The Psychic Reviews
Relationship Psychology Discussions => My Story => Topic started by: icloud9 on December 12, 2018, 08:36:22 AM
-
I can't speak for other people, but I think this whole "Free will" stuff is way too real for me to completely disregard it. When psychics put a great emphasis on free will (aside from the occasions where these psychics are actually not connecting to your particular situation at all and just using "free will" as an excuse) I believe it is something we do need to take into account.
So, my POI has pulled back for a bit. Although this WAS shown in my reading and therefore, was expected, I can't deny that it is still a downer. He is presently dealing with some legal issues and his ex is back in the picture (She pops in to make his life miserable from time to time, and she really knows how to push his buttons) which sort of has him want to retreat and go into a hermit mode.
I've been very patient and faithful with the situation.. and I actually do feel there's a future for us. I just feel he has some stuff to clear out his way right now, which has nothing to do with me so I need to keep my cool and let him deal with that. Aside from my own intuition, my trusted advisors told me that we would eventually end up together, so that's another thing that I am keeping in mind also. I digress. Here's my thing about someone's FREE WILL, though, and how I feel that can really CHANGE the course.
Okay, so, while I'm having this "Quiet period" with my current POI, my ex-fiance who still has yet to let me go although it's been almost two years since I called off the wedding and left the relationship. God knows ever since I made that decision of finally letting it all go, I KNEW I did NOT want to be with him. Although I came back around not too long after, it was only for the friendship, and we were still communicating as "friends". (We have too much history together for me to just completely drop him and kick him to the side..and I do care for him as a PERSON.) HOWEVER.... He is constantly around me and for the past two years he's been basically BEGGING me for another chance. It's funny because the whole reason why I left him is because he cheated on me TWICE, and seeing him beg for me for all this time makes me look at him in a different way. (but then again I dont want to get fooled AGAIN, so i've been brushing this whole thing off).
Recently though, weird things started to happen in my head- like I find myself actually start to "CONSIDER" his plead. I mean this actually only started to happen VERY recently... I don't know if this is happening because I am feeling quite lonely because of my situation with my POI, or because somehow my soul is recognizing the sincerity in my ex's plead. I feel super confused right now that I find myself thinking about my ex again in THAT way..But I'm also brushing it off and tell myself that this is an illusion..I am trying not to feed into these weird feelings because I really feel it mainly does have to do with my loneliness, and I do not want to give this a false sense of fuel. I need to think logically and remind myself that my ex had completely broke my trust during our relationship. It's just so frustrating that he is still around and it's also because our families have ties, too.
and by the way, I'm also not going to get readings on this dilemma because I actually don't want these readings to confuse me more.
But my point here is....ALTHOUGH I do (supposedly) have this destined path of being with my current POI....IF I actually choose my EX in this situation for WHATEVER reason, theoretically, then all the readings I've gotten would be WRONG...And it would be because by my OWN free will I decided to be with someone else.
So this is the thing - I feel there are just so many different factors involved when you ask about the potential between you and a POI. They might be reading the potential between you two, but they can't always see interferences of other people interjecting, and your own free will, and your POI's free will.
So I feel, this is where and how the readings can be wrong sometimes.
Let's just hope that my current feelings of confusion and re-consideration about my ex don't get further developed. It sucks that we can't always seem to control our feelings...
-
Personally I think that there's more to life than free will. If there's free will always, what's the point of having readings if the outcome could constantly change? I'm still on the fence, I've seen evidence for both free will and destiny.. So perhaps they're intwined? Anyway, best of luck with your POI.
-
I can't speak for other people, but I think this whole "Free will" stuff is way too real for me to completely disregard it. When psychics put a great emphasis on free will (aside from the occasions where these psychics are actually not connecting to your particular situation at all and just using "free will" as an excuse) I believe it is something we do need to take into account.
So, my POI has pulled back for a bit. Although this WAS shown in my reading and therefore, was expected, I can't deny that it is still a downer. He is presently dealing with some legal issues and his ex is back in the picture (She pops in to make his life miserable from time to time, and she really knows how to push his buttons) which sort of has him want to retreat and go into a hermit mode.
I've been very patient and faithful with the situation.. and I actually do feel there's a future for us. I just feel he has some stuff to clear out his way right now, which has nothing to do with me so I need to keep my cool and let him deal with that. Aside from my own intuition, my trusted advisors told me that we would eventually end up together, so that's another thing that I am keeping in mind also. I digress. Here's my thing about someone's FREE WILL, though, and how I feel that can really CHANGE the course.
Okay, so, while I'm having this "Quiet period" with my current POI, my ex-fiance who still has yet to let me go although it's been almost two years since I called off the wedding and left the relationship. God knows ever since I made that decision of finally letting it all go, I KNEW I did NOT want to be with him. Although I came back around not too long after, it was only for the friendship, and we were still communicating as "friends". (We have too much history together for me to just completely drop him and kick him to the side..and I do care for him as a PERSON.) HOWEVER.... He is constantly around me and for the past two years he's been basically BEGGING me for another chance. It's funny because the whole reason why I left him is because he cheated on me TWICE, and seeing him beg for me for all this time makes me look at him in a different way. (but then again I dont want to get fooled AGAIN, so i've been brushing this whole thing off).
Recently though, weird things started to happen in my head- like I find myself actually start to "CONSIDER" his plead. I mean this actually only started to happen VERY recently... I don't know if this is happening because I am feeling quite lonely because of my situation with my POI, or because somehow my soul is recognizing the sincerity in my ex's plead. I feel super confused right now that I find myself thinking about my ex again in THAT way..But I'm also brushing it off and tell myself that this is an illusion..I am trying not to feed into these weird feelings because I really feel it mainly does have to do with my loneliness, and I do not want to give this a false sense of fuel. I need to think logically and remind myself that my ex had completely broke my trust during our relationship. It's just so frustrating that he is still around and it's also because our families have ties, too.
and by the way, I'm also not going to get readings on this dilemma because I actually don't want these readings to confuse me more.
