The Psychic Reviews
Relationship Psychology Discussions => The Vent => Topic started by: Girly1998 on July 13, 2019, 03:37:00 PM
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I feel like most people get readings during difficult times involving love. For those of you who have went through terrible breakups, were you able to get them back?
Did you listen to psychics who always tell you not to make first contact even when your POI has no reason to believe you want to talk to them? How did you do it?
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Every single one of my exes has come back no matter how terrible the break up was. I only listen to their advice if it aligns with what I feel or should do. I can forgive myself for the mistakes I make but I’d have a hard time forgiving myself if I didn’t listen to myself and listened to others. Always have been that way. when my ex and I broke up SO MANY PEOPLE told me I was crazy he moved on etc etc and I’m like no it’s a lie I feel it. He came back and said everything I knew to be true that I felt the entire time. I even had dreams where he would tell me things. Always listen to yourself. I didn’t want him by the time he came back but when Love is there anything is salvageable. You just have to be able to put the past to rest and start anew. I’m a big believer in real love and I’m a realist and very practical person but when love is still there between 2 people anything is possible. I’ve seen it happen time and time again.
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I feel like most people get readings during difficult times involving love. For those of you who have went through terrible breakups, were you able to get them back?
Did you listen to psychics who always tell you not to make first contact even when your POI has no reason to believe you want to talk to them? How did you do it?
I made first contact a few times, but not because a psychic told me to, just because I felt drawn to do it. It didn't lead to reconciliation, but I always got a positive reply. Go with your gut is my advice.
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My gut has been telling me if I leave this man alone long enough and let him go through whatever he’s going through... that what was there between us once was actually real enough and strong enough that he will eventually at least reach out to me again.
Problem is that I admit it seems so ridiculously illogical and I keep telling myself to see the reality that he’s with someone else now and don’t ignore that and live in la-la land.
I’m just constantly in conflict.
But I think I’m finding I can make more steps to “move forward” while still believing this to be true. That I really have to “move forward” for my own well being even if my gut is right. I could be totally totally off base and letting my ego cloud my intuition.
And to the question in the post. Yes. Definitely. My ex husband and I reconnected after not seeing each other for 12 years and I still was in love with him and we rekindled things very quickly and got married very quickly. I don’t regret it. But it was too fast. And it ended up being a really awful divorce. But now I find I can even still love him but have moved far on from that.
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I feel like most people get readings during difficult times involving love. For those of you who have went through terrible breakups, were you able to get them back?
Did you listen to psychics who always tell you not to make first contact even when your POI has no reason to believe you want to talk to them? How did you do it?
I made first contact a few times, but not because a psychic told me to, just because I felt drawn to do it. It didn't lead to reconciliation, but I always got a positive reply. Go with your gut is my advice.
If you don’t mind me asking, why did it never lead to reconciliation?
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My gut has been telling me if I leave this man alone long enough and let him go through whatever he’s going through... that what was there between us once was actually real enough and strong enough that he will eventually at least reach out to me again.
Problem is that I admit it seems so ridiculously illogical and I keep telling myself to see the reality that he’s with someone else now and don’t ignore that and live in la-la land.
I’m just constantly in conflict.
But I think I’m finding I can make more steps to “move forward” while still believing this to be true. That I really have to “move forward” for my own well being even if my gut is right. I could be totally totally off base and letting my ego cloud my intuition.
And to the question in the post. Yes. Definitely. My ex husband and I reconnected after not seeing each other for 12 years and I still was in love with him and we rekindled things very quickly and got married very quickly. I don’t regret it. But it was too fast. And it ended up being a really awful divorce. But now I find I can even still love him but have moved far on from that.
Flora, the way Yona explained it to me is that it is a little of both. Keep in mind, Yona believes that we all have a path set in stone. What she told me is that my POI has a Wheel of Fortune going on right now, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change or influence his cycle. BUT she also sees us reconnecting as the wheel turns around. So she told me to live my life and progress my journey. This way, when he does reappear, I will be in the best place I can be to deal with the situation.
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My gut has been telling me if I leave this man alone long enough and let him go through whatever he’s going through... that what was there between us once was actually real enough and strong enough that he will eventually at least reach out to me again.
Problem is that I admit it seems so ridiculously illogical and I keep telling myself to see the reality that he’s with someone else now and don’t ignore that and live in la-la land.
I’m just constantly in conflict.
But I think I’m finding I can make more steps to “move forward” while still believing this to be true. That I really have to “move forward” for my own well being even if my gut is right. I could be totally totally off base and letting my ego cloud my intuition.
