Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
THE END
Sparkle002:
--- Quote from: Cteebaby1 on January 26, 2020, 10:52:31 AM ---I don’t think it’s that bad really . I think he was enjoying your company and taking advantage of the fact he could as an employee or whatever the case is. He said you were beautiful and yes he might’ve wanted that one on once time albeit. The only part I don’t like was that he said “you know I’m married” well should that be the first thing you bring up on lunch with a woman you find attractive lol. Like how are you suppose to know
--- End quote ---
TOTALLY AGREE! This situation was really not that negative and as far as I know - even at work with people who know him, he is a GOOD GUY...I just caught him off gaurd lmao...he probably didnt even know how to handle himself lol
RIGHT - when he brought that up remember he said he thought I already knew, he said everyone at work knows...so well I could see that...alot of men are married at my job...and some I know are married without me having interacted with them.
But again, what he takes fault for was the excess flirting for sure!
HornetKick:
--- Quote from: Sparkle002 on January 26, 2020, 10:30:38 AM ---
I can super analyze my way out of a relationshi p its so sad...lol I literally have to go through check boxes in my head to determine if the person is "fit" for the long term, in the meanwhile Ill just play (even though I may have feelings with them, knowing it wont be long term).
It says we are "clueless in relationshi ps" lol ....while that may not be everyone it definitely is ME HA!
HEY FELLOW INTJ!!! WE ARE SO RARE! ;D
But I TOTALLY agree with you, being that Im almost 40 Ive seen and heard it all with the married men thing and their relationshi ps being an issue.
Ive never dated a married man like ever it totally goes against my standards! For example, thats why it was SO important for my POI 1 (the original guy in this thread) to confirm that he was not married and the woman had moved out lol.
I totally get it though. HOWEVER Im super scared to be honest, like Chemistry is a MF'er. I dont know what to do with it because its strong and it will take willpower to control (I belive on both sides) - I hate this!! UGH. Yeah and even if he is going through a divorce it isnt the optimal time for "dating" anyway sheesh - I just wonder whhhhhyy Im always sent men (whom I have chemistry with) that are UNAVAILABLE UGH.
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Yes, most of this is me too, although I didn't entirely date a married man, we flirted a lot and talked almost every day that at some point, you may not care because it is soooooo much fun and new, and daring and makes you wake up in the mornings, etc....find ing good and exciting chemistry is rare, where you'll eventually be like awww f! it, I'm in. Most fuckers just won't get what drives us. I ended up breaking all contact with the guy, his wife and two children too.
I haven't read all of the makeup for an Architect yet, but whoa I'm very intrigued.
Sparkle002:
--- Quote from: HornetKick on January 26, 2020, 12:44:48 PM ---
--- Quote from: Sparkle002 on January 26, 2020, 10:30:38 AM ---
I can super analyze my way out of a relationshi p its so sad...lol I literally have to go through check boxes in my head to determine if the person is "fit" for the long term, in the meanwhile Ill just play (even though I may have feelings with them, knowing it wont be long term).
It says we are "clueless in relationshi ps" lol ....while that may not be everyone it definitely is ME HA!
HEY FELLOW INTJ!!! WE ARE SO RARE! ;D
But I TOTALLY agree with you, being that Im almost 40 Ive seen and heard it all with the married men thing and their relationshi ps being an issue.
Ive never dated a married man like ever it totally goes against my standards! For example, thats why it was SO important for my POI 1 (the original guy in this thread) to confirm that he was not married and the woman had moved out lol.
I totally get it though. HOWEVER Im super scared to be honest, like Chemistry is a MF'er. I dont know what to do with it because its strong and it will take willpower to control (I belive on both sides) - I hate this!! UGH. Yeah and even if he is going through a divorce it isnt the optimal time for "dating" anyway sheesh - I just wonder whhhhhyy Im always sent men (whom I have chemistry with) that are UNAVAILABLE UGH.
--- End quote ---
Yes, most of this is me too, although I didn't entirely date a married man, we flirted a lot and talked almost every day that at some point, you may not care because it is soooooo much fun and new, and daring and makes you wake up in the mornings, etc....find ing good and exciting chemistry is rare, where you'll eventually be like awww f! it, I'm in. Most fuckers just won't get what drives us. I ended up breaking all contact with the guy, his wife and two children too.
I haven't read all of the makeup for an Architect yet, but whoa I'm very intrigued.
--- End quote ---
Omg I totally feel this will be me that’s why I’m not phased lmao!!! We get us! Lol
Zipocal:
So as a male defender (i took that test years ago) I'd have to say he is most likely having serious issues in his marriage. It takes a lot for defenders to act on relationshi ps. Lots of guilt, bargaining, and may even go back, etc. But once I've gotten to that point, I usually realized afterwards that the relationshi p wasn't what I wanted. It just takes a while to get there and a lot to even consider a new relationshi p or flirting etc.
giftsdiff:
--- Quote from: Zipocal on January 26, 2020, 04:12:01 PM ---So as a male defender (i took that test years ago) I'd have to say he is most likely having serious issues in his marriage. It takes a lot for defenders to act on relationshi ps. Lots of guilt, bargaining, and may even go back, etc. But once I've gotten to that point, I usually realized afterwards that the relationshi p wasn't what I wanted. It just takes a while to get there and a lot to even consider a new relationshi p or flirting etc.
--- End quote ---
THIS. So much THIS. I was going to say that a married ISFJ isn't going to accidentall y flirt. And if he's in a good relationshi p, the conversatio n at lunch would have revolved around his wife and kids.
If the test results are correct (and it's possible that they are not), I wouldn't lose a ton of sleep over not romanticall y exploring the connection. The INTJ is probably the rarest female type (INFJ for males) and, long-term, INTJ and ISFJ might not be the easiest match. But of course it depends on the individuals, and you've already stated that you feel there was a ton of chemistry for you guys. So maybe you're the exception to the rule.
But ISFJ are usually really sweet guys and make great friends.
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