The idea of CONTROL ...

[russianred]

Often posters on here will talk about how we've used readings as a way through which we've tried to get some form of control over a situation when we feel otherwise powerless.

In the last few days I've been thinking of this concept of control but in a more constructive way - where control is a good thing.  I finally feel that with a LOT of time and reflection, I feel more in control of myself and my reactions to the situation with POI...

In the past, I would call readers to get reassurance and/or to obtain some sort of a road map to navigate a tricky situation.  But that was so artificial... like many of us on here have experienced, the more I called readers, the less control I felt (plus my finances actually spinning out of control due to readings compounded that feeling).

I finally feel that I am now gaining confidence that I can control whatever comes at me.  I don't feel like I'm simply at the mercy of POI's whims; I can respond to him however I want.

I feel that the idea of control is intertwined with a sense of confidence... a confidence that I will know the right thing to do without knowing the future via psychics. Confidence that even if things don't work out with POI, I will be OK in my life.  Confidence that one little thing isn't going to f*ck up a relationship so I don't need to constantly seek out psychic guidance for how to handle everything.

What does the word control mean to you?  How have you seen the idea of control play out in your journey with readings/psychics?

[Theladyleo76]

For me, I get readings so I know what to expect so that I can make (what I feel) are the best decisions. Unfortunately, I have found that trying to make decisions based on what psychics predict will happen has been the worst thing to do. I have spent so much time "waiting" for outcomes that I have found that I stopped living organically. 
To further clarify- if I am going through it because of a breakup I often call to find out if we will get back together or if I should move on and open myself up to seeing other people. More often than not I am told that the ex will come back around. (and they usually do even without a psychic prediction) So I wait and I sit and I hold myself up from dating and meeting other people because I want to remain "faithful" to the idea of us. When in reality, if someone leaves then I have the right to live my life and experience other people who want to enjoy my companionship. 

Also, I have found that getting multiple readings creates more confusion. My cycle is- I get a reading, it sounds way too good to believe so I get another reading and another, then I finally get one that is totally different from the others and now I am confused if the first few were correct or was the one that was different was correct. So then I start reading tons of reviews trying to find someone who most people say is accurate. I get a reading from that person and then I am satisfied for the moment. However, that person's timing is usually off so I am back in the cycle again.

I have spent WAY TOO MUCH MONEY on readings and I don't feel it is completely a waste. I do enjoy readings- probably more so because I am fascinated that someone can tell me specific detail about a relationship I have with someone without knowing either of us. However, if I continue to get readings I need to find a few trusted advisers, set limits and stick to it. And stop all this crazy spiral spending.

[russianred]

@StillTired, I def agree that we don't have control of a lot of things that turn out to be fate or our own paths in life. but i do feel like by calling readers so often that im losing my own control of my own trust and confidence in myself to be able to deal with and accept whatever is going to happen....idk if that makes sense

Totally makes sense. I felt less and less confident in my ability to handle whatever came my way the more I called.

For me, I get readings so I know what to expect so that I can make (what I feel) are the best decisions. Unfortunately, I have found that trying to make decisions based on what psychics predict will happen has been the worst thing to do. I have spent so much time "waiting" for outcomes that I have found that I stopped living organically. 
To further clarify- if I am going through it because of a breakup I often call to find out if we will get back together or if I should move on and open myself up to seeing other people. More often than not I am told that the ex will come back around. (and they usually do even without a psychic prediction) So I wait and I sit and I hold myself up from dating and meeting other people because I want to remain "faithful" to the idea of us. When in reality, if someone leaves then I have the right to live my life and experience other people who want to enjoy my companionship. 

Also, I have found that getting multiple readings creates more confusion. My cycle is- I get a reading, it sounds way too good to believe so I get another reading and another, then I finally get one that is totally different from the others and now I am confused if the first few were correct or was the one that was different was correct. So then I start reading tons of reviews trying to find someone who most people say is accurate. I get a reading from that person and then I am satisfied for the moment. However, that person's timing is usually off so I am back in the cycle again.

I have spent WAY TOO MUCH MONEY on readings and I don't feel it is completely a waste. I do enjoy readings- probably more so because I am fascinated that someone can tell me specific detail about a relationship I have with someone without knowing either of us. However, if I continue to get readings I need to find a few trusted advisers, set limits and stick to it. And stop all this crazy spiral spending.

I love how you put this, living organically.  I'm going to start using that phrase.

I haven't gotten a psychic reading for a little while now and I'm feeling a lot better.  I'm tempted to go back to a reader who seemingly got a pretty big "hit" with a prediction she made back in January, but I'm afraid her future predictions may either not be what I want OR they'll have living an inorganic life, as you put it.

I agree, I do think that readings can be enjoyable at times.  I used to have that type of relationship with them (going to a tarot reader in person) but it spiraled out of control this winter, and I'm proud of regaining control of my life.

Can I ask just out of curiosity what the current situation is with your POI?  Are you together?

[JAG20]

I've been addicted to readings on and off for several years and when I was younger I'd threat and worry more about my readings and how outcomes can easily change and how me not being in contact with the significant other means I'm in the dark but in recent years as I've got older I've learned that many of my situations are out of my control. I mean I've got in to manifesting recently and found that it calms me more and brings a more positive aspect to my life but it hasn't made any real outcomes happen yet but I've definitely relaxed more towards situations cuz I have to understand that the other person's actions are out of my control

[russianred]

I started this thread a while back and have been going back to thinking of the concept of control... how desperate I was to feel in control of what was a messy situation this winter that I binged to the tune of thousands of dollars on Keen...

pRoFeSsOr777, I'm just reading your post now. I don't know how strongly I believe in predestination (ironic considering I was addicted to calling psychics), but I like what you posted about how the future will unfold whether we get readings or not.

I often try to micro-manage things (control) in my life in order to try to get a certain outcome, and I find that extends to my relationships.  I'm often trying to get something through my actions instead of just letting things unfold organically.

Psychics were another way for me to try to have a sense of control...
Positive predictions - great, I don't have to worry or act a certain way because I have the assurance that I will get what I want (although I never actually believed it)
Negative predictions - I think these acted as a way to prepare myself for "the worst," like feeling as though I still controlled the situation if I felt prepared for a negative outcome (although I never accepted it)

One thing that sticks out to me is that for as much as psychics are considered "woo woo" -- there are so many people here who (like me) constantly analyze and live in our brains all the time, trying to figure out the future when it feels so much better to live in the moment and in our bodies.  It's a struggle for me.