And to the question in the post. Yes. Definitely. My ex husband and I reconnected after not seeing each other for 12 years and I still was in love with him and we rekindled things very quickly and got married very quickly. I don’t regret it. But it was too fast. And it ended up being a really awful divorce. But now I find I can even still love him but have moved far on from that.
i relate to this a lot. the best thing to do is just leave them alone. if your gut is telling you that then listen to it but move forward in the mean time. Be ok with the possibility that he may not come back but hey if he does then thats great. do whats best for you in the mean time. from my past experience with my ex doesnt matter if hes with someone. you can only run away from how you truly feel inside for so long until it hits him dead in the face. dont wait around but trust me if he cares hell be back.
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I feel like most people get readings during difficult times involving love. For those of you who have went through terrible breakups, were you able to get them back?
Did you listen to psychics who always tell you not to make first contact even when your POI has no reason to believe you want to talk to them? How did you do it?
I made first contact a few times, but not because a psychic told me to, just because I felt drawn to do it. It didn't lead to reconciliation, but I always got a positive reply. Go with your gut is my advice.
If you don’t mind me asking, why did it never lead to reconciliation?
My POI didn't want a commitment and he knows I do. He never completely severed ties though, so I would say it's about bad timing. I could text him right now and get a reply within 10 minutes. I'm not blocked or ignored. He just won't allow it to move forward.
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I had a pretty bad breakup with my ex-husband and we wouldn't even talk. We communicated through his family and his sister would pick up the baby for him. His sister helped out a lot back then and we agreed to go to therapy. It worked for a while and he did move back in. We ended up separating again and eventually divorcing. He met a girl when we separated and I found out he started to see her again while we were in therapy. We have a good co-parenting relationship now and it took 2 years to get to this point. He knows that I have been seeing someone for over a year now and he sent me a few flirty text a few weeks ago and he has been friendly when we do drop offs. I found out he broke up with his gf recently. I have moved on and will never go back to him, but 2 of my readers mentioned a former lover coming back. I don't want anyone back from my past and I definitely wasn't expecting him to start flirting.
Before we got back together a lot of readers predicted it but only 3 warned that it wouldn't last. Even though we rekindled he never really changed which led to us divorcing.
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My gut has been telling me if I leave this man alone long enough and let him go through whatever he’s going through... that what was there between us once was actually real enough and strong enough that he will eventually at least reach out to me again.
Problem is that I admit it seems so ridiculously illogical and I keep telling myself to see the reality that he’s with someone else now and don’t ignore that and live in la-la land.
I’m just constantly in conflict.
But I think I’m finding I can make more steps to “move forward” while still believing this to be true. That I really have to “move forward” for my own well being even if my gut is right. I could be totally totally off base and letting my ego cloud my intuition.
And to the question in the post. Yes. Definitely. My ex husband and I reconnected after not seeing each other for 12 years and I still was in love with him and we rekindled things very quickly and got married very quickly. I don’t regret it. But it was too fast. And it ended up being a really awful divorce. But now I find I can even still love him but have moved far on from that.
I feel this 100%. My ex isn't with someone, but has a lot going on, career change, move, baggage from the past. I wish I could offer some advice on how to overcome the internal conflict that we feel when we want to let go and can't at the same time. You are definitely not alone though!
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I have never really gotten back with an ex unless it was a recent one and maybe due to an abrupt ending that just required a cooling off period. Usually when I am done with something I'm done and there is no going back for me even though psychics have told me many times over the years "Oh you and so and so were made for each other" and blah blah blah...its never happened, ever... and I have not really even wanted it to happen to be honest. I typically think exes are exes for a reason.
I really think that psychics do more damage than good when it comes to keeping people hanging on much longer than they should in the hopes that someone will return when we should be out living our lives and, if they return, they return...deal with it if it happens. Why stay stuck in meantime? I have certainly been guilty of this in the past myself.
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Yes and that’s my problem ! Instead of leaving I keep going back until I move on. I was in this one relationship for about 4 years. I kept going back and going back because I loved him so much ! Then he hit me and I never went back after that ! That was my deal breaker . And yes he came back, begging, popping up at my house, giving me money, wanted to marry me . He was doing all the right things after I moved on !!! I stayed getting readings on him too smh now I feel so crazy to have done that . Even to this day he still call and want to give it another shot lmao . Too bad I’m crazy about someone new *sighs* now it’s anew cycle of calls
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Yeah I guess that's it...we all have our own breaking points or deal breakers where we are truly *done* and can walk away and not look back. I have a lot more now that I am older so it takes much less time for me to notice them as well because I'm paying more attention now right out of the gate. Good for you for not tolerating being hit!
