The Psychic Reviews

Relationship Psychology Discussions => Connect With Others => Topic started by: happyk on April 16, 2019, 05:07:20 AM

Title: Has this happened to you?
Post by: happyk on April 16, 2019, 05:07:20 AM
So, a psychic tells you that you are going to meet your new love interest at a fair in summer. It just so happens that you are invited to a fair by your friend. You suddenly remember the prediction and you agree to with your fingers crossed. You go to the fair and you are filled with anticipation and lo and behold you meet a beautiful stranger and you fall in love and live happily ever after or for a year.

We have all been told that we are not to have any expectations and let go of what we want so that we are not clinging on to it. I agree with that to an extent as I think we are feeding obsessive energy to whatever we want. However, my question is have any of your predictions come to pass when you expected it to pass? Or is that like finding a unicorn? I have never heard anyone share anything where they get something they are hoping to receive at the time they are expecting it.
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: ladya on April 16, 2019, 11:55:31 AM
I’ve had a few predict my now bf. One even predicted how many years older than me he is when I’d meet him, looks. Etc. but that reader disappeared off keen one day.
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: Sweetsydney2000 on April 16, 2019, 12:20:17 PM
I’ve had hundreds of predictions come to pass over the years and I can honestly say it’s when I haven’t been expecting it, it’s been when I’ve let go and thought ‘f*ck it! Whatever happens, happens...’ is when I got some progression.
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: LAW1974 on April 16, 2019, 12:49:05 PM
No one has ever been that specific with me before....  I had several top readers tell me I would meet someone in March/April timeframe.  I met my now guy the first weekend in February and its the first guy that things have literally gone completely smoothly for a solid 2.5 months with no red flags, no bumps, etc in a VERY long time!  I am wondering if it is him and their timing was just a tad off?  And to your note, I wasnt expecting him at all....  I was somewhere with a friend not really wanting to be there and he came out of nowhere and i wasnt even sure the first night if i liked him? 

But I think I agree if someone told me too many details like that - I'd be expecting it too much and it wouldnt manifest? 
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: Sparkle002 on April 16, 2019, 02:05:36 PM
Hmm good question.

I had about 5-6 readers accurately predict my POI.

Celeste (CP) and Yona were the first back in 2016 to predict him
I finally met him March of 2018- talk about a WAIT!

During that 2 years there were at least 2 guys I thought were the guy....so I’d say my anticipation or expectation went up only when the guy I was dealing with at the time - I thought was “it”. I realized they werent it when I tried to make predictions fit lol....

And just like that, I too went out with a friend to a networking event at a sushi spot and didnt want to be there, wasn’t feeling all that confident and boom, ran into my POI. What’s funny is I was sitting down at the bar and he literally came up and sat next to me - not that he was eyeing me, it was because he was hungry (and of course I have him one of my sushi rolls lol)

Here is the order of the readers who predicted him (Celeste (CP), Yona, Delores (CP), Cookie, Indio(CP), Sherrylynn)

So for sure “that day” I wasn’t looking

Most of all of them predicted his “situation” - this is how I knew it was him
But they did describe him pretty good - Height, (Sherrylynn described him to a T - medium tall guy muscular/football build and even mentioned that he had a "M and A" in his name - Now that's specific - and he does! lol), Indio predicted specifics like he owned his own business, tall and lives close to me (he lives 15 mins away), etc etc

So for sure “that day” I wasn’t looking
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: happyk on April 17, 2019, 05:41:06 AM
I see. Sounds like it almost means that what you expect does never happen when you expect it 🤷🏻‍♀️
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: aquagirl on April 17, 2019, 02:57:32 PM
I see. Sounds like it almost means that what you expect does never happen when you expect it 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's because when you expect something, even when you think positively about it, you are choking that energy, it's a for of resistance. That's why things come when you let it go. that doesn't mean you have to give up. It just means not focusing on it and being okay if it doesn't happen.  Expectation is a form of resistance, what you resist persists.
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: happyk on April 17, 2019, 04:30:37 PM
I see. Sounds like it almost means that what you expect does never happen when you expect it 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's because when you expect something, even when you think positively about it, you are choking that energy, it's a for of resistance. That's why things come when you let it go. that doesn't mean you have to give up. It just means not focusing on it and being okay if it doesn't happen.  Expectation is a form of resistance, what you resist persists.

