Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
Shaman kiri
ShootingStar:
--- Quote from: Silverlightnmoom on January 08, 2019, 12:26:45 PM ---I just read with Kira - she def is psychic! She picked up what happened with my boyfriend right away. She gave a timeline for a resolution but we will see as I’m hoping it will be earlier than that. But she’s real y’all!!
--- End quote ---
That is awesome!! Glad she worked so well for you too!
HornetKick:
--- Quote from: star1 on January 08, 2019, 10:50:56 AM ---I think that they know to a degree what they're doing. They don't care about anyone really, it's about ego boosting and getting what they want. From my experience of narcs, they like seeing you hurt and find a way to punish you. It could be something you did yesterday or 5 years ago. They cannot feel empathy which is why they are who they are. Normal people would hurt someone and something in their brain says "that's wrong! You hurt them!".
Do you remember about 2 weeks ago you posted about your friend who's bf manipulated her into skipping her exams to go to something with her and when she got bad grades she moaned to him and he twisted it onto her "I didn't force you to skip it, you were the one who did this and that"? They know what they're doing, they're very smarmy about it, too. It's evil and wicked. They know "if I contact so and so, she's there waiting for me and will help me out. Stupid b-ch", and they will come after you and get what they want, then drop you instantly. They love you until they get what they want "I love her so much for helping me with money, I love that money. But am I in love with her? Hell no. Time to drop her. I got what I wanted".
--- End quote ---
This is even worse IMHO, when someone hurts you on purpose and continues to do it and also enjoys it at the same time. You really can't change a person by showering them with kindness (another thread that was mentioned recently). They aren't capable of living by other people's examples. That girl you mentioned, I no longer speak to her. We ended up moving into the same subdivision, that's how close we were and then she moved and we went our separate ways. She could never see the things I was pointing out to her and I even mentioned how her mother came to town to help her as well and that fell on deaf ears. Even with all his dysfunctions she told me once that she knows he loved her more than any other person on the planet (found out after the fact he was still married). Her family could not stand him.
ladya:
--- Quote from: icloud9 on January 08, 2019, 12:08:13 PM ---
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on January 08, 2019, 10:09:56 AM ---
--- Quote from: ShootingStar on January 08, 2019, 09:42:48 AM ---I am so sorry that is the case with him. My dad is a narcissist so I understand the idea of someone not really loving you but just wanting you to be available to them in whatever way. I am really impressed that sK picked this up and how honest she was about it. Especially since it is what you believe in your gut to be true and resonates as true to you. Though it really sucks that is how things are, it’s refreshing to know she really does just tell you the truth. It definitely makes me trust her more. It doesn’t do you any favors for other readers to lead you to believe there are more feelings than there are! You should be given all the information so you can make an informed decision for how to live your life and be able to move on.
--- End quote ---
I'm sorry that your own dad is a narcissist. That's gotta be really really tough. I do feel like narcissists are capable of having feelings for people, even love. BUT, the way they love isn't healthy and it's always self serving. It's the old "I love you if........." thing. It's a selfish type of love and I believe they don't really know how to love someone outside of their own selves. But I do feel they are capable and probably do have feelings but don't know how to show it, what to do with it, how to behave, how to get outside of themselves, how to self reflect, how to change, how to humble themselves and honestly, I think most of that is out of fear. Fear of being "weak" or vulnerable. Narcs have low self esteem and no sense of self which is why they drain everyone else in an attempt to seek that out and feel "fulfilled" and "whole". Chances are, narcs are narcs because as children they were either OVERLY spoiled or completely neglected left to fend for themselves and so they were taught from a young age to only look out for themselves and therefore, they have no idea how to look out for someone else or what it even means to do so. I do believe narcs can change and can be helped but ONLY with some seriously thorough psychotherapy for a long period of time.
Yeah Shaman Kira kept it real. I appreciated that and felt everything she said was completely true. It didn't hurt me when she said it either. It would have years ago, but I didn't feel anything. I giggled to myself already knowing dude has issues. I actually feel sorry for him to some extent. I wish dude wasn't a narc but it is what it is and it's a blessing that things are the way they are at this time. I'm just waitin for this new guy to come in that everyone keeps seeing appear in April. Hopefully he isn't a narc too. LOL
--- End quote ---
I actually think my ex fiance is a narc. There is no way he could have actually truly loved me if he cheated on me twice during the relationship. And made me actually completely believe him when he said it was a "mistake." It also feels like he was trying to over compensate with material things with me... He has told me many times that he loves me but it's definitely not the love that I feel is genuine and authentic; especially not the kind of love I DESERVE, which is unconditional and PURE love. Like you said, it feels self-serving. While I do believe him when he says he loves me I believe he loved me for the validation I gave him. (I was that one that him and all of his friends wanted; but he GOT me. So in a way I give him the "winner" status)
Although I love him dearly as a person and I care for him, I am glad I called off the wedding. It's hilarious how he is still around and asking me to give him ANOTHER chance I in a way feel like it's a game for him because IMO narcissists enjoy the chase because it's a form of validation for them if they DO get what they were going after. I didn't want to be his wife just to be his status symbol.. I want a man who I can truly share LOVE with. I couldn't give two sh*ts about his millionaire status. He always puts my POI down (my ex and I are friends so we do keep in touch) whenever he gets a chance... and tells me that I deserve "better" (referring to himself) like he completely dismisses the fact that he cheated on me.