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I've never had a ex return to me, ever. I feel like usually there's too much water under the bridge with an ex for things to ever be rekindled or move on like nothing's happened.
For example I was told that with my recent POI he will return, but I can't talk to him like nothing's happened after how he treated me and how long he has been out of contact. Things would need to be said and he wouldn't like this and after all the hurt and upset I could never forgive him.
It depends on how the relationship was like, ended, how bad things were and if the guy is fair and square. If he is narcy, then there's no hope of you being able to move on healthily as he will never see his faults and accept them. It depends if the guy is healthy or toxic, there's many factors involved... But like, 1% on this board get back with their exes and it's happily every after and smooth sailing.
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I've never had a ex return to me, ever. I feel like usually there's too much water under the bridge with an ex for things to ever be rekindled or move on like nothing's happened.
For example I was told that with my recent POI he will return, but I can't talk to him like nothing's happened after how he treated me and how long he has been out of contact. Things would need to be said and he wouldn't like this and after all the hurt and upset I could never forgive him.
It depends on how the relationship was like, ended, how bad things were and if the guy is fair and square. If he is narcy, then there's no hope of you being able to move on healthily as he will never see his faults and accept them. It depends if the guy is healthy or toxic, there's many factors involved... But like, 1% on this board get back with their exes and it's happily every after and smooth sailing.
I feel like a lot of them come back in some way though. They just don’t work out for whatever reason. I have 3 exes and 2 have came back. I only gave one a 2nd chance and it was worse than the first time but we also didn’t work out what happened the 1st time, we just jumped in a thought time fixed everything. The 2nd one I would never go back but I never loved him either. My 3rd ex was very recent and I have a feeling it’s not 100% over but I also know it would have to be me approaching him. Our breakup was terrible and I was the one who made it that way.
I guess it the way the returning ex approaches it?
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I've never had a ex return to me, ever. I feel like usually there's too much water under the bridge with an ex for things to ever be rekindled or move on like nothing's happened.
For example I was told that with my recent POI he will return, but I can't talk to him like nothing's happened after how he treated me and how long he has been out of contact. Things would need to be said and he wouldn't like this and after all the hurt and upset I could never forgive him.
It depends on how the relationship was like, ended, how bad things were and if the guy is fair and square. If he is narcy, then there's no hope of you being able to move on healthily as he will never see his faults and accept them. It depends if the guy is healthy or toxic, there's many factors involved... But like, 1% on this board get back with their exes and it's happily every after and smooth sailing.
I feel like a lot of them come back in some way though. They just don’t work out for whatever reason. I have 3 exes and 2 have came back. I only gave one a 2nd chance and it was worse than the first time but we also didn’t work out what happened the 1st time, we just jumped in a thought time fixed everything. The 2nd one I would never go back but I never loved him either. My 3rd ex was very recent and I have a feeling it’s not 100% over but I also know it would have to be me approaching him. Our breakup was terrible and I was the one who made it that way.
I guess it the way the returning ex approaches it?
I agree. All of my exes have come back. Some it was 10 years later. They all reappeared, but either I moved on or nothing changed so it never lead to any reconciliation.
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Yes- I was able to rekindle my relationship after we broke up for a month and a half. I had psychics tell me it was not going to work out long term, we are now engaged. But I think the key is and this is a no brainer, both parties must be willing and wanting to work at making the relationship work. If the desire is not there, there will be lack of communication and effort, and unfortunately things will not be resolved of why the breakup happened in the first place and you will find yourself in a vicious cycle. I read somewhere the sign of a relationship that is over is the lack of respect for the other person. So be honest with yourself, do you really want someone who you lost respect for or doesn’t respect you?
After I took a break from my relationship, I realized I had a lot of healing to do. I let go of the thought of us getting back together and focused on my life as a whole. I let go of pride and fear and approached him with only love and gratitude for the moment we shared together. I knew whatever the outcome was, I had accepted and let go. It was then that I was able to let in a new beginning with him and we both built up the relationship stronger than it was ever before but we both WORKED for it and continue to do so. I hope this can help someone. I’m not writing this to gloat but we turn to psychics to help guide us, to avoid disaster or to get some reassurance someone will be back. I believe each of us have the power to choose how we control our lives, choose yourself over everything else.
