Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
How much time it too much time?
ladya:
--- Quote from: Star_01 on August 05, 2019, 09:56:00 PM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on August 05, 2019, 09:30:07 PM ---
--- Quote from: Star_01 on August 05, 2019, 09:14:42 PM ---Girly1998: yeah I guess in a sense it's frustating when they come back but you're like "really?!". That's what I mean in that exes may return but we may have changed our mind or they may not be genuine. The spark gets lost at some point, sadly.
LadyA: thanks so much, I'm also sorry to hear that you have been in an unhealthy situation. It's strange to hear he treated you well as a person yet the relationship wasn't so healthy, that is rare to happen and generally when people decide to stay as friends as it works better that way. I too seem to be attracting the same types of relationships and guys, it sucks. But at least the other guy did you a favour I guess and left the situation so that you could move on and he didn't wanna keep letting you down and hurting you. That's a respectful thing of him to do.
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Ye it's strange lol but welcome to my life. I could write a book on the weird dynamics ive encountered in life. We tried being friends as I was fine with it since I was no longer in love but he couldn't stand the thought of me with someone else and was in still deeply in love. we ended so badly and it got ressurrected as if nothing had happened so there is always a chance no matter what happened in the past. i used to think very black or white but throughout this journey of life, i realized how many shades of gray there are. no 2 people are the same and each relationship is so different. i truly believe in love though and i think its stronger than anything in this world. i think its the only thing in this world that can change a person. if the love's not gone theres still hope for the relationship in this lifetime. and im not even a hopeless romantic lol
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I'm not disputing that you're wrong, you know your situations better than others but certainly with me there was no love from my partners. One I'm sure had love for me but in the end it died from both our sides as it was so toxic. I think everybody's story is different and nobody knows anyone's situation on here better than the person themselves so if they think truly inside that a guy will be back then good for them as that's what their intution and number one (them) is feeling. Sometimes people can come back changed but I think it's very important to keep living your life too and be realistic. Like you said about your situation the person had feelings and was a good friend to you but realistically in a relationship sense he wasn't able to give you what you wanted which is really sad as both people are feeling the same but the actions are different. So it's a good job you carried on with life and didn't waste time on false hope.
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Agree! Most important person in your life is you and always have to do what is best for you.
Candy:
--- Quote from: ladya on August 05, 2019, 08:08:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: Candy on August 05, 2019, 06:11:44 PM ---Wow! Thanks for sharing your story and I’m sorry to hear about all that you’ve been through. For those of you who have gotten that sense of “knowing” that someone will play a significant part in your life at first meeting, or love at first sight, or that feeling that you’ve known someone for a long time the first few moments you two meet...what do you make of it?? How can you explain it? And is it usually correct that that person will play a significant role in your life?
I had a situation like that recently — where I met someone completely unexpectedly at a business function — and I could not explain this intense pull, a connection that I have no idea what to make of. Anyhow, he has been on my mind, and it’s complicated due to long distance and professional boundaries that I would prefer not to cross. Anyhow, it’s tough because I have no idea how he truly feels l, but it’s also a connection that I can’t deny.
I have that when I meet every significant person in my life. I just need eye contact and I know they'll be around for a while. You never really know what the outcome will be until youre there but I always have that knowing. I also always know when someones coming back or if they will and ill get dreams or whatever else. I love it but sometimes I wish i didnt have it because Id be a normal person living a normal life not knowing what the ending will be like. Its funny cause for me it's normal but for the other person its usually not and theyre like wth is this.
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Ladya, so the other party doesn’t reciprocate the feelings or simply don’t have the same sense of “knowing” about the future? When you sense that the person will play a significant role in your life, is it a general feeling of “this person will be a part of my life — good or bad” or is it specific like, “Oh, this is the guy I’m going to have babies with?” When you have a premonition about something, does it often come true?
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ladya:
--- Quote from: Candy on August 06, 2019, 04:23:48 AM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on August 05, 2019, 08:08:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: Candy on August 05, 2019, 06:11:44 PM ---Wow! Thanks for sharing your story and I’m sorry to hear about all that you’ve been through. For those of you who have gotten that sense of “knowing” that someone will play a significant part in your life at first meeting, or love at first sight, or that feeling that you’ve known someone for a long time the first few moments you two meet...what do you make of it?? How can you explain it? And is it usually correct that that person will play a significant role in your life?
