Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
I think I understand why sometimes readings can change. (Myself as an example)
ladya:
That’s so sad. I felt from reading your situation her friends play a part in it. This happened in my last relationshi p. Way too many chefs in the kitchen and people always want to tell others how to lead their life but can’t manage their own. This is why now I don’t tell anyone my business. Outside influence can really destroy a good thing. Hopefully she realizes it and comes to her senses.
sparky:
--- Quote from: ladya on December 12, 2018, 03:07:48 PM ---That’s so sad. I felt from reading your situation her friends play a part in it. This happened in my last relationshi p. Way too many chefs in the kitchen and people always want to tell others how to lead their life but can’t manage their own. This is why now I don’t tell anyone my business. Outside influence can really destroy a good thing. Hopefully she realizes it and comes to her senses.
--- End quote ---
Yes they can. I think it is okay to get advice but there are somethings when it comes to a relationshi p that should only be discussed between your partner. This is her friends. I would randomly by my ex flowers. She was always happy about that and tell her friends. They would start to get upset with her anytime she mentioned I bought her flowers. They were jealous because their SO wouldn't do that for them. It was to the point that she didn't even want to share that she got flowers anymore with people. Her joy was gone about them.
So here is a nice thought regarding the destiny/free will. Out of all this what do you perceive as destiny or free will? You could say that my ex being friends with them could be destiny that she met them for a life changing event. To learn and grow from even though it separated us but the same destiny can bring us back together. Or do you think it was free will that she listened to them casing the break up? How is that to mess with your brain for a bit. :o
sparky:
--- Quote from: Still tired on December 13, 2018, 05:01:55 PM ---Sparky. You sound like a nice guy and I'm sorry you are going through this. But when someone threatens a restraining order, that's like an alarm bell going off telling you to wake up. Even if it was just other people around her manipulatin g things, and not what she truly wants or feels, that's a serious problem that does not bode well for a relationshi p.
She told you directly she is trying to move on, and you call that a stupid thing to say? Stupid in what way?
--- End quote ---
It is stupid because you should never tell your ex that. Why? 1) They already know that and you directly saying you are trying tells them you are still hung up on them months later. 2) If you are already in a new relationshi p, you should already be moved on. By not already moving on and going into another relationshi p. You are already jeopardizin g that new relationshi p. It makes that relationshi p more of a rebound whether you would go back to your ex or not. It means you have not evaluated what you did wrong in a relationshi p and fixed that before a new one. So you will repeat all the same mistakes. That isn't fair to the new person you are dating either because you really are not fully invested.
KotaSwan:
--- Quote from: sparky on December 12, 2018, 11:35:07 AM ---
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on December 12, 2018, 07:42:53 AM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on December 12, 2018, 07:31:08 AM ---
--- Quote from: jhuskindle on December 12, 2018, 07:04:16 AM ---For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationshi ps (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
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Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartment s. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
--- End quote ---
^^^^ THIS! 100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand. Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well. When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work! We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry that needs folded, all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings. It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationshi ps quicker than men. And explains why they come back sometimes years later!
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on December 12, 2018, 07:52:56 AM ---this is true...men can't multitask for crap. LOL
--- End quote ---
I can multi-ta.... wait what was I doing just now? ;D
Joking aside I actually can multi-task just fine. The key I found is balance though if I really need to focus on something I will shift on only that. Though like LAW said we will bury feelings. I will do that but I can tell you one thing. When I find that one special person that I want to spend the rest of my life with I don't bury anything. I am completely open with them and it takes a lot for a guy to get there for someone. Because since we compartment alize everything that when one section gets destroyed. It is hard for that hole to replace. So feelings get extra protected. That is also why it is hard for us to move on.
I want to say something on destiny vs free will. I am indifferent on the topic and can see both points but here is something to make you ponder about destiny. In destiny that actually would include your "free will" choices. Free will is just an illusion in destiny because guess what. In destiny, it was already determined you would make that choice. Yes you might think you had the choice but really you didn't. It was all planned out for you long before you even realized. Going to use this scene from one of the Matrix movies to explain it a bit better I think. As they actually had a similiar discuss regarding free will or choice.
https://youtu.be/dij287EZT50
Basically he is saying that you just have to think that you have a choice but really the choice was already made before you got there. Which in turn is destiny.
--- End quote ---
That's a great point. I couldn't agree more :) Thank you for sharing it
star1:
--- Quote from: sparky on December 12, 2018, 03:47:22 PM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on December 12, 2018, 03:07:48 PM ---That’s so sad. I felt from reading your situation her friends play a part in it. This happened in my last relationshi p. Way too many chefs in the kitchen and people always want to tell others how to lead their life but can’t manage their own. This is why now I don’t tell anyone my business. Outside influence can really destroy a good thing. Hopefully she realizes it and comes to her senses.
--- End quote ---
Yes they can. I think it is okay to get advice but there are somethings when it comes to a relationshi p that should only be discussed between your partner. This is her friends. I would randomly by my ex flowers. She was always happy about that and tell her friends. They would start to get upset with her anytime she mentioned I bought her flowers. They were jealous because their SO wouldn't do that for them. It was to the point that she didn't even want to share that she got flowers anymore with people. Her joy was gone about them. Same friends also would go to marriage counseling but behind the guys back go on dates with guys from match. Such a nice message to be sending to anyone. Another who was engaged called off the engagement and then went and had sex with two random guys the following week. She ended up going back to her fiancé two months later and then got married last September. When we broke up the first time. My ex did try dating to see if I was the one. She told me this story when we got back together and how horrible she felt. A guy ended up going to her place. They were making out and he was trying to get into her pants. All my ex was thinking at the time was what if I walked in at that moment since I still had a key for her place. She told her friends that worry. Their response: "If any guy did that regardless if he had a key I would get a restraining order." So you know what I am dealing with but the good news is the last two look to be no longer friends with my ex.
So here is a nice thought regarding the destiny/free will. Out of all this what do you perceive as destiny or free will? You could say that my ex being friends with them could be destiny that she met them for a life changing event. To learn and grow from even though it separated us but the same destiny can bring us back together. Or do you think it was free will that she listened to them casing the break up? How is that to mess with your brain for a bit. :o
--- End quote ---
Sparky with the greatest of respect to your POI, that's a very bizarre statement to make RE the restraining order. It's just something really odd to say. I also would agree that that flower business is unhealthy and immature. Her friends got jealous and so they put her off of receiving flowers from you. If they're behaving like that with flowers, imagine how they're like with other areas? Most people have to worry about a 3rd party woman/man around your POI, you'd have to worry about her friends at the very least. As Still Tired said, you are a lovely guy on here and especially buying her flowers and being really romantic with her, she's lucky to have you interested!
With regards to free will and destiny, I think your previous post was quite good on how our decisions (even last minute) are destined. I've just had an instance within the last few days where I wanted to contact someone but didn't and left it and he wanted to contact me but he was feeling the same thoughts and told me he was thinking "what if she's not interested/she tells me to go away/ignores me", then he decided last minute to contact me and I was so glad he did message me because I really wanted to contact but not make the first move. So his decision was meant to be. That's why I don't believe my ex cares for me because he's had a very long time to contact me and he hasn't, lol. I believe that everything is meant to be. Every decision you make isn't coincidence, I firmly believe that everything is meant.
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