I'm gonna turn into f*cking Elsa at this rate.
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: aquagirl on April 18, 2019, 02:18:48 AM
I see. Sounds like it almost means that what you expect does never happen when you expect it 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's because when you expect something, even when you think positively about it, you are choking that energy, it's a for of resistance. That's why things come when you let it go. that doesn't mean you have to give up. It just means not focusing on it and being okay if it doesn't happen.  Expectation is a form of resistance, what you resist persists.

LMAO sorry, I can't stop laughing because I have felt the same, I get the "let it go" song in my head at times lmao  What i do is I set my intention and then say but I'll be fine if it doesn't happen. Then i go on with my day. If that situation comes back into my mind, I repeat my intention and refocus my energy on something else. I do this especially with negative thoughts. I say okay, I'm feeling this because of this. thats okay. But my intention is this. Repressing that negative will set you back, as its burning in the background. And eventually i actually start feeling better about it, which helps my manifestation. I try to redirect my focus when I think too much about anything around that topic.    What i have noticed is i can manifest a sale, a rare item, a situation that isn't overly important. And when i sat down and thought why can i do this and not what i truly want? I realized that the key with those was I just said i need a bedspread for less than 100$ in that powder blue that's hard to find. I set my intention and then i don't think about it anymore. I end up forgetting about it until i find it in that colour for that price. When it's something dear to us we are afraid of letting it go because we feel we will lose it, so we hold on and choke that energy. If we can learn to apply the idea to that as the bedspread then we can manifest anything. but we are human and flawed and it's not easy and takes practise and reprogramming our subconscious. 

I'm gonna turn into f*cking Elsa at this rate.
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: hope36 on April 18, 2019, 02:52:19 AM
It's because when you expect something, even when you think positively about it, you are choking that energy, it's a for of resistance. That's why things come when you let it go. that doesn't mean you have to give up. It just means not focusing on it and being okay if it doesn't happen.  Expectation is a form of resistance, what you resist persists.

ughhhhhh... not at this post, ugh-ing at myself
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: happyk on April 18, 2019, 02:56:39 AM
It's because when you expect something, even when you think positively about it, you are choking that energy, it's a for of resistance. That's why things come when you let it go. that doesn't mean you have to give up. It just means not focusing on it and being okay if it doesn't happen.  Expectation is a form of resistance, what you resist persists.

ughhhhhh... not at this post, ugh-ing at myself

Whatcha ughing at Hope? lol. Is that again prediction getting pushed because of expectation thing?
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: hope36 on April 18, 2019, 03:06:03 AM
It's because when you expect something, even when you think positively about it, you are choking that energy, it's a for of resistance. That's why things come when you let it go. that doesn't mean you have to give up. It just means not focusing on it and being okay if it doesn't happen.  Expectation is a form of resistance, what you resist persists.

ughhhhhh... not at this post, ugh-ing at myself

Whatcha ughing at Hope? lol. Is that again prediction getting pushed because of expectation thing?

Ugh-ing coz I cant get poi out of my head, like at all. No contact for 8months now, and its still raw AF
Mattie actually told me multiple times, to not over-analyze it and that he is coming back, to just tell the universe that this is what I want, and relax/live my life and let the universe do its thing... I just cant seem to do the second part.. am trying!!!!

