Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Think I should just move on
Cteebaby1:
Thanks hunny! I will defintely keep my thread updated as well
Girly1998:
Ugh I feel this. I don’t know if it’s readers or just maybe my own intuition that has me convinced it’s not over, but with every other ‘ending’ I allowed it to happen and kept going. With this guy, I can’t even go on a date without feeling like I’m cheating. I obviously know I’m not but it’s just a strange feeling.
Part of me thinks these feelings are for a reason and another part of me thinks maybe I’m just holding onto a hope that may not be there. But when you invest all this energy into someone, where does it go?
Regardless, I think subconsciously we get these readings as a way to still be connected to them. When you’re out of contact with someone that you so desperately want, a reader being able to give you insight and let you know what’s going on in their life (whether it be true or not) still makes you feel like you’re a part of it?
Star_01:
--- Quote from: Girly1998 on August 13, 2019, 04:41:06 AM ---Ugh I feel this. I don’t know if it’s readers or just maybe my own intuition that has me convinced it’s not over, but with every other ‘ending’ I allowed it to happen and kept going. With this guy, I can’t even go on a date without feeling like I’m cheating. I obviously know I’m not but it’s just a strange feeling.
Part of me thinks these feelings are for a reason and another part of me thinks maybe I’m just holding onto a hope that may not be there. But when you invest all this energy into someone, where does it go?
Regardless, I think subconsciously we get these readings as a way to still be connected to them. When you’re out of contact with someone that you so desperately want, a reader being able to give you insight and let you know what’s going on in their life (whether it be true or not) still makes you feel like you’re a part of it?
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I think that that's generally quite a normal feeling. When your heart is still with the ex and you're going on a date with someone else, it just doesn't feel "right". It probably is still fresh to you and there are aspects you haven't gotten over or miss, parts you haven't got closure over the list could go on. I remember feeling the same in the beginning until months passed and I pushed myself to date and felt open to it because I had enough of the pain and waiting around and I knew my chapter with the POI had unfortunately closed.
Whilst your situation is a dead end. You're unsure of what's going on and if there's any real hope, what's going on right now as it's stalemate. If you could get the closure that your ex wants to reconnect or no then life would be easier. But of course it doesn't work out that way and you still have that bond to him and in your right time is when you'll decide to move on.
And the problem is, these readers are very good at making it seem like all the guy ever thinks about is you and how they're sad and moping and scared to get in touch, how they wonder what you're upto yadda yadda and it doesn't help with the closure in the long run (if there is no possibility of a reconciling).
I think naturally people put their foot down and decide enough is enough and they're fed up in their own time. I've come back on here to see one or two common users got fed up in the end and moved or are open to moving on.
Cteebaby1:
I know I should move on now because it’s the smartest choice. However, my heart still there & I know I shouldn’t go by what a reader tells me but just go with what reality tells me. Two readers told me I won’t move on until 2020 🙄. That’s just around the corner so why not just move on now to avoid that drastic situation. The good news is supposedly I’m the one who leaves him. My POI and I go back n forth . One minute he’s here then he’s not. It’s been that way for awhile so I just need to be a bit stronger and say no this time.
dascallie:
--- Quote from: Girly1998 on August 13, 2019, 04:41:06 AM ---Ugh I feel this. I don’t know if it’s readers or just maybe my own intuition that has me convinced it’s not over, but with every other ‘ending’ I allowed it to happen and kept going. With this guy, I can’t even go on a date without feeling like I’m cheating. I obviously know I’m not but it’s just a strange feeling.
Part of me thinks these feelings are for a reason and another part of me thinks maybe I’m just holding onto a hope that may not be there. But when you invest all this energy into someone, where does it go?
Regardless, I think subconsciously we get these readings as a way to still be connected to them. When you’re out of contact with someone that you so desperately want, a reader being able to give you insight and let you know what’s going on in their life (whether it be true or not) still makes you feel like you’re a part of it?
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"I think subconsciously we get these readings as a way to still be connected to them." I think you are are so RIGHT.
I think I also am having a really hard time BELIEVING he just flipped a switch and does not love or want me anymore (after all the "Ive never felt this, I want to get you a ring, I DO, I will love you always and forever, I will never let you go") but his complete avoidance says he doesn't. I do think the readings string us along.
I'm getting ready to electronically delete and destroy any hard copies of the archive of readings I've done. That means no more re-readings, no more mad pondering, poof it will be all gone.
Quite an investment burn-down but I think it's the monkey I need to get off my back so I don't waste any more of my life in a futile quest.
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