Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
More and More peoples have move on from psychics reading
LAW1974:
--- Quote from: Still tired on January 27, 2019, 05:13:19 PM ---
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on January 27, 2019, 02:04:53 PM ---I realize what you are saying, there could be people who keep hanging on to predictions and when they dont pass they binge on more readings or some other form of abusive/unhealthy behavior. But can we blame this on the psychics?
--- End quote ---
Can we blame the psychics for the actual choices people make? No. But can we blame them for heavily influencing or manipulating those decisions? A thousand times, yes!!! The psychics themselves say and do things that set people up for that and exploit those tendencies.
It may or may not be intentional, most times it probably isn't, but many times they do things that encourage dependency, or exploit a person's vulnerabilities, or manipulate emotions.
Some put way too much ego into what they do. They want the client to trust them and believe them even if it means the client ignores their own intuition. They don't like to be wrong. They raise expectations and hopes way too high. They overemphasize how great things will be when xyz happens. They keep extending timelines. They put doom and gloom warnings on what will happen if you don't follow their advice. They say you'll regret it if you do what your own instincts are telling you to do. Don't contact this person to find out the truth. Etc. It goes on and on.
And some readers are codependent and "too caring." They love bomb their clients. They have their own emotional needs they are trying to get met by their clients. They want to be loved, admired, respected. They want someone to depend on them for answers.
--- Quote ---It does not make them "fake" or "dishonest".
--- End quote ---
I agree but it's really sort of a moot point. If they are wrong, they are wrong. Does it matter if they were being dishonest? I'm not even sure how you would determine that. I think many of them really, truly, sincerely believe the things they say to clients. They might even pass a lie detector test because they believe in it so strongly. Does that make it "true" though?
The problem is when we ask people to tell us things that aren't already evident to us in reality, there is no way to actually verify those things. So it does open up the possibility that they may lie to us, but more so it opens up the realms of speculation, misinterpretation, subjective opinion, fantasy, and sheer delusion. That is the fundamental nature of getting readings. Readings are subjective, not factual.
There is a lot of value and benefit in exploring things that are subjective, and a lot of healing can come from that. But there are many, many ways to do that, that don't involve hearing someone make predictions about the future.
What makes readings so dangerous is most of them are NOT "fake" or "dishonest." They can have real abilities, and they may be totally sincere about what they are telling you. They could be right about a lot of things, and they could help you a lot, and then you start to get comfortable. You go deeper and deeper into things that are subjective, and it feels, *feels* like they are so right about everything. You feel so much better after you talk to them. Then one day, they turn out to be factually wrong about something, maybe something big, or maybe just something small. But they are so blatantly wrong about it that it makes you question a lot of other things they said, maybe even because those other things are all connected to this one thing they got wrong. So it could mean that they are wrong about the rest of it too. But you're not sure what to believe.
So maybe you call back or message them to get some clarification, because after all they have been right about a lot of other things. And you can tell they really are not "fake" or "dishonest" because they are such a nice person and they have already helped you a lot. You just have a little doubt now about something they said. Like you're sure it can be straightened out really quickly. But, things start to get weird. You can't really get a straight answer. Maybe they suddenly change the subject, or the call/chat get disconnected. You know they wouldn't actually hang up on you because they are not "fake" or "dishonest." So you try to reconnect, but now they aren't available. Oh well, no big deal. You can try again another day.
But there is this gnawing feeling inside you wondering how they got that one thing wrong. Because it really does impact a lot of other things they said, which you thought all along they were right about. But now you realize, you're not totally sure about some other things they said either. You could verify some of those things, but not all of it. Come to think of it, some of what you thought you verified might now be interpreted differently. So you're really, really not sure what to believe anymore. Suddenly your head is spinning trying to figure it out. And look, here is another reader online, that you haven't spoken to in awhile. Maybe you'll just check in with them for a quick reading to see what their take is.
That's how it starts. And any normal, thinking person could get sucked in by this. It is a very slippery slope. You could get by for a long time not really binging or overspending. But the more you listen to them say things that can't be verified as factual, the more you lose your footing on solid ground. Factual information is what keeps us grounded. The very intent behind getting a reading, is to find out something beyond what our own eyes and ears tell us. There's nothing wrong with wanting to do that, and it can be helpful. But it has a lot of pitfalls. It is very, very risky. And the longer it goes on, the more dependent you become on having it be accurate. Not less dependent - more.
No one thinks when they start out getting readings, that they are going to binge or overspend. Some of us go on for years keeping it under control before we start binging - like me! Those first few years, I never thought it would let it get out of control. But those carefully controlled habits are what set up the conditions that led to binging and overspending.
So do I blame the psychics for my choice to start down that path? No not at all. It was my own decision. Do I blame them for my own choice, any of the times I decided to get a reading? No of course not.
