How much time it too much time?

[ladya]

Ok I’m about to come with the sledgehammer but if I learned anything in my ripe old age of 29, if your poi (guy or gal) does not make any attempt of reach out to you within 3 months (and that’s being generous) MOVE ON. This person is not “suffering” they are living their life without you at this point. Move on, move on, move on. They are not pining after you or giving you the time of day like you are giving them. They are not. Stop filling your head and tricking yourself to think they are because as humans we shield ourselves from the bad to cope with a loss. You need to feel to heal. Feel for your loss and then move on! Time is the most valuable thing on this planet, you will never get it back. Invest it in things and people who will invest in you. Set boundaries early in your relationships, and the person willing to put in the time and effort will be the one who wins your heart. I will say it here but I got my poi, we share a home together and build on our love everyday. The ONLY psychic to get big outcome predictions of what’s actually happening in my life right now was a known scammer. What does that tell you? Move on with your life friends. You only get one.

I’m stepping off my soapbox. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

Not sure I agree. Yes, don’t sit there and sulk over them and prevent yourself from being able to move on but I don’t agree with the 3 months. Of course if you weren’t really in a relationship to begin with and they ghosted you months ago, yeah they probably aren’t gonna come back. Or if you’ve reached out several times with no response. But dependent of the nature of why you ended, which only you know know, a guy might be hesitant to come back even if he does want to. Maybe y’all ended on bad terms and he also thinks you want nothing to do with him? Maybe he realizes he did stuff that he may see as being unforgivable? They have egos and are prideful too, if they come back they’ll have to admit their faults and nobody wants to do that.

An example: my brother, yes a male, still thinks about a girl he was with 9 years ago. He dreams about her, he misses her, he has regrets but has he tried getting her back? No. He also has been in love with a friend for over a year and has not taken any steps to get her. I think some people put a little bit too much pressure on males to be the one to always make the move as if they are immune to fears.

i agree girly. theres men who came back years after and still continue to. some 10 years. i had one confess his love to me drunk 10 years after when we became good friends. time is an illusion. I still think about majority of my exes from time to time and I think for men, they never get over women they truly love and will actually think about her longer than the woman will. I know my ex still thinks about me because I can feel it and we haven't been in touch in years and when we didnt speak he said he thought about me all the time and he came back almost a year later. One thing I've truly learned is you can only run away for so long because the feelings suffocate you so much. sometimes men need that to actually take any action. just because they dont contact you doesnt mean they dont care and i think on some level we know if they do or don't. should you stop your life? No. but 1 month, 2 months, 1 year its all just an illusion. I tend to believe that the longer the person is away, the more the love grows almost like an obsession for the other person because at that point all the bad memories are gone and all you can think about is all the good. At least it has been the case in my life over and over again with men i've been involved with. even men ive just briefly dated.

That's true, but that's with some men. Most men do come back at least in my experience and friends I know for not genuine purposes. Maybe I seem to meet the abusive men who don't care as none of them have ever shown any true feelings and all used me and been very abusive. I haven't had one normal healthy relationship where a guy came back and said yeah I still love you all this time onwards and I wish things worked out. The most I got was a FWB situation where we were both rebounding each other because of heartache and we had a huge row and he blocked and ignored me. A month later I got a text apologising and he said it was getting too serious for him and he couldn't handle it but best of luck etc. Every so often he pops up to see how I am, but I know it's mainly he wants sexual things again as it's flirting and innuendos and I am way past that. You seem to be the lucky lady who has all these men swooning at you and this isn't meant sarcy or rude btw.

I think some behaviours can be passed off as caring and missing someone. I used to believe that men cared about me because they got jealous, but I now know that just because a man is controlling and jealous about other men around you that doesn't mean he wants or cares for you.

I'm not very good with my words and maybe I didn't write this out well but some women have better luck with exes loving them years onwards and other women have men abuse them and not give them a second look or care.

I know a situation with a woman who was in a very very toxic situation with a guy and when she tries to leave he does his he is going to kill himself he loves her he waits outside her house for her when she goes to work in the mornings and tries grabbing her and giving her flowers. And then she forgives him 1000x and he abuses her, cheats, hits her talks down to her uses her and has substance abuses. To some people they actually fell for that he loved her deep down because of what happens when she walks away, but if you were in the situation you could see it wasn't true love.