I tell him my POI makes me very happy....THe ex seems to completely disregard that? I wonder if he knows what makes me trly happy?????? whatever. He's a fun person, so I will keep him as a friend, but i will NOT believe a word he says when it comes to wanting another chance with me!!
THere was a little bit of a moment I had during the holidays where I felt a little distance with my POI and I was leaning towards my ex a little (was getting manipulated once again!! Lol) but I snapped out of it! haha. NOT TODAY SATAN! lol
--- End quote ---
narcissists are not capable of feeling love. maybe .01% but not really. maybe people with narc tendencies but actual narcs don't. real narcissists is like one step above a sociopath. general lack of empathy but can have potential to compared to sociopaths. I feel like narc is like a term thrown around by psychics just like twin flame is and has become popularized in recent years. if the person has the capability of feeling any empathy toward other people then they are not a narcissist. if they have capacity to feel bad for their actions, theyre not narcs. that's the most important thing to teach kids growing up is empathy because narcissism is mainly nurtured vs nature and comes from the way they were raised. they're extremely hollow on the inside and feel off validation from others. the chances of a narcissist changing are slim to none because they rarely ever get to that level of admitting they're a narc in the first place. they deflect everything and will somehow never take accountability for their actions and if they ever apologize its an underhanded apology. there's a lot of people that can have traits or resemblance of it but not actually be it. they can simply just be pompous, arrogant, and spoiled lol there are some narcs that can feel slightly bad but its only usually toward their family mostly not anyone else. covert narcs are more scary because theyre not as easy to spot as the typical ones. theyre more passive aggressive and victimize themselves.
star1:
--- Quote from: ladya on January 08, 2019, 02:15:28 PM ---
--- Quote from: icloud9 on January 08, 2019, 12:08:13 PM ---
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on January 08, 2019, 10:09:56 AM ---
--- Quote from: ShootingStar on January 08, 2019, 09:42:48 AM ---I am so sorry that is the case with him. My dad is a narcissist so I understand the idea of someone not really loving you but just wanting you to be available to them in whatever way. I am really impressed that sK picked this up and how honest she was about it. Especially since it is what you believe in your gut to be true and resonates as true to you. Though it really sucks that is how things are, it’s refreshing to know she really does just tell you the truth. It definitely makes me trust her more. It doesn’t do you any favors for other readers to lead you to believe there are more feelings than there are! You should be given all the information so you can make an informed decision for how to live your life and be able to move on.
--- End quote ---
I'm sorry that your own dad is a narcissist. That's gotta be really really tough. I do feel like narcissists are capable of having feelings for people, even love. BUT, the way they love isn't healthy and it's always self serving. It's the old "I love you if........." thing. It's a selfish type of love and I believe they don't really know how to love someone outside of their own selves. But I do feel they are capable and probably do have feelings but don't know how to show it, what to do with it, how to behave, how to get outside of themselves, how to self reflect, how to change, how to humble themselves and honestly, I think most of that is out of fear. Fear of being "weak" or vulnerable. Narcs have low self esteem and no sense of self which is why they drain everyone else in an attempt to seek that out and feel "fulfilled" and "whole". Chances are, narcs are narcs because as children they were either OVERLY spoiled or completely neglected left to fend for themselves and so they were taught from a young age to only look out for themselves and therefore, they have no idea how to look out for someone else or what it even means to do so. I do believe narcs can change and can be helped but ONLY with some seriously thorough psychotherapy for a long period of time.