But my point here is....ALTHOUGH I do (supposedly) have this destined path of being with my current POI....IF I actually choose my EX in this situation for WHATEVER reason, theoretically, then all the readings I've gotten would be WRONG...And it would be because by my OWN free will I decided to be with someone else.
So this is the thing - I feel there are just so many different factors involved when you ask about the potential between you and a POI. They might be reading the potential between you two, but they can't always see interferences of other people interjecting, and your own free will, and your POI's free will.
So I feel, this is where and how the readings can be wrong sometimes.
Let's just hope that my current feelings of confusion and re-consideration about my ex don't get further developed. It sucks that we can't always seem to control our feelings...
I think you and I's situation is VERY similar! My ex husband didnt want the divorce and still thinks Im coming back. There are times when I think that life would be easier for me and my 3 kids if I just went back. I had a great life but wasnt in love with him. My friends tell me Im just lonely and it will pass (it will for you too) -- I know they are right and I wont really go back!
I think POI will eventually be together but it may not be beg of year like most predicted... He has been going through a lot this past year too! (It's really a lot of why we didnt work out I believe - timing was horrible for us). Readers have picked up on his stress, anxiety and moods but when ppl are going through big things in their life there's no way they can even consider trying to reach out to us, much less reconcile. For one, they are feeling too low and for two they have so much else on their minds. I cant really blame a reader for not knowing when his life will simplify and he will be able to think about "us" again! He too has an ex who is manipulative and pulls his strings.... she comes in and out of his life. I believe this is needed for them to have someone to keep them "not lonely" - our connection is too much to be that person, we cant do light and meaningless (he and I) and I suspect you cant either. QoC described it to me that he is enjoying a sexual relationship with someone because it's all he can manage right now emotionally!
Anyway, I think this is why sometimes these guys show up a year or even 5 later (if we are all really meant to be) -- This is why letting go is important! Not to bring them back but so that you can move on with life and be happy! If they really are your person then it will work out down the road!
-
I can't speak for other people, but I think this whole "Free will" stuff is way too real for me to completely disregard it. When psychics put a great emphasis on free will (aside from the occasions where these psychics are actually not connecting to your particular situation at all and just using "free will" as an excuse) I believe it is something we do need to take into account.
So, my POI has pulled back for a bit. Although this WAS shown in my reading and therefore, was expected, I can't deny that it is still a downer. He is presently dealing with some legal issues and his ex is back in the picture (She pops in to make his life miserable from time to time, and she really knows how to push his buttons) which sort of has him want to retreat and go into a hermit mode.
I've been very patient and faithful with the situation.. and I actually do feel there's a future for us. I just feel he has some stuff to clear out his way right now, which has nothing to do with me so I need to keep my cool and let him deal with that. Aside from my own intuition, my trusted advisors told me that we would eventually end up together, so that's another thing that I am keeping in mind also. I digress. Here's my thing about someone's FREE WILL, though, and how I feel that can really CHANGE the course.
Okay, so, while I'm having this "Quiet period" with my current POI, my ex-fiance who still has yet to let me go although it's been almost two years since I called off the wedding and left the relationship. God knows ever since I made that decision of finally letting it all go, I KNEW I did NOT want to be with him. Although I came back around not too long after, it was only for the friendship, and we were still communicating as "friends". (We have too much history together for me to just completely drop him and kick him to the side..and I do care for him as a PERSON.) HOWEVER.... He is constantly around me and for the past two years he's been basically BEGGING me for another chance. It's funny because the whole reason why I left him is because he cheated on me TWICE, and seeing him beg for me for all this time makes me look at him in a different way. (but then again I dont want to get fooled AGAIN, so i've been brushing this whole thing off).
Recently though, weird things started to happen in my head- like I find myself actually start to "CONSIDER" his plead. I mean this actually only started to happen VERY recently... I don't know if this is happening because I am feeling quite lonely because of my situation with my POI, or because somehow my soul is recognizing the sincerity in my ex's plead. I feel super confused right now that I find myself thinking about my ex again in THAT way..But I'm also brushing it off and tell myself that this is an illusion..I am trying not to feed into these weird feelings because I really feel it mainly does have to do with my loneliness, and I do not want to give this a false sense of fuel. I need to think logically and remind myself that my ex had completely broke my trust during our relationship. It's just so frustrating that he is still around and it's also because our families have ties, too.
and by the way, I'm also not going to get readings on this dilemma because I actually don't want these readings to confuse me more.
But my point here is....ALTHOUGH I do (supposedly) have this destined path of being with my current POI....IF I actually choose my EX in this situation for WHATEVER reason, theoretically, then all the readings I've gotten would be WRONG...And it would be because by my OWN free will I decided to be with someone else.
So this is the thing - I feel there are just so many different factors involved when you ask about the potential between you and a POI. They might be reading the potential between you two, but they can't always see interferences of other people interjecting, and your own free will, and your POI's free will.
So I feel, this is where and how the readings can be wrong sometimes.
Let's just hope that my current feelings of confusion and re-consideration about my ex don't get further developed. It sucks that we can't always seem to control our feelings...
I think you and I's situation is VERY similar! My ex husband didnt want the divorce and still thinks Im coming back. There are times when I think that life would be easier for me and my 3 kids if I just went back. I had a great life but wasnt in love with him. My friends tell me Im just lonely and it will pass (it will for you too) -- I know they are right and I wont really go back!
I think POI will eventually be together but it may not be beg of year like most predicted... He has been going through a lot this past year too! (It's really a lot of why we didnt work out I believe - timing was horrible for us). Readers have picked up on his stress, anxiety and moods but when ppl are going through big things in their life there's no way they can even consider trying to reach out to us, much less reconcile. For one, they are feeling too low and for two they have so much else on their minds. I cant really blame a reader for not knowing when his life will simplify and he will be able to think about "us" again! He too has an ex who is manipulative and pulls his strings.... she comes in and out of his life. I believe this is needed for them to have someone to keep them "not lonely" - our connection is too much to be that person, we cant do light and meaningless (he and I) and I suspect you cant either. QoC described it to me that he is enjoying a sexual relationship with someone because it's all he can manage right now emotionally!
