the other guys I had short flirtations with but nothing went past that, and the others I was either over them by that point or with someone new. (and actually there's been another guy who has asked me on a date multiple times but the poor fella just can't take the hint that "maybe later" sometimes means "never").

And also on that note... what's everyone's best dodging move? lol Theres this one guy that's been popping up lately that just CANNOT take the hint!! Even if I were completely 100000% over my ex, I wouldn't go for him. He is not my type. He's nice as a person and Id be fine if he wanted to be friends, but my God he just doesnt get it. His personality and interests are so far away from mine and anything I'd be interested in. I literally have even gone as far as to tell him that I am not over my ex and that all I am looking for is friendship. He acted like he understood for a hot minute and then was right back to trying to hit on me. ugghh lol.

Why cant the ex I want come back to me!? lol

stargazer:
My go-to dodging move is to block their number. Simple.

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