Author Topic: So what is it really all about?  (Read 8163 times)

ladya

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Re: So what is it really all about?
« Reply #30 on: December 08, 2018, 02:49:48 AM »
...and no you are not smarter than all your therapists...

You don't know that. The average iq of psychologists is around 110. Most people don't even really comprehend intelligence more than about one standard deviation higher than their own. Maybe 2 deviations at best, but the ability to relate is really anyway strained at that gap. In most professions, competency and training matter more than compatibility. Iq is a good predictor of competency but I mean it doesn't matter if the person fixing your car is less intelligent than you are, so long as they know what they are doing. When it comes to minds, though, and talk therapy, it is tedious to talk to a therapist with a significantly lower iq.


Well if you knew much about psychology you’d know IQ isnt used in any psychological basis, at all, or taken seriously in the mental health care world. Its not seen as an accurrate measure anymore. Also, IQ is not emotional intelligence, which is what actually matters in the professions. Psychopaths and narcissists can have high IQ’s, and they would also be shit therapists for obvious reasons.
I know what youre saying, and sure there are probably dumb therapists out there believe me i get it “surface level” pinterest advice is annoying as hell, but people dont go to school for 6 years and dedicate their entire lives to clinical research just for one guy who thinks they “get it” to come in and off the bat be like “yo i know more than this person!!”.. which is why i said those same therapists he claimed are dumb with “unresolved trauma” likely know he thinks hes smarter than them  before he even had the thought. Trust me, i see this all the time, and its usually adolescents or people with a developmental level of an adolscent with a lot of trust issues and trauma, and its a defense from vulnerability, and its one of the easiest things to spot. Therapists are 9/10 much more observant and aware than people assume, and are just really great at not coming off condescending because that would be idiotic. Do you know how many times a day i “play dumb” to serve a therapeutic purpose? A lot lol. but as far as pure understanding and academic knowledge- no he does not know better and is not smarter than a therapist. he doesnt have the educational background, at all, nor the experience and like i said based on his speaking on it alone , that much is obvious to me.


See. I get it, because ive been to therapists who are a little slower moving than me, i process things quickly and am very self aware- which this person probably is- so someone saying something to me like “using I feel statements is better!” To me is like okay lol, no shit. I need to dig deeper than basic advice.. however I wouldnt chalk that up to the therapists intelligence, but rather their approach/ personal therapuetic style.

 Its a bit like an adolescent who argued with his international law professor because he saw a few youtube videos, and thinks theyre smarter than their dumb ol’ parents at age 14. Or a student who took econ 101 and now thinks they can fix the economy. If anything it shows an issue with authority and a deep distrust and fear of rejection/ vulnerability, but i wont get into that right now.

I agree with this post. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves. People nowadays think they can watch a video or read an article and claim they know more than a licensed professional who spent years of their life studying the actual craft. I see it all the time and the funny part when you’ve dedicated time to a particular field you know how much it took and respect other people in other fields and what they have to say. It’s like a kid with a bunch of books on how to get rich telling a millionaire how he should go about making a million. Too many critics with no credentials as I like to say.

Offline Dreamer23

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Re: So what is it really all about?
« Reply #31 on: December 08, 2018, 04:03:54 AM »
I don't think therapists should be viewed as people who know more than you or who are smarter than you. They should be seen as allies, helping you figure out how to help yourself. Therapy can be very helpful but you have to trust in the process and trust in the therapist.

It shouldn't be a competition of who is better than who. And yes, most therapists have issues themselves which make them good therapists because they can relate to others.

Like in any profession, there are bad ones out there too.

The most important healing aspect of therapy is the relationship you develop with your therapist. Unconditional positive regard should be something very present in the room, and yes some can be judgmental and act superior. Time to find a different one.

I know people whose lives have changed drastically because of therapy. So, at the end of the day, I think therapists help more than they hurt people.

ladya

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Re: So what is it really all about?
« Reply #32 on: December 08, 2018, 04:05:05 AM »
Credenials aren't everything, they only matter as much as the market and customers decide they are worth. If people find more value in videos or articles, that's what they will rely on.

it's frustrating when you're a professional and have people who spent all of 2 hours looking something up and claim they're experts and argue their point to you. I would never claim to know more than a professional in an area im not well versed in. i just find it disrespectful. I understand DOC's frustration and its hard to understand unless you experience firsthand. its really common nowadays with the internet esp in healthcare. you dont have to agree with them but do deserve a level of respect and if a person thinks they know more, they def don't. the more intellectual a person is the less they claim to know or think they know better than someone else. As socrates said "i know that i know nothing"

ladya

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Re: So what is it really all about?
« Reply #33 on: December 08, 2018, 04:56:43 AM »
Still tired tried Inboxing you. Isn’t going through. Inbox me
« Last Edit: December 08, 2018, 05:01:05 AM by ladya »

