Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
I think I understand why sometimes readings can change. (Myself as an example)
star1:
--- Quote from: ladya on December 12, 2018, 08:07:50 AM ---
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on December 12, 2018, 07:42:53 AM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on December 12, 2018, 07:31:08 AM ---
--- Quote from: jhuskindle on December 12, 2018, 07:04:16 AM ---For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationshi ps (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
--- End quote ---
Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartment s. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
--- End quote ---
^^^^ THIS! 100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand. Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well. When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work! We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings. It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationshi ps quicker than men. And explains why they come back sometimes years later!
--- End quote ---
Yup this is also why when a woman’s upset, it affects all areas of her life. Which is not always good. Men can turn it off. I know this type oh too well because I Have a love/hate relationshi p with alpha males hahah. I’ve tried the more emotional feminine ones but I just can’t do it. Too needy and I feel suffocated. They don’t even get my lady parts excited lmfao. Maybe this is how men feel about us lmfao. I like some independenc e so I can understand when they need to do their own thing. I have never met a dude who multitasks well. One thing is always at the forefront.
--- End quote ---
LOL.
ladya:
AMENNN
sparky:
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on December 12, 2018, 07:42:53 AM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on December 12, 2018, 07:31:08 AM ---
--- Quote from: jhuskindle on December 12, 2018, 07:04:16 AM ---For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationshi ps (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
--- End quote ---
Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartment s. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
--- End quote ---
^^^^ THIS! 100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand. Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well. When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work! We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry that needs folded, all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings. It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationshi ps quicker than men. And explains why they come back sometimes years later!
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on December 12, 2018, 07:52:56 AM ---this is true...men can't multitask for crap. LOL
--- End quote ---
I can multi-ta.... wait what was I doing just now? ;D
Joking aside I actually can multi-task just fine. The key I found is balance though if I really need to focus on something I will shift on only that. Though like LAW said we will bury feelings. I will do that but I can tell you one thing. When I find that one special person that I want to spend the rest of my life with I don't bury anything. I am completely open with them and it takes a lot for a guy to get there for someone. Because since we compartment alize everything that when one section gets destroyed. It is hard for that hole to replace. So feelings get extra protected. That is also why it is hard for us to move on.
I want to say something on destiny vs free will. I am indifferent on the topic and can see both points but here is something to make you ponder about destiny. In destiny that actually would include your "free will" choices. Free will is just an illusion in destiny because guess what. In destiny, it was already determined you would make that choice. Yes you might think you had the choice but really you didn't. It was all planned out for you long before you even realized. Going to use this scene from one of the Matrix movies to explain it a bit better I think. As they actually had a similiar discuss regarding free will or choice.
https://youtu.be/dij287EZT50
Basically he is saying that you just have to think that you have a choice but really the choice was already made before you got there. Which in turn is destiny.
star1:
--- Quote from: sparky on December 12, 2018, 11:35:07 AM ---
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on December 12, 2018, 07:42:53 AM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on December 12, 2018, 07:31:08 AM ---
--- Quote from: jhuskindle on December 12, 2018, 07:04:16 AM ---For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationshi ps (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
--- End quote ---
Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartment s. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
--- End quote ---
^^^^ THIS! 100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand. Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well. When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work! We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry that needs folded, all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings. It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationshi ps quicker than men. And explains why they come back sometimes years later!
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on December 12, 2018, 07:52:56 AM ---this is true...men can't multitask for crap. LOL
--- End quote ---
I can multi-ta.... wait what was I doing just now? ;D
Joking aside I actually can multi-task just fine. The key I found is balance though if I really need to focus on something I will shift on only that. Though like LAW said we will bury feelings. I will do that but I can tell you one thing. When I find that one special person that I want to spend the rest of my life with I don't bury anything. I am completely open with them and it takes a lot for a guy to get there for someone. Because since we compartment alize everything that when one section gets destroyed. It is hard for that hole to replace. So feelings get extra protected. That is also why it is hard for us to move on.
I want to say something on destiny vs free will. I am indifferent on the topic and can see both points but here is something to make you ponder about destiny. In destiny that actually would include your "free will" choices. Free will is just an illusion in destiny because guess what. In destiny, it was already determined you would make that choice. Yes you might think you had the choice but really you didn't. It was all planned out for you long before you even realized. Going to use this scene from one of the Matrix movies to explain it a bit better I think. As they actually had a similiar discuss regarding free will or choice.
https://youtu.be/dij287EZT50
Basically he is saying that you just have to think that you have a choice but really the choice was already made before you got there. Which in turn is destiny.
--- End quote ---
Such a good point.
icloud9:
Thanks to all of you, I really appreciate your feedback and also support...
It's so true that men don't know how to multi-task, for the most part...I feel like they like to focus on one thing at a time...and when they're stressed, instead of communicati ng those "feelings", they just shut it down and keep themselves even busier.
I also feel like it's even worse when they have a crazy ex still around...it's like that ex reminds you of what exactly it's like to have a relationshi p with somebody (EXTRA STRESS).
Men don't really THINK ABOUT their feelings, do they lol. I mean, I thought about these feelings that I've been feeling all day today and I realize that I really don't want to go back to my ex. I love him but i don't love him like "that."
I thought about what it is that I'm feeling (because unlike men we women know how to dissect our feelings LOL) and it's just that I'm really just ready to "settle down." I want stability. I want to start a family and I want to have kids before my biological clock shuts off (and I'm SO close lol).
My ex is a millionaire . I know that If I settled with him I would never have any issues as far as financial security... He would provide me with a good life. We can travel together. Not that I can't do these things now - traveling, having financial security etc, because I make a good living also, but my income is not passive like his is, so I'm still as busy as a bee and I don't really have much time to live the luxurious life like he is able to.
BUT....I don't feel emotionally "connected" to him at all anymore... I cant even tell if this is because of the broken trust or because I have literally grown out of him, because let me tell you- I used to be so IN LOVE with him. SO MADLY in love. The same reason why I gave him a second chance when he first cheated on me lol. So imagine what kind of damage it was done to me when he cheated on me.
BUT, I am rational. I don't want to choose someone just because I want to 'settle down'. I want to choose someone because I LOVE THEM so much (which in this case, it's my current POI).
I feel like If I got married to my ex, eventually down the line I would start thinking about the "what if' and become miserable. "Oh what if I had waited for my POI , then we would be together right now" - I dont want to have a single doubt like this when I'm actually married to somebody.
BUT here is also another thing- I heard that women are usually happier when we pick someone who loves us more than we love them. It's so clear that my ex is deeply in love with me....I'm not saying that my POI isn't...but he is in a hermit mode right now and he isn't "showing" it to me...and I'm thinking... well where is the guarnatee that my current POI will be truly READY? at the time that I would want him to? and before my biological clock runs out lol.
According to my trusted advisor, apparently this period is going to last until January... I have no problem being patient, but I also can't seem to control my growing curiosity of the "what if" scenario with my EX.
You guys see how conflicted I am right now? I feel like I don't even make sense. Sorry for all of this, I just needed to vent lol.
And @Sparky I love what you said about free will and destiny.
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