Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
I hate this
SomethingBetter:
I hate this feeling. Or jumble of feelings I should say.
It’s the reason I went cold turkey on readings years ago.
I have some optimism because I have connected with amazing readers and have had success with them.
Then another part of me is mad at myself for wanting this fool in the first place.
Then I feel scared that I’m placing my faith in others instead of my gut or my belief in a higher power.
Maybe this borders on hubris, but I get like this adrenaline rush and this deeply satisfying feeling when something a reader predicts comes true. It’s like a high. I feel like I have a leg up due to their guidance.
I do truly appreciate those whom I consider “my” readers: Anne, Yona, Kira, Cookie and Kisha. I just feel lost and heartbroken right now. Rudderless...
I know no matter what I’ll be ok. I don’t need this person in my life and amazing things will happen with or without him. But I’m just sad...
I need to humble myself and make a conscious effort to take reality in first and see these readings as entertainment only.
But I’ll still have my fingers crossed...
Penelope:
These past few weeks have been a bundle of gut wrenching reality checks for me. It wasn’t about the predictions for me but the feelings I thought the other person shared. It turned out to be wrong and that left me more hurt than predictions not coming true.
Fidget1028:
Oh...I know the feeling. I've been there a few times. I'm in a much better place now. Not a perfect place, but much better. Here's what has helped me. Maybe it can help someone else.
1) You can't stop readings without replacing it with something else. It's an addiction. If you get bored or anxious, this "addiction" creeps in EVERY time. So I found replacements. I've started projects around my home. Big projects. And I've challenged myself to do the project myself. Lord knows that I can't afford professional contractors. I've learned in the last 6 months basic electrical and plumbing. You can learn almost anything on YouTube. LOL
2) I am in such financial debt due to my "habit". I haven't had the nerve to add it up, but it's BAD. Only I can turn it around. Besides, it's my responsibility to do so. So...I figured out a budget, downloaded Credit Karma, Ibotta, etc. Everything is budgeted now. If I can't afford it, it doesn't happen. I'm slowly paying off my addiction. It will take years. BUT instead of checking the psychic sites, I check my credit score. It's starting to go up. My credit card balances are starting to go down. My goal is to live without credit cards.
3) My health. I went through months of not sleeping through the night. I'd wake up worried about finances and of course, my POI. I've learned to meditate. There's a great "Tibetan Meditation Music" video that I use every night. I do some LOA, deep breathing, relaxation techniques to the music EVERY night before bed. I can now sleep through the night.
4) I don't check his social media anymore. I challenged myself not to block him, but to learn self control to not check. When I get the urge, I play Cookie Jam (LMAO) and honestly, it only takes a few minutes to lose the urge. Remember, you don't quit and addiction, you replace it.
5) I haven't cut out readings, but they are limited and I have self imposed boundaries. I pay cash so if I don't have money, I don't do it. I get general readings only. They have always been better for me and they remind me that there are other aspects of my life that are important. And I wait for the timelines to pass or for progress before I get another one. I've been really good about this. I don't have an urge anymore for daily/weekly readings and honestly, more predictions happen. They are not about my POI, but they are happening. I've also started to read tarot. I'm still early in the process, but I've found that my own readings are more accurate. I've seen the Devil card a lot, but it's in the past. The current shows I'm still insecure about my future, but my future cards are showing forward movement. And it's true. It's all true.
Hang in there. You'll find what works for you. POI held sooo much power over me. Psychics, intentionally or unintentionally did the same. I am working day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute to take control back from both. Hugs to all of us who are struggling.
jas:
Fidget, that was fantastic!! My addition was equally as bad as yours, so believe me when I say I UNDERSTAND.
October of last year (after a decade of readings) I finally had the nerve to see how much my addition was costing me......$1800 monthly!!! yes, you read that correctly. I earn a good income, almost six figures, but I was spending everything on this addiction. I finally went to a hypnotist and, for now, I am staying on the straight and narrow.
Thank you so much for writing that :)
Fidget1028:
--- Quote from: jas on June 03, 2019, 12:01:34 PM ---Fidget, that was fantastic!! My addition was equally as bad as yours, so believe me when I say I UNDERSTAND.
October of last year (after a decade of readings) I finally had the nerve to see how much my addition was costing me......$1800 monthly!!! yes, you read that correctly. I earn a good income, almost six figures, but I was spending everything on this addiction. I finally went to a hypnotist and, for now, I am staying on the straight and narrow.
Thank you so much for writing that :)
--- End quote ---
God love you for having the fortitude to add it up. I can't do it yet. It's shameful. BUT one thing that gives me reinforcement is checking my Keen transcripts. They go away after a year. Last year there were pages and pages of them. Now I'm down to a few pages. I don't read on Keen anymore, so I'm waiting for the day when there are no transcripts to read. :)
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