Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
For those no longer getting readings - how did you know you were done?
dascallie:
Great insights Russianred
russianred:
--- Quote from: mrrrrh22 on February 02, 2020, 07:53:26 AM ---some of the points you made really resonated with me! I find it hard to "let go" of the situation/your POI when you are continuing to get readings. and i found that the more frequently i get readings the more i am hyper-focused on the situation/POI. to me at least, i have to cut back significant ly to detach. I've mentioned in another thread on here, that one reader told me that the more readings i'm getting is actually effecting my own POI's energy and leaving him hanging. so in my experience, there is def truth to all this.
--- End quote ---
Yes, I like what you wrote about letting go. I wish it were something I could have forced more as I would have let go a long time ago to save myself a lot of frustration and money, but I think I had to arrive at my own conclusion. I was reading other threads on here and someone posted something about how a reader told her that being mentally "on hold" for someone (and I think many of us who call readers are in that boat) can feed into a "tense and frustrated space" that the POI then picks up on (I know mine has). Readings can further add to those emotions because they keep us in the emotional vortex of the situation. I also think that if I'm binging and a bunch of readers are trying to tap into POI's energy, that might just drain him further.
Letting go doesn't mean letting go of any hope. I'm still hopeful that things will work out. It means letting go of our need to control the situation and obtain a particular outcome. Letting go of my need to fully understand POI's actions. Letting go of trying to get the "magic insight" to help me "fix" him. For me, it also means being open to other possibiliti es and accepting that if POI can't prove himself deserving of me, then he is not the right one for me.
russianred:
I do think that in general, when men feel that you are genuinely (not pretending) slipping away, they will be more likely to respond and try to win you back. I believe I'm letting go for the right reasons -- for myself -- but of course a small part of me hopes that he will respond to this approach much better than the hovering and frustrated approach. :)
I also know exactly what you mean about how online dating is so draining and how the connection with POI feels pure and true compared to what you feel for others -- yet also not knowing whether a relationshi p would actually work given the limitations on what POI can offer to you due to his own circumstanc es.
JAG20:
I've been addicted to readings on and off for 8 or so years, what helped me to realize and come to my senses was to look at the situation I'm being shown, and the actions of the person, cuz often times a reader can come out with lovely comments you'd like to hear, but it didn't match up with her actions for me, and I have this deep realization gut feeling going on inside of me which perhaps I chose not to accept or face cuz of the pain of it. There's been a couple of times where readers gave info that turned out to be accurate such as cheating or third parties, but, they quite often missed the bigger picture
ES1281:
When I realized I m way happier when I m not expecting anything to happen.
When I realized happy present brings happy future.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version