Feeling anxious

[allibai3]

This morning I woke up feeling like I was in a dream, even though I haven't talked to my ex in two months it feels like it has been longer than that. Each and everyday I am starting to lose hope. I wish I didn't cut things off with him but honestly I was just so scared that he was going to break up with me again. I couldn't help but to panic so I told him that we needed time apart so that he can figure out what he really wants. I've gotten very mixed outcomes from various readers i.e he will be back and we be together, he's going to come back but we won't be together, he wants but not a relationship or he wants to contact you but he is fighting himself so hes being wishy washy. Honestly, I feeling really anxious  to the point I just want to contact him but then I think what's the point he probably has not decided what he wants to do or maybe I will change the outcome so I live my life yet also waiting for him. I honestly don't know what to do.

[Sooshi]

So you've been completely no contact with him for two months now?

[allibai3]

So you've been completely no contact with him for two months now?

Yeah 😔

[tired of it all]

I wish I didn't cut things off with him but honestly I was just so scared that he was going to break up with me again. I couldn't help but to panic so I told him that we needed time apart so that he can figure out what he really wants.

This sounds so familiar.  My ex kept panicking and saying maybe we should just be friends and shutting me out.  I was afraid he would shut me out permanently.  Then one day I just said "I can't do this anymore" and everything fell apart from there.  I didn't mean to end things but I guess he took it that way and so then he really did shut me out.  I regretted it and wish I had done things differently but I feel kind of like the outcome was inevitable.  And seeing how he has acted since then I think he just wasn't ready to love me or be with me and it wouldn't have been good if we had gotten together.

This morning I woke up feeling like I was in a dream, even though I haven't talked to my ex in two months it feels like it has been longer than that.

I get the feeling you had some sort of communication with him in dream-time and/or you probably looked ahead at the future and that's why it feels like it has been longer. 

Please read my thread titled "don't give up hope," there is a rare Black Moon transit happening now until June 26 that can stir up our worst fears and make us lose hope.  Things are not what they seem to be right now.  This may not be the best time to do anything, other than work through what you are feeling.  *hugs*
 

[bluebelle]

Guy I was calling psychics about basically told me last night that we had no future...sad part is I'm not even that upset...kind of expect to be hurt by him.....don't have any intention on ever talking to him again...he's a total jerk..

[tired of it all]

Sorry to hear that bluebelle.    But I'm glad for you that you're not that upset.  Sometimes it is a blessing when we don't end up together with these guys. 

[bluebelle]

Sorry to hear that bluebelle.    But I'm glad for you that you're not that upset.  Sometimes it is a blessing when we don't end up together with these guys.

AGREED

[allibai3]

Guy I was calling psychics about basically told me last night that we had no future...sad part is I'm not even that upset...kind of expect to be hurt by him.....don't have any intention on ever talking to him again...he's a total jerk..

Omg I am so sorry to hear that bluebelle. Gosh that's just horrible of him. He sounds like an ass.
Did anyone predict that he will say that?

[bluebelle]

Guy I was calling psychics about basically told me last night that we had no future...sad part is I'm not even that upset...kind of expect to be hurt by him.....don't have any intention on ever talking to him again...he's a total jerk..

Omg I am so sorry to hear that bluebelle. Gosh that's just horrible of him. He sounds like an ass.
Did anyone predict that he will say that?

Just that he's afraid of the connection etc....not ready....u know all the stereotypical things they say

[allibai3]

smh , I'm really sorry about what's happening. On the bright side your not in limbo anymore.If you need someone to talk to you can pm me.

[bluebelle]

smh , I'm really sorry about what's happening. On the bright side your not in limbo anymore.If you need someone to talk to you can pm me.

Aww that's sweet thanks!! Hugs..

[allibai3]

I feel all your anxieties... Mostly cause I'm all up in mine.

I'm so sorry bluebelle! A deep hug!

I have been talking to my guy and we are planning on seeing each other soon. But we're long distance. He said he can't wait to see me and so I offered some dates and he hasn't gotten back to me since yesterday (which is nothing). Yet, I feel anxious! Crazy anxious! I ask myself what I feel anxious about...

I feel anxious because I'm afraid of him not giving me the same amount of effort I have put in. I'm afraid of being vulnerable with him again and him rejecting me, or not having the courage to tell me so- and so I'm unsafely giving my little inner me away.

Truthfully, knowing yourself is better. Knowing what you want and need and what you will tolerate and setting a strong boundary- is so loving! I feel like I'm living on little string cheeses of sortas... And possibilities. And now I feel like I'm playing game with him which the rules are I can't bring up the status of relationship and I have to accept it as casual. And this breaks my heart, because It builds unworthy. I feel pretty strongly he isn't seeing anyone else- but I always worry that he will.

Losing hope on a relationship is probably healthy. Knowing you can love yourself enough to walk away at least builds integrity and worth. Except you do not any of that while you're living it. If you do contact him, it may feel good, but not as good as if he were to reach out and do it on his own. And validation of his love comes in such small pieces... Reminding yourself why you broke up is helpful. Another warm hugs!

I definitely agree with what you said fluttershy. When you reach out and he answers your happy but then you start to question if he truly loves you or how it would have been like if he reached out first.