Offline daughterofcups - P

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Re: So what is it really all about?
« Reply #34 on: December 08, 2018, 05:42:59 AM »
Credenials aren't everything, they only matter as much as the market and customers decide they are worth. If people find more value in videos or articles, that's what they will rely on.

it's frustrating when you're a professional and have people who spent all of 2 hours looking something up and claim they're experts and argue their point to you. I would never claim to know more than a professional in an area im not well versed in. i just find it disrespectful. I understand DOC's frustration and its hard to understand unless you experience firsthand. its really common nowadays with the internet esp in healthcare. you dont have to agree with them but do deserve a level of respect and if a person thinks they know more, they def don't. the more intellectual a person is the less they claim to know or think they know better than someone else. As socrates said "i know that i know nothing"


Wont argue to any of this really. I see both sides of the coin.  I dont think im better than anyone, and any therapist that does isnt a therapist and prob has a bunch of issues- also why would you get into a profession where the purpose and basis is being able to empathize with literally every person!! Even situations where i have to work with for example a convicted rapist. Gotta put that stuff aside, they need help too.. I also would never tell angone what to do as a therapist or even give advice. My job isnt to fix people, its to help them develop the tools to make those choices for themselves. A good piece of advice (ha) if youre going to a therapist btw- if they make assumptions without meeting with you for very long, or give you their opinion off the bat (esp without asked) or tell you what to do- that isnt a good therapist lol, i hope that doesnt happen but hey, there are crazies out there  im sure.
I think i was just pointing to the “i have no classes or experience in  learning psychology at all but i know better than the psychologists” attitude. Specifically the way he explained attachment theory and described several psych theories (incorrectly).

Idk what to say about psychics but this happens in the medical profession all the time- so thanks  to the other poster who articulated this much better than me. Theres a reason for unions and licensing.

Its actually funny because generally if i have a client in a therapy session who walks in and acts superior/ condescending my response is to be like “oh? Wow okay tell me more” and i let them talk. Usually people with narcissistic tendencies do this. But i also sympthize on the other side, because working with the field, half of my frustration is with the system and OTHER people in mental health lol. Never a client.

Ego shouldnt matter at all. Hell ive had jobs with very  ill, marginalized people  who yelled “fuck you bitch!!” 3x a day and id be like “okay well that hurts me To hear but i think you know how to be respectful, so if youre feeling like you can be respectful later feel free to come to the therapy group!!” lol. People with a big ego are not compatible in our world. So its really hard to come by. Part of beinf a therapist requires a temperpant/disposition for that reason.

Usually someone storming out and saying “therapy doesnt work for me i dont need it!” Just has some stuff to deal with i have zero control over, and i know that, and thats ok. but i do my best to get them whatever help they deserve.

Ive noticed this is not present in psychics. Theyre more just people off the street trying to offer counseling... which is why it can be so dangerous

Offline daughterofcups - P

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Re: So what is it really all about?
« Reply #35 on: December 08, 2018, 05:54:32 AM »
I don't think therapists should be viewed as people who know more than you or who are smarter than you. They should be seen as allies, helping you figure out how to help yourself. Therapy can be very helpful but you have to trust in the process and trust in the therapist.

It shouldn't be a competition of who is better than who. And yes, most therapists have issues themselves which make them good therapists because they can relate to others.

Like in any profession, there are bad ones out there too.

The most important healing aspect of therapy is the relationship you develop with your therapist. Unconditional positive regard should be something very present in the room, and yes some can be judgmental and act superior. Time to find a different one.

I know people whose lives have changed drastically because of therapy. So, at the end of the day, I think therapists help more than they hurt people.


Also wanted to add— yes to this! Agree.

Didnt mean to come off like im better or smarter (im not)- most therapists have therapists because they understand the value and importance. Its something i believe everyone deserves. I meant to articulate that people are professionals and state licensed  for a reason- i dont think i have all the answers but thats the point. Again my job, and any good therapist would tell you, isnt to give answers or offer advice or tell you what to do. Most of the time its me helping a client make their own decisions, learn skills to cope in healthy ways, etc. and the reason our job isnt telling people what to do, or giving opinions, is just that- we dont know your life or experiences better than you do! No one will ever “know” what its like to be you, be we’d like to try to understand and listen.

