Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
I'm starting over
sagitira:
gosh...how many of us...exactly..NC begins..i'm sick and tired of being told millions of excuses for him as to why he's behaving the way he does..where is me? what about my feelings? my dignity? mi right to be treated with respect? i sacrifices all of myself for him. i put that on the side and l lived his life basically - it was all about him, how he feels, how he likes things, when he can do things, only when it's convenient to him...in a nice way of course as he doesn't like to be seen as a jerk...
well..almost 3 years..no change to better but it's gone worse..and yet psychics still tell me the same story..it's soo easy to get trapped in this and not realise how much time has passed and in reality you have not recovered much because psychic readings fooled you into secretly still believing that maybe ...just maybe what if they are right? this little seed in my head never died...and this is why my healing takes such a long time. i looked at myself and all i can say is that i was a fool for ever believing this bs and fool for putting all of myself aside for him...who never deserved it...now i have to find me again...it will take time as i forgot me :( i was too occupied with what he's doing, anything on his facebook, who he's messaging with etc...
the only way i believe is to assess the reality without psychic readings and see what is happening. if he's not calling you or contacting you and psychics tell you he loves you? i would seriously think whether this statement is true..actions speak louder then words...next step is really stop the readings. you don't understand how much readings keep you hold on and in pain. and final thing go no contact. really i can see the only way to heal is this way...unless prince charming falls down from the sky in front of you of course.
i can honestly say i truly let him go in my heart. for the first time and i'm determined. scared. very scared as i've not been no contact with him for more then 4 days past 3 years..and i already find it hard not to speak to him. but definitely determined to stick to it and this time the reason is not that i want to punish him or teach him a lesson..this time the reason is that i know i truly know it's not healthy for me and if i continue down this road in 5 years i will find myself still on this board looking for this perfect psychic and believing life is a fairy tale...i don't want that...
oben:
COMRADE i am sooooo happy for you :-*
Angelsaboveus:
COMRAD!!!! OMG How are you girl? Are you married yet? Can you believe I am STILL in this place with this guy? Almost 2 effen years!
Oka so I fell off the wagon almost immediately today and wondered when he would contact me. We were supposed to be taking a break to of course see how HE FEELS and if HE WANTS to continue. The last 7 days have been hell, but I am now coming out of it - specially after my reading today. Eve at CP told me that he didn't want a committed relationship at all. And that if I ended things with him that would be it for us - well I am relieved and scared all at once to be honest. She did say someone else was waiting in the wings for me. And I have had a few readers tell me this actually:
Maureen36: Said he is not my forever guy, and that someone who fits me perfectly is coming in this year. She has told me this for over a year now and given 2014 as the year I will meet him. She also said I will be trying a new treatment for my illness (I have Lyme) before I had even decided to do the treatment - and yes I am doing a new treatment so she was accurate about that. She also said that I will be feeling much better by the end of the summer into Sept - so I do hope she is right about that one!
Cookie: She has been so accurate for me although I know she has not been for everyone. She did say in our last reading a few weeks ago that there is another guy that is so much better for me I would never have to call a psychic to find out what he is feeling, and that if I spent too much time with asshole who keeps hurting me that I will miss him. After all the readings over the last year and a half with her, I do hope she is right this time. She has been accurate for me in lots of predictions.
Magical Sandra: Said he is not in love with me, does not see me as his forever girl, and there is someone better for me. She does say it like it is so I believe she picks up on current well.
I have read with so many others who I think have had some accurate predictions, but I also never read more than a few months out. Oh, and there is one more reader from CP that predicted many things for me: Aliza. She is very good at current and has picked up on 3rd parties with ease. She is good with contact dates as well, although I do think she can be a fairytale reader.
At the end of the day I will share this and I hold on to this thought every moment: I was so caught up in another relationship for a long long time, let's call him the first jackass. I called psychic after psychic trying to see where this relationship would go. I spent 3 years on and off with this guy and 2 years ago this summer I finally broke it off. I stopped calling psychics and just cried, curled up in a ball, for a month. A met the new guy #2 just a month after I broke it off with #1. I will say that I never thought I would be able to move on, but I did and now I would never go back to #1, ever and I have had my chances. He actually repulses me! Now I know if I can get over #1 then most assuredly I can get over #2!! It may take time but I know it is possible - and there are always other opportunities to meet someone new. Yes it is so so scary letting them go. And I know I will have to have a conversation with #2 at some point - I do know he will call and we will talk but I am dreading the conversation now because I know what I have to do when he comes back with "I am not ready for a relationship" and "It's not you it's me" I just don't want to hear it anymore.
Thank you all for reading and supporting. Ok no more calling starts now (again!!)
sunandmoon:
I just have to say this about moving on. As you know I was hung up on my guy for a full 18 months after he stopped talking to me. I finally took a chance with someone and am still with him almost 3 years later. Yesterday as I was leaving work, who rides by me but my exbf. I have the same car which is pretty rare, so he obviously recognized me (and he was riding uphill so not going fast). He gave a small wave, I nodded back, he continued on. I haven't seen him in 3 years now which always surprised me as we live in the same town, though at opposite ends.
Except for surprise at seeing him (I had looked up his pending court case the other day), I felt nothing. I did wonder if it would trigger him to drop me a line. We had been fb friends up till last summer when he finally closed out his duplicate account and transferred everyone but me to it - I am still blocked on it. I realized this morning that the account he used to email me on was the one that crashed and burned the other day and I DON'T CARE. It's actually amazing that I was so obsessed with him and spent THOUSANDS hoping he could come back and now I really don't care. AT ALL
So yes, it is possible to move on. Not easy! But possible. :)
sagitira:
for all of you out there who are now feeling like they are over their ex...would you share what helped you most? any technique, any activity? any good book? i'm honestly determined like i've never been before...
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