I’m sorry you had to go through that star. My relationship with my ex was very toxic. I didn’t get abused or anything but the dynamic and what we brought out in each other. I was somebody I didn’t recognize and never wanna be there again. While I was in it I was so in love I accepted everything but he still did more for me than most people ever did in my life. I know it’s crazy to think about but he treated me well as a person but was a bad bf and I accepted the shit cause I was so in love and cause when I really needed something he was there. It was a crazy dynamic but I grew from it and thankful for it. i think back and sometimes wonder if it was a dream because it felt like some sh*t you would see in a movie. He still comes to me in my dreams and I think he stopped contacting me for me not for himself cause if I allowed he would’ve still been in my life. I still love him but not in love and didn’t trust him after all that occurred plus I moved on and met my current bf. Our relationship hasn’t been easy either but day and night compared to my last. All the relationships I attract always have an intensity and weird duality to them and a lot of shit comes out but I guess that’s where we grow the most. I can’t really say anything has ever been normal in my life lol

[Star_01]

Girly1998: yeah I guess in a sense it's frustating when they come back but you're like "really?!". That's what I mean in that exes may return but we may have changed our mind or they may not be genuine. The spark gets lost at some point, sadly.

LadyA: thanks so much, I'm also sorry to hear that you have been in an unhealthy situation. It's strange to hear he treated you well as a person yet the relationship wasn't so healthy, that is rare to happen and generally when people decide to stay as friends as it works better that way. I too seem to be attracting the same types of relationships and guys, it sucks.  But at least the other guy did you a favour I guess and left the situation so that you could move on and he didn't wanna keep letting you down and hurting you. That's a respectful thing of him to do.

[ladya]

Girly1998: yeah I guess in a sense it's frustating when they come back but you're like "really?!". That's what I mean in that exes may return but we may have changed our mind or they may not be genuine. The spark gets lost at some point, sadly.

LadyA: thanks so much, I'm also sorry to hear that you have been in an unhealthy situation. It's strange to hear he treated you well as a person yet the relationship wasn't so healthy, that is rare to happen and generally when people decide to stay as friends as it works better that way. I too seem to be attracting the same types of relationships and guys, it sucks.  But at least the other guy did you a favour I guess and left the situation so that you could move on and he didn't wanna keep letting you down and hurting you. That's a respectful thing of him to do.

Ye it's strange lol but welcome to my life. I could write a book on the weird dynamics ive encountered in life. We tried being friends as I was fine with it since I was no longer in love but he couldn't stand the thought of me with someone else and was in still deeply in love. we ended so badly and it got ressurrected as if nothing had happened so there is always a chance no matter what happened in the past. i used to think very black or white but throughout this journey of life, i realized how many shades of gray there are. no 2 people are the same and each relationship is so different. i truly believe in love though and i think its stronger than anything in this world. i think its the only thing in this world that can change a person. if the love's not gone theres still hope for the relationship in this lifetime. and im not even a hopeless romantic lol

[Girly1998]

Girly1998: yeah I guess in a sense it's frustating when they come back but you're like "really?!". That's what I mean in that exes may return but we may have changed our mind or they may not be genuine. The spark gets lost at some point, sadly.

LadyA: thanks so much, I'm also sorry to hear that you have been in an unhealthy situation. It's strange to hear he treated you well as a person yet the relationship wasn't so healthy, that is rare to happen and generally when people decide to stay as friends as it works better that way. I too seem to be attracting the same types of relationships and guys, it sucks.  But at least the other guy did you a favour I guess and left the situation so that you could move on and he didn't wanna keep letting you down and hurting you. That's a respectful thing of him to do.

Ye it's strange lol but welcome to my life. I could write a book on the weird dynamics ive encountered in life. We tried being friends as I was fine with it since I was no longer in love but he couldn't stand the thought of me with someone else and was in still deeply in love. we ended so badly and it got ressurrected as if nothing had happened so there is always a chance no matter what happened in the past. i used to think very black or white but throughout this journey of life, i realized how many shades of gray there are. no 2 people are the same and each relationship is so different. i truly believe in love though and i think its stronger than anything in this world. i think its the only thing in this world that can change a person. if the love's not gone theres still hope for the relationship in this lifetime. and im not even a hopeless romantic lol

My God, will you be my therapist? 😂

[Star_01]

Girly1998: yeah I guess in a sense it's frustating when they come back but you're like "really?!". That's what I mean in that exes may return but we may have changed our mind or they may not be genuine. The spark gets lost at some point, sadly.

