Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Were you able to salvage/rekindle after a bad breakup?
Fidget1028:
--- Quote from: flora0250 on July 13, 2019, 04:52:34 PM ---My gut has been telling me if I leave this man alone long enough and let him go through whatever he’s going through... that what was there between us once was actually real enough and strong enough that he will eventually at least reach out to me again.
Problem is that I admit it seems so ridiculously illogical and I keep telling myself to see the reality that he’s with someone else now and don’t ignore that and live in la-la land.
I’m just constantly in conflict.
But I think I’m finding I can make more steps to “move forward” while still believing this to be true. That I really have to “move forward” for my own well being even if my gut is right. I could be totally totally off base and letting my ego cloud my intuition.
And to the question in the post. Yes. Definitely. My ex husband and I reconnected after not seeing each other for 12 years and I still was in love with him and we rekindled things very quickly and got married very quickly. I don’t regret it. But it was too fast. And it ended up being a really awful divorce. But now I find I can even still love him but have moved far on from that.
--- End quote ---
Flora, the way Yona explained it to me is that it is a little of both. Keep in mind, Yona believes that we all have a path set in stone. What she told me is that my POI has a Wheel of Fortune going on right now, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change or influence his cycle. BUT she also sees us reconnecting as the wheel turns around. So she told me to live my life and progress my journey. This way, when he does reappear, I will be in the best place I can be to deal with the situation.
ladya:
--- Quote from: flora0250 on July 13, 2019, 04:52:34 PM ---My gut has been telling me if I leave this man alone long enough and let him go through whatever he’s going through... that what was there between us once was actually real enough and strong enough that he will eventually at least reach out to me again.
Problem is that I admit it seems so ridiculously illogical and I keep telling myself to see the reality that he’s with someone else now and don’t ignore that and live in la-la land.
I’m just constantly in conflict.
But I think I’m finding I can make more steps to “move forward” while still believing this to be true. That I really have to “move forward” for my own well being even if my gut is right. I could be totally totally off base and letting my ego cloud my intuition.
And to the question in the post. Yes. Definitely. My ex husband and I reconnected after not seeing each other for 12 years and I still was in love with him and we rekindled things very quickly and got married very quickly. I don’t regret it. But it was too fast. And it ended up being a really awful divorce. But now I find I can even still love him but have moved far on from that.
--- End quote ---
i relate to this a lot. the best thing to do is just leave them alone. if your gut is telling you that then listen to it but move forward in the mean time. Be ok with the possibility that he may not come back but hey if he does then thats great. do whats best for you in the mean time. from my past experience with my ex doesnt matter if hes with someone. you can only run away from how you truly feel inside for so long until it hits him dead in the face. dont wait around but trust me if he cares hell be back.
Fidget1028:
--- Quote from: Girly1998 on July 13, 2019, 04:55:50 PM ---
--- Quote from: Fidget1028 on July 13, 2019, 04:45:15 PM ---
--- Quote from: Girly1998 on July 13, 2019, 03:37:00 PM ---I feel like most people get readings during difficult times involving love. For those of you who have went through terrible breakups, were you able to get them back?
Did you listen to psychics who always tell you not to make first contact even when your POI has no reason to believe you want to talk to them? How did you do it?
--- End quote ---
I made first contact a few times, but not because a psychic told me to, just because I felt drawn to do it. It didn't lead to reconciliation, but I always got a positive reply. Go with your gut is my advice.
--- End quote ---
If you don’t mind me asking, why did it never lead to reconciliation?
--- End quote ---
My POI didn't want a commitment and he knows I do. He never completely severed ties though, so I would say it's about bad timing. I could text him right now and get a reply within 10 minutes. I'm not blocked or ignored. He just won't allow it to move forward.
britbrat:
I had a pretty bad breakup with my ex-husband and we wouldn't even talk. We communicated through his family and his sister would pick up the baby for him. His sister helped out a lot back then and we agreed to go to therapy. It worked for a while and he did move back in. We ended up separating again and eventually divorcing. He met a girl when we separated and I found out he started to see her again while we were in therapy. We have a good co-parenting relationship now and it took 2 years to get to this point. He knows that I have been seeing someone for over a year now and he sent me a few flirty text a few weeks ago and he has been friendly when we do drop offs. I found out he broke up with his gf recently. I have moved on and will never go back to him, but 2 of my readers mentioned a former lover coming back. I don't want anyone back from my past and I definitely wasn't expecting him to start flirting.
Before we got back together a lot of readers predicted it but only 3 warned that it wouldn't last. Even though we rekindled he never really changed which led to us divorcing.
Lyssa:
--- Quote from: flora0250 on July 13, 2019, 04:52:34 PM ---My gut has been telling me if I leave this man alone long enough and let him go through whatever he’s going through... that what was there between us once was actually real enough and strong enough that he will eventually at least reach out to me again.
Problem is that I admit it seems so ridiculously illogical and I keep telling myself to see the reality that he’s with someone else now and don’t ignore that and live in la-la land.
I’m just constantly in conflict.
But I think I’m finding I can make more steps to “move forward” while still believing this to be true. That I really have to “move forward” for my own well being even if my gut is right. I could be totally totally off base and letting my ego cloud my intuition.
And to the question in the post. Yes. Definitely. My ex husband and I reconnected after not seeing each other for 12 years and I still was in love with him and we rekindled things very quickly and got married very quickly. I don’t regret it. But it was too fast. And it ended up being a really awful divorce. But now I find I can even still love him but have moved far on from that.
--- End quote ---
I feel this 100%. My ex isn't with someone, but has a lot going on, career change, move, baggage from the past. I wish I could offer some advice on how to overcome the internal conflict that we feel when we want to let go and can't at the same time. You are definitely not alone though!
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