Author Topic: Kicking the habit  (Read 7777 times)

Offline Carmicsa

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Kicking the habit
« on: March 06, 2020, 01:09:04 PM »
Hello all! I’m new to the forum, I’ve been lurking (for psychics) and have not really commented. I am addicted to calling psychics and have wasted thousands of dollars on people that may or may not have some insight into our situations. It is my fear of being taken advantage of that started my spiral down the rabbit hole of using these sites. After having 4 negative readings yesterday (one from Nicole4sees: saying he’s with another woman and we don’t have a future together) I decided to close
All of my accounts. After having a reading, I Usually ended up feeling more anxious and out of control than if I hadn’t called. I’ve also realized that due to the anxiety from a reading; it’s highly likely that I would cause a negative outcome to happen (trying to stop it from happening).  I’m glad to have found this forum to share my story and vent.

beachgal214

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2020, 10:06:59 PM »
Welcome! you are in good company, many people happy to offer advice and help. Good luck to you. it is not easy but you can do this!


Offline Carmicsa

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2020, 12:09:40 AM »
Thank you so much

Offline russianred

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2020, 02:47:01 AM »
Take some time to go through some threads on this sub-forum along with the "Vent" forum.  I found it helpful to read posts from people who have gone through the same thing.

How long have you been calling psychics?  For me, it was something that took over my life and finances (yes, thousands of dollars, like you) for about 2-3 months.  I recently transferred some of the charges to a 0% APR card which I will pay off over the next few months.  I'm still averaging about one reading per week but that's nothing compared to how I would sometimes spend almost $500 in a day on a binge.

Yes, I agree that readings just feed the anxiety and don't soothe it.

Offline Carmicsa

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2020, 06:10:29 AM »
Take some time to go through some threads on this sub-forum along with the "Vent" forum.  I found it helpful to read posts from people who have gone through the same thing.

How long have you been calling psychics?  For me, it was something that took over my life and finances (yes, thousands of dollars, like you) for about 2-3 months.  I recently transferred some of the charges to a 0% APR card which I will pay off over the next few months.  I'm still averaging about one reading per week but that's nothing compared to how I would sometimes spend almost $500 in a day on a binge.

Yes, I agree that readings just feed the anxiety and don't soothe it.




I started back in 2014 when I was dealing with an narcissistic asshole. I stopped for a while then I started back because I no longer trust myself to pick a decent man. I can spend close to 1k a month. I’m trying to pay off credit card debt as well (I use my checking account to pay for my readings. I have a shopping habit too lol). I’ve been reading quite a few of the forums and they’ve been helpful. I set up one last reading with Yona but I’ve decided not to contact anyone else until then.

Offline Sincity2

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2020, 11:45:35 AM »
I decided last September that I was done with readings, partly because of the negative impact it has had on my finances but also because I felt ashamed and embarrassed to be still consulting psychics about the same poi over several years. Also, I found the readings vague and generic; only little things came true, the more significant predictions didn't happen, and I felt I was wasting time holding on to false hope.

I was muddling along and doing okay up until February when I gave in and bought an email reading from a psychic I read with a couple of times last Summer. I had found her readings comforting back then, and they contained some sensible words of advice on how to handle a situation. I think persistent feelings of anxiousness and sorrow prompted me to go back and read with her again. I have a problem with overthinking and anxiety in general. Recent events unfolding around the world have a surreal feel to them, and I guess my mental state isn't the best at the moment. I start thinking about conspiracies and all sorts. I panic about coping with practical things while trying to maintain a semblance of stability and routine in my day to day life.

The reading did offer some comfort and reassurance when I first received it, and I've read through it often to try and calm my mind from racing. Still, the good feelings are short-lived, and I'm back in the doldrums again. Life is short, and I've wasted precious years daydreaming about a person who is out of reach, attached, unavailable, and who doesn't want me in his life in any way, even as a friend. I tell myself often that if he wanted to talk to me, then he'd jolly well be talking to me. It's simple, and yet I'm tempted to buy into what a psychic says about him not communicating with me because, according to them, he is feeling overwhelmed, controlled by a third party, stressed, and so on. When I look at my situation logically, I can't fail to see how hopeless it is, but it's like I want and need to escape into the fantasy of a happy outcome with him. I seem to find solace in kidding myself he might suddenly come forward and profess undying love or some such nonsense. A few months ago, I had a professional dealing with him, which was horrible; his efforts at even the most basic communication were non-existent. In some ways, the whole episode was so bad it was almost comical. And yet, without a word, he has done something quite kind, but this could be open to misinterpretation and doesn't necessarily mean anything. This is why I ended up caving and seeking out psychic insight, rather than listening to my intuition and common sense. Perhaps there are people you meet who affect you in such a way that you can never truly forget them; they leave their mark on you for the rest of your days, or it takes a humongous amount of time before they fade from your thoughts. I suppose I'll continue to be vulnerable to falling off the wagon and having the odd reading here and there for as long as this person lingers in my memory. I should cut this person off because I know it's pathetic to keep yearning for something that isn't even tangible or real anymore. I haven't seen this poi for years.