Predictions aren't getting pushed out, but majority of readers (Yona, Mattie to name the heavy hitters) have the re-connect at late-summer (for initial contact) so its still few months out..
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: hope36 on April 18, 2019, 03:07:34 AM
It's because when you expect something, even when you think positively about it, you are choking that energy, it's a for of resistance. That's why things come when you let it go. that doesn't mean you have to give up. It just means not focusing on it and being okay if it doesn't happen.  Expectation is a form of resistance, what you resist persists.

But needed to see this today, thanks!
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: happyk on April 18, 2019, 03:12:47 AM
It's because when you expect something, even when you think positively about it, you are choking that energy, it's a for of resistance. That's why things come when you let it go. that doesn't mean you have to give up. It just means not focusing on it and being okay if it doesn't happen.  Expectation is a form of resistance, what you resist persists.

ughhhhhh... not at this post, ugh-ing at myself

Whatcha ughing at Hope? lol. Is that again prediction getting pushed because of expectation thing?

Ugh-ing coz I cant get poi out of my head, like at all. No contact for 8months now, and its still raw AF
Mattie actually told me multiple times, to not over-analyze it and that he is coming back, to just tell the universe that this is what I want, and relax/live my life and let the universe do its thing... I just cant seem to do the second part.. am trying!!!!

Predictions aren't getting pushed out, but majority of readers (Yona, Mattie to name the heavy hitters) have the re-connect at late-summer (for initial contact) so its still few months out..

I hear you. Luckily, for me after three months it's gotten a lot easier. However, unless I hear from him the ones giving negative predictions are correct and that leaves out Yona, Mattie and many more popular ones.

It is really difficult to live life like nothing has happened when the person you love walks away but apparently our sadness and tears serve no purpose.
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: tacobelle914 on April 18, 2019, 03:25:16 PM
I think if something is meant to happen, it will... but life is funny and it usually does come to fruition when we least expect it.

However, there are some things that are meant to occur at a certain time, whether you expect it or not.

My opinion on this is - clinging to an expectation creates worry at best, and disappointment at worst.
Hold the space in your heart, knowing that good things will come, and let the universe do the rest of the work.

---

As far as 'letting go'... it's ok to talk yourself through whatever you are feeling. Try understanding why you feel the way you do without centering your reasoning around the other person.
When I've been in difficult situations, this helped me acknowledge and release whatever negative energies I was feeling or experiencing, and realize that while I cannot influence another person's actions that I could choose to react in a way that serves me.

Also, trying to make yourself let go of someone actually has the opposite effect in my opinion, because you end up attempting to suppress or ignore strong emotions that will eventually come back up.

Anyway, that's the best advice/insight I have, as it has worked for me. I hope it is helpful!
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: happyk on April 18, 2019, 04:43:24 PM
I think if something is meant to happen, it will... but life is funny and it usually does come to fruition when we least expect it.

However, there are some things that are meant to occur at a certain time, whether you expect it or not.

My opinion on this is - clinging to an expectation creates worry at best, and disappointment at worst.
Hold the space in your heart, knowing that good things will come, and let the universe do the rest of the work.

---

As far as 'letting go'... it's ok to talk yourself through whatever you are feeling. Try understanding why you feel the way you do without centering your reasoning around the other person.
When I've been in difficult situations, this helped me acknowledge and release whatever negative energies I was feeling or experiencing, and realize that while I cannot influence another person's actions that I could choose to react in a way that serves me.

Also, trying to make yourself let go of someone actually has the opposite effect in my opinion, because you end up attempting to suppress or ignore strong emotions that will eventually come back up.

Anyway, that's the best advice/insight I have, as it has worked for me. I hope it is helpful!

Hi Tacobelle, I think after all these readings we know not to hang on to anything but you know how difficult it is. And somedays, I don't even think good things are coming. it's good to be positive but I've seen the nicest people with shitty lives. Where's their universe? This is just a rhetorical question, but you know what I mean? I think we should always be prepared for the worst and just be realistic. Don't lose your sleep over something you can't help or try not to lose your sleep but since you agree destiny is real things that are supposed to happen happen anyways. And some of us like me with anxiety can't help worrying.
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: tacobelle914 on April 18, 2019, 05:40:43 PM
I think if something is meant to happen, it will... but life is funny and it usually does come to fruition when we least expect it.