LadyA: thanks so much, I'm also sorry to hear that you have been in an unhealthy situation. It's strange to hear he treated you well as a person yet the relationship wasn't so healthy, that is rare to happen and generally when people decide to stay as friends as it works better that way. I too seem to be attracting the same types of relationships and guys, it sucks.  But at least the other guy did you a favour I guess and left the situation so that you could move on and he didn't wanna keep letting you down and hurting you. That's a respectful thing of him to do.

Ye it's strange lol but welcome to my life. I could write a book on the weird dynamics ive encountered in life. We tried being friends as I was fine with it since I was no longer in love but he couldn't stand the thought of me with someone else and was in still deeply in love. we ended so badly and it got ressurrected as if nothing had happened so there is always a chance no matter what happened in the past. i used to think very black or white but throughout this journey of life, i realized how many shades of gray there are. no 2 people are the same and each relationship is so different. i truly believe in love though and i think its stronger than anything in this world. i think its the only thing in this world that can change a person. if the love's not gone theres still hope for the relationship in this lifetime. and im not even a hopeless romantic lol

I'm not disputing that you're wrong, you know your situations better than others but certainly with me there was no love from my partners. One I'm sure had love for me but in the end it died from both our sides as it was so toxic. I think everybody's story is different and nobody knows anyone's situation on here better than the person themselves so if they think truly inside that a guy will be back then good for them as that's what their intution and number one (them) is feeling. Sometimes people can come back changed but I think it's very important to keep living your life too and be realistic. Like you said about your situation the person had feelings and was a good friend to you but realistically in a relationship sense he wasn't able to give you what you wanted which is really sad as both people are feeling the same but the actions are different. So it's a good job you carried on with life and didn't waste time on false hope.

[ladya]

Girly1998: yeah I guess in a sense it's frustating when they come back but you're like "really?!". That's what I mean in that exes may return but we may have changed our mind or they may not be genuine. The spark gets lost at some point, sadly.

LadyA: thanks so much, I'm also sorry to hear that you have been in an unhealthy situation. It's strange to hear he treated you well as a person yet the relationship wasn't so healthy, that is rare to happen and generally when people decide to stay as friends as it works better that way. I too seem to be attracting the same types of relationships and guys, it sucks.  But at least the other guy did you a favour I guess and left the situation so that you could move on and he didn't wanna keep letting you down and hurting you. That's a respectful thing of him to do.

Ye it's strange lol but welcome to my life. I could write a book on the weird dynamics ive encountered in life. We tried being friends as I was fine with it since I was no longer in love but he couldn't stand the thought of me with someone else and was in still deeply in love. we ended so badly and it got ressurrected as if nothing had happened so there is always a chance no matter what happened in the past. i used to think very black or white but throughout this journey of life, i realized how many shades of gray there are. no 2 people are the same and each relationship is so different. i truly believe in love though and i think its stronger than anything in this world. i think its the only thing in this world that can change a person. if the love's not gone theres still hope for the relationship in this lifetime. and im not even a hopeless romantic lol

I'm not disputing that you're wrong, you know your situations better than others but certainly with me there was no love from my partners. One I'm sure had love for me but in the end it died from both our sides as it was so toxic. I think everybody's story is different and nobody knows anyone's situation on here better than the person themselves so if they think truly inside that a guy will be back then good for them as that's what their intution and number one (them) is feeling. Sometimes people can come back changed but I think it's very important to keep living your life too and be realistic. Like you said about your situation the person had feelings and was a good friend to you but realistically in a relationship sense he wasn't able to give you what you wanted which is really sad as both people are feeling the same but the actions are different. So it's a good job you carried on with life and didn't waste time on false hope.

Agree! Most important person in your life is you and always have to do what is best for you.