Thank you so much for posting this and sharing Silverlightnmoom <3 Love love love this! Congratulations on the engagement <3 I resonate with this so much, and can relate. We only have control over ourselves, and we truly have to do the work to get ourselves in a good place, through healing, and focused on making our lives fulfilling, and growing, etc. so that we can show up in our relationships in a loving way. I did the same as you, accepted, let go, let go of pride and fear, and a new beginning came in where I am super grateful now for the connection. It took a lot longer than a month or two for me, but the process was very similar. I think your post will help others!
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Yes- I was able to rekindle my relationship after we broke up for a month and a half. I had psychics tell me it was not going to work out long term, we are now engaged. But I think the key is and this is a no brainer, both parties must be willing and wanting to work at making the relationship work. If the desire is not there, there will be lack of communication and effort, and unfortunately things will not be resolved of why the breakup happened in the first place and you will find yourself in a vicious cycle. I read somewhere the sign of a relationship that is over is the lack of respect for the other person. So be honest with yourself, do you really want someone who you lost respect for or doesn’t respect you?
After I took a break from my relationship, I realized I had a lot of healing to do. I let go of the thought of us getting back together and focused on my life as a whole. I let go of pride and fear and approached him with only love and gratitude for the moment we shared together. I knew whatever the outcome was, I had accepted and let go. It was then that I was able to let in a new beginning with him and we both built up the relationship stronger than it was ever before but we both WORKED for it and continue to do so. I hope this can help someone. I’m not writing this to gloat but we turn to psychics to help guide us, to avoid disaster or to get some reassurance someone will be back. I believe each of us have the power to choose how we control our lives, choose yourself over everything else.
I love this, it really is possible if you both are open and honest.
You said you reached out to him, were you the one who ended the relationship?
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Thank you snow-white and girly!
I was the one who ended the relationship not because of anything he did. I had DEEP rooted trust issues that went back to childhood. I was single for 5 years before i met him and when things started to become serious, i started to become fearful of getting close to someone. It became a self fulfilling prophecy and i ended the relationship. Therapy helped a lot to overcome fear based reactions. I did reach out to him first pre-maturely, he was still hurt and let me tell you this man did NOT respond well. Instead of reacting negatively to his negativity. I let it go and didn’t respond. A few weeks later, he reached out to me and I took responsibility for my actions. I made myself vulnerable to him, while maintaining my strength through the act of accepting and letting go.
One thing I strongly encourage women to do is to really understand what their “walk away” scenarios are - then you communicate that to your significant other. So they know where your boundaries are. That means if your significant other continues to cheats on you, after they know that’s grounds for you to walk away, then they try to make it seem they putting in time and effort to make it “work,” I would be hella cautious.
My most reason ex was single for 6 years and when I think that had a lot to do with our breakup. He told me he “just wanted to do his own thing” and that he wanted to think about it and I pushed to much, resulting in so so many problems. When I tell people that I think him being single for so long is probably a factor, I’m told I’m making excuses for him and that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. I’m glad to see from your perspective that it is a reality.
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Thank you snow-white and girly!
I was the one who ended the relationship not because of anything he did. I had DEEP rooted trust issues that went back to childhood. I was single for 5 years before i met him and when things started to become serious, i started to become fearful of getting close to someone. It became a self fulfilling prophecy and i ended the relationship. Therapy helped a lot to overcome fear based reactions. I did reach out to him first pre-maturely, he was still hurt and let me tell you this man did NOT respond well. Instead of reacting negatively to his negativity. I let it go and didn’t respond. A few weeks later, he reached out to me and I took responsibility for my actions. I made myself vulnerable to him, while maintaining my strength through the act of accepting and letting go.
One thing I strongly encourage women to do is to really understand what their “walk away” scenarios are - then you communicate that to your significant other. So they know where your boundaries are. That means if your significant other continues to cheats on you, after they know that’s grounds for you to walk away, then they try to make it seem they putting in time and effort to make it “work,” I would be hella cautious.
My most reason ex was single for 6 years and when I think that had a lot to do with our breakup. He told me he “just wanted to do his own thing” and that he wanted to think about it and I pushed to much, resulting in so so many problems. When I tell people that I think him being single for so long is probably a factor, I’m told I’m making excuses for him and that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. I’m glad to see from your perspective that it is a reality.
I think not everyone knows how to be or act in a relationship. It’s like with anything and you learn with experience. Some people are naturally better at it than others and can make any relationship work but not everyone is like that. That’s bs that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. Sure you do then why is the divorce rate so high ? I think being alone after a while it becomes addicting and almost like a comfort zone where you don’t know how to be any other way and may take a while to get out of that habit. A person who’s never been social and never had friends , will he know how to act around people. Maybe, maybe not. The more you interact with people, the more you understand how they work.