However, there are some things that are meant to occur at a certain time, whether you expect it or not.

My opinion on this is - clinging to an expectation creates worry at best, and disappointment at worst.
Hold the space in your heart, knowing that good things will come, and let the universe do the rest of the work.

---

As far as 'letting go'... it's ok to talk yourself through whatever you are feeling. Try understanding why you feel the way you do without centering your reasoning around the other person.
When I've been in difficult situations, this helped me acknowledge and release whatever negative energies I was feeling or experiencing, and realize that while I cannot influence another person's actions that I could choose to react in a way that serves me.

Also, trying to make yourself let go of someone actually has the opposite effect in my opinion, because you end up attempting to suppress or ignore strong emotions that will eventually come back up.

Anyway, that's the best advice/insight I have, as it has worked for me. I hope it is helpful!

Hi Tacobelle, I think after all these readings we know not to hang on to anything but you know how difficult it is. And somedays, I don't even think good things are coming. it's good to be positive but I've seen the nicest people with shitty lives. Where's their universe? This is just a rhetorical question, but you know what I mean? I think we should always be prepared for the worst and just be realistic. Don't lose your sleep over something you can't help or try not to lose your sleep but since you agree destiny is real things that are supposed to happen happen anyways. And some of us like me with anxiety can't help worrying.

Hi happyk,

I realize a lot of things are waaaay easier said than done. Though I have methods or thought processes that work for me, it doesn't mean I don't have bad days, or doubts and worries that creep in, too.

Shitty things happen all the time to good people. Good things happen to shitty people.

To me, the trick is handling these things as they come.
 
This thread is about expectations... all I am saying is that while it may not necessarily change an outcome, focusing on/waiting for an expected event only adds to whatever anxiety you may be experiencing surrounding a situation (which makes everything much more generally unpleasant).

There is no reason to feel bad for being hopeful. Good things will happen in everyone's life, but if you wait every day for one good thing to happen you're going to miss everything else and only see the bad.
Managing expectations is just a way to keep you from being consumed by something specific that hasn't happened (either positive or negative).

I have been diagnosed with GAD, but I do my best to manage it by trying to reshape my thought process surrounding whatever is happening. I'm not always successful lol.

Anyway, it's kind of hard to express what I am trying to say in text form.

All I know is that the more I think about something happening in a specific way, the more anxious I get when it doesn't happen. So each day where I am expecting something that doesn't come to pass becomes a bad day. When I shift my focus to the present, knowing that good things are coming my way (eff whatever bad things come too, I'll deal with those when I have to) then it is a lot easier to enjoy life and basically shift my focus away from a fear or scarcity based mindset to a more grateful and balanced one.

Not proclaiming any miracles here, it's not easy and a lot of the time I have to listen to a crap ton of affirmations on YouTube to not obsess over something lol! Walking in nature helps me, too.

But I think allowing yourself to feel what you feel, processing it, and then choosing to focus on the positive things in your life right now is the only way I have learned to remain (somewhat) balanced in times of pain, chaos and fear/doubt.
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: happyk on April 18, 2019, 06:04:44 PM
I think if something is meant to happen, it will... but life is funny and it usually does come to fruition when we least expect it.

However, there are some things that are meant to occur at a certain time, whether you expect it or not.

My opinion on this is - clinging to an expectation creates worry at best, and disappointment at worst.
Hold the space in your heart, knowing that good things will come, and let the universe do the rest of the work.

---

As far as 'letting go'... it's ok to talk yourself through whatever you are feeling. Try understanding why you feel the way you do without centering your reasoning around the other person.
When I've been in difficult situations, this helped me acknowledge and release whatever negative energies I was feeling or experiencing, and realize that while I cannot influence another person's actions that I could choose to react in a way that serves me.

