The Psychic Reviews
Relationship Psychology Discussions => My Story => Topic started by: fm on February 21, 2011, 12:46:24 PM
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Hi all, here is my story again, I am sure some of you guys might have knew it one way or another, in any case, this is not a very good ending for me and my ex, a supposedly SM or whatever. Only Kira and the healer knows. In anycase, what I did not reveal in any of the past posts is that I am a guy. I hope there are no homophobs here and people do not judge me for my orientation. Sorry no pics because I am more paranoid then anyone here of being identified!
Cut the story not so short but here goes, I met this guy online about 2 years back and have chatted quite a while until I flew down to meet him last Sep. I am from Singapore and its 815 pm on Feb 21 now and he is from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. When we first met, all sparks flew, all I can say is the emotional connection is so deep and it felt like we really loved each other almost instantly. We started Video Blogging, Video Chat, MSN and chats almost everyday for the next month or so. I flew down again end Sep and End Oct. However, there are too many things happening in his life like work, studies, mum's death, dad's illness etc, he started to wonder if he is jumping into things and he started to withdraw communications by about 90%. He wanted to break up with me and wait for 1 year before he finish his studies and if he would relocate to Sigapore. In Any Case, being in a Long Distance Relationship as it is, I began to be clingy and I missed him like crazy everyday and would cry non stop, I did state my feelings to him and I think he got frightened even more. However, initially he said he would not reject me, he loved me, he would not leave me, he would not hurt me in anyway and so on.
On Nov 2, when I was in New Zealand for a holiday, after reading his FB post, he seemed upset with work or something and I tried to call him one morning but he was with a colleague and he did not pick up and next thing I knew it, he texted me over MSN and said, I am going crazy and my mind is wondering everywhere and he would never talk to me or pick up my calls ever again. He said good bye and he blocked me in MSN, FB and every damn thing there is on the internet and refused to take my calls, answer my sms or even email. What is the most tragic thing is on Nov 4, I got involved in a horrific car crash in NZ where the car flipped like 3 times and I got a laceration on my head and had 3 stitches. During the 2 hour ordeal to be sent to hospital, I cried like as if I lost a father or a mother, I was alone in a foreign country with a friend who is as emotionaless as a block of wood and he is the driver! I was too angry to speak to him. What happened was that when I was crying like no one;'s business, I was crying because I missed my Dad and my Mum and of course I am not over the breakup, so I cried so much for my ex.
Came back to Singapore, of course I was devastated, and I could not let him go, was miserable for months and started to call all the psychics in CP, Winter, Abrielle, London, Uli, Jacqueline, etc etc all the top psyhics all told me yes he would come back, he was not ready, things happened too fast, yada yada yada. I even went to seek a local friend advise and she said that we shared 20 lifetimes together and I believe that he is my SM because of this. And all the positive stuff, I was clinging to all kinds of hope. I was so attached to him and started to talk to my friends and complain non stop about how he hurt me, how bad I felt, and I was hoping that someone pull me out of my misery, one by one each of them left me alone and they did not know what to talk or tell me. I was even called a "A Pussy Fishing for Sympathy" and I never spoken to a few people ever since. The relationship was so sour until I was wondering what the hell is happening. Is he worth all my attention and effort and so many relationship with my friends damaged in one way or another? That insult spurred me to see a counsellor, subconsciously, I was determined to get out of this mess after 3 months.
The last straw came this week. He was in Singapore for the past weekend and he did not even bother to contact me. I wrote an angry sms to him which said, I heard you are in Singapore and you did not look me up meant something. Do you really hate me that much and are you happy that you finally got rid of me? I maybe rush and clingy but I really loved you and is willing to wait for you. Please go reflect on yourself if you can be a relationship and be committed to someone, to me you are just a hypocrite. You are a fucking selfish man and dont ever say you do things for others, because you don't. Whatever that you said is all false aand you are thinking for yourself, just because you are afraid of emotions does not give you the right to treat others this way. And to think that I almost died in NZ indirectly because of you. But if you are really happy now, I really wished you all the best.