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Thank you snow-white and girly!
I was the one who ended the relationship not because of anything he did. I had DEEP rooted trust issues that went back to childhood. I was single for 5 years before i met him and when things started to become serious, i started to become fearful of getting close to someone. It became a self fulfilling prophecy and i ended the relationship. Therapy helped a lot to overcome fear based reactions. I did reach out to him first pre-maturely, he was still hurt and let me tell you this man did NOT respond well. Instead of reacting negatively to his negativity. I let it go and didn’t respond. A few weeks later, he reached out to me and I took responsibility for my actions. I made myself vulnerable to him, while maintaining my strength through the act of accepting and letting go.
One thing I strongly encourage women to do is to really understand what their “walk away” scenarios are - then you communicate that to your significant other. So they know where your boundaries are. That means if your significant other continues to cheats on you, after they know that’s grounds for you to walk away, then they try to make it seem they putting in time and effort to make it “work,” I would be hella cautious.
My most reason ex was single for 6 years and when I think that had a lot to do with our breakup. He told me he “just wanted to do his own thing” and that he wanted to think about it and I pushed to much, resulting in so so many problems. When I tell people that I think him being single for so long is probably a factor, I’m told I’m making excuses for him and that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. I’m glad to see from your perspective that it is a reality.
I think not everyone knows how to be or act in a relationship. It’s like with anything and you learn with experience. Some people are naturally better at it than others and can make any relationship work but not everyone is like that. That’s bs that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. Sure you do then why is the divorce rate so high ? I think being alone after a while it becomes addicting and almost like a comfort zone where you don’t know how to be any other way and may take a while to get out of that habit. A person who’s never been social and never had friends , will he know how to act around people. Maybe, maybe not. The more you interact with people, the more you understand how they work.
I absolutely agree! You definitely need to learn how to be in a relationship if you want one, especially after being single for some time. It doesn’t matter if you guys are “soulmates, twin flames” or what have you. Relationships take work and learning, understanding, and accepting the other person. I think serial daters who go from one serious relationship to the next with very little time in between can be the exception, but I believe they are just picking up the new relationship where the last one ended off - it sounds bad but it works for some people.
See, he was single for a long time and I was the one who went from relationship to relationship. I had these expectations and expected him to act the way the others did. More so with how often we hung out. We only saw each other once a week and I was used to that. He didn’t see a problem with it but I did. I always feel like I was becoming somewhat distant as well and I honestly think he could sense something changing. I actually confirmed to him I had felt the way he felt. I will admit, I was a terrible communicator.
Being in a relationship is a lot different than being friends with someone. It’s definitely a learned thing and it’s easy to quit when it gets difficult.
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Thank you snow-white and girly!
I was the one who ended the relationship not because of anything he did. I had DEEP rooted trust issues that went back to childhood. I was single for 5 years before i met him and when things started to become serious, i started to become fearful of getting close to someone. It became a self fulfilling prophecy and i ended the relationship. Therapy helped a lot to overcome fear based reactions. I did reach out to him first pre-maturely, he was still hurt and let me tell you this man did NOT respond well. Instead of reacting negatively to his negativity. I let it go and didn’t respond. A few weeks later, he reached out to me and I took responsibility for my actions. I made myself vulnerable to him, while maintaining my strength through the act of accepting and letting go.
One thing I strongly encourage women to do is to really understand what their “walk away” scenarios are - then you communicate that to your significant other. So they know where your boundaries are. That means if your significant other continues to cheats on you, after they know that’s grounds for you to walk away, then they try to make it seem they putting in time and effort to make it “work,” I would be hella cautious.
My most reason ex was single for 6 years and when I think that had a lot to do with our breakup. He told me he “just wanted to do his own thing” and that he wanted to think about it and I pushed to much, resulting in so so many problems. When I tell people that I think him being single for so long is probably a factor, I’m told I’m making excuses for him and that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. I’m glad to see from your perspective that it is a reality.
I think not everyone knows how to be or act in a relationship. It’s like with anything and you learn with experience. Some people are naturally better at it than others and can make any relationship work but not everyone is like that. That’s bs that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. Sure you do then why is the divorce rate so high ? I think being alone after a while it becomes addicting and almost like a comfort zone where you don’t know how to be any other way and may take a while to get out of that habit. A person who’s never been social and never had friends , will he know how to act around people. Maybe, maybe not. The more you interact with people, the more you understand how they work.