Also, trying to make yourself let go of someone actually has the opposite effect in my opinion, because you end up attempting to suppress or ignore strong emotions that will eventually come back up.

Anyway, that's the best advice/insight I have, as it has worked for me. I hope it is helpful!

Hi Tacobelle, I think after all these readings we know not to hang on to anything but you know how difficult it is. And somedays, I don't even think good things are coming. it's good to be positive but I've seen the nicest people with shitty lives. Where's their universe? This is just a rhetorical question, but you know what I mean? I think we should always be prepared for the worst and just be realistic. Don't lose your sleep over something you can't help or try not to lose your sleep but since you agree destiny is real things that are supposed to happen happen anyways. And some of us like me with anxiety can't help worrying.

Hi happyk,

I realize a lot of things are waaaay easier said than done. Though I have methods or thought processes that work for me, it doesn't mean I don't have bad days, or doubts and worries that creep in, too.

Shitty things happen all the time to good people. Good things happen to shitty people.

To me, the trick is handling these things as they come.
 
This thread is about expectations... all I am saying is that while it may not necessarily change an outcome, focusing on/waiting for an expected event only adds to whatever anxiety you may be experiencing surrounding a situation (which makes everything much more generally unpleasant).

There is no reason to feel bad for being hopeful. Good things will happen in everyone's life, but if you wait every day for one good thing to happen you're going to miss everything else and only see the bad.
Managing expectations is just a way to keep you from being consumed by something specific that hasn't happened (either positive or negative).

I have been diagnosed with GAD, but I do my best to manage it by trying to reshape my thought process surrounding whatever is happening. I'm not always successful lol.

Anyway, it's kind of hard to express what I am trying to say in text form.

All I know is that the more I think about something happening in a specific way, the more anxious I get when it doesn't happen. So each day where I am expecting something that doesn't come to pass becomes a bad day. When I shift my focus to the present, knowing that good things are coming my way (eff whatever bad things come too, I'll deal with those when I have to) then it is a lot easier to enjoy life and basically shift my focus away from a fear or scarcity based mindset to a more grateful and balanced one.

Not proclaiming any miracles here, it's not easy and a lot of the time I have to listen to a crap ton of affirmations on YouTube to not obsess over something lol! Walking in nature helps me, too.

But I think allowing yourself to feel what you feel, processing it, and then choosing to focus on the positive things in your life right now is the only way I have learned to remain (somewhat) balanced in times of pain, chaos and fear/doubt.

So, belle. We're just doing basically the same thing. I'm not saying it's easier for you but you just seem to be more successful than I am. I'm not an ungrateful person, I am grateful and look at the good things in my life and but they are not enough. And my awareness of the lack of abundance is strong. I'd appreciate if you tell us how do you maintain that balance though. Thanks for sharing, Belle!
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: tacobelle914 on April 18, 2019, 07:22:28 PM
I think if something is meant to happen, it will... but life is funny and it usually does come to fruition when we least expect it.

However, there are some things that are meant to occur at a certain time, whether you expect it or not.

My opinion on this is - clinging to an expectation creates worry at best, and disappointment at worst.
Hold the space in your heart, knowing that good things will come, and let the universe do the rest of the work.

---

As far as 'letting go'... it's ok to talk yourself through whatever you are feeling. Try understanding why you feel the way you do without centering your reasoning around the other person.
When I've been in difficult situations, this helped me acknowledge and release whatever negative energies I was feeling or experiencing, and realize that while I cannot influence another person's actions that I could choose to react in a way that serves me.

Also, trying to make yourself let go of someone actually has the opposite effect in my opinion, because you end up attempting to suppress or ignore strong emotions that will eventually come back up.

Anyway, that's the best advice/insight I have, as it has worked for me. I hope it is helpful!