But did they do things to push me further down that path, to the point that it became destructive? Yes! Absolutely yes. Not all of them, but certain ones, certain things they did. What some of them did was morally wrong, or unprofessional, or just plain incompetent. I can understand them, and forgive them, and I totally believe that they meant well in almost every case. But I will never excuse those behaviors or blame myself for what they chose to do.
But beyond any of that...I blame it on the nature of readings being highly subjective and prone to error. That's just how it is, and it is the risk we all gamble on when we decide to get readings.
I can't emphasize enough. It is very risky. It is way worse than gambling in a casino because you don't ever win a little money back and get to decide if you want to walk away with those winnings or double down and try again. It is just cumulative spending that you will never, ever, ever get back. What's really at stake is your sense of reality, and your ability to stay grounded, and to see and interprets things clearly.
--- Quote ---I am not sure we will ever know why some things come to pass and others dont? We can all debate - free will, destiny, LOA, high and low vibrations and other energy, did i get too many readings? But there is no way to truly know why some redictions happen and others dont?
--- End quote ---
The answer is simple...if the predictions don't happen, they gave an inaccurate reading. Their reading did not line up with the facts. Any other explanation is just going to lead further and further away from the facts of the situation. It can be really interesting to explore those things - or it can lead to a lot of useless self-blame and trying to fix things. But it doesn't change anything. The facts are what they are.
--- End quote ---
I agree ALL of this wholeheartedly (except last paragraph I dont see things as facts necessarily) - BUT yes!!!!
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: Still tired on January 27, 2019, 05:13:19 PM ---
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on January 27, 2019, 02:04:53 PM ---I realize what you are saying, there could be people who keep hanging on to predictions and when they dont pass they binge on more readings or some other form of abusive/unhealthy behavior. But can we blame this on the psychics?
--- End quote ---
Can we blame the psychics for the actual choices people make? No. But can we blame them for heavily influencing or manipulating those decisions? A thousand times, yes!!! The psychics themselves say and do things that set people up for that and exploit those tendencies.
It may or may not be intentional, most times it probably isn't, but many times they do things that encourage dependency, or exploit a person's vulnerabilities, or manipulate emotions.
Some put way too much ego into what they do. They want the client to trust them and believe them even if it means the client ignores their own intuition. They don't like to be wrong. They raise expectations and hopes way too high. They overemphasize how great things will be when xyz happens. They keep extending timelines. They put doom and gloom warnings on what will happen if you don't follow their advice. They say you'll regret it if you do what your own instincts are telling you to do. Don't contact this person to find out the truth. Etc. It goes on and on.
And some readers are codependent and "too caring." They love bomb their clients. They have their own emotional needs they are trying to get met by their clients. They want to be loved, admired, respected. They want someone to depend on them for answers.
--- Quote ---It does not make them "fake" or "dishonest".
--- End quote ---
I agree but it's really sort of a moot point. If they are wrong, they are wrong. Does it matter if they were being dishonest? I'm not even sure how you would determine that. I think many of them really, truly, sincerely believe the things they say to clients. They might even pass a lie detector test because they believe in it so strongly. Does that make it "true" though?
The problem is when we ask people to tell us things that aren't already evident to us in reality, there is no way to actually verify those things. So it does open up the possibility that they may lie to us, but more so it opens up the realms of speculation, misinterpretation, subjective opinion, fantasy, and sheer delusion. That is the fundamental nature of getting readings. Readings are subjective, not factual.
There is a lot of value and benefit in exploring things that are subjective, and a lot of healing can come from that. But there are many, many ways to do that, that don't involve hearing someone make predictions about the future.
What makes readings so dangerous is most of them are NOT "fake" or "dishonest." They can have real abilities, and they may be totally sincere about what they are telling you. They could be right about a lot of things, and they could help you a lot, and then you start to get comfortable. You go deeper and deeper into things that are subjective, and it feels, *feels* like they are so right about everything. You feel so much better after you talk to them. Then one day, they turn out to be factually wrong about something, maybe something big, or maybe just something small. But they are so blatantly wrong about it that it makes you question a lot of other things they said, maybe even because those other things are all connected to this one thing they got wrong. So it could mean that they are wrong about the rest of it too. But you're not sure what to believe.
So maybe you call back or message them to get some clarification, because after all they have been right about a lot of other things. And you can tell they really are not "fake" or "dishonest" because they are such a nice person and they have already helped you a lot. You just have a little doubt now about something they said. Like you're sure it can be straightened out really quickly. But, things start to get weird. You can't really get a straight answer. Maybe they suddenly change the subject, or the call/chat get disconnected. You know they wouldn't actually hang up on you because they are not "fake" or "dishonest." So you try to reconnect, but now they aren't available. Oh well, no big deal. You can try again another day.