After FOUR FUCKING MONTHS, after this spiteful SMS, he finally replied. He said he could not believe he is replying. He came to Singapore with a group of friends and even if he wanted to, he would not be able to meet me (Fucking Liar, is it so hard to meet for supper?) U can say or think whatever you want but he would say this, he has given up on relationships (Its not only me, but with his ex of 4 years, he faced the same problems with me) , and perhaps his decision to listen to his friends to stop communicating with you makes him a selfish asshole but right now, my reaction proves that they were right. All the best to you and no more.
It seemed that it is all gone and what all the top Ps in CPs were all wrong, nothing is to happen to us anymore and people like tarot lady and maggie white were right, he simply ain't worth it. I do not know what to feel anymore. I do not know if I should be depressed, angry, or a stone is finally off my chest. Do I deserved to be treated this way? Is loving someone so hard? Is it wrong to be clingy and missing someone in a LDR? I am not sure what to do from here. I am talking to someone from the internet for a week almost everyday, but I stayed far away from emotions and chatted like friends, webcam and all. He was in toronto, and he flew back this early dawn hours. I finally met him in person today and we went for lunch and a movie. In the movie, we held hands, I feel comfortable talking to him and we could really chat. I do not know what the future enholds or I am ready for a relationship with him again. I am not sure he is nice because he too is lonely or looking for company or looking for fun. Besides he is talking to other people and Maggie White and someone else said he is a passing phase.
I do not know whether to believe in Psychics anymore. I am not sure if they just want our money. I am not sure if they can tell the future. Kira did a reading for me and it does not have good hopes for my ex and similar to this guy I am talking to, it is a passing phase, and I really do not know what will happen. Now I feel like shit and not sure how to move on or react to my ex.But deep inside I still love him and yearn for him to come back but by judging the situation it is impossible. After some cooling down, I wrote to him, do not give up on relationship even I am not the one for him, do not risk the chance of happiness with someone who is worthy of his time effort and love. I won't hate him and I wish him all the best. I tried to cry hard like I did previously, but I could not, I just could not, and not sure what I should do for now moving on. Anyone any views? Any ideas?
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fmradio - I FEEL your pain. My only gut reaction is that since he responded 4 month's later, he still thinks about you. BUT - we can't fix broken people. We can only fix ourselves.
I can feel your loss and the feeling of longing and it sucks.
glad you told us you're a guy. We need more guys
xxoo
PT
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haha how does it matter if I am a guy or not ? :P
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One other thing - I called Ellen Hartwell (great psychic - suggestion of aef) and something she said to me was very interesting. A SM breakup is simply horrible. No one is going to understand how you feel - especially rational friends who never experienced it.
I read another story that said some SM's reunite 10 years after a breakup. It is our decision if we want to sit and torture ourselves, or move on, heal and meet someone new. Maybe I am too believing but if all of the CP's said he is a SM, I would think he probably is. You can't just move on from a soul mate easily. I was able to 'move on' pretty quickly from my ex-husband of 14 years - father of my 3 kids who I have to still see a few times a week. Can you imagine if he was my SM? It would be torture but I feel very little when I see him. There is a difference. After my ex-husband and I split, it took me 4-5 month's and then I was able to start dating and eventually met someone who "rocked my world". Not the case after a SM breakup.........
But I also think once a karmic lesson has been taught, the SM relationship can end. I don't know - other people know a lot more about this then I do.
Just my 2 cents.
pt
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fm-- If he contacted you after four months, it would appear that he still thinks about you. No, you don't know what will happen in the future but right now, you have to heal yourself so if he ends up coming back to you , you will be ready. I know this sucks and the waiting and wondering is hard, but I feel it is a way to help you work on yourself and be okay with you!!! Good luck, thanks for sharing your story.
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I like getting a guys opinion. I have mostly women in my life.
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fm- you are amazing..and as courageous as ever...don't ever underestimate your power...you have grown so much stronger.
I know exactly how you feel..when this horrific thing happene to me I cursed my guides...I was angry at God..I couldnt understand how the universe makes things so hard for someone who is meant for you...but then I read an article on soul mates that said that Fate may present hurdles that test the love that soul mates have promised each other. Soulmates are meant to grow spiritually through tests of their love for each other and these tests are never easy. It may seem like you are being punished but it all serves a purpose.
