Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Why they always say poi doesn’t love the third party?

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aquagirl:
Sometimes men are with the third party not out of love, but out of obligation. I have seen this with some friends over the years. They aren't in love with the woman they are with, and have true feelings for the other person. They can be there because the third party guilts them into the relationship some how. They could be the bread winner and they rely on them for support. There are children involved and they don't want to break up the family. They maybe in a loveless marriage but fear leaving because of religious vows, opinion of family and friends etc... They may feel they need to do the right thing and ride out the relationship. They got back together with an ex because they felt obligated to try, were guilted into it, needed to give it one last try so they never wonder if it would have really worked out.  There are many many different situations that would have them stay and not be in love with that person. Doesn't mean the psychic is a hopeless romantic and not being practical. What seems logical to most women about men because it's not what they would do, isn't true for men. Men approach love and relationships differently than most women do.  If a man truly loved the woman he was with, he wouldn't be looking elsewhere.

Love2lovenj:

--- Quote from: aquagirl on November 12, 2019, 08:49:44 PM ---Sometimes men are with the third party not out of love, but out of obligation. I have seen this with some friends over the years. They aren't in love with the woman they are with, and have true feelings for the other person. They can be there because the third party guilts them into the relationship some how. They could be the bread winner and they rely on them for support. There are children involved and they don't want to break up the family. They maybe in a loveless marriage but fear leaving because of religious vows, opinion of family and friends etc... They may feel they need to do the right thing and ride out the relationship. They got back together with an ex because they felt obligated to try, were guilted into it, needed to give it one last try so they never wonder if it would have really worked out.  There are many many different situations that would have them stay and not be in love with that person. Doesn't mean the psychic is a hopeless romantic and not being practical. What seems logical to most women about men because it's not what they would do, isn't true for men. Men approach love and relationships differently than most women do.  If a man truly loved the woman he was with, he wouldn't be looking elsewhere.

--- End quote ---

Amen sister!  Unless you are in that situation you have no idea the reasons why someone stays with in a 3rd party situation.   Leaving is always easier said then done.

jhuskindle:
This is so rare, I think its a cop out for you to keep going back to bad readers. That said I've said it EVERY now and then, and it's been true, but its so so rare. If the dude is in an "unhappy marriage" why is he still married? It's not logical. Yet every cold reader will tell you so.

ladymonarch:

--- Quote from: jhuskindle on November 21, 2019, 11:21:57 PM ---This is so rare, I think its a cop out for you to keep going back to bad readers. That said I've said it EVERY now and then, and it's been true, but its so so rare. If the dude is in an "unhappy marriage" why is he still married? It's not logical. Yet every cold reader will tell you so.

--- End quote ---

I disagree with this a little bit. I'm currently taking a course on the psychology of relationships and it's quite common for men to stay in unhappy marriages or relationships, more common for men than for women surprisingly so. It's easier for men to settle for less and as mentioned, prior obligations make things much more complicated

maggs30:
I think staying in a relationship is worlds away from staying in a marriage. Relationships are much easier to end. I stayed with my ex husband as long as I did for numerous reasons. Low self esteem, fear of not being able to make it alone, fear of being alone, feelings that I was worthless and wouldn't find anyone else, depression, the stability it provided, and so many others. Was I unhappy? Absolutely! Not 24/7 but most days yes. It got worse and worse over time until I cheated and left. I left on the promise the other person would be there for me. He wasn't. Yes I cheated I openly admit that and know it was wrong. He had already cheated with 4 people I know of so although I feel bad I also believe it was what had to happen to make me leave a toxic situation. By the end of it I had attempted suicide a few times and he had tried to run me over with our sons car. I hung unto hope for that guy for 3 years during the divorce and a year after. It never turned into anything but heartache and more suicide attempts.
Sorry went on a rant. If a guy is flirting outside of his marriage or relationship or a female either for that matter then the relationship is not stable.

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