Anyway, I think this is why sometimes these guys show up a year or even 5 later (if we are all really meant to be) -- This is why letting go is important! Not to bring them back but so that you can move on with life and be happy! If they really are your person then it will work out down the road!
I can relate to you guys. iCloud I think it’s the loneliness. Men are such strange creatures it’s like they can’t see how their actions will affect the future and then realize what they’ve done and come pleading back.
-
I think you and I's situation is VERY similar! My ex husband didnt want the divorce and still thinks Im coming back. There are times when I think that life would be easier for me and my 3 kids if I just went back. I had a great life but wasnt in love with him. My friends tell me Im just lonely and it will pass (it will for you too) -- I know they are right and I wont really go back!
I think POI will eventually be together but it may not be beg of year like most predicted... He has been going through a lot this past year too! (It's really a lot of why we didnt work out I believe - timing was horrible for us). Readers have picked up on his stress, anxiety and moods but when ppl are going through big things in their life there's no way they can even consider trying to reach out to us, much less reconcile. For one, they are feeling too low and for two they have so much else on their minds. I cant really blame a reader for not knowing when his life will simplify and he will be able to think about "us" again! He too has an ex who is manipulative and pulls his strings.... she comes in and out of his life. I believe this is needed for them to have someone to keep them "not lonely" - our connection is too much to be that person, we cant do light and meaningless (he and I) and I suspect you cant either. QoC described it to me that he is enjoying a sexual relationship with someone because it's all he can manage right now emotionally!
Anyway, I think this is why sometimes these guys show up a year or even 5 later (if we are all really meant to be) -- This is why letting go is important! Not to bring them back but so that you can move on with life and be happy! If they really are your person then it will work out down the road!
What in the world is this? A typo? because it absolutely is not a word. An apostrophe I??
I'm not even a grammar nazi, but this one was flat out weird to me.
-
For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
-
For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartments. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
-
For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartments. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
^^^^ THIS! 100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand. Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well. When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work! We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry that needs folded, all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings. It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationships quicker than men. And explains why they come back sometimes years later!
-
this is true...men can't multitask for crap. LOL
-
For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartments. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
^^^^ THIS! 100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand. Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well. When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work! We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings. It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationships quicker than men. And explains why they come back sometimes years later!
Yup this is also why when a woman’s upset, it affects all areas of her life. Which is not always good. Men can turn it off. I know this type oh too well because I Have a love/hate relationship with alpha males hahah. I’ve tried the more emotional feminine ones but I just can’t do it. Too needy and I feel suffocated. They don’t even get my lady parts excited lmfao. Maybe this is how men feel about us lmfao. I like some independence so I can understand when they need to do their own thing. I have never met a dude who multitasks well. One thing is always at the forefront.
-
For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartments. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
^^^^ THIS! 100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand. Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well. When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work! We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings. It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationships quicker than men. And explains why they come back sometimes years later!
Yup this is also why when a woman’s upset, it affects all areas of her life. Which is not always good. Men can turn it off. I know this type oh too well because I Have a love/hate relationship with alpha males hahah. I’ve tried the more emotional feminine ones but I just can’t do it. Too needy and I feel suffocated. They don’t even get my lady parts excited lmfao. Maybe this is how men feel about us lmfao. I like some independence so I can understand when they need to do their own thing. I have never met a dude who multitasks well. One thing is always at the forefront.
LOL.
-
@icloud: Too many opinions from other people will cause confusion just like calling tooooooooo many psychics will do the same. Some will say you're rethinking things out of loneliness, others will say it's because maybe you still have some feelings that you pushed away that are still there for your ex. At the end of the day, you have to listen to YOU. This is a huge reason why a lot of relationships don't work. Too many voices in someone's ear giving their opinions as to what they should do or what they think going on. You are the one that had the connection with both people. Only you know what it feels like with each one. Only you can decide which route to take that "feels" right to you. I can definitely understand your hesitation with someone that has cheated, not just once, but twice. That's really tough. I think only you will be able to know or "feel" if he's changed or not. I wish you lots of luck in your situations though.
-
@icloud: Too many opinions from other people will cause confusion just like calling tooooooooo many psychics will do the same. Some will say you're rethinking things out of loneliness, others will say it's because maybe you still have some feelings that you pushed away that are still there for your ex. At the end of the day, you have to listen to YOU. This is a huge reason why a lot of relationships don't work. Too many voices in someone's ear giving their opinions as to what they should do or what they think going on. You are the one that had the connection with both people. Only you know what it feels like with each one. Only you can decide which route to take that "feels" right to you. I can definitely understand your hesitation with someone that has cheated, not just once, but twice. That's really tough. I think only you will be able to know or "feel" if he's changed or not. I wish you lots of luck in your situations though.
AMENNN
-
For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartments. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
^^^^ THIS! 100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand. Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well. When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work! We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry that needs folded, all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings. It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationships quicker than men. And explains why they come back sometimes years later!
this is true...men can't multitask for crap. LOL
I can multi-ta.... wait what was I doing just now? ;D
Joking aside I actually can multi-task just fine. The key I found is balance though if I really need to focus on something I will shift on only that. Though like LAW said we will bury feelings. I will do that but I can tell you one thing. When I find that one special person that I want to spend the rest of my life with I don't bury anything. I am completely open with them and it takes a lot for a guy to get there for someone. Because since we compartmentalize everything that when one section gets destroyed. It is hard for that hole to replace. So feelings get extra protected. That is also why it is hard for us to move on.
