Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
I'm starting over
sunandmoon:
Sag - for me it was time. I had 2 new jobs about 10 months after the split, and they were both full of guys. My main job was busy and I immersed myself in it. I had guys paying attention to me at the new jobs and I'll be honest, it was flattering - once I allowed it to be! I actually read some old emails recently and I had emailed a friend saying that I thought 3 guys at those jobs were interested in me, but that I couldn't deal with it because I was still hung up on my exbf.
I spent a lot of time cleaning up my house and yard too. Eventually I healed and was able to open my heart to someone else. But it sure wasn't easy! (or cheap :( )
sagitira:
thank you sunandmoon, i hope it will happen one day for me also...really do that moment when you realise why the hell did i even want this guy...can't wait for that day...i'm also starting to do a lot of house clearing, finding it therapeutic for some reason..:)
Angelsaboveus:
Sagirita, I am trying to get into work again and focus on my kids and health. Maybe get into an activity you enjoy like something physical? That always helps me and if I wasn't sick that is exactly what I would be doing. Make plans this summer: go to concerts, plan a trip even if it is to see a friend it doesn't have to be expensive. I am right here with you - in a very lonely place right now.
sagitira:
thanks guys..it's terrible isn't it? and worst thing is we are no longer newbies...oldies realising something has to give and either i stay and prolong my suffering or end it and suffer badly but hoping that in time it will be ok. and this week i chose the second option. enough is enough..i'll do my best to get through :)
cocoapple:
A guy friend told me that the more we put into the relationship, the higher likely that the relationship will fail because we are too fixated on it and that we should treat relationship like dessert. If you have it, it makes you happy but if you don't, it's still ok cuz you have your regular meals like family, friends, career etc. Maybe we should change the way we approach relationships or handle it.
i tried to remind myself that mine wasn't as bad. I have friends who went through lying, cheating, left alone pregnant etc. and compared to my little ordeal, i'm a wuss and he's not worth it. I go and spend time with my girlfriends, focus on my career and spend more time with family. The same guy friend told me, use this single time to improve myself, to bring myself to the next level and then i'll be able to see other men that i would have never thought of because of my lack of confidence. All this is easier said than done of course.... but the one thing that helps is TIME.
i hope in a few months, this forum will have more positive conversations, about how we're enjoying the summer, forget about the predictions, perhaps a few of us will have someone new coming in the picture to swept us off our feet this summer. i hope for that for all of us here, who's going through the pain once and for all and move on.
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