Hi Tacobelle, I think after all these readings we know not to hang on to anything but you know how difficult it is. And somedays, I don't even think good things are coming. it's good to be positive but I've seen the nicest people with shitty lives. Where's their universe? This is just a rhetorical question, but you know what I mean? I think we should always be prepared for the worst and just be realistic. Don't lose your sleep over something you can't help or try not to lose your sleep but since you agree destiny is real things that are supposed to happen happen anyways. And some of us like me with anxiety can't help worrying.

Hi happyk,

I realize a lot of things are waaaay easier said than done. Though I have methods or thought processes that work for me, it doesn't mean I don't have bad days, or doubts and worries that creep in, too.

Shitty things happen all the time to good people. Good things happen to shitty people.

To me, the trick is handling these things as they come.
 
This thread is about expectations... all I am saying is that while it may not necessarily change an outcome, focusing on/waiting for an expected event only adds to whatever anxiety you may be experiencing surrounding a situation (which makes everything much more generally unpleasant).

There is no reason to feel bad for being hopeful. Good things will happen in everyone's life, but if you wait every day for one good thing to happen you're going to miss everything else and only see the bad.
Managing expectations is just a way to keep you from being consumed by something specific that hasn't happened (either positive or negative).

I have been diagnosed with GAD, but I do my best to manage it by trying to reshape my thought process surrounding whatever is happening. I'm not always successful lol.

...........

So, belle. We're just doing basically the same thing. I'm not saying it's easier for you but you just seem to be more successful than I am. I'm not an ungrateful person, I am grateful and look at the good things in my life and but they are not enough. And my awareness of the lack of abundance is strong. I'd appreciate if you tell us how do you maintain that balance though. Thanks for sharing, Belle!

happyk - I see what you're saying.

So one thing that really really helps me is that I work next to a nature preserve/park and am able to walk for an hour during my break when it is nice out.

I LOVE nature, and I cannot count how many days that started off really rough got a bit better because I took the time to walk. In the beginning I'd walk and think about a million things, but in time I learned to take deep breaths when my thoughts were getting out of control, and focus on something nice (the clouds, a bird/animal, trees, etc.)

If I don't walk at lunch, I try to take a long walk with my dog after work. Basically, spending quiet time outdoors to just be silent and get away from overwhelming environments (like being alone in my bedroom with my thoughts) was a HUGE help to me. It's amazing how much putting one foot in front of the other can be a legitimate distraction and serve as a kind of meditative act. Sunshine also helps. :)

Moving the body and quieting the mind seems to be the equation that keeps me most consistently in-check.
After just walking for a while, I also took up Yoga, realizing that my sedentary job and lack of motivation were not great for my mental or physical health. I started slow and actually fell off of it for a few months, but now that I am back and getting in the swing of it again, it is really helpful. If nothing else, it gives me something to fill my evenings with... a pleasant distraction that does not require tons of socializing and is good for me in the long run.

I think you could substitute yoga for any hobby/activity, as long as it is something that you enjoy and does not drain your energy. Even better if it is good for you... but you do not want whatever you choose to feel like a chore. It may be rough motivating yourself from time to time, but you should choose something that makes you feel better once you've done it.

Meditating has also been helpful. Honestly, it is the thing I am the worst at, but I do try to meditate for about 10 minutes whenever I can. Guided meditations are often better for me, since I tend to get easily distracted. This has helped me get in touch with my own intuition. I try sometimes to just sit silently and listen to myself, and while sometimes nothing much happens... other times, I'll get insight into something.

If I am facing some type of challenge, these activities often help because I am able to spend some time enjoying/embracing my own company without forcing it or thinking about what I should/shouldn't be doing. Over time it has helped me have more conversations with myself and get to the root of some of my insecurities and fears, too.

There have even been times where I've gone walking in a park just so I could cry it out and felt ten times better for it. I'm not any type of expert but I've made a real effort to learn how to listen to myself and figure out the things that make me happy and feel at peace.