I want to say something on destiny vs free will. I am indifferent on the topic and can see both points but here is something to make you ponder about destiny. In destiny that actually would include your "free will" choices. Free will is just an illusion in destiny because guess what. In destiny, it was already determined you would make that choice. Yes you might think you had the choice but really you didn't. It was all planned out for you long before you even realized. Going to use this scene from one of the Matrix movies to explain it a bit better I think. As they actually had a similiar discuss regarding free will or choice.
https://youtu.be/dij287EZT50 (https://youtu.be/dij287EZT50)
Basically he is saying that you just have to think that you have a choice but really the choice was already made before you got there. Which in turn is destiny.
-
For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartments. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
^^^^ THIS! 100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand. Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well. When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work! We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry that needs folded, all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings. It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationships quicker than men. And explains why they come back sometimes years later!
this is true...men can't multitask for crap. LOL
I can multi-ta.... wait what was I doing just now? ;D
Joking aside I actually can multi-task just fine. The key I found is balance though if I really need to focus on something I will shift on only that. Though like LAW said we will bury feelings. I will do that but I can tell you one thing. When I find that one special person that I want to spend the rest of my life with I don't bury anything. I am completely open with them and it takes a lot for a guy to get there for someone. Because since we compartmentalize everything that when one section gets destroyed. It is hard for that hole to replace. So feelings get extra protected. That is also why it is hard for us to move on.
I want to say something on destiny vs free will. I am indifferent on the topic and can see both points but here is something to make you ponder about destiny. In destiny that actually would include your "free will" choices. Free will is just an illusion in destiny because guess what. In destiny, it was already determined you would make that choice. Yes you might think you had the choice but really you didn't. It was all planned out for you long before you even realized. Going to use this scene from one of the Matrix movies to explain it a bit better I think. As they actually had a similiar discuss regarding free will or choice.
https://youtu.be/dij287EZT50
Basically he is saying that you just have to think that you have a choice but really the choice was already made before you got there. Which in turn is destiny.
Such a good point.
-
Thanks to all of you, I really appreciate your feedback and also support...
It's so true that men don't know how to multi-task, for the most part...I feel like they like to focus on one thing at a time...and when they're stressed, instead of communicating those "feelings", they just shut it down and keep themselves even busier.
I also feel like it's even worse when they have a crazy ex still around...it's like that ex reminds you of what exactly it's like to have a relationship with somebody (EXTRA STRESS).
Men don't really THINK ABOUT their feelings, do they lol. I mean, I thought about these feelings that I've been feeling all day today and I realize that I really don't want to go back to my ex. I love him but i don't love him like "that."
I thought about what it is that I'm feeling (because unlike men we women know how to dissect our feelings LOL) and it's just that I'm really just ready to "settle down." I want stability. I want to start a family and I want to have kids before my biological clock shuts off (and I'm SO close lol).
My ex is a millionaire. I know that If I settled with him I would never have any issues as far as financial security...He would provide me with a good life. We can travel together. Not that I can't do these things now - traveling, having financial security etc, because I make a good living also, but my income is not passive like his is, so I'm still as busy as a bee and I don't really have much time to live the luxurious life like he is able to.
BUT....I don't feel emotionally "connected" to him at all anymore... I cant even tell if this is because of the broken trust or because I have literally grown out of him, because let me tell you- I used to be so IN LOVE with him. SO MADLY in love. The same reason why I gave him a second chance when he first cheated on me lol. So imagine what kind of damage it was done to me when he cheated on me.
BUT, I am rational. I don't want to choose someone just because I want to 'settle down'. I want to choose someone because I LOVE THEM so much (which in this case, it's my current POI).
I feel like If I got married to my ex, eventually down the line I would start thinking about the "what if' and become miserable. "Oh what if I had waited for my POI , then we would be together right now" - I dont want to have a single doubt like this when I'm actually married to somebody.
BUT here is also another thing- I heard that women are usually happier when we pick someone who loves us more than we love them. It's so clear that my ex is deeply in love with me....I'm not saying that my POI isn't...but he is in a hermit mode right now and he isn't "showing" it to me...and I'm thinking...well where is the guarnatee that my current POI will be truly READY? at the time that I would want him to? and before my biological clock runs out lol.
According to my trusted advisor, apparently this period is going to last until January... I have no problem being patient, but I also can't seem to control my growing curiosity of the "what if" scenario with my EX.
You guys see how conflicted I am right now? I feel like I don't even make sense. Sorry for all of this, I just needed to vent lol.
And @Sparky I love what you said about free will and destiny.
-
I have to say though, I do think when a guy meets a girl he really wants to be with, he will put all the baggage/delaying tactics to the side and really pursue her. I dated a guy once who just got out of a nasty divorce (like five months before) and he dated A LOT of women in between me and his ex, but when me and him started to date, he got serious with me quick..and I was with him for a while.
Not all men are the same, but a guy that really loves or has good intentions for you won't leave you wondering for too long...he won't risk losing you.
That should have been my first clue that the first POI was no good for me, he had no issue walking away from me for long periods of time and not caring whether or not that would mean I would be gone for good.
-
I have to say though, I do think when a guy meets a girl he really wants to be with, he will put all the baggage/delaying tactics to the side and really pursue her. I dated a guy once who just got out of a nasty divorce (like five months before) and he dated A LOT of women in between me and his ex, but when me and him started to date, he got serious with me quick..and I was with him for a while.
Not all men are the same, but a guy that really loves or has good intentions for you won't leave you wondering for too long...he won't risk losing you.
That should have been my first clue that the first POI was no good for me, he had no issue walking away from me for long periods of time and not caring whether or not that would mean I would be gone for good.
Yeah I agree. The thing is that it's not that he completely ghosted me, he did let me know about these things he's dealing with and that he is super stressed...and that his ex is pissing him off lol.. and I told him to take his time.
We previously had a talk where we both let eachother know about our intentions for this relationship....And we sort of had that "Exclusivity" talk. He said he doesnt want to see anyone else, and I said the same thing. But we just haven't made it into an official relationship.