Yeah Shaman Kira kept it real. I appreciated that and felt everything she said was completely true. It didn't hurt me when she said it either. It would have years ago, but I didn't feel anything. I giggled to myself already knowing dude has issues. I actually feel sorry for him to some extent. I wish dude wasn't a narc but it is what it is and it's a blessing that things are the way they are at this time. I'm just waitin for this new guy to come in that everyone keeps seeing appear in April. Hopefully he isn't a narc too. LOL
--- End quote ---
I actually think my ex fiance is a narc. There is no way he could have actually truly loved me if he cheated on me twice during the relationship. And made me actually completely believe him when he said it was a "mistake." It also feels like he was trying to over compensate with material things with me... He has told me many times that he loves me but it's definitely not the love that I feel is genuine and authentic; especially not the kind of love I DESERVE, which is unconditional and PURE love. Like you said, it feels self-serving. While I do believe him when he says he loves me I believe he loved me for the validation I gave him. (I was that one that him and all of his friends wanted; but he GOT me. So in a way I give him the "winner" status)
Although I love him dearly as a person and I care for him, I am glad I called off the wedding. It's hilarious how he is still around and asking me to give him ANOTHER chance I in a way feel like it's a game for him because IMO narcissists enjoy the chase because it's a form of validation for them if they DO get what they were going after. I didn't want to be his wife just to be his status symbol.. I want a man who I can truly share LOVE with. I couldn't give two sh*ts about his millionaire status. He always puts my POI down (my ex and I are friends so we do keep in touch) whenever he gets a chance... and tells me that I deserve "better" (referring to himself) like he completely dismisses the fact that he cheated on me.
I tell him my POI makes me very happy....THe ex seems to completely disregard that? I wonder if he knows what makes me trly happy?????? whatever. He's a fun person, so I will keep him as a friend, but i will NOT believe a word he says when it comes to wanting another chance with me!!
THere was a little bit of a moment I had during the holidays where I felt a little distance with my POI and I was leaning towards my ex a little (was getting manipulated once again!! Lol) but I snapped out of it! haha. NOT TODAY SATAN! lol
--- End quote ---
narcissists are not capable of feeling love. maybe .01% but not really. maybe people with narc tendencies but actual narcs don't. real narcissists is like one step above a sociopath. general lack of empathy but can have potential to compared to sociopaths. I feel like narc is like a term thrown around by psychics just like twin flame is and has become popularized in recent years. if the person has the capability of feeling any empathy toward other people then they are not a narcissist. if they have capacity to feel bad for their actions, theyre not narcs. that's the most important thing to teach kids growing up is empathy because narcissism is mainly nurtured vs nature and comes from the way they were raised. they're extremely hollow on the inside and feel off validation from others. the chances of a narcissist changing are slim to none because they rarely ever get to that level of admitting they're a narc in the first place. they deflect everything and will somehow never take accountability for their actions and if they ever apologize its an underhanded apology. there's a lot of people that can have traits or resemblance of it but not actually be it. they can simply just be pompous, arrogant, and spoiled lol there are some narcs that can feel slightly bad but its only usually toward their family mostly not anyone else. covert narcs are more scary because theyre not as easy to spot as the typical ones. theyre more passive aggressive and victimize themselves.
--- End quote ---
This ^^
star1:
--- Quote from: HornetKick on January 08, 2019, 01:08:51 PM ---
--- Quote from: star1 on January 08, 2019, 10:50:56 AM ---I think that they know to a degree what they're doing. They don't care about anyone really, it's about ego boosting and getting what they want. From my experience of narcs, they like seeing you hurt and find a way to punish you. It could be something you did yesterday or 5 years ago. They cannot feel empathy which is why they are who they are. Normal people would hurt someone and something in their brain says "that's wrong! You hurt them!".
Do you remember about 2 weeks ago you posted about your friend who's bf manipulated her into skipping her exams to go to something with her and when she got bad grades she moaned to him and he twisted it onto her "I didn't force you to skip it, you were the one who did this and that"? They know what they're doing, they're very smarmy about it, too. It's evil and wicked. They know "if I contact so and so, she's there waiting for me and will help me out. Stupid b-ch", and they will come after you and get what they want, then drop you instantly. They love you until they get what they want "I love her so much for helping me with money, I love that money. But am I in love with her? Hell no. Time to drop her. I got what I wanted".
--- End quote ---
This is even worse IMHO, when someone hurts you on purpose and continues to do it and also enjoys it at the same time. You really can't change a person by showering them with kindness (another thread that was mentioned recently). They aren't capable of living by other people's examples. That girl you mentioned, I no longer speak to her. We ended up moving into the same subdivision, that's how close we were and then she moved and we went our separate ways. She could never see the things I was pointing out to her and I even mentioned how her mother came to town to help her as well and that fell on deaf ears. Even with all his dysfunctions she told me once that she knows he loved her more than any other person on the planet (found out after the fact he was still married). Her family could not stand him.
--- End quote ---
I used to be like your friend once, picture a dog with it's tongue out jumping through hoops for it's owner, lol. In the end, you love them so much you'd do anything for the narc. It's like they're hypnotising you and literally like a vampire sucking out all of your vulnerability when everyone around you has given up and walked away (which is what the narc loves best, is when your support networks have gone).
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