One of the biggest things, though, is learning to forgive myself for not being perfect. For having days where the fears I thought I healed come to the surface and fight for control. When I walk, or meditate, or do yoga, and then something happens and I'm crying 5 minutes later. I know I have the tools to make tomorrow a better day, so I don't beat myself up as much for being human. This is something I always have to relearn when in a bad place, but the knowledge is there and it really really helps me get back on track.

This has been a super long winded post, and there are many other little things that have helped me along the way. I hope that you can use some of what works for me in your situation. <3
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: happyk on April 19, 2019, 04:44:55 AM
I think if something is meant to happen, it will... but life is funny and it usually does come to fruition when we least expect it.

However, there are some things that are meant to occur at a certain time, whether you expect it or not.

My opinion on this is - clinging to an expectation creates worry at best, and disappointment at worst.
Hold the space in your heart, knowing that good things will come, and let the universe do the rest of the work.

---

As far as 'letting go'... it's ok to talk yourself through whatever you are feeling. Try understanding why you feel the way you do without centering your reasoning around the other person.
When I've been in difficult situations, this helped me acknowledge and release whatever negative energies I was feeling or experiencing, and realize that while I cannot influence another person's actions that I could choose to react in a way that serves me.

Also, trying to make yourself let go of someone actually has the opposite effect in my opinion, because you end up attempting to suppress or ignore strong emotions that will eventually come back up.

Anyway, that's the best advice/insight I have, as it has worked for me. I hope it is helpful!

Hi Tacobelle, I think after all these readings we know not to hang on to anything but you know how difficult it is. And somedays, I don't even think good things are coming. it's good to be positive but I've seen the nicest people with shitty lives. Where's their universe? This is just a rhetorical question, but you know what I mean? I think we should always be prepared for the worst and just be realistic. Don't lose your sleep over something you can't help or try not to lose your sleep but since you agree destiny is real things that are supposed to happen happen anyways. And some of us like me with anxiety can't help worrying.

Hi happyk,

I realize a lot of things are waaaay easier said than done. Though I have methods or thought processes that work for me, it doesn't mean I don't have bad days, or doubts and worries that creep in, too.

Shitty things happen all the time to good people. Good things happen to shitty people.

To me, the trick is handling these things as they come.
 
This thread is about expectations... all I am saying is that while it may not necessarily change an outcome, focusing on/waiting for an expected event only adds to whatever anxiety you may be experiencing surrounding a situation (which makes everything much more generally unpleasant).

There is no reason to feel bad for being hopeful. Good things will happen in everyone's life, but if you wait every day for one good thing to happen you're going to miss everything else and only see the bad.
Managing expectations is just a way to keep you from being consumed by something specific that hasn't happened (either positive or negative).

I have been diagnosed with GAD, but I do my best to manage it by trying to reshape my thought process surrounding whatever is happening. I'm not always successful lol.

...........

So, belle. We're just doing basically the same thing. I'm not saying it's easier for you but you just seem to be more successful than I am. I'm not an ungrateful person, I am grateful and look at the good things in my life and but they are not enough. And my awareness of the lack of abundance is strong. I'd appreciate if you tell us how do you maintain that balance though. Thanks for sharing, Belle!

happyk - I see what you're saying.

So one thing that really really helps me is that I work next to a nature preserve/park and am able to walk for an hour during my break when it is nice out.

I LOVE nature, and I cannot count how many days that started off really rough got a bit better because I took the time to walk. In the beginning I'd walk and think about a million things, but in time I learned to take deep breaths when my thoughts were getting out of control, and focus on something nice (the clouds, a bird/animal, trees, etc.)