Anyway. End of rant. But i hope this helps clarify things and highlights the vital differences, and why psychics are dangerous. Also im pretty wholistic and open, so  i get the frustration with medical doctors as well. I guess its upsetting to hear someone incorrectly explain a field of study ive dedicated a huge portion of my life to, one which they have no background in. Theres too much of that today.

Offline Dreamer23

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Re: So what is it really all about?
« Reply #36 on: December 09, 2018, 02:57:36 PM »
I don't think therapists should be viewed as people who know more than you or who are smarter than you. They should be seen as allies, helping you figure out how to help yourself. Therapy can be very helpful but you have to trust in the process and trust in the therapist.

It shouldn't be a competition of who is better than who. And yes, most therapists have issues themselves which make them good therapists because they can relate to others.

Like in any profession, there are bad ones out there too.

The most important healing aspect of therapy is the relationship you develop with your therapist. Unconditional positive regard should be something very present in the room, and yes some can be judgmental and act superior. Time to find a different one.

I know people whose lives have changed drastically because of therapy. So, at the end of the day, I think therapists help more than they hurt people.


Also wanted to add— yes to this! Agree.

Didnt mean to come off like im better or smarter (im not)- most therapists have therapists because they understand the value and importance. Its something i believe everyone deserves. I meant to articulate that people are professionals and state licensed  for a reason- i dont think i have all the answers but thats the point. Again my job, and any good therapist would tell you, isnt to give answers or offer advice or tell you what to do. Most of the time its me helping a client make their own decisions, learn skills to cope in healthy ways, etc. and the reason our job isnt telling people what to do, or giving opinions, is just that- we dont know your life or experiences better than you do! No one will ever “know” what its like to be you, be we’d like to try to understand and listen.

Anyway. End of rant. But i hope this helps clarify things and highlights the vital differences, and why psychics are dangerous. Also im pretty wholistic and open, so  i get the frustration with medical doctors as well. I guess its upsetting to hear someone incorrectly explain a field of study ive dedicated a huge portion of my life to, one which they have no background in. Theres too much of that today.

Daughterofcups - it never came across that you insinuated that therapists know better. It's just that some people on this board have this belief that when they go see a therapist, that the therapist will act superior in some way. If they do, then that's not a good therapist. But the good ones are not like that.

Offline daughterofcups - P

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Re: So what is it really all about?
« Reply #37 on: December 18, 2018, 11:23:58 PM »
I don't think therapists should be viewed as people who know more than you or who are smarter than you. They should be seen as allies, helping you figure out how to help yourself. Therapy can be very helpful but you have to trust in the process and trust in the therapist.

It shouldn't be a competition of who is better than who. And yes, most therapists have issues themselves which make them good therapists because they can relate to others.

Like in any profession, there are bad ones out there too.

The most important healing aspect of therapy is the relationship you develop with your therapist. Unconditional positive regard should be something very present in the room, and yes some can be judgmental and act superior. Time to find a different one.

I know people whose lives have changed drastically because of therapy. So, at the end of the day, I think therapists help more than they hurt people.


Also wanted to add— yes to this! Agree.

Didnt mean to come off like im better or smarter (im not)- most therapists have therapists because they understand the value and importance. Its something i believe everyone deserves. I meant to articulate that people are professionals and state licensed  for a reason- i dont think i have all the answers but thats the point. Again my job, and any good therapist would tell you, isnt to give answers or offer advice or tell you what to do. Most of the time its me helping a client make their own decisions, learn skills to cope in healthy ways, etc. and the reason our job isnt telling people what to do, or giving opinions, is just that- we dont know your life or experiences better than you do! No one will ever “know” what its like to be you, be we’d like to try to understand and listen.

Anyway. End of rant. But i hope this helps clarify things and highlights the vital differences, and why psychics are dangerous. Also im pretty wholistic and open, so  i get the frustration with medical doctors as well. I guess its upsetting to hear someone incorrectly explain a field of study ive dedicated a huge portion of my life to, one which they have no background in. Theres too much of that today.

Daughterofcups - it never came across that you insinuated that therapists know better. It's just that some people on this board have this belief that when they go see a therapist, that the therapist will act superior in some way. If they do, then that's not a good therapist. But the good ones are not like that.

Ahh okay good, just making sure! Thanks!Also, spot on. It can be scary being vulnerable and letting someone in in that way. I think a big part of that fear or assumption probably comes from projective thinking on their part

 

anything