[Candy]

Wow! Thanks for sharing your story and I’m sorry to hear about all that you’ve been through. For those of you who have gotten that sense of “knowing” that someone will play a significant part in your life at first meeting, or love at first sight, or that feeling that you’ve known someone for a long time the first few moments you two meet...what do you make of it?? How can you explain it? And is it usually correct that that person will play a significant role in your life?

I had a situation like that recently — where I met someone completely unexpectedly at a business function — and I could not explain this intense pull, a connection that I have no idea what to make of. Anyhow, he has been on my mind, and it’s complicated due to long distance and professional boundaries that I would prefer not to cross. Anyhow, it’s tough because I have no idea how he truly feels l, but it’s also a connection that I can’t deny. 

I have that when I meet every significant person in my life. I just need eye contact and I know they'll be around for a while. You never really know what the outcome will be until youre there but I always have that knowing. I also always know when someones coming back or if they will and ill get dreams or whatever else. I love it but sometimes I wish i didnt have it because Id be a normal person living a normal life not knowing what the ending will be like. Its funny cause for me it's normal but for the other person its usually not and theyre like wth is this.

Ladya, so the other party doesn’t reciprocate the feelings or simply don’t have the same sense of “knowing” about the future? When you sense that the person will play a significant role in your life, is it a general feeling of “this person will be a part of my life — good or bad” or is it specific like, “Oh, this is the guy I’m going to have babies with?” When you have a premonition about something, does it often come true?

[ladya]

Wow! Thanks for sharing your story and I’m sorry to hear about all that you’ve been through. For those of you who have gotten that sense of “knowing” that someone will play a significant part in your life at first meeting, or love at first sight, or that feeling that you’ve known someone for a long time the first few moments you two meet...what do you make of it?? How can you explain it? And is it usually correct that that person will play a significant role in your life?

I had a situation like that recently — where I met someone completely unexpectedly at a business function — and I could not explain this intense pull, a connection that I have no idea what to make of. Anyhow, he has been on my mind, and it’s complicated due to long distance and professional boundaries that I would prefer not to cross. Anyhow, it’s tough because I have no idea how he truly feels l, but it’s also a connection that I can’t deny. 

I have that when I meet every significant person in my life. I just need eye contact and I know they'll be around for a while. You never really know what the outcome will be until youre there but I always have that knowing. I also always know when someones coming back or if they will and ill get dreams or whatever else. I love it but sometimes I wish i didnt have it because Id be a normal person living a normal life not knowing what the ending will be like. Its funny cause for me it's normal but for the other person its usually not and theyre like wth is this.

Ladya, so the other party doesn’t reciprocate the feelings or simply don’t have the same sense of “knowing” about the future? When you sense that the person will play a significant role in your life, is it a general feeling of “this person will be a part of my life — good or bad” or is it specific like, “Oh, this is the guy I’m going to have babies with?” When you have a premonition about something, does it often come true?

So for me it's normal to have these sort of fated feelings but typically when I meet let's say a man they never did before right so for them its strange cause they get the same feeling but don't know what to make of it. It's always been reciprocated but its more so why they can't control it and why do they feel the way they feel. I used to go through life thinking everyone had this and was normal till i met a lot of people that looked at me like I was crazy LOL. until i came on this board I didnt know many people to experience what I did or even put it into words how i just knew. I would go on dates with guys and tell my friends how i knew its not it and i would get shit and be like you cant know give them a chance theyre a good guy. Im like no, I know within first glance. there's plenty of good men out there, but simply being good doesnt suffice, sorry. if i dont feel it, it's not happening and I will not waste anyones time or my own. i know if a person is good or bad right away (a good or bad soul i mean) but i sense this with everyone. its hard with romantic relationships cause ive had it with every guy ive been with but I haven't ended up with them long term but I will say it gets stronger  with every encounter. My premonitions do usually come true but I dont really get them that often and can't control when I do. To add most of these encounters, yes they usually do play an important role and usually they don’t leave my life completely. They always circle in and out throughout the years in some fashion.

[Candy]

Wow! Thanks for sharing your story and I’m sorry to hear about all that you’ve been through. For those of you who have gotten that sense of “knowing” that someone will play a significant part in your life at first meeting, or love at first sight, or that feeling that you’ve known someone for a long time the first few moments you two meet...what do you make of it?? How can you explain it? And is it usually correct that that person will play a significant role in your life?