I absolutely agree! You definitely need to learn how to be in a relationship if you want one, especially after being single for some time. It doesn’t matter if you guys are “soulmates, twin flames” or what have you. Relationships take work and learning, understanding, and accepting the other person. I think serial daters who go from one serious relationship to the next with very little time in between can be the exception, but I believe they are just picking up the new relationship where the last one ended off - it sounds bad but it works for some people.
See, he was single for a long time and I was the one who went from relationship to relationship. I had these expectations and expected him to act the way the others did. More so with how often we hung out. We only saw each other once a week and I was used to that. He didn’t see a problem with it but I did. I always feel like I was becoming somewhat distant as well and I honestly think he could sense something changing. I actually confirmed to him I had felt the way he felt. I will admit, I was a terrible communicator.
Being in a relationship is a lot different than being friends with someone. It’s definitely a learned thing and it’s easy to quit when it gets difficult.
This right here is me. My recent ex as of last week :'( had been single a while and counts only on himself. Workaholic drive ambition and he does it alone and doesn't want someone that is needy or expecting him to change. Which I don't but I do expect he will text or call me at some point during the day. He isn't good at that because he isn't used to dealing with anyone but himself. So when I pushed he pushed back. He threw up his hands and said what you see is what you get and I got pissed and walked out. I know we can fix it. But both of us have to learn and communicate before it can go on. He doesn't text I get anxiety I blame him he blames me and we push apart. It can't go like that.
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Thank you snow-white and girly!
I was the one who ended the relationship not because of anything he did. I had DEEP rooted trust issues that went back to childhood. I was single for 5 years before i met him and when things started to become serious, i started to become fearful of getting close to someone. It became a self fulfilling prophecy and i ended the relationship. Therapy helped a lot to overcome fear based reactions. I did reach out to him first pre-maturely, he was still hurt and let me tell you this man did NOT respond well. Instead of reacting negatively to his negativity. I let it go and didn’t respond. A few weeks later, he reached out to me and I took responsibility for my actions. I made myself vulnerable to him, while maintaining my strength through the act of accepting and letting go.
One thing I strongly encourage women to do is to really understand what their “walk away” scenarios are - then you communicate that to your significant other. So they know where your boundaries are. That means if your significant other continues to cheats on you, after they know that’s grounds for you to walk away, then they try to make it seem they putting in time and effort to make it “work,” I would be hella cautious.
My most reason ex was single for 6 years and when I think that had a lot to do with our breakup. He told me he “just wanted to do his own thing” and that he wanted to think about it and I pushed to much, resulting in so so many problems. When I tell people that I think him being single for so long is probably a factor, I’m told I’m making excuses for him and that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. I’m glad to see from your perspective that it is a reality.
I think not everyone knows how to be or act in a relationship. It’s like with anything and you learn with experience. Some people are naturally better at it than others and can make any relationship work but not everyone is like that. That’s bs that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. Sure you do then why is the divorce rate so high ? I think being alone after a while it becomes addicting and almost like a comfort zone where you don’t know how to be any other way and may take a while to get out of that habit. A person who’s never been social and never had friends , will he know how to act around people. Maybe, maybe not. The more you interact with people, the more you understand how they work.
I absolutely agree! You definitely need to learn how to be in a relationship if you want one, especially after being single for some time. It doesn’t matter if you guys are “soulmates, twin flames” or what have you. Relationships take work and learning, understanding, and accepting the other person. I think serial daters who go from one serious relationship to the next with very little time in between can be the exception, but I believe they are just picking up the new relationship where the last one ended off - it sounds bad but it works for some people.
See, he was single for a long time and I was the one who went from relationship to relationship. I had these expectations and expected him to act the way the others did. More so with how often we hung out. We only saw each other once a week and I was used to that. He didn’t see a problem with it but I did. I always feel like I was becoming somewhat distant as well and I honestly think he could sense something changing. I actually confirmed to him I had felt the way he felt. I will admit, I was a terrible communicator.
Being in a relationship is a lot different than being friends with someone. It’s definitely a learned thing and it’s easy to quit when it gets difficult.
This right here is me. My recent ex as of last week :'( had been single a while and counts only on himself. Workaholic drive ambition and he does it alone and doesn't want someone that is needy or expecting him to change. Which I don't but I do expect he will text or call me at some point during the day. He isn't good at that because he isn't used to dealing with anyone but himself. So when I pushed he pushed back. He threw up his hands and said what you see is what you get and I got pissed and walked out. I know we can fix it. But both of us have to learn and communicate before it can go on. He doesn't text I get anxiety I blame him he blames me and we push apart. It can't go like that.
