Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

How does it work? *warning, very cynical view here*

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star1:
Another way for me to explain it is; gut feeling for me literally reminds me of when you've eaten something dodgy or you have a stomach ache, because the feeling actually comes from your gut and it's a feeling you just can't shake off. Like I said, you can do anything and that feeling won't go. Like when you feel sick and have a stomach ache and you want the pain to go and it won't, gut feeling is that constantly twingy feeling in the pit of your gut.. When you know, you'll know.

LAW1974:
[quote


Because the truth is, if he wants you ENOUGH, you will know it, he will come and get you. Period. Men are simple/straightforward.
[/quote]

Actually I dont think it's that simple for anyone!  especially for men!  There are many reasons why even if they have feelings for us, even if those feelings are strong they may choose to ignore them and NOT come back or come after us!  Men are VERY different than women emotionally! 

star1:

--- Quote from: LAW1974 on December 01, 2018, 09:37:03 PM ---[quote


Because the truth is, if he wants you ENOUGH, you will know it, he will come and get you. Period. Men are simple/straightforward.

--- End quote ---

Actually I dont think it's that simple for anyone!  especially for men!  There are many reasons why even if they have feelings for us, even if those feelings are strong they may choose to ignore them and NOT come back or come after us!  Men are VERY different than women emotionally!
[/quote]

I agree that some men will push their feelings down and not do anything about it, some have commitment issues and some are like little boys at heart. But I disagree that over 90% of these men, our POI's and exes on here all love us but won't do anything about it. It's funny how over 95% of men apparently care but won't do much about it supposedly.. All men are different. Some men are feminine in nature being ashamed and shy of rejection etc, and others are tough and if they want something - will go after it.

Miss Philosopher:
Hell, sometimes even the tough ones won't go after the thing they want deep down inside due to pride, ego, and arrogance. They lack humility.

Men are not black and white. Back in the day, maybe they were a bit more black and white, I don't even know. But at this point in time, it seems they're even more complicated than us women. It seems to me that us women seem to know exactly what we want and even attempt to go after it, whereas, these men seem to be confused much of the time. I'm not saying ALL men or ALL women, just many of both.

And yeah, sometimes one can confuse their "intuition" with "trust issues". Some are insecure but what is insecurity? Most of the time, it's just having a hard time trusting a person and most of the time that trust issue is derived from said person somehow betraying you. Betrayal comes in many forms. It can be so simple as that person didn't wash the car on Saturday as they said they would. Now you can't trust the person will do as they say. It can be so simple as when you were talking to the person expressing you had a bad day at work, and they just respond with "sorry to hear" then change the subject. It doesn't always include cheating.

Sometimes some of us just have low self esteem as well and need someone who's going to help build that, rather than display behaviors and execute certain treatments toward us that makes it even worse.

Men are very complicated.

star1:
I don't understand men.. This is going to sound bad written down online, but my POI was a little possessive in our relationship.. So for him to have gone this long without contact, I can't understand.. I would have thought that he would be worrying I'd be moving on and would have done something by now to prevent it or see what I'm upto.

I don't buy men not reaching out because I think they would do anything to prevent you from moving on.. He's surely scared to lose you, some men have a reason to make contact like in my case but I won't say the reason on the board. There isn't alot of excuse. If you love someone why would you go around your life surpressing feelings for someone but dating others? Surely something in you must go "I really can't avoid her, I miss her and I've tried everything but can't move on". I think it's an excuse readers make that he cares but won't reach out. I also think it's something people are saying to themselves to make themselves feel better. "Aww he loves me, but he doesn't want to reach out to me". If it makes you feel better than think that. At the end of the day, none of us know what our POI's and exes are like except the person themselves. So Law and Smoothie, only you two know what he's like.. If he really did care for you, if he has commitment issues so he would be scared to reach out first. Every case is different.

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