I had a situation like that recently — where I met someone completely unexpectedly at a business function — and I could not explain this intense pull, a connection that I have no idea what to make of. Anyhow, he has been on my mind, and it’s complicated due to long distance and professional boundaries that I would prefer not to cross. Anyhow, it’s tough because I have no idea how he truly feels l, but it’s also a connection that I can’t deny. 

I have that when I meet every significant person in my life. I just need eye contact and I know they'll be around for a while. You never really know what the outcome will be until youre there but I always have that knowing. I also always know when someones coming back or if they will and ill get dreams or whatever else. I love it but sometimes I wish i didnt have it because Id be a normal person living a normal life not knowing what the ending will be like. Its funny cause for me it's normal but for the other person its usually not and theyre like wth is this.

Ladya, so the other party doesn’t reciprocate the feelings or simply don’t have the same sense of “knowing” about the future? When you sense that the person will play a significant role in your life, is it a general feeling of “this person will be a part of my life — good or bad” or is it specific like, “Oh, this is the guy I’m going to have babies with?” When you have a premonition about something, does it often come true?

So for me it's normal to have these sort of fated feelings but typically when I meet let's say a man they never did before right so for them its strange cause they get the same feeling but don't know what to make of it. It's always been reciprocated but its more so why they can't control it and why do they feel the way they feel. I used to go through life thinking everyone had this and was normal till i met a lot of people that looked at me like I was crazy LOL. until i came on this board I didnt know many people to experience what I did or even put it into words how i just knew. I would go on dates with guys and tell my friends how i knew its not it and i would get shit and be like you cant know give them a chance theyre a good guy. Im like no, I know within first glance. there's plenty of good men out there, but simply being good doesnt suffice, sorry. if i dont feel it, it's not happening and I will not waste anyones time or my own. i know if a person is good or bad right away (a good or bad soul i mean) but i sense this with everyone. its hard with romantic relationships cause ive had it with every guy ive been with but I haven't ended up with them long term but I will say it gets stronger  with every encounter. My premonitions do usually come true but I dont really get them that often and can't control when I do. To add most of these encounters, yes they usually do play an important role and usually they don’t leave my life completely. They always circle in and out throughout the years in some fashion.

Very interesting. I am the same way, but I am also very rational by nature and don’t always trust my own intuition, so I still doubt myself when I get that sense of “knowing” about people. Have you ever met someone and immediate think, “This is the man I am going to marry?” So strange that I recently had an encounter like that and of course I think I’m a little crazy — how can I possibly know the future at first glance??

[ladya]

Wow! Thanks for sharing your story and I’m sorry to hear about all that you’ve been through. For those of you who have gotten that sense of “knowing” that someone will play a significant part in your life at first meeting, or love at first sight, or that feeling that you’ve known someone for a long time the first few moments you two meet...what do you make of it?? How can you explain it? And is it usually correct that that person will play a significant role in your life?

I had a situation like that recently — where I met someone completely unexpectedly at a business function — and I could not explain this intense pull, a connection that I have no idea what to make of. Anyhow, he has been on my mind, and it’s complicated due to long distance and professional boundaries that I would prefer not to cross. Anyhow, it’s tough because I have no idea how he truly feels l, but it’s also a connection that I can’t deny. 

I have that when I meet every significant person in my life. I just need eye contact and I know they'll be around for a while. You never really know what the outcome will be until youre there but I always have that knowing. I also always know when someones coming back or if they will and ill get dreams or whatever else. I love it but sometimes I wish i didnt have it because Id be a normal person living a normal life not knowing what the ending will be like. Its funny cause for me it's normal but for the other person its usually not and theyre like wth is this.

Ladya, so the other party doesn’t reciprocate the feelings or simply don’t have the same sense of “knowing” about the future? When you sense that the person will play a significant role in your life, is it a general feeling of “this person will be a part of my life — good or bad” or is it specific like, “Oh, this is the guy I’m going to have babies with?” When you have a premonition about something, does it often come true?