-
I have to say though, I do think when a guy meets a girl he really wants to be with, he will put all the baggage/delaying tactics to the side and really pursue her. I dated a guy once who just got out of a nasty divorce (like five months before) and he dated A LOT of women in between me and his ex, but when me and him started to date, he got serious with me quick..and I was with him for a while.
Not all men are the same, but a guy that really loves or has good intentions for you won't leave you wondering for too long...he won't risk losing you.
That should have been my first clue that the first POI was no good for me, he had no issue walking away from me for long periods of time and not caring whether or not that would mean I would be gone for good.
Yeah I agree. The thing is that it's not that he completely ghosted me, he did let me know about these things he's dealing with and that he is super stressed...and that his ex is pissing him off lol.. and I told him to take his time.
We previously had a talk where we both let eachother know about our intentions for this relationship....And we sort of had that "Exclusivity" talk. He said he doesnt want to see anyone else, and I said the same thing. But we just haven't made it into an official relationship.
Ah ok, well that's totally different, it's good he's being open and honest with you. It's not good to rush into something when you are not ready (in his case) anyway.
-
Everyone is different. A lot of women can put aside their emotional needs and be with someone who is in love with them and provides for them. To me this is exactly why the divorce rate is so high and people are unhappy. You go into it not happy and it just goes downhill from there. I don’t believe that either of the two people should love the other person more but I could never be with someone just because he loved me more than I did. To me that’s settling. In that case I rather be alone tbh. I’d be miserable and prob end up leaving eventually. I understand the whole biological clock but what you’re doing is the right thing. I’d do the same in your position. Just the way we’re wired. Marriage is a partnership 50/50 not 70/30 or 100/0
-
Try being a guy that was dumped because your ex said: "When I am 80 and look back at my life. I don't think I will be happy with you." But you know two days prior you wanted a ring and everyone that saw you could see just how happy you were with me. She was also worried about her Biological clock. She just turned 30 earlier this year. I was looking at rings to propose to her this last summer. She had time with her biological clock because I wanted kids right away after our marriage which more likely would have been in 2019 if not maybe already happen this year. Now the current guy she is with. Her body language just looks completely closed off. I am not saying that to just sound good. I have had countless people see the same thing even my therapist. But yet she is still with that guy and I am waiting to see if the predictions happen in Jan. I always believe that her and I were meant to be together from the moment we started dating. I always said long before I talked to any psychic that we had a bond that I couldn't explain. Now all the psychics tell me that the bond is really strong and there still. So here is hoping she returns.
-
For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
My trusted psychic said my past relationship was completely done. and I believed it....still do. But I guess because we are humans, we sometimes ponder on things like this.....doesn't mean we "act" on our thoughts, right? lol
Sometimes I think we just have to hear ourselves talk.
I think this is why reading just with empaths is dangerous..because they just pick up on THOUGHTS and INTENTIONS, from what I understand. If my ex got a reading on me right now i'm pretty sure the empath psychic would tell him "oh she wants you back now...she is re-thinking her options and realizing she misses you"
LOL it would be hilarious.
-
Try being a guy that was dumped because your ex said: "When I am 80 and look back at my life. I don't think I will be happy with you." But you know two days prior you wanted a ring and everyone that saw you could see just how happy you were with me. She was also worried about her Biological clock. She just turned 30 earlier this year. I was looking at rings to propose to her this last summer. She had time with her biological clock because I wanted kids right away after our marriage which more likely would have been in 2019 if not maybe already happen this year. Now the current guy she is with. Her body language just looks completely closed off. I am not saying that to just sound good. I have had countless people see the same thing even my therapist. But yet she is still with that guy and I am waiting to see if the predictions happen in Jan. I always believe that her and I were meant to be together from the moment we started dating. I always said long before I talked to any psychic that we had a bond that I couldn't explain. Now all the psychics tell me that the bond is really strong and there still. So here is hoping she returns.
Wow your situation sounds very similar to mine. You sound like my ex talking haha! He keeps telling me my current guy isnt good for me and that he can treat me much much better and spoil me to all the luxuries of life. But the difference is that HE doesn't know what he's talking about and he'd just say anything to try to get me to change my mind and take his offer. You on the other hand actually sound like you and your ex had a genuine connection.... (not saying me and my ex didn't either, but that DIED after I made the final decision of being done with him because of how much damage he had caused in my heart)
It's true that sometimes people have to go through some shit to realize what they had. I hope it's the case for your ex. It's true that us women do compare our current relationship to past...we always wanna make sure our current one is the BEST one we've ever had, or else we will miss our old relationship and almost forget the down sides. I do hope she realizes that connection she has with you.
-
Try being a guy that was dumped because your ex said: "When I am 80 and look back at my life. I don't think I will be happy with you." But you know two days prior you wanted a ring and everyone that saw you could see just how happy you were with me. She was also worried about her Biological clock. She just turned 30 earlier this year. I was looking at rings to propose to her this last summer. She had time with her biological clock because I wanted kids right away after our marriage which more likely would have been in 2019 if not maybe already happen this year. Now the current guy she is with. Her body language just looks completely closed off. I am not saying that to just sound good. I have had countless people see the same thing even my therapist. But yet she is still with that guy and I am waiting to see if the predictions happen in Jan. I always believe that her and I were meant to be together from the moment we started dating. I always said long before I talked to any psychic that we had a bond that I couldn't explain. Now all the psychics tell me that the bond is really strong and there still. So here is hoping she returns.
