Cfisher, I'm not liking that she dosen't really know who you will marry and is pulling the "you'll have a choice thing". I'm also not liking that she says you have to prove something to him. Umm...he is the nutcase here, so he should be proving to you. I'm only going to call cookie if I want to spy on someone (I use Mslisam and Verushka for that already) etc. Seems like all she is good for really.....
@loops77 - I don't disagree with you on the *choice* thing, but it' the second time I've heard this before. Cookie also told me I could walk away completely from this guy and then the entire reading would change as well. She also mentioned everything was dependent on what I wanted to do with this guy. I told her I didn't want to carry on with him the way things were rolling as I was having that emotional spiraling thing happening on my end. Where I was beginning to feel worse about things. I also told her that the last thing I would do is pursue anything with him whatsoever. And she told me, well you are saying that, but that's just not what I see happening. He had told me in the beginning that he wasn't emotionally available. I took that at face value as I wasn't looking for anything serious at that point either. But then as you become closer to someone, you start having feelings for someone. Then I got stuck. Like, in the mud, stuck and now I feel like I'm on a hold, which I hate. There truly was no finality to how we ended things and part of me wishes it was a completely closed door.
Also regarding her saying that I need to prove something to him. That irritated me big time. But the truth of the matter is I think life will just sort of happen. I get to choose who I have in my life and so does he. He isn't emotionally available, he told me that and I still carried on as I was having fun. Then fun turned into not fun and a lot of confusion on my end, which I never intended.
I don't question that he and I could be friends, we get along really well, he's just not ready for what I want. Am I wasting my time? Yes, from this perspective, absolutely. But I have to say, an ex-boyfriend of mine from 12 years ago, is still in my life and had I not trusted my gut, listened to Cookie believing at the end (now) this could turn into something really healthy for me, I wouldn't be in this very caring, mutually beneficial, platonic friendship where we are working together as a team. I never, ever would have thought that with that particular man I would ever have the opportunity to fix what was so incredibly broken and tumultuous for so many years. And although it didn't work itself out in the romantic spectrum, it's worked itself out in probably the best way possible for what I need in my life - friendship and we work together. So from this perspective I did get what I wanted. It'll just never go to the next level ever, mostly because now at this stage, I don't actually want him that way.
And in truth, and this will probably seem really weird to everyone on here, this man was the love of my life at one point. It's certainly not a normal thing to be friends and close friends with someone who was the love of your life, right? Well, that's what I always thought too, it just didn't end up being a *normal* relationship. It just wasn't meant to be....
And the truth is, this could be another one of those situations where it's just not meant to be and we are just meant to be friends and that's it.
As for her saying she didn't know which way I'll choose, could very well be true, but the truth is, if too much shit happens with him in my life, it wouldn't even be a second thought in my head to leave him in the dust. I'm THAT cut throat. But at this stage apart from him just not being available, he's been a most fun part-time companion, always treats me with respect and like a lady and has never been mean, rude or anything like that towards me. A little bit cold the last time we saw each other, but that's it.
It's all up for interpretation, right?
