Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
My Psychic Experiences
star1:
--- Quote from: 11jlady on November 13, 2018, 04:54:06 PM ---I think the reason why males return quicker than females is because usually a male will make a knee jerk decision and break up or leave the situation thinking the grass is greener on the other side because his current girl had some mood swings or something. They are way too quick to make those decisions. Then they go find out that the grass on the other side isn't really greener, it's just green where you actually water it.
Females typically think things through and have more staying power to deal with stuff and so when we actually make the decision to leave a relationship, more often than not, we have thought things through for a very long time and most likely haven't been happy for a very long time so then we make that choice and typically, once a female leaves, she isn't leaving for a "break" but rather to find a completely new permanent mate.
Now that isn't ALWAYS the case. But that's statistically speaking and is the case most of the time.
Just like usually when a man cheats, it's just for either emotional or physical gratification but they have no intentions of leaving the relationship permanently. It's more for selfish purposes. However, most of the time when a female cheats, she's actually looking to move on and looking for a new partner rather than just temporary thrills, but she isn't able to be alone so she has to cheat to find someone else before ending what she is currently in.
Just my observations.
--- End quote ---
I've noticed this with men. That most cheat because they aren't "getting enough", or something isn't making them happy (obviously). But they still love the woman they're with, and don't want to necessarily leave her.
11jlady:
No offense to any men on here but, it seems to me that when a man isn't sure how to rectify his wrong doings, he runs instead and tries to "start all over". Then, with the more egotistical macho men, they have too much pride and ego to ever even admit that they are wrong even if they know deep down they're all messed up. Then, you have the selfish men that will cheat, blame you and justify it cause you weren't "there for them" or "giving them what they need" and in most cases, that's impossible because they're too high maintenance, and then when you get upset about their crappy ways, they just leave rather than change their bad behavior. In all of the above cases, it's a matter of emotional immaturity and lack of growth.
Then you have the emotionally matured men that will actually sit down and say "How can we fix this. Let's come up with a compromise." Typically, with these kind of men, they are not selfish, they do not cheat, they don't lie much etc. They know how to love and they know how to give of themselves in every way. Unfortunately, these men are rare these days. Lol.
sparky:
Good observations 11jlady. I think you are right on those. Now in my situation I do think it could be a rare case but it will take time for her to come back. Why I think that is my ex ending it abruptly. No one saw it coming in fact even two days prior she was asking for a ring. I was actually looking at rings at the time. I know after she ended it she was completely miserable more so than I have ever witnessed anyone in my life. Even some of her own friends were confused about why she ended it. I think the problem in my situation is really outside sources. My ex really wears her heart on her sleeve and there are people out there that know this. They use it to their advantage. I think they are the sole issue with trying to make her live a life they want. These are people that would get jealous at her because she would mention I bought her flowers randomly. They would get upset because their SO wasn't doing that to them. As a result they cause drama because if they are miserable they want everyone else as well. These are also people that go to marriage counseling to work on a marriage but yet go on dates with guys while saying their husband is the problem. These were people that my ex was getting relationship advice from.
One thing is that my ex has yet to really miss me. I think that is the key thing and with certain milestones in our relationship coming up. I think that will weigh on her and she will finally stick up for herself. Including breaking up with her current guy. Which is what a couple of the psychics have predicted. Is she will want to get back together for herself. Which is why I find her losing friendships right now so interesting. Not that the psychics predicted that but I did. So that is why the timelines interest me. I just basically need her to miss me right now and trust in my spirit guides to do their thing. If it happens great. If not that is great too.
sparky:
--- Quote from: 11jlady on November 13, 2018, 05:07:18 PM ---No offense to any men on here but, it seems to me that when a man isn't sure how to rectify his wrong doings, he runs instead and tries to "start all over". Then, with the more egotistical macho men, they have too much pride and ego to ever even admit that they are wrong even if they know deep down they're all messed up. Then, you have the selfish men that will cheat, blame you and justify it cause you weren't "there for them" or "giving them what they need" and in most cases, that's impossible because they're too high maintenance, and then when you get upset about their crappy ways, they just leave rather than change their bad behavior. In all of the above cases, it's a matter of emotional immaturity and lack of growth.
Then you have the emotionally matured men that will actually sit down and say "How can we fix this. Let's come up with a compromise." Typically, with these kind of men, they are not selfish, they do not cheat, they don't lie much etc. They know how to love and they know how to give of themselves in every way. Unfortunately, these men are rare these days. Lol.
--- End quote ---
No offense taken from me ;D In fact I can see where you are coming from. I really wanted to work on my relationship with my ex. I was willing to do anything. I was more upset that she wasn't willing to put in the work to fix it. She literally just gave up. But with her friends I can see why. They were not going to allow her to talk to me.
LAW1974:
--- Quote from: 11jlady on November 13, 2018, 05:07:18 PM ---No offense to any men on here but, it seems to me that when a man isn't sure how to rectify his wrong doings, he runs instead and tries to "start all over". Then, with the more egotistical macho men, they have too much pride and ego to ever even admit that they are wrong even if they know deep down they're all messed up. Then, you have the selfish men that will cheat, blame you and justify it cause you weren't "there for them" or "giving them what they need" and in most cases, that's impossible because they're too high maintenance, and then when you get upset about their crappy ways, they just leave rather than change their bad behavior. In all of the above cases, it's a matter of emotional immaturity and lack of growth.
Then you have the emotionally matured men that will actually sit down and say "How can we fix this. Let's come up with a compromise." Typically, with these kind of men, they are not selfish, they do not cheat, they don't lie much etc. They know how to love and they know how to give of themselves in every way. Unfortunately, these men are rare these days. Lol.
--- End quote ---
UGH - my POI is like a total combo of the first paragraph.... My ex husband is the second, I know and I left him....(but i dont want him back) why are we drawn to avoidant personalities?
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