Wow your situation sounds very similar to mine. You sound like my ex talking haha! He keeps telling me my current guy isnt good for me and that he can treat me much much better and spoil me to all the luxuries of life. But the difference is that HE doesn't know what he's talking about and he'd just say anything to try to get me to change my mind and take his offer. You on the other hand actually sound like you and your ex had a genuine connection.... (not saying me and my ex didn't either, but that DIED after I made the final decision of being done with him because of how much damage he had caused in my heart)
It's true that sometimes people have to go through some shit to realize what they had. I hope it's the case for your ex. It's true that us women do compare our current relationship to past...we always wanna make sure our current one is the BEST one we've ever had, or else we will miss our old relationship and almost forget the down sides. I do hope she realizes that connection she has with you.
haha I can assure you I am not your ex. Though maybe I wouldn't mind having his bank account for awhile. lol I actually don't think I could spoil my ex with luxuries but I know we would definitely live comfortably. I just know that I will provide for her and my family. That is my utmost importance but I just don't see it with this guy in photos of them. It is just so weird and I feel like he just sees her more as a trophy. Again not the only one to say that and I have had countless tell me that. We did have a genuine connection and that is what hurts the most about it. I never in my life felt the way about someone as I do her. It was completely unreal. When she broke up with me, I wanted her back so bad. I was trying to figure everything out. Where did I go wrong? What can I do to fix and improve myself. I did a lot of self reflection because I wanted to be the best person I could be. I didn't want to make the same mistakes. It was tough to go through that process and I did it alone which made it even harder.
I am hoping she remembers as well. In fact a lot of what I got back from Shelly's reading was her remember all the good in our relationship. Our relationship wasn't bad. We argued on occasion but during that time I was truly happy. Her mom told me that was the happiest she ever was. Right now she is going on 6 months with this guy. So still short but there are so many things that I have heard about their relationship that are red flags. I just hope what all the psychics say about her ending it right after the new year and reaching out happens. From there the road to reconciliation is a few months out. Which is something I made sure to clear up with them when I talk to a psychic. Since contact and reconciliation are two different things. I think once that first step occurs I will start to feel better about it.
-
Try being a guy that was dumped because your ex said: "When I am 80 and look back at my life. I don't think I will be happy with you." But you know two days prior you wanted a ring and everyone that saw you could see just how happy you were with me. She was also worried about her Biological clock. She just turned 30 earlier this year. I was looking at rings to propose to her this last summer. She had time with her biological clock because I wanted kids right away after our marriage which more likely would have been in 2019 if not maybe already happen this year. Now the current guy she is with. Her body language just looks completely closed off. I am not saying that to just sound good. I have had countless people see the same thing even my therapist. But yet she is still with that guy and I am waiting to see if the predictions happen in Jan. I always believe that her and I were meant to be together from the moment we started dating. I always said long before I talked to any psychic that we had a bond that I couldn't explain. Now all the psychics tell me that the bond is really strong and there still. So here is hoping she returns.
Wow your situation sounds very similar to mine. You sound like my ex talking haha! He keeps telling me my current guy isnt good for me and that he can treat me much much better and spoil me to all the luxuries of life. But the difference is that HE doesn't know what he's talking about and he'd just say anything to try to get me to change my mind and take his offer. You on the other hand actually sound like you and your ex had a genuine connection.... (not saying me and my ex didn't either, but that DIED after I made the final decision of being done with him because of how much damage he had caused in my heart)
It's true that sometimes people have to go through some shit to realize what they had. I hope it's the case for your ex. It's true that us women do compare our current relationship to past...we always wanna make sure our current one is the BEST one we've ever had, or else we will miss our old relationship and almost forget the down sides. I do hope she realizes that connection she has with you.
haha I can assure you I am not your ex. Though maybe I wouldn't mind having his bank account for awhile. lol I actually don't think I could spoil my ex with luxuries but I know we would definitely live comfortably. I just know that I will provide for her and my family. That is my utmost importance but I just don't see it with this guy in photos of them. It is just so weird and I feel like he just sees her more as a trophy. Again not the only one to say that and I have had countless tell me that. We did have a genuine connection and that is what hurts the most about it. I never in my life felt the way about someone as I do her. It was completely unreal. When she broke up with me, I wanted her back so bad. I was trying to figure everything out. Where did I go wrong? What can I do to fix and improve myself. I did a lot of self reflection because I wanted to be the best person I could be. I didn't want to make the same mistakes. It was tough to go through that process and I did it alone which made it even harder.
I am hoping she remembers as well. In fact a lot of what I got back from Shelly's reading was her remember all the good in our relationship. Our relationship wasn't bad. We argued on occasion but during that time I was truly happy. Her mom told me that was the happiest she ever was. Right now she is going on 6 months with this guy. So still short but there are so many things that I have heard about their relationship that are red flags. I just hope what all the psychics say about her ending it right after the new year and reaching out happens. From there the road to reconciliation is a few months out. Which is something I made sure to clear up with them when I talk to a psychic. Since contact and reconciliation are two different things. I think once that first step occurs I will start to feel better about it.
Good luck sparky! Maybe she was scared you weren’t going to propose soon so she left esp if people were in her ear about it. Have you reached out to her?
-
Try being a guy that was dumped because your ex said: "When I am 80 and look back at my life. I don't think I will be happy with you." But you know two days prior you wanted a ring and everyone that saw you could see just how happy you were with me. She was also worried about her Biological clock. She just turned 30 earlier this year. I was looking at rings to propose to her this last summer. She had time with her biological clock because I wanted kids right away after our marriage which more likely would have been in 2019 if not maybe already happen this year. Now the current guy she is with. Her body language just looks completely closed off. I am not saying that to just sound good. I have had countless people see the same thing even my therapist. But yet she is still with that guy and I am waiting to see if the predictions happen in Jan. I always believe that her and I were meant to be together from the moment we started dating. I always said long before I talked to any psychic that we had a bond that I couldn't explain. Now all the psychics tell me that the bond is really strong and there still. So here is hoping she returns.
