Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Depression

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Sparkle002:
I feel you - I went through half the year with health issues (in and out of the hospital), lost my job a month ago - but havent been paid since Feb, and a revolving door of guys who dont want me

SUCKS!! I def try to keep positive but I definitely have down days. At this point I want fun in my life - whether its on the job or with a consistent guy or both. Definitely been having fun with my friends so that helps!


--- Quote from: Lovefash67 on July 28, 2019, 08:55:31 PM ---I’ve been feeling depressed for the last five years some days are harder than others and when I look back on the five years I honestly can’t remember a time where I felt happy , where I felt like I can finally relax, where I felt like I’m happy to live another day , month or year. I tend to feel very depressed when goals that I have set for myself aren’t accomplished and not due to me not taking action but due to things that are out of my control I.e having to wait on other people, bosses or ex. I honestly don’t think I can go through another fucked up year where I’m not happy . I keep thinking if I made more money, found the man of my dreams, reconciled with my mother that I’ll feel happy but the scary thing is what if I get all those things and I don’t end up feeling happy and then I mess things up or what if I get those things and I end up feeling worse. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to be happy

--- End quote ---

Cteebaby1:

--- Quote from: Lovefash67 on July 28, 2019, 08:55:31 PM ---I’ve been feeling depressed for the last five years some days are harder than others and when I look back on the five years I honestly can’t remember a time where I felt happy , where I felt like I can finally relax, where I felt like I’m happy to live another day , month or year. I tend to feel very depressed when goals that I have set for myself aren’t accomplished and not due to me not taking action but due to things that are out of my control I.e having to wait on other people, bosses or ex. I honestly don’t think I can go through another fucked up year where I’m not happy . I keep thinking if I made more money, found the man of my dreams, reconciled with my mother that I’ll feel happy but the scary thing is what if I get all those things and I don’t end up feeling happy and then I mess things up or what if I get those things and I end up feeling worse. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to be happy

--- End quote ---

I understand what you mean. It’s good to vent and let those feelings out !! And from reading it seems like your living for other people ie: your mom, boss, ex . And yes you can accomplish all those goals for yourself and still be unhappy because happiness comes from within. When you gain your confidence, live without regrets , and do what makes you happy you’ll feel free again. For now take it Day by day. Do little things that makes you happy and that helps with your confidence. For me it was as simple as getting my nails done or getting my eyebrows waxed. What makes you happy? It could be little things like a day off from work to sleep or getting your hair done. I’ll start with little things . Then you’ll be so busy loving and caring for yourself you’ll forget about the things or people that bring you down.

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