P.S Im so glad you have us..we won't judge you and we're going through the same things my love.
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so glad you've found us here fm radio! Stay strong!
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thanks everyone i do not know what to hope for anymore. meet someone new and see what comes along.
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take it from me my friend...theres not much you can do at the moment.
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FM- I feel your pain over and over....and too much money spent on psychics....I started to not believe them anymore either...I loved some of the best psychics...but they either fed me what i wanted to here....or they were reading my heart's desire..I tried Uriella and she reinforced my beliefs....she described tattoos and things she wouldn't know...what she told me was not bs...it was what I needed to hear...
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I agree...enough of the bs...its time for us to stop thinking things will always work out..thats not life..and it certainly isnt our lives! :-\
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how long were you guys together? who have you spoken to on cp?
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way toooo many Uli, Winter, Abrielle, London, jacqueline, alison, natalie, neaeh, vicki joy, sable, and so much more, I spend like 1.5K USD talking to people trying to find hope that my "SM" would come back, but no. Urgh. Now I do not know what is happening to the new guy I am seeing.
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fm - that totally sucks about the $$ you spent. But look at it this way, it led you here to us, others just like you. :)
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oh fm....wow. i spent a lot last year i dont even want to know how much it was prob around $800 or so...
were any of them right?
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Haha what do you think? They said yes he would come back, we are SM we will be happy, blah blah blah, they said from Dec to Jan to Feb and he finally replied after a spiteful SMS to him by me. Haha. So they were right in the contact but the ending not so right
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what did uli say? and did all t he ladies say there was no hope?
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Many of them said got hope, he would contact me, we would be together etc, but everything else points to a NO in reality, so I have to move on.
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I pointed to move on too!!!! I have no reason to lead anybody on! I <3 you !!! ;)
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well look...Im not trying to butter you up but the best thing you can do is move on for now but dont underestimate the fact that he may come back. Ive had ex's come back after years! and it was totally unexpected...people will realize eventually what they've missed and couldve had..so I wouldnt cross that out of the future...but hang in there./..you do have a choice...and its your to make..but if he does come back and you have someone else...u know youre going to be stuck making a choice right lol
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u know what is the worst thing? U found someone and in a relationship and this SM comes back, then what choice am I going to make? Ditch the current one and hurt him? Then what difference am I with my ex?
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well...you are all about options and choices...we dont choose to hurt people but we have to do whats best for us. We have to follow our hearts..its our lives to love. If you dont do what you feel is best for yourself and go down the path where you feel you will be so happy and in love than you'll be dishonoring yourself also...so which is worst..hurting someone else or hurting yourself. We all go through this. Its never an easy decision to make either.
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fm, chances are, if you move on with someone else and he comes back, you won't feel the same way again. Don't worry about that now.
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thats true kira...but hey if its true love you may still be lol..but this new guy may sweep you off your feet and may never think ab old man ever again.
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fm - Live your life, enjoy the new guy (if you really like him), keep dating and don't worry about choices or what will happen when he comes back. I did the same thing - what if he comes back when I'm with December guy. Somehow it just all works out. If there is a choice to make, it will be clear.
I'm not trying to give you false hope - but - I thought my relationship with SM was over 100 times. I even remember saying what you said to kiki. If you look at the reality, it is done and over. Facebook connection severed, not returning calls/text/email, all the same stuff. SM did NOT want a relationship, didn't want to commit to me or anyone else, insisted on dating other people, decided that our conversations had to become surface so I wouldn't 'stay' attached, towards the end he wanted to keep all chatting via email to make sure I understood he didn't want what "this" was turning into, all of the BS. It was bad bad bad. He said, he is a commitment phobe with attachment problems and he refused to hurt me. That he was protecting me from himself. I've basically broken up with him twice. We've gone month's without any communication. It's been 6 month's of going back and forth like this. I've cried myself to sleep many nights. As bad as things were, there is no one who has ever made me feel as loved and cherished. Crazy - right? SM connection.........
If you read about soul mate connections, this is all so typical. CSK has a good link to some interesting articles.
Force yourself to get out there and date. Maybe the universe will throw you 'someone' good. Because if and when SM comes back, you will probably have another bumpy ride.