Wow your situation sounds very similar to mine. You sound like my ex talking haha! He keeps telling me my current guy isnt good for me and that he can treat me much much better and spoil me to all the luxuries of life. But the difference is that HE doesn't know what he's talking about and he'd just say anything to try to get me to change my mind and take his offer. You on the other hand actually sound like you and your ex had a genuine connection.... (not saying me and my ex didn't either, but that DIED after I made the final decision of being done with him because of how much damage he had caused in my heart)
It's true that sometimes people have to go through some shit to realize what they had. I hope it's the case for your ex. It's true that us women do compare our current relationship to past...we always wanna make sure our current one is the BEST one we've ever had, or else we will miss our old relationship and almost forget the down sides. I do hope she realizes that connection she has with you.
haha I can assure you I am not your ex. Though maybe I wouldn't mind having his bank account for awhile. lol I actually don't think I could spoil my ex with luxuries but I know we would definitely live comfortably. I just know that I will provide for her and my family. That is my utmost importance but I just don't see it with this guy in photos of them. It is just so weird and I feel like he just sees her more as a trophy. Again not the only one to say that and I have had countless tell me that. We did have a genuine connection and that is what hurts the most about it. I never in my life felt the way about someone as I do her. It was completely unreal. When she broke up with me, I wanted her back so bad. I was trying to figure everything out. Where did I go wrong? What can I do to fix and improve myself. I did a lot of self reflection because I wanted to be the best person I could be. I didn't want to make the same mistakes. It was tough to go through that process and I did it alone which made it even harder.
I am hoping she remembers as well. In fact a lot of what I got back from Shelly's reading was her remember all the good in our relationship. Our relationship wasn't bad. We argued on occasion but during that time I was truly happy. Her mom told me that was the happiest she ever was. Right now she is going on 6 months with this guy. So still short but there are so many things that I have heard about their relationship that are red flags. I just hope what all the psychics say about her ending it right after the new year and reaching out happens. From there the road to reconciliation is a few months out. Which is something I made sure to clear up with them when I talk to a psychic. Since contact and reconciliation are two different things. I think once that first step occurs I will start to feel better about it.
Good luck sparky! Maybe she was scared you weren’t going to propose soon so she left esp if people were in her ear about it. Have you reached out to her?
I did way back but I can't right now. If need be I can explain in in a PM.
-
That’s so sad. I felt from reading your situation her friends play a part in it. This happened in my last relationship. Way too many chefs in the kitchen and people always want to tell others how to lead their life but can’t manage their own. This is why now I don’t tell anyone my business. Outside influence can really destroy a good thing. Hopefully she realizes it and comes to her senses.
-
That’s so sad. I felt from reading your situation her friends play a part in it. This happened in my last relationship. Way too many chefs in the kitchen and people always want to tell others how to lead their life but can’t manage their own. This is why now I don’t tell anyone my business. Outside influence can really destroy a good thing. Hopefully she realizes it and comes to her senses.
Yes they can. I think it is okay to get advice but there are somethings when it comes to a relationship that should only be discussed between your partner. This is her friends. I would randomly by my ex flowers. She was always happy about that and tell her friends. They would start to get upset with her anytime she mentioned I bought her flowers. They were jealous because their SO wouldn't do that for them. It was to the point that she didn't even want to share that she got flowers anymore with people. Her joy was gone about them.
So here is a nice thought regarding the destiny/free will. Out of all this what do you perceive as destiny or free will? You could say that my ex being friends with them could be destiny that she met them for a life changing event. To learn and grow from even though it separated us but the same destiny can bring us back together. Or do you think it was free will that she listened to them casing the break up? How is that to mess with your brain for a bit. :o
-
Sparky. You sound like a nice guy and I'm sorry you are going through this. But when someone threatens a restraining order, that's like an alarm bell going off telling you to wake up. Even if it was just other people around her manipulating things, and not what she truly wants or feels, that's a serious problem that does not bode well for a relationship.
She told you directly she is trying to move on, and you call that a stupid thing to say? Stupid in what way?
It is stupid because you should never tell your ex that. Why? 1) They already know that and you directly saying you are trying tells them you are still hung up on them months later. 2) If you are already in a new relationship, you should already be moved on. By not already moving on and going into another relationship. You are already jeopardizing that new relationship. It makes that relationship more of a rebound whether you would go back to your ex or not. It means you have not evaluated what you did wrong in a relationship and fixed that before a new one. So you will repeat all the same mistakes. That isn't fair to the new person you are dating either because you really are not fully invested.
-
For me the decision would already show up made. “Tempted but decided not to” or “tempted and decided to, broke up 6 mo and POI was still around”.
Man should not be letting you feel lonely, I guess in the first phases but that’s not really a good habit long term. A good psychic will see what decision you make.
There is no shame in re trying with your ex, it might give him some closure if it doesn’t work out again. He might be on the other side getting readings about YOU!
There’s also no shame in waiting POI out, just make sure if you ARENT committed you aren’t selling yourself short or missing opportunity for HIS hermit zone. I don’t like men like this, it tells me they don’t know how to communicate, and aren’t mature enough to maintain relationships (yes of any form) during hard times. If a lawsuit stresses you out, you should see my friend who is a lawyer juggling 3 kids, 35 cases, two offices and a love life. She manages to text and call all her romantic interests too. Excuses for not having coping mechanisms are never a good thing.
Just my .02! POI might be the one, but might be after you give your ex a shot or not, that’s why there is no real free will, a psychic will see what decision you make. (Good ones anyways)
Men aren’t women though. A lot of women can juggle things, men can’t. Men have all their life aspects in different compartments. You just have to know the type of man that you’re getting involved with and whether you can deal with that. Men with a lot of masculine qualities and more independent type tend to need a cave to escape to for some time. The more feminine ones don’t. Pick your poison, no one is perfect.
^^^^ THIS! 100%. It's what my therapist will tell me all day long and what woman dont understand. Men are so different than us. Most dont multitask well. When they're focused on work, they really are focused on work! We can think about them, work, our kids and the 10 loads of laundry that needs folded, all at the same time:). They are also capable of burying feelings. It's why there are sooo many articles out there as to why women actually move on from relationships quicker than men. And explains why they come back sometimes years later!
this is true...men can't multitask for crap. LOL
I can multi-ta.... wait what was I doing just now? ;D
Joking aside I actually can multi-task just fine. The key I found is balance though if I really need to focus on something I will shift on only that. Though like LAW said we will bury feelings. I will do that but I can tell you one thing. When I find that one special person that I want to spend the rest of my life with I don't bury anything. I am completely open with them and it takes a lot for a guy to get there for someone. Because since we compartmentalize everything that when one section gets destroyed. It is hard for that hole to replace. So feelings get extra protected. That is also why it is hard for us to move on.