I had a situation like that recently — where I met someone completely unexpectedly at a business function — and I could not explain this intense pull, a connection that I have no idea what to make of. Anyhow, he has been on my mind, and it’s complicated due to long distance and professional boundaries that I would prefer not to cross. Anyhow, it’s tough because I have no idea how he truly feels l, but it’s also a connection that I can’t deny.
I have that when I meet every significant person in my life. I just need eye contact and I know they'll be around for a while. You never really know what the outcome will be until youre there but I always have that knowing. I also always know when someones coming back or if they will and ill get dreams or whatever else. I love it but sometimes I wish i didnt have it because Id be a normal person living a normal life not knowing what the ending will be like. Its funny cause for me it's normal but for the other person its usually not and theyre like wth is this.
--- End quote ---
Ladya, so the other party doesn’t reciprocate the feelings or simply don’t have the same sense of “knowing” about the future? When you sense that the person will play a significant role in your life, is it a general feeling of “this person will be a part of my life — good or bad” or is it specific like, “Oh, this is the guy I’m going to have babies with?” When you have a premonition about something, does it often come true?
--- End quote ---
So for me it's normal to have these sort of fated feelings but typically when I meet let's say a man they never did before right so for them its strange cause they get the same feeling but don't know what to make of it. It's always been reciprocated but its more so why they can't control it and why do they feel the way they feel. I used to go through life thinking everyone had this and was normal till i met a lot of people that looked at me like I was crazy LOL. until i came on this board I didnt know many people to experience what I did or even put it into words how i just knew. I would go on dates with guys and tell my friends how i knew its not it and i would get shit and be like you cant know give them a chance theyre a good guy. Im like no, I know within first glance. there's plenty of good men out there, but simply being good doesnt suffice, sorry. if i dont feel it, it's not happening and I will not waste anyones time or my own. i know if a person is good or bad right away (a good or bad soul i mean) but i sense this with everyone. its hard with romantic relationships cause ive had it with every guy ive been with but I haven't ended up with them long term but I will say it gets stronger with every encounter. My premonitions do usually come true but I dont really get them that often and can't control when I do. To add most of these encounters, yes they usually do play an important role and usually they don’t leave my life completely. They always circle in and out throughout the years in some fashion.
--- End quote ---
Candy:
--- Quote from: ladya on August 06, 2019, 04:50:22 AM ---
--- Quote from: Candy on August 06, 2019, 04:23:48 AM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on August 05, 2019, 08:08:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: Candy on August 05, 2019, 06:11:44 PM ---Wow! Thanks for sharing your story and I’m sorry to hear about all that you’ve been through. For those of you who have gotten that sense of “knowing” that someone will play a significant part in your life at first meeting, or love at first sight, or that feeling that you’ve known someone for a long time the first few moments you two meet...what do you make of it?? How can you explain it? And is it usually correct that that person will play a significant role in your life?
I had a situation like that recently — where I met someone completely unexpectedly at a business function — and I could not explain this intense pull, a connection that I have no idea what to make of. Anyhow, he has been on my mind, and it’s complicated due to long distance and professional boundaries that I would prefer not to cross. Anyhow, it’s tough because I have no idea how he truly feels l, but it’s also a connection that I can’t deny.
I have that when I meet every significant person in my life. I just need eye contact and I know they'll be around for a while. You never really know what the outcome will be until youre there but I always have that knowing. I also always know when someones coming back or if they will and ill get dreams or whatever else. I love it but sometimes I wish i didnt have it because Id be a normal person living a normal life not knowing what the ending will be like. Its funny cause for me it's normal but for the other person its usually not and theyre like wth is this.
--- End quote ---
Ladya, so the other party doesn’t reciprocate the feelings or simply don’t have the same sense of “knowing” about the future? When you sense that the person will play a significant role in your life, is it a general feeling of “this person will be a part of my life — good or bad” or is it specific like, “Oh, this is the guy I’m going to have babies with?” When you have a premonition about something, does it often come true?