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Hmm, would you want to be with someone on and off and gives you pain constantly? I would rather be with someone who can treasure me and makes me happy all the time.
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life sin't always peaches and cream fm...right now you're bitter bc you're still hurt, as s the rest of us...but you're also only saying that bc your sm hasnt come runnng back to you yet...I bet if he did..you wouldnt know what to do? right? lol
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fm - because I feel deep in my heart he is worth the wait. He wasn't ready and I was. But I'm not just sitting here either. I've been dating here and there but nothing interesting.
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Hmm, I am sort of seeing this other guy now. However both of us broke up from our ex for a few months. We have been chatting for about 3 weeks and going, I think I can say I am dating him now, but right now, I am trying to go for a no strings attached relationship enjoying some intimacy and companionship. I do not know I think I like him, and he feels the same way. But the big question we have been discussing and talking is that are we seeking a rebound? A replacement for our EXes? Both of us are not sure, but certainly we are really enjoying our time together. One conclusion made, if I want to be together with him, I will let my ex go, SM or not, he is a selfish bastard, maybe time is too early to tell for this person, if we will make it as a couple in the future, I will not want to hurt him because of my attachment to my ex. Similarly he does not want to hurt me if he wants me to be a replacement for his ex. He is unsure of his feelings now, but we enjoy each other company. So what do you guys think?
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Fm, I think it's awesome. Look at how honest you are being with each other! You also each know how the other feels. I think there's something very liberating that comes with full disclosure. You don't have to hide who you are, what you're feeling, etc.
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I think starting out so honest is a great foundation for a relationship. It sounds like new guy is emotionally available? Always a nice thing. lol
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Yes available, we have been chating on MSN, Video Chats, SMS and Meeting in person almost everday, not the meeting part, but this is how I started off with my ex too, and I really wonder if this will last, I certainly hope so! I hope this guy is my SM instead hahaha. In anycase, at least I see his effort in making things work.
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Haha went out with the new guy today from 1 pm to about 11 pm. Watched No Strings Attached, Had Lunchner (Lunch+ Dinner, haha), he bought a new iphone, when we went to some park, we sort of looked for some bushes hid there and kiss and hugged like nothing for about 1 hour! The intimacy was good, we enjoyed it very much. Scary, was so afraid of being found out by other people! Haha. Still the big question came out that are we enjoying each other company because we like each other, or is it just about fulfilling a need or in a rebound because we do not have intimacy with our Ex A-Holes? He isnt sure of his feelings, and he does not want to hurt me if in the end it is just a rebound for him and asked me to give him time. IDK. For me, I like him, but if I were to be together with him, I will forget about my ex A-Hole and move on. Sometimes I think is ex A-Hole or B-Hole is worth our time, energy and love. Urgh.
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bushes!!!!!! hahahaha!!!! we need to talk... ;)
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awwwwww..really sweet...enjoy each moment... :)
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Ya it was good, hope it is not too much details for you guys. In any case, time will tell if we can be together :s
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no..thx for sharing...we'll let you know if its too much details...but I wanted to ask you a personal question
Are you scared to be seen with a man?
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That's really great fm!
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that's hilarious the bushes!! I read somewhere that if couples do spontaneious things like that it keeps the spark alive in a relationship!!!!!
But can't you get in trouble for doing that in Singapore? I mean isn't there a law that you can't even spit on the road?
Cute
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Haha. We arent having sex.. juz hugging and kissing away from the main pathway, but I think its quite scary haha. I did not litter there, yes chew gums are banned, littering for fined. So whats new ahah.
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sex? what's that?
lol
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getting your nut up lol..
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Pt cjean you guys crack me up!! LOL
Have you guys really not heard that before? Lol nobody?
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ya what is sex? Hmm
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lol JB I live in Canada and it's the first i've heard lol!
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I can't wait to try and use it some time here in Jersey. Nut Up. lol
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I said it to my friend today.
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Haha. Actually, I aded Kira on FB, would like to do the same for the regulars in the forum, everyone who wants to be friend with me on FB, please PM me your email addy. :P Then we can also see each other pictures haha.
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Wow thas a long story but i can understand :)