Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

How does it work? *warning, very cynical view here*

<< < (8/9) > >>

Miss Philosopher:
@stilltired: Found him on youtube. Gonna watch his videos. Thank you!

star1:

--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on December 02, 2018, 07:59:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: star1 on December 02, 2018, 07:04:51 PM ---
--- Quote from: Still tired on December 02, 2018, 06:56:18 PM ---
--- Quote from: star1 on December 02, 2018, 06:01:17 PM ---Unfortunately, it's hard to change a person, let alone a narc (which is almost impossible). A narcissist has to realise that they are one with the issues, and they never do. They have to realise that they're the problem, and it's always someone else's fault - but don't you dare say it's theirs.
--- End quote ---

Yup, that's narcissism in a nutshell. It's pretty much bulletproof against self-reflection. And tends to suck in people who DO reflect on themselves, who are capable of growing and changing and healing their own issues. They try to heal themselves by proxy through other people who are capable of reflection. They will actually try to push you to do "wrong" things where they can blame you and say you did it and then tell you what the problem is. And you know they are really just talking about themselves but they will never see it.

--- End quote ---


That's what this guy did with me, and even more so the guy before him. I helped him out after asking me for it, and he threw it against me and said it was my choice to help etc. That's what I mean - it's never their fault. Don't you dare say it is. A good book I read is called "Why Is It Always About You?", Miss Philosopher - it explains about narc parents, too, and how it rubs off on the child.. It's an American book, it was insightful.

--- End quote ---

@star1: Holy shit I totally forgot about that! My current one said the same shit to me. I helped him so much, gave him a place to stay, roof over his head, let him use my vehicle before his mommy gave him her car, bought him his gun and uniform for his law enforcement job that he blew. Then he left, came back, bought him another gun and uniform for armed security that he blew again. Bought him interview clothes. I can go on and on and on and on with all the help I've given him and he had the balls to tell me that he never asked me for any help, which is true, but he knew I had a kind heart so he manipulated me anyway. Then when his mom set him up at her cousin's house (an older male who was married etc.) and didn't ask him to pay his way there etc just to get a job and get out on his own, he told me his cousin was giving him "real help" without expecting anything in return. Well, sorry asshole, I didn't own multiple properties like your cousin and have a shit ton in my savings account and own my own home etc. I was barely making it yet sacrificed to give to you and yeah I wanted you to hold down your own weight and be a fucking PARTNER not a manchild that I'd have to care for ffs. Omg that just made me so angry thinking about it. I had completely forgotten that part. That's just a small fraction of it. When my dad was laying in my living room dying from metastatic cancer and was already unconscious, I was trying to sit next to him the entire time and hold his hand and say all the things I never got to say etc. Meanwhile, this asshole called my ex was upset and called me outside to tell me that he felt I wasn't paying enough attention to him and appreciating his presence there with me and how he felt my dad and I had "emotional incest" because I shouldn't be grieving as much as I was over his death. My dad was there for me like a fucking rock my entire life no matter what and it was very hard to know that I would no longer have that one person in my life like that. My mother is a narc so I never did have her. When my dad died, that was it for me. Part of me left with him. This was last year in August. Then, after my dad passed, this asshole got upset because I was grieving and didn't want to know about it. I got this necklace with my dad's fingerprint on it and this asshole got upset because I was wearing it in a picture he took of us together and  didn't want others to think it was a necklace he got me. I could go on and on and on with the stories. I'm actually almost done writing my book about it. It was that damn traumatizing. Don't ask me why I kept waiting for him to reconcile. I don't have a proper logical answer. Part of the abuse cycle I guess. Nevertheless I'm much much better now. Sorry for the rant. Your comment just brought back some things I had tried to forget.

--- End quote ---

"Then, after my dad passed, this asshole got upset because I was grieving and didn't want to know about it." what a lovely guy he is.. Honestly this guy all he ever seems to care about by the sounds of things is himself. I'm sorry to be rude about your POI, but he lacks any compassion for people. Most people would typically understand the death of a parent and be there for and comfort their partner. And sorry if my comment brought up some things that remind you of parts to your situation that you wanted to forget about.

And Still Tired - thanks, I'll check out the link. Thank you for sharing.

Miss Philosopher:
@star1: Unfortunately, you're right.

jhuskindle:
From a reader perspective 90% are cold readers and will tell you he has or had feelings for you to make you feel better and honestly is probably very true, its not easy to hear "This dude does not love you or like you, he is using you for attention, nothing more."

psychic girls:

--- Quote from: jhuskindle on December 04, 2018, 11:05:19 PM ---From a reader perspective 90% are cold readers and will tell you he has or had feelings for you to make you feel better and honestly is probably very true, its not easy to hear "This dude does not love you or like you, he is using you for attention, nothing more."

--- End quote ---
I agree 95 percent of the time your poi not into you anymore but they tell us what we wanted to hear.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page