So for me it's normal to have these sort of fated feelings but typically when I meet let's say a man they never did before right so for them its strange cause they get the same feeling but don't know what to make of it. It's always been reciprocated but its more so why they can't control it and why do they feel the way they feel. I used to go through life thinking everyone had this and was normal till i met a lot of people that looked at me like I was crazy LOL. until i came on this board I didnt know many people to experience what I did or even put it into words how i just knew. I would go on dates with guys and tell my friends how i knew its not it and i would get shit and be like you cant know give them a chance theyre a good guy. Im like no, I know within first glance. there's plenty of good men out there, but simply being good doesnt suffice, sorry. if i dont feel it, it's not happening and I will not waste anyones time or my own. i know if a person is good or bad right away (a good or bad soul i mean) but i sense this with everyone. its hard with romantic relationships cause ive had it with every guy ive been with but I haven't ended up with them long term but I will say it gets stronger  with every encounter. My premonitions do usually come true but I dont really get them that often and can't control when I do. To add most of these encounters, yes they usually do play an important role and usually they don’t leave my life completely. They always circle in and out throughout the years in some fashion.

Very interesting. I am the same way, but I am also very rational by nature and don’t always trust my own intuition, so I still doubt myself when I get that sense of “knowing” about people. Have you ever met someone and immediate think, “This is the man I am going to marry?” So strange that I recently had an encounter like that and of course I think I’m a little crazy — how can I possibly know the future at first glance??

Ye I’m very rational too lol and I used to doubt myself until I stopped because I was right too many times. I still battle it because I like facts and concrete evidence and this goes far beyond it. I have had that feeling but I’ll tell you further down the line when it happens lol.

[Candy]

LOL, yes! Please let me know how that sense of knowing works out. I’m just now accepting it but still struggle with it. I often wonder if the energies and feelings I picked up from someone are the same for him, how much of it is my own projection, and if the outcome will come true. Like, if I feel this is the person for me, what does it really mean? Often, I know we’ll have some kind of relationship. But what will the relationship be — a fling? Marriage? I’ve had past situations where I get a strong sense upon meeting someone and they never leave completely but also never commit fully. So it’s a lot of frustration and heartbreak in the end. I’m trying to avoid that so not willing to make too much of an emotional investment early on.

[ladya]

LOL, yes! Please let me know how that sense of knowing works out. I’m just now accepting it but still struggle with it. I often wonder if the energies and feelings I picked up from someone are the same for him, how much of it is my own projection, and if the outcome will come true. Like, if I feel this is the person for me, what does it really mean? Often, I know we’ll have some kind of relationship. But what will the relationship be — a fling? Marriage? I’ve had past situations where I get a strong sense upon meeting someone and they never leave completely but also never commit fully. So it’s a lot of frustration and heartbreak in the end. I’m trying to avoid that so not willing to make too much of an emotional investment early on.

Try to stay in the present and take things slow! You can always inbox me if you have any questions or wanna talk

[SarahM]

Random question, can psychics actually see up to a decade ahead? I've had some psychics actually predict things that far ahead.. is that really possible?

[russianred]

This thread is a great read.  I wonder how much of our calling and what we put up with stems from the idea that these POIs are the only people in the world for us?

I am happy that I have a chance to see where things go with the POI I spent thousands of dollars binging on last fall and winter.  I understand probably only a minority of people on here get a positive outcome and don't want to seem ungrateful.  But I will say that I think the calling cycle builds up these men in our heads to the point where we think that there can never be another man for us.  When I'm with POI now, I see him more for who he is... someone I want a relationship with... but he's not otherworldly, or the only man in the world with whom I'm compatible.

I totally respect the idea of soul contracts and the like -- but for me -- I feel like all of the calling and obsessing elevated my POI and our "connection" beyond what it actually is.

[CancerBumble]

Random question, can psychics actually see up to a decade ahead? I've had some psychics actually predict things that far ahead.. is that really possible?

I think yes. My local psychic medium told my coworker she will leave my company before April 2020 because the structure of my company will change after that. The prediction was made 10 years ago back in 2010. What happened was my coworker was unexpectedly reassigned to work for a new team in another office location late March 2020 and then COVID-19 lockdown happened forcing her and the company to work from home. My coworker thinks it’s a hit because of the other circumstances and description of the her new boss. He had told her new boss would be short and her current boss is 4’10”.

My coworkers think our psychic medium has a 85-90% accuracy rate but some predictions take a long time to pan out and some happen within days or weeks.

Does this psychic have a website? I'm interested