It’s so hard learning how someone else works. I get the anxiety too when they don’t text back and make it so much more difficult. I trusted him, I never once thought he was doing something behind my back but I just felt he wasn’t putting in the same effort. I now realize that he was but just not in the same way. I feel like texting doesn’t matter as much to men as it does to women. He told me he wanted a break and I pushed to the point of him saying he was done. He’s always been very forgiving and always apologized but I’m afraid I pushed to far. I don’t have the slightest clue on how to fix it. We haven’t talked in 2 months but I also know I said things to make him think I want nothing to do with him.
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Thank you snow-white and girly!
I was the one who ended the relationship not because of anything he did. I had DEEP rooted trust issues that went back to childhood. I was single for 5 years before i met him and when things started to become serious, i started to become fearful of getting close to someone. It became a self fulfilling prophecy and i ended the relationship. Therapy helped a lot to overcome fear based reactions. I did reach out to him first pre-maturely, he was still hurt and let me tell you this man did NOT respond well. Instead of reacting negatively to his negativity. I let it go and didn’t respond. A few weeks later, he reached out to me and I took responsibility for my actions. I made myself vulnerable to him, while maintaining my strength through the act of accepting and letting go.
One thing I strongly encourage women to do is to really understand what their “walk away” scenarios are - then you communicate that to your significant other. So they know where your boundaries are. That means if your significant other continues to cheats on you, after they know that’s grounds for you to walk away, then they try to make it seem they putting in time and effort to make it “work,” I would be hella cautious.
My most reason ex was single for 6 years and when I think that had a lot to do with our breakup. He told me he “just wanted to do his own thing” and that he wanted to think about it and I pushed to much, resulting in so so many problems. When I tell people that I think him being single for so long is probably a factor, I’m told I’m making excuses for him and that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. I’m glad to see from your perspective that it is a reality.
I think not everyone knows how to be or act in a relationship. It’s like with anything and you learn with experience. Some people are naturally better at it than others and can make any relationship work but not everyone is like that. That’s bs that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. Sure you do then why is the divorce rate so high ? I think being alone after a while it becomes addicting and almost like a comfort zone where you don’t know how to be any other way and may take a while to get out of that habit. A person who’s never been social and never had friends , will he know how to act around people. Maybe, maybe not. The more you interact with people, the more you understand how they work.
I absolutely agree! You definitely need to learn how to be in a relationship if you want one, especially after being single for some time. It doesn’t matter if you guys are “soulmates, twin flames” or what have you. Relationships take work and learning, understanding, and accepting the other person. I think serial daters who go from one serious relationship to the next with very little time in between can be the exception, but I believe they are just picking up the new relationship where the last one ended off - it sounds bad but it works for some people.
See, he was single for a long time and I was the one who went from relationship to relationship. I had these expectations and expected him to act the way the others did. More so with how often we hung out. We only saw each other once a week and I was used to that. He didn’t see a problem with it but I did. I always feel like I was becoming somewhat distant as well and I honestly think he could sense something changing. I actually confirmed to him I had felt the way he felt. I will admit, I was a terrible communicator.
Being in a relationship is a lot different than being friends with someone. It’s definitely a learned thing and it’s easy to quit when it gets difficult.
This right here is me. My recent ex as of last week :'( had been single a while and counts only on himself. Workaholic drive ambition and he does it alone and doesn't want someone that is needy or expecting him to change. Which I don't but I do expect he will text or call me at some point during the day. He isn't good at that because he isn't used to dealing with anyone but himself. So when I pushed he pushed back. He threw up his hands and said what you see is what you get and I got pissed and walked out. I know we can fix it. But both of us have to learn and communicate before it can go on. He doesn't text I get anxiety I blame him he blames me and we push apart. It can't go like that.
It’s so hard learning how someone else works. I get the anxiety too when they don’t text back and make it so much more difficult. I trusted him, I never once thought he was doing something behind my back but I just felt he wasn’t putting in the same effort. I now realize that he was but just not in the same way. I feel like texting doesn’t matter as much to men as it does to women. He told me he wanted a break and I pushed to the point of him saying he was done. He’s always been very forgiving and always apologized but I’m afraid I pushed to far. I don’t have the slightest clue on how to fix it. We haven’t talked in 2 months but I also know I said things to make him think I want nothing to do with him.