--- End quote ---
So for me it's normal to have these sort of fated feelings but typically when I meet let's say a man they never did before right so for them its strange cause they get the same feeling but don't know what to make of it. It's always been reciprocated but its more so why they can't control it and why do they feel the way they feel. I used to go through life thinking everyone had this and was normal till i met a lot of people that looked at me like I was crazy LOL. until i came on this board I didnt know many people to experience what I did or even put it into words how i just knew. I would go on dates with guys and tell my friends how i knew its not it and i would get shit and be like you cant know give them a chance theyre a good guy. Im like no, I know within first glance. there's plenty of good men out there, but simply being good doesnt suffice, sorry. if i dont feel it, it's not happening and I will not waste anyones time or my own. i know if a person is good or bad right away (a good or bad soul i mean) but i sense this with everyone. its hard with romantic relationships cause ive had it with every guy ive been with but I haven't ended up with them long term but I will say it gets stronger with every encounter. My premonitions do usually come true but I dont really get them that often and can't control when I do. To add most of these encounters, yes they usually do play an important role and usually they don’t leave my life completely. They always circle in and out throughout the years in some fashion.
--- End quote ---
Very interesting. I am the same way, but I am also very rational by nature and don’t always trust my own intuition, so I still doubt myself when I get that sense of “knowing” about people. Have you ever met someone and immediate think, “This is the man I am going to marry?” So strange that I recently had an encounter like that and of course I think I’m a little crazy — how can I possibly know the future at first glance??
--- End quote ---
ladya:
--- Quote from: Candy on August 06, 2019, 11:58:17 AM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on August 06, 2019, 04:50:22 AM ---
--- Quote from: Candy on August 06, 2019, 04:23:48 AM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on August 05, 2019, 08:08:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: Candy on August 05, 2019, 06:11:44 PM ---Wow! Thanks for sharing your story and I’m sorry to hear about all that you’ve been through. For those of you who have gotten that sense of “knowing” that someone will play a significant part in your life at first meeting, or love at first sight, or that feeling that you’ve known someone for a long time the first few moments you two meet...what do you make of it?? How can you explain it? And is it usually correct that that person will play a significant role in your life?
I had a situation like that recently — where I met someone completely unexpectedly at a business function — and I could not explain this intense pull, a connection that I have no idea what to make of. Anyhow, he has been on my mind, and it’s complicated due to long distance and professional boundaries that I would prefer not to cross. Anyhow, it’s tough because I have no idea how he truly feels l, but it’s also a connection that I can’t deny.
I have that when I meet every significant person in my life. I just need eye contact and I know they'll be around for a while. You never really know what the outcome will be until youre there but I always have that knowing. I also always know when someones coming back or if they will and ill get dreams or whatever else. I love it but sometimes I wish i didnt have it because Id be a normal person living a normal life not knowing what the ending will be like. Its funny cause for me it's normal but for the other person its usually not and theyre like wth is this.
--- End quote ---
Ladya, so the other party doesn’t reciprocate the feelings or simply don’t have the same sense of “knowing” about the future? When you sense that the person will play a significant role in your life, is it a general feeling of “this person will be a part of my life — good or bad” or is it specific like, “Oh, this is the guy I’m going to have babies with?” When you have a premonition about something, does it often come true?
--- End quote ---
So for me it's normal to have these sort of fated feelings but typically when I meet let's say a man they never did before right so for them its strange cause they get the same feeling but don't know what to make of it. It's always been reciprocated but its more so why they can't control it and why do they feel the way they feel. I used to go through life thinking everyone had this and was normal till i met a lot of people that looked at me like I was crazy LOL. until i came on this board I didnt know many people to experience what I did or even put it into words how i just knew. I would go on dates with guys and tell my friends how i knew its not it and i would get shit and be like you cant know give them a chance theyre a good guy. Im like no, I know within first glance. there's plenty of good men out there, but simply being good doesnt suffice, sorry. if i dont feel it, it's not happening and I will not waste anyones time or my own. i know if a person is good or bad right away (a good or bad soul i mean) but i sense this with everyone. its hard with romantic relationships cause ive had it with every guy ive been with but I haven't ended up with them long term but I will say it gets stronger with every encounter. My premonitions do usually come true but I dont really get them that often and can't control when I do. To add most of these encounters, yes they usually do play an important role and usually they don’t leave my life completely. They always circle in and out throughout the years in some fashion.
--- End quote ---
Very interesting. I am the same way, but I am also very rational by nature and don’t always trust my own intuition, so I still doubt myself when I get that sense of “knowing” about people. Have you ever met someone and immediate think, “This is the man I am going to marry?” So strange that I recently had an encounter like that and of course I think I’m a little crazy — how can I possibly know the future at first glance??
--- End quote ---
Ye I’m very rational too lol and I used to doubt myself until I stopped because I was right too many times. I still battle it because I like facts and concrete evidence and this goes far beyond it. I have had that feeling but I’ll tell you further down the line when it happens lol.
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