Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

Lacking closure

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Synergy:
Hi everyone,

I can relate to all the frustration, sadness, and anger expressed in this thread.  Speaking of closure, I doubt everyone will be able to get that from the person who walked away without explanation.  I am so tired of wasting money and energy on someone who just ended things abruptly without showing the decency to tell me why.  Do I still think he's my soulmate?  Of course.  Am I willing to put my life on hold for him?  Not anymore. 

He wouldn't provide closure or much of anything since May, so you know what I did?  I started listening to my heart and soul instead of the advice of strangers charging per minute.  I poured my emotions into a letter, and I gave it to him yesterday.  I don't expect anything from that, BUT (even though I did call a psychic after I gave him this letter   :-[  )  I feel so much better!  I feel free today!  I'd love for him to come to the realization that I love him and would give anything to make him happy, but that's probably not going to happen, with or without my letter. 

I can't keep questioning my own actions and wondering what affect they'll have on him.  If he can be selfish, than I can too.  I was selfish by taking up his precious study time with my letter, but it's important to me, and if he cared about me it'd be important to him too. 

I hope to get to a point where I won't have to call psychics anymore.  It's financially and emotionally draining.  Plus I keep hearing the same thing without any real progress.  We're torturing ourselves.   

sunandmoon:
I did my letter to him in May 2010. His mom knew about it, loved it, and knew when I came over to hand it to him. My plan had been to let him read it, ask him if he could tell me to my face that we were done, kiss him on the forehead, tell him I loved him and walk away and let him contact me. Well she showed up as I was there (KNOWING what I was doing) and started to talk to him. It rattled me so much I forgot about the question and kiss and I just ended up walking away after he read it. I had sent him heartfelt emails through June 2010 and he read them but would never respond or talk to me about them. Once he came over for help with something and I tried to talk to him again (he said he'd reread my letter and get back to me - never happened) and he almost bolted out the door.

Fact is he just doesn't want any sort of r/s in his life now and hasn't for awhile, for whatever reason. I tell myself I triggered his abandonment fears (his prior g/f left him) because I wasn't ready for him to move in due to my own divorce issues but again that is taking too much blame on myself. His family never helped matters, when he'd complain I wasn't allowing him to move in (mere months after my divorce), don't you think the NORMAL thing for people to do would be to say to give me some time to heal? Especially when some of these people have been divorced, flip flopped between 2 partners, had affairs etc? But nope, they all sided with him and I became this evil person only out to please myself.

I have gotten over the psychic addiction but it took getting into this new r/s to do so. I have finally realized that they don't know all though I do believe some have very true gifts. I have learned so much about myself and people in general (I've always been intuitive and able to read people) that I feel if I stay in tune with myself I can do just as good a job with this new r/s without them. Honestly I've been able to read my own situation with my ex about as good as the psychics have because I know him so well. And I knew this as I made every single call but I kept hoping that there would be that ONE psychic that would tune in so fantastically that all my questions would be answered. Now I have a huge cc bill to pay off and no one to blame but myself.

I only talked to Gina Rose once and she was one of the few that predicted a 2012 resolution. I was extremely disappointed in Winter. I had a reading with her and she did pick up on the other person though I didn't want to believe it. Then when I found out, I called Winter again, so excited that she had pegged something no one else did, and she repeated almost word for word what she had said to me months earlier and this time I KNEW there was no one else. That was before I knew we could get refunds.

I don't even know if I have any money left in my CP account. Sometimes I am tempted to read with Verbena when she comes back but then I think if I do have money it's probably not much and I should just close out the account.

It saddens me that I allowed someone to make me feel like this. It's one thing to stop eating and sleeping and sink into a depression but this was just crazy. No one in my life knows of this save a few online friends, I am so embarrassed about it!

4everhopeful:
Sunandmoon, Please dont be embarrassed with us. We have all done the same thing as you. Thank goodness I only spent money that I had at the moment so I dont still owe for those psychic readings. But I wont be guilty of calling anymore. I do believe some people have true gifts and I have a friend that has such a gift, but it is random with him and he cant just focus on someone who calls him and get messages. His is more random and just comes to him suddenly and unexpected, but his visions and feelings always come true. So I do believe in psychic abilities. I just dont believe anymore in these people sitting by their phone and taking calls from complete strangers all day long and seeing their future. My story has proved them wrong. Honestly, I think my intuition is just as strong as any of these psychics. And Im following my intuition these days. When I talk to a new man I pay attention to what that small still voice within me is saying. And I think I will do so much better on my own without the outside influence of the psychics.
Am I embarrassed about all those calls I made and how much money I spent? Of course I am. But not in front of my new friends here. Cause I know you all understand and I want you to understand too Sunandmoon. We all understand where you were when you made all those calls. You were hurting just as we all were. This forum has done so much for me. I know some have seen their predictions come true, but most have not. So that tells me it is better for us to go on and live our lives and make our own decisions.
If anything does ever come from the predictions I received, I will post the updates here first thing. But dont hold your breath, lol. Im just happy to know there is a place I can come and vent my frustrations when Im feeling down and also celebrate someone elses victory when their predictions do come to pass.
We gonna be ok guys and girls. Those that left us behind and dont come back will and have suffered a great loss. We all still have each other. And thats a great thing.  ;D

sunandmoon:
I was reading my old thread from two months ago. I pulled up my Jean notes, it was right after I saw there was a definite possibility of dating the new guy. (end of August).

She pretty accurately described both guys. She told me to continue with the new guy, but to stay friends and not mention the past (we are more than friends and I did tell him of my past because people we work with know my exs family!).

She said it may take a couple of weeks for my ex to get his head of out his ass and contact me and she felt it would be because he got wind of the new guy. It's been almost 4 months now and nothing.

So much for THAT prediction.

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