I'm giving mine time to cool off and it seems like you have done that. If he doesn't contact me in the next week I'm going to call him and ask him to meet up with me and talk. I need to at least explain my anxiety and apologize to him. Think I will tell him you know when I get pushy with my anxiety just tell me to calm down. Lol. I have never felt like his lack of texting is because of another person and I know it is being overworked. Makes it a little easier I guess.
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Thank you snow-white and girly!
I was the one who ended the relationship not because of anything he did. I had DEEP rooted trust issues that went back to childhood. I was single for 5 years before i met him and when things started to become serious, i started to become fearful of getting close to someone. It became a self fulfilling prophecy and i ended the relationship. Therapy helped a lot to overcome fear based reactions. I did reach out to him first pre-maturely, he was still hurt and let me tell you this man did NOT respond well. Instead of reacting negatively to his negativity. I let it go and didn’t respond. A few weeks later, he reached out to me and I took responsibility for my actions. I made myself vulnerable to him, while maintaining my strength through the act of accepting and letting go.
One thing I strongly encourage women to do is to really understand what their “walk away” scenarios are - then you communicate that to your significant other. So they know where your boundaries are. That means if your significant other continues to cheats on you, after they know that’s grounds for you to walk away, then they try to make it seem they putting in time and effort to make it “work,” I would be hella cautious.
My most reason ex was single for 6 years and when I think that had a lot to do with our breakup. He told me he “just wanted to do his own thing” and that he wanted to think about it and I pushed to much, resulting in so so many problems. When I tell people that I think him being single for so long is probably a factor, I’m told I’m making excuses for him and that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. I’m glad to see from your perspective that it is a reality.
I think not everyone knows how to be or act in a relationship. It’s like with anything and you learn with experience. Some people are naturally better at it than others and can make any relationship work but not everyone is like that. That’s bs that you don’t have to learn how to be in a relationship. Sure you do then why is the divorce rate so high ? I think being alone after a while it becomes addicting and almost like a comfort zone where you don’t know how to be any other way and may take a while to get out of that habit. A person who’s never been social and never had friends , will he know how to act around people. Maybe, maybe not. The more you interact with people, the more you understand how they work.
I absolutely agree! You definitely need to learn how to be in a relationship if you want one, especially after being single for some time. It doesn’t matter if you guys are “soulmates, twin flames” or what have you. Relationships take work and learning, understanding, and accepting the other person. I think serial daters who go from one serious relationship to the next with very little time in between can be the exception, but I believe they are just picking up the new relationship where the last one ended off - it sounds bad but it works for some people.
See, he was single for a long time and I was the one who went from relationship to relationship. I had these expectations and expected him to act the way the others did. More so with how often we hung out. We only saw each other once a week and I was used to that. He didn’t see a problem with it but I did. I always feel like I was becoming somewhat distant as well and I honestly think he could sense something changing. I actually confirmed to him I had felt the way he felt. I will admit, I was a terrible communicator.
Being in a relationship is a lot different than being friends with someone. It’s definitely a learned thing and it’s easy to quit when it gets difficult.
This right here is me. My recent ex as of last week :'( had been single a while and counts only on himself. Workaholic drive ambition and he does it alone and doesn't want someone that is needy or expecting him to change. Which I don't but I do expect he will text or call me at some point during the day. He isn't good at that because he isn't used to dealing with anyone but himself. So when I pushed he pushed back. He threw up his hands and said what you see is what you get and I got pissed and walked out. I know we can fix it. But both of us have to learn and communicate before it can go on. He doesn't text I get anxiety I blame him he blames me and we push apart. It can't go like that.
It’s so hard learning how someone else works. I get the anxiety too when they don’t text back and make it so much more difficult. I trusted him, I never once thought he was doing something behind my back but I just felt he wasn’t putting in the same effort. I now realize that he was but just not in the same way. I feel like texting doesn’t matter as much to men as it does to women. He told me he wanted a break and I pushed to the point of him saying he was done. He’s always been very forgiving and always apologized but I’m afraid I pushed to far. I don’t have the slightest clue on how to fix it. We haven’t talked in 2 months but I also know I said things to make him think I want nothing to do with him.
I'm giving mine time to cool off and it seems like you have done that. If he doesn't contact me in the next week I'm going to call him and ask him to meet up with me and talk. I need to at least explain my anxiety and apologize to him. Think I will tell him you know when I get pushy with my anxiety just tell me to calm down. Lol. I have never felt like his lack of texting is because of another person and I know it is being overworked. Makes it a little easier I guess.
I’m to scared to call because I don’t know whether I’m blocked or not lol. We had a pretty rough fight the last time we saw each other.