But there is this gnawing feeling inside you wondering how they got that one thing wrong. Because it really does impact a lot of other things they said, which you thought all along they were right about. But now you realize, you're not totally sure about some other things they said either. You could verify some of those things, but not all of it. Come to think of it, some of what you thought you verified might now be interpreted differently. So you're really, really not sure what to believe anymore. Suddenly your head is spinning trying to figure it out. And look, here is another reader online, that you haven't spoken to in awhile. Maybe you'll just check in with them for a quick reading to see what their take is.
That's how it starts. And any normal, thinking person could get sucked in by this. It is a very slippery slope. You could get by for a long time not really binging or overspending. But the more you listen to them say things that can't be verified as factual, the more you lose your footing on solid ground. Factual information is what keeps us grounded. The very intent behind getting a reading, is to find out something beyond what our own eyes and ears tell us. There's nothing wrong with wanting to do that, and it can be helpful. But it has a lot of pitfalls. It is very, very risky. And the longer it goes on, the more dependent you become on having it be accurate. Not less dependent - more.
No one thinks when they start out getting readings, that they are going to binge or overspend. Some of us go on for years keeping it under control before we start binging - like me! Those first few years, I never thought it would let it get out of control. But those carefully controlled habits are what set up the conditions that led to binging and overspending.
So do I blame the psychics for my choice to start down that path? No not at all. It was my own decision. Do I blame them for my own choice, any of the times I decided to get a reading? No of course not.
But did they do things to push me further down that path, to the point that it became destructive? Yes! Absolutely yes. Not all of them, but certain ones, certain things they did. What some of them did was morally wrong, or unprofessional, or just plain incompetent. I can understand them, and forgive them, and I totally believe that they meant well in almost every case. But I will never excuse those behaviors or blame myself for what they chose to do.
But beyond any of that...I blame it on the nature of readings being highly subjective and prone to error. That's just how it is, and it is the risk we all gamble on when we decide to get readings.
I can't emphasize enough. It is very risky. It is way worse than gambling in a casino because you don't ever win a little money back and get to decide if you want to walk away with those winnings or double down and try again. It is just cumulative spending that you will never, ever, ever get back. What's really at stake is your sense of reality, and your ability to stay grounded, and to see and interprets things clearly.
--- Quote ---I am not sure we will ever know why some things come to pass and others dont? We can all debate - free will, destiny, LOA, high and low vibrations and other energy, did i get too many readings? But there is no way to truly know why some redictions happen and others dont?
--- End quote ---
The answer is simple...if the predictions don't happen, they gave an inaccurate reading. Their reading did not line up with the facts. Any other explanation is just going to lead further and further away from the facts of the situation. It can be really interesting to explore those things - or it can lead to a lot of useless self-blame and trying to fix things. But it doesn't change anything. The facts are what they are.
--- End quote ---
YES!! The bolded paragraph is everything...great post Tired
tellmewhy:
Readings should only be treated as entertainment only and if you're lucky, a prediction may happen.
But I'd say when I was in a really bad spot career-wise, readings helped me not to give up hope even though most of the predictions were wrong within the time frame of expectation plus I think guide doesn't tell you directly where you will be working, they give codes, not sure why?
josh34:
--- Quote from: tellmewhy on January 27, 2019, 06:39:46 PM ---Readings should only be treated as entertainment only and if you're lucky, a prediction may happen.
But I'd say when I was in a really bad spot career-wise, readings helped me not to give up hope even though most of the predictions were wrong within the time frame of expectation plus I think guide doesn't tell you directly where you will be working, they give codes, not sure why?
--- End quote ---
I would not go so far as to say only if you're really lucky theyll happen. You just have got to find a reader who connects well with you and is not a fake. Alot of people have their predictions come through, it is not uncommon:)
And I agree with the latter part of your paragraph most certainly:) I love the optimism!! And I thought about that before. Maybe that is the only way they can connect to a psychic? Or maybe it is because the psychic is not 'trained enough'? I feel it may be symbols "suited for them" and they sorta tailor or make the symbols how the psychic would recognize. If that makes any sense
dascallie:
Agree with SawtheLight on StillTired's wisdom...THIS ...
"I can't emphasize enough. It is very risky. It is way worse than gambling in a casino because you don't ever win a little money back and get to decide if you want to walk away with those winnings or double down and try again. It is just cumulative spending that you will never, ever, ever get back. What's really at stake is your sense of reality, and your ability to stay grounded, and to see and interprets things clearly."
These words from Still Tired are a very important and astute insight--ESPECIALLY the last sentence.
"What's really at stake is your sense of reality, and your ability to stay grounded, and to see and interprets things clearly"
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