I want to say something on destiny vs free will. I am indifferent on the topic and can see both points but here is something to make you ponder about destiny. In destiny that actually would include your "free will" choices. Free will is just an illusion in destiny because guess what. In destiny, it was already determined you would make that choice. Yes you might think you had the choice but really you didn't. It was all planned out for you long before you even realized. Going to use this scene from one of the Matrix movies to explain it a bit better I think. As they actually had a similiar discuss regarding free will or choice.
https://youtu.be/dij287EZT50 (https://youtu.be/dij287EZT50)
Basically he is saying that you just have to think that you have a choice but really the choice was already made before you got there. Which in turn is destiny.
That's a great point. I couldn't agree more :) Thank you for sharing it
-
That’s so sad. I felt from reading your situation her friends play a part in it. This happened in my last relationship. Way too many chefs in the kitchen and people always want to tell others how to lead their life but can’t manage their own. This is why now I don’t tell anyone my business. Outside influence can really destroy a good thing. Hopefully she realizes it and comes to her senses.
Yes they can. I think it is okay to get advice but there are somethings when it comes to a relationship that should only be discussed between your partner. This is her friends. I would randomly by my ex flowers. She was always happy about that and tell her friends. They would start to get upset with her anytime she mentioned I bought her flowers. They were jealous because their SO wouldn't do that for them. It was to the point that she didn't even want to share that she got flowers anymore with people. Her joy was gone about them. Same friends also would go to marriage counseling but behind the guys back go on dates with guys from match. Such a nice message to be sending to anyone. Another who was engaged called off the engagement and then went and had sex with two random guys the following week. She ended up going back to her fiancé two months later and then got married last September. When we broke up the first time. My ex did try dating to see if I was the one. She told me this story when we got back together and how horrible she felt. A guy ended up going to her place. They were making out and he was trying to get into her pants. All my ex was thinking at the time was what if I walked in at that moment since I still had a key for her place. She told her friends that worry. Their response: "If any guy did that regardless if he had a key I would get a restraining order." So you know what I am dealing with but the good news is the last two look to be no longer friends with my ex.
So here is a nice thought regarding the destiny/free will. Out of all this what do you perceive as destiny or free will? You could say that my ex being friends with them could be destiny that she met them for a life changing event. To learn and grow from even though it separated us but the same destiny can bring us back together. Or do you think it was free will that she listened to them casing the break up? How is that to mess with your brain for a bit. :o
Sparky with the greatest of respect to your POI, that's a very bizarre statement to make RE the restraining order. It's just something really odd to say. I also would agree that that flower business is unhealthy and immature. Her friends got jealous and so they put her off of receiving flowers from you. If they're behaving like that with flowers, imagine how they're like with other areas? Most people have to worry about a 3rd party woman/man around your POI, you'd have to worry about her friends at the very least. As Still Tired said, you are a lovely guy on here and especially buying her flowers and being really romantic with her, she's lucky to have you interested!
With regards to free will and destiny, I think your previous post was quite good on how our decisions (even last minute) are destined. I've just had an instance within the last few days where I wanted to contact someone but didn't and left it and he wanted to contact me but he was feeling the same thoughts and told me he was thinking "what if she's not interested/she tells me to go away/ignores me", then he decided last minute to contact me and I was so glad he did message me because I really wanted to contact but not make the first move. So his decision was meant to be. That's why I don't believe my ex cares for me because he's had a very long time to contact me and he hasn't, lol. I believe that everything is meant to be. Every decision you make isn't coincidence, I firmly believe that everything is meant.
-
With regards to free will and destiny, I think your previous post was quite good on how our decisions (even last minute) are destined. I've just had an instance within the last few days where I wanted to contact someone but didn't and left it and he wanted to contact me but he was feeling the same thoughts and told me he was thinking "what if she's not interested/she tells me to go away/ignores me", then he decided last minute to contact me and I was so glad he did message me because I really wanted to contact but not make the first move. So his decision was meant to be. That's why I don't believe my ex cares for me because he's had a very long time to contact me and he hasn't, lol. I believe that everything is meant to be. Every decision you make isn't coincidence, I firmly believe that everything is meant.
This is one thing I think you got wrong (jmo) is that EVERYTHING is meant. Life doesn't work on absolutes. It works within balancing. Some things are destiny, some are free will. Although everyone will absolutely die at some point in time, everyone doesn't die at the same time. Life's balancing act, has been revealed to me time and time again.
-
With regards to free will and destiny, I think your previous post was quite good on how our decisions (even last minute) are destined. I've just had an instance within the last few days where I wanted to contact someone but didn't and left it and he wanted to contact me but he was feeling the same thoughts and told me he was thinking "what if she's not interested/she tells me to go away/ignores me", then he decided last minute to contact me and I was so glad he did message me because I really wanted to contact but not make the first move. So his decision was meant to be. That's why I don't believe my ex cares for me because he's had a very long time to contact me and he hasn't, lol. I believe that everything is meant to be. Every decision you make isn't coincidence, I firmly believe that everything is meant.
This is one thing I think you got wrong (jmo) is that EVERYTHING is meant. Life doesn't work on absolutes. It works within balancing. Some things are destiny, some are free will. Although everyone will absolutely die at some point in time, everyone doesn't die at the same time. Life's balancing act, has been revealed to me time and time again.
Fair enough, but I don't think I got it wrong, I just think you have a different opinion to me which is fine. But personally I believe everything good and bad happens for a reason. Shitty things have happened to me and I've cried "why?", then looked back and realised better things have come in.