Kicking the habit

[Carmicsa]

Hey everyone! I haven’t been on here in awhile and just wanted to check to see how everyone was doing! I haven’t had a reading since May and it feels good! Every now and then I think about getting one but I don’t. I feel a lot less anxious and much more care free! My best friend is having a girls night tonight and wants us all to get a reading done. I’m actually excited to get a general reading. Hope all is well, if anyone needs an accountability partner personal message me!

[russianred]

I don't post very often here as I tend to feel ridiculously self-conscious, but I've been lurking more than usual lately as a kind of distraction. I know I'm not the only one who isn't feeling in a good place just now. This turbulent, odd year seems to have taken its toll on my psychological well-being, as I'm sure others can relate. Autumn feels sad and melancholy, and I'm bothered by intrusive memories. When I feel down, I tend to turn to food for comfort and pig out.

I recently had a small flurry of Etsy readings in an attempt to feel better, gain clarity, I'm not sure what, but I should have let sleeping dogs lie. I find this time of year especially reminds me of an old poi from years ago. I've previously mentioned my feeble efforts to put him out of my mind. Some days are just hard for no particular reason, and my sadness about this person sometimes feels debilitating, turning me into a depressed, apathetic sloth. I've decided to try and help myself by permanently ending an already tenuous business link with the poi. I tried to do this once before, but foolishly went back to business dealings with him after a couple of years, kidding myself I could deal with his poor communication and remain unaffected by it. I should have had more pride.. I can honestly say the readings do not help, but only reactivate my stupid longing and yearning for the impossible. I don't know why this poi continues to occupy my thoughts after so many years. I am seriously considering having therapy to help me move on. I feel stuck in the past, and I'm trying to stop engaging in self-destructive behaviour and self-neglect.

You're not alone.  I know that people who get psychic readings are traditionally stereotyped as "woo woo" at best and dumb at worst, but one thing I've learned from reading these boards is that most of feel everything so very deeply and find it difficult to "move on" from people (or more accurately perhaps, move on from our hopes and dreams).  Maybe we all idealize other people a little too much.  I often feel that most other people seem to be living in a different reality -- one where common sense rules and they are content with a romance that I would consider ho-hum and boring -- whereas I've often longed for these not-too-available men as part of some sort of tragic romantic story I apparently like to write and re-write for myself.  You're right that frequent readings only serve to keep us nervously hovering over the situation and POI.

[tinamarie]

Trust me I understand. As a logical person, I can’t understand how I developed this habit. I guess the fear of loosing the idea of a person is scary and hurtful. We don’t want to feeling that discomfort that comes from heartbreak so we turn to someone who we believe can provide us with insight or some hope. Thank you for sharing your story!

In a way it may be worse for those of us who are normally logical and rational. When heavy emotions hit you can't always think your way out of it. I thought very logically about what I was told in readings and had a lot of skepticism, but it's like my whole sense of logic skewed in favor of needing to feel better. I gave psychics way too much benefit of the doubt, I thought, it seems totally unrealistic but surely they wouldn't all be seeing the same thing and telling me this unless it is real and will happen?? It seemed logical at the time.

This has been my experience too.  I hadn't experienced the type of emotions POI stirred in me, and I was so desperate for an answer as to how someone's words could be so removed from his actions (still am waiting for that answer).  I'm a logical, black-and-white type of person.  I would never raise expectations of a relationship with my words with someone if I wasn't ready to follow through.

From reading these boards, I've learned a lot of things.  One is that most people who post here aren't people pining over some long-lost and unrealistic love.  I think most of us call BECAUSE the situation is one that is so baffling, where everything "logically" seems that it should fall into place, but it doesn't, and that disconnect is what makes us look for insight and answers.

Ultimately I wasn't satisfied with any rationale given to me because I still feel, deep down, that if this man wanted to be with me, he would make that happen.  That's another thing I've learned from these boards -- these boards have so many posts from people at the end of their journey with readings about a POI who have all just had to accept that ultimately, if someone wants to be with you, (s)he will be, despite whatever the psychics say.

Another topic I've seen posts on a lot is about how love doesn't always follow the rules of what feels rational.  For me, if I feel that a connection is powerful, I want to do anything I can to explore it.  That's logical to me.  But it seems that love and connection just don't conquer everything.  People have problems in their own lives, self-esteem issues, mental health issues, lots of stuff that can get in the way.  And even if the psychics are able to give us some insight on that, it doesn't help us to control the situation, and it doesn't make POI any more likely to overcome said issues.

i really feel you. i'm in a similar situation. but in my case we remain close, maybe get closer, but the end result he does clearly not want what i want and he has said it many times, and to me that answer just is not logical. mental health, and all other issues can definitely get in the way here and it's true we can not really control another person or create their actions or feelings or minds to work in any kind of way. it goes back to control, fear of the unknown, uncertainty, inability to go into the unknown and really wanting happiness for ourselves and seeing the possiblity very strongly in another particular person. it's a really hard thing to grasp and cope with. maybe outside help is needed to be able to see a different point of view to get over something like this

[HazelYella]

Trust me I understand. As a logical person, I can’t understand how I developed this habit. I guess the fear of loosing the idea of a person is scary and hurtful. We don’t want to feeling that discomfort that comes from heartbreak so we turn to someone who we believe can provide us with insight or some hope. Thank you for sharing your story!

Perfectly stated.