Wow great post. This sounds so much like my situation, I could have written it.

Offline Carmicsa

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2020, 04:46:53 AM »
Trust me I understand. As a logical person, I can’t understand how I developed this habit. I guess the fear of loosing the idea of a person is scary and hurtful. We don’t want to feeling that discomfort that comes from heartbreak so we turn to someone who we believe can provide us with insight or some hope. Thank you for sharing your story!

beachgal214

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2020, 01:26:15 PM »
yes!! but when you are finally ready to break free of the cycle- the peace you will feel is so much healthier.  Breaking patterns and cycles helped me. so starting small. blocking on FB helped me. Bc then I couldn't look and right there was breaking a habit I had formed.  then gradually accepting reality.

I still have ups and downs and had some set backs. but I am in a MUCH MUCH better place than this past summer!!  If you ever want to PM me I can share whats helped me.

The number one thing to me right now - and so maybe it wasnt always number one- is breaking habits that keep me engaged in the mental game.  so even limiting my time on this site.  I will see myself as totally successful once I stop visiting this site. its like a crutch I keep coming back to. the last piece I am willing to give up.  I like reading the stories, I like the idea that there people are in same boat and can help eachother out.  but I still see it ss part of my life I am trying to close and I think until fully give it all up this will still be a part of my life.
but its so much better now, not weighing me down, more guilty pleasure perhaps.

and I just feel so much better mentally. and physically! I started working out daily in 2020 which was new for me1!  I love it!!

anyway good luck to you and im happy to share ideas and tips or anything if you need!  I have been in the deep dark trenches, frustrated, embarrassed and ashamed that I spent so much money and for what? nothing seemed to come true! or a least I knew in my heart it wouldn't.  acceptance was the other MAIN one.  like I needed to retrain my brain for hoping and wanting and desiring something that just WASNT.  I have now accepted it for what it IS. not what it ISNT. and that has helped tremendously. I see it in a new and positive light <3

Offline Carmicsa

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2020, 06:08:19 PM »
Omg yes! I think about the money I’ve spent off/on for the last 6 years and I probably could have had my credit card debt and car paid off. I’m definitely still getting the urge and I’ve gotten a reading but I haven’t spent more than $80 this week. (I could spend up to $100/day). I think the biggest thing is ACCEPTANCE. Believing what’s being shown and not what we hope to see. I’m so glad I’ve found this forum. I wish I would have found it earlier. When I have too much time on my hand I start overthinking things then I get anxious. You guys are amazing. Thank you for being so kind.

Offline russianred

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2020, 03:30:57 AM »
Trust me I understand. As a logical person, I can’t understand how I developed this habit. I guess the fear of loosing the idea of a person is scary and hurtful. We don’t want to feeling that discomfort that comes from heartbreak so we turn to someone who we believe can provide us with insight or some hope. Thank you for sharing your story!

In a way it may be worse for those of us who are normally logical and rational. When heavy emotions hit you can't always think your way out of it. I thought very logically about what I was told in readings and had a lot of skepticism, but it's like my whole sense of logic skewed in favor of needing to feel better. I gave psychics way too much benefit of the doubt, I thought, it seems totally unrealistic but surely they wouldn't all be seeing the same thing and telling me this unless it is real and will happen?? It seemed logical at the time.

This has been my experience too.  I hadn't experienced the type of emotions POI stirred in me, and I was so desperate for an answer as to how someone's words could be so removed from his actions (still am waiting for that answer).  I'm a logical, black-and-white type of person.  I would never raise expectations of a relationship with my words with someone if I wasn't ready to follow through.

From reading these boards, I've learned a lot of things.  One is that most people who post here aren't people pining over some long-lost and unrealistic love.  I think most of us call BECAUSE the situation is one that is so baffling, where everything "logically" seems that it should fall into place, but it doesn't, and that disconnect is what makes us look for insight and answers.

Ultimately I wasn't satisfied with any rationale given to me because I still feel, deep down, that if this man wanted to be with me, he would make that happen.  That's another thing I've learned from these boards -- these boards have so many posts from people at the end of their journey with readings about a POI who have all just had to accept that ultimately, if someone wants to be with you, (s)he will be, despite whatever the psychics say.

Another topic I've seen posts on a lot is about how love doesn't always follow the rules of what feels rational.  For me, if I feel that a connection is powerful, I want to do anything I can to explore it.  That's logical to me.  But it seems that love and connection just don't conquer everything.  People have problems in their own lives, self-esteem issues, mental health issues, lots of stuff that can get in the way.  And even if the psychics are able to give us some insight on that, it doesn't help us to control the situation, and it doesn't make POI any more likely to overcome said issues.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2020, 03:42:42 AM by russianred »

Offline russianred

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2020, 05:49:53 AM »
I look back at how most of his friends operated and they were kind of the same way. They were sort of avoidant and didn't like stating things too directly. It's one of those character traits that kind of polarizes people. I assumed my ex was more like me because he could be very outspoken, but I never noticed it was only when he could curry favor by insulting people his friends didn't like (by saying the things they were too cowardly to say.)