If I don't walk at lunch, I try to take a long walk with my dog after work. Basically, spending quiet time outdoors to just be silent and get away from overwhelming environments (like being alone in my bedroom with my thoughts) was a HUGE help to me. It's amazing how much putting one foot in front of the other can be a legitimate distraction and serve as a kind of meditative act. Sunshine also helps. :)

Moving the body and quieting the mind seems to be the equation that keeps me most consistently in-check.
After just walking for a while, I also took up Yoga, realizing that my sedentary job and lack of motivation were not great for my mental or physical health. I started slow and actually fell off of it for a few months, but now that I am back and getting in the swing of it again, it is really helpful. If nothing else, it gives me something to fill my evenings with... a pleasant distraction that does not require tons of socializing and is good for me in the long run.

I think you could substitute yoga for any hobby/activity, as long as it is something that you enjoy and does not drain your energy. Even better if it is good for you... but you do not want whatever you choose to feel like a chore. It may be rough motivating yourself from time to time, but you should choose something that makes you feel better once you've done it.

Meditating has also been helpful. Honestly, it is the thing I am the worst at, but I do try to meditate for about 10 minutes whenever I can. Guided meditations are often better for me, since I tend to get easily distracted. This has helped me get in touch with my own intuition. I try sometimes to just sit silently and listen to myself, and while sometimes nothing much happens... other times, I'll get insight into something.

If I am facing some type of challenge, these activities often help because I am able to spend some time enjoying/embracing my own company without forcing it or thinking about what I should/shouldn't be doing. Over time it has helped me have more conversations with myself and get to the root of some of my insecurities and fears, too.

There have even been times where I've gone walking in a park just so I could cry it out and felt ten times better for it. I'm not any type of expert but I've made a real effort to learn how to listen to myself and figure out the things that make me happy and feel at peace.

One of the biggest things, though, is learning to forgive myself for not being perfect. For having days where the fears I thought I healed come to the surface and fight for control. When I walk, or meditate, or do yoga, and then something happens and I'm crying 5 minutes later. I know I have the tools to make tomorrow a better day, so I don't beat myself up as much for being human. This is something I always have to relearn when in a bad place, but the knowledge is there and it really really helps me get back on track.

This has been a super long winded post, and there are many other little things that have helped me along the way. I hope that you can use some of what works for me in your situation. <3

Good going Tacobelle. I am glad your coping mechanism helps and that you are able to leave the house. I am in a slightly better place now but I've been in a point where I couldn't get out of the house. When someone would tell me to get out of the house or workout I wanted to punch them in the face. You know what really helps me? Pills. Not kidding. You need to do what it takes, right? I guess we all deal with things very differently. I hope someday I can cope with my issues the way do. Until then, hello zoloft!
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: tacobelle914 on April 19, 2019, 01:44:28 PM
happyk - I hear you! I got to a point years ago where I was in therapy and prescribed pills, but they did not work for me (they actually made me very rageful... no one else that I know has had that experience) so I kind of coasted along for years until I found some things that stuck. As you said- you need to do what it takes! At least you know what works for you right now, and that is a pretty big deal imo. :)
Title: Re: Has this happened to you?
Post by: happyk on April 19, 2019, 05:49:55 PM
happyk - I hear you! I got to a point years ago where I was in therapy and prescribed pills, but they did not work for me (they actually made me very rageful... no one else that I know has had that experience) so I kind of coasted along for years until I found some things that stuck. As you said- you need to do what it takes! At least you know what works for you right now, and that is a pretty big deal imo. :)

I tried Prozac and Wellbutrin both as a teenager and both made me feel rage.

I have ADHD and a lot of things cause different reactions from other people, for instance caffeine makes me sleepy.

I have ADHD too, coffee doesn't make me sleepy though but I know that's common. I am on Zoloft and Wellbutrin. I also take amlodipine for my hypertension. I've always had anger issues but these medications didn't affect any of my emotional issues negatively. I am alive and relatively happy only because of Zoloft and Wellbutrin. Therapy was a joke for me. One thing that helps me immensely temporarily is chakra healing/balancing.