Congrats on keeping low reading profile.
That takes discipline and honestly really good for you for stretching yourself. It’s a self disciple.
As far “not getting addicted to the outcome” or being future focus… it’s definitely a challenge but part of life.
But broken down (and yes it is cliche):
-Take time be present in your body (breath work, meditation, exercise, prayer)
-Make gratitudes/appreciation list DAILY (don’t view it as chore, it’s like brushing your teeth) morning, midday, night… but pick a time that is consistent and I say with 30… there’s extreme versions of this I did like 150, and I get burnt out. But it’s habit I now I enjoy
-In every moment as much as you can do “things that sparkles joy”, or “are your highest joy” (and it’s not about indulging drinking. it’s about genuine short term and long term goal and being present. A childhood joy or hobby that drives you to be in the moment)
-yes exercise… (which is also maintenance like brushing your teeth) but do exercises that excite you: poll dancing, ice skating, skiing (I love skiing talk about being in the moment) surfing… you’ll find quickly that if you’re older you also need hobbies that won’t kill you. so as enticing as these sounds it is an experiment to find what you like genuinely like. I then find I need to workout to ski better. Pickleball
-again be present to allow whats here be ok: allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable feelings hand positive ones too: feeling joy can uncomfortable to some) without judgment (anger, shame, waiting) with kindness and compassion.
-love your life! (I know it’s cliche but be excited about being single!)
-overall there is a flavor to being you embrace that. (Personally I use to call psychics for asking tell me what to do but they can’t. I would wished they would say walk into this yoga class at 3pm and you’ll meet your boyfriend… a few psychics would get close but it’s weird things were never as they seemed)
-this reminded me I have list of things that regulate me. It is basically this list too but it’s something my therapist had me do because it did help for when I felt dysregulated that was specific to me. And in that list I do have pray the rosary (it’s something i notice for me when I don’t do I realize I slipped into calling psychic more. Same with working out.)
Books that are a spiritual approach: Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
I still haven’t finished it but I really love so far: Atomic Habits by James Clear
I haven’t started but it’s often quoted: the body keeps the score
I’m kind over him but he does have good insights: Joe Dispneza
I also find it interesting you said “addicted to the future”, while many ( and me included ) are future focused or past focus, I wouldn’t describe it that way first. So explore what it means to be “addicted”.
I also haven’t talked about values and beliefs systems but asking yourself: if I had my manifestation what would be true about me? What would I believe about the person I am to be true? Then change it up if I didn’t get my manifestation again ask those questions. Try this prompt: I am the type of person who (fills in the blank)
And well long story short there are bound to be “wounded” or “false” beliefs or “limited” beliefs and egoic responses (which ego is neither bad or good). And from the manifestation fulfilled it would probably look like “I am the type of person who is loved. I get what I want. (And your Brian would have a list of memories that are associated to be true with those feelings)
And from the manifestation unfulfilled it would be : I am the type of person that believes men always leave me, I am unlovable.(and again the list of memories that support the because of this would either come up or you have that feeling so well memorized in your body it thinks it’s is true)
Things like: all ppl are crap, or men always leave me, or I am unlovable… that stuff usually is what driving in how you act and behave now. And again how you change all that is you go back to breath work and observe your current state. I feel anxious and it feels this way in my body. I like to use senses to describe it: anxiety feels like orange putrid in my skin, or anger feels like red in my head or tail bone. Shame feels like this color, smells this way or sounds but I am bad, and shouldn’t exist. (And for shame again I say bring compassing and kindness; like a soft kitten)
I’m sure others have some thoughts; these are mine and what have helped.