Very different thing to have a clear, honest, heartfelt conversation about where you stand with each other, which I found out he was unable to do without having major anxiety attacks, anger and basically running away every time the conversation was not superficial.

As always, I love reading your posts.

I'm still trying to figure things out with my POI, but I'm slowly coming to similar conclusions.  You are right that outspokenness can often masquerade as honesty and openness.  In some ways, he and I have a similar way of sizing up situations, which is usually based in brutal honesty and some humor, so I assumed we placed a similar importance on the value of our words.  But his emotions and words about our relationship weren't consistent, and he could never seem to have a conversation about "us" where he wasn't evasive and inaccessible in some way.  His friends all seemed scummy too which he seemed to think was amusing, but it's not.

The more emotional distance I get from him (and a lot of this is due to severely cutting back on readings in the last month), the more I feel just disconcerted about it all.

Offline HornetKick

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2020, 06:40:06 PM »
Quote
They were sort of avoidant and didn't like stating things too directly.
I just absolutely cannot tolerate people like this, although there have been plenty in my life and still are. I tend to limit my associations and time with them. Just an annoying, hair-wringing frustrated-ness.

Quote
When people withhold information you need to make a good decision, they are usually operating on a different set of values and either they don't understand why you need that information, or they withhold it on purpose so they can have that advantage over you.
This to me is the most hurtful when you find out one small chink of information that was left out. If you had it from the beginning, I feel one could make a better decision on what course to take, but noooooooo I always miss something or end up reflecting and find out later I wasn't told everything. Just an irritating, hand-wringing frustrated mess.

Offline jas

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2020, 11:55:33 AM »
I have thought about going to a gamblers anonymous meeting to see if it might help with my addiction.  I found a group and had planned to go but with Covid-19 now is not the time.  Once everything settles down I plan to go and will let you know if it helps.

Offline bee.23

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2020, 03:41:42 AM »
I decided last September that I was done with readings, partly because of the negative impact it has had on my finances but also because I felt ashamed and embarrassed to be still consulting psychics about the same poi over several years. Also, I found the readings vague and generic; only little things came true, the more significant predictions didn't happen, and I felt I was wasting time holding on to false hope.

I was muddling along and doing okay up until February when I gave in and bought an email reading from a psychic I read with a couple of times last Summer. I had found her readings comforting back then, and they contained some sensible words of advice on how to handle a situation. I think persistent feelings of anxiousness and sorrow prompted me to go back and read with her again. I have a problem with overthinking and anxiety in general. Recent events unfolding around the world have a surreal feel to them, and I guess my mental state isn't the best at the moment. I start thinking about conspiracies and all sorts. I panic about coping with practical things while trying to maintain a semblance of stability and routine in my day to day life.

The reading did offer some comfort and reassurance when I first received it, and I've read through it often to try and calm my mind from racing. Still, the good feelings are short-lived, and I'm back in the doldrums again. Life is short, and I've wasted precious years daydreaming about a person who is out of reach, attached, unavailable, and who doesn't want me in his life in any way, even as a friend. I tell myself often that if he wanted to talk to me, then he'd jolly well be talking to me. It's simple, and yet I'm tempted to buy into what a psychic says about him not communicating with me because, according to them, he is feeling overwhelmed, controlled by a third party, stressed, and so on. When I look at my situation logically, I can't fail to see how hopeless it is, but it's like I want and need to escape into the fantasy of a happy outcome with him. I seem to find solace in kidding myself he might suddenly come forward and profess undying love or some such nonsense. A few months ago, I had a professional dealing with him, which was horrible; his efforts at even the most basic communication were non-existent. In some ways, the whole episode was so bad it was almost comical. And yet, without a word, he has done something quite kind, but this could be open to misinterpretation and doesn't necessarily mean anything. This is why I ended up caving and seeking out psychic insight, rather than listening to my intuition and common sense. Perhaps there are people you meet who affect you in such a way that you can never truly forget them; they leave their mark on you for the rest of your days, or it takes a humongous amount of time before they fade from your thoughts. I suppose I'll continue to be vulnerable to falling off the wagon and having the odd reading here and there for as long as this person lingers in my memory. I should cut this person off because I know it's pathetic to keep yearning for something that isn't even tangible or real anymore. I haven't seen this poi for years.


I could’ve wrote this myself. Not only do I feel you, but I feel for you . Sending you love and healing energies

Offline Rosieroo17

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Re: Kicking the habit
« Reply #14 on: July 21, 2020, 06:53:27 PM »
Can i join this thread as my habit is now out of control
I reading about 4 times a day and I dont even want to know how much I've spent.
Its making me anxious and stressed. I think om just looking for comfort and validation as ive just left my marriage.