Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
Divine Love
Fidget1028:
Ok, so here's my story, so you can see that it's a little unique and I can usually tell if I am getting "lines" from psychics:
I met POI in July of 2016 through my stepdaughter and a mutual friend who works with him. I had been divorced a couple of years and he was divorced about 5 years. It was kind of a joke, like let's put you two together since you both are just looking for Friday night date nights. We went out and honestly, I didn't think it would work. We are very different, but there was some sort of connection that I can't really explain even now. He told me in the first 30 minutes how 1) he has a heart condition 2) his youngest son is a heroin addict 3) he had filed bankruptcy and was served with divorce papers while recovering from open heart surgery and 4) had to take his mother off life support all within the same couple of years. He looked at me to see my reaction. He was used to people taking off when they heard his history. I was the first who didn't walk away. I wasn't really invested in it at the time, so I figured let's see where this goes.
I dated him for 10 months. He was very insecure. He always said that I was too good for him and gave a lot of indications that he thought I would leave. He was self-sabotaging a lot. He did have good traits though, and most of his insecurities were in his own head. He was gainfully employed, good looking (to me anyway), very loyal, and very protective of me. Everything I wanted in a man.
We broke up in May of 2017. There was an argument, but nothing that warranted a break up. He faded out of the relationship with excuses that he had to work or was tired or not feeling well, etc. He contacted me in August and seemed like he wanted to reconnect, but again, things didn't go anywhere. In October I found out that his addicted son got arrested in August, September, and October on drug charges. The October arrest was a felony charge, that landed him in jail for a couple of months (through the Thanksgiving holiday). Not only did he get arrested 3 times, but in between his arrests, my POI found him unconscious from an OD and thought he was dead. He had to Narcan him. I also found out that he had been paying for the rehabs and legal fees in cash (remember, he had a bankruptcy, so he didn't have credit). So he was in huge financial problems again.
So, in May of this year, I tried again to reach out. He seemed receptive and we made plans to get together to catch up. He ended bailing at the last minute saying he had too much to do and just couldn't make it. I flipped out. Maybe it was wrong for me to lose my shit, but I was so frustrated at this point, I couldn't control myself. I told him that it's apparent that we are in different places in our lives, that I am looking for someone to grow old with, and that I wished him love and happiness. I never heard from him again.
My readings have all said we would reconnect although timelines have passed. DL and Zadalia were the 2 people who picked up addiction immediately with a child. They are empaths though, and don't do timelines. They felt the love was there and that he wants to reconnect when he is ready. He has regrets and knows he wasn't fair to me. DL said he needs support like Al-anon. Kisha said the reconnect would be 2/8, 2/6, and 2/4. Since I read with her every 2 months since June, it appears that the 2 may be February and the second number looks like the number of months (which actually aligns). Idk, it's a difficult situation. Part of me says move on. Part of me knows he needs me.
njlady:
If you want someone to be really honest with you, you are being codependent with an extremely codependent man who has really low self-esteem. This is a guy who needs to get himself and his shit together on his own before he gets into a relationship with anyone. The support he needs has to come from a professional. He doesn't "need" you, he needs to get his act together for himself, by himself.
My sister is an addict and her legal fees and financial problems are her problems. I don't fund her any more. There was a time when I did. I made the choice to think with my head and not my heart because my well-being is more important than her screwing up again. She can get a public defender and free rehab. I'm not jeopardizing my financial security over her poor choices ever again.
I would stop getting timelines from people. You're just frustrating yourself. Call him and get together last minute for coffee (don't advance plan because he will bail - do a fake run into if you have to) and just have a talk about how he is doing, did he join a support group, etc. and just check in once in a while so he knows you are still around and interested in general without being codependent. You really don't need a psychic to do this. You're wasting money.
If he pulls it off, you've got yourself a man. He won't forget how you kept in touch but still stood your ground and respected yourself at the same time.
dascallie:
--- Quote from: Fidget1028 on November 18, 2018, 02:51:22 PM ---Ok, so here's my story, so you can see that it's a little unique and I can usually tell if I am getting "lines" from psychics:
I met POI in July of 2016 through my stepdaughter and a mutual friend who works with him. I had been divorced a couple of years and he was divorced about 5 years. It was kind of a joke, like let's put you two together since you both are just looking for Friday night date nights. We went out and honestly, I didn't think it would work. We are very different, but there was some sort of connection that I can't really explain even now. He told me in the first 30 minutes how 1) he has a heart condition 2) his youngest son is a heroin addict 3) he had filed bankruptcy and was served with divorce papers while recovering from open heart surgery and 4) had to take his mother off life support all within the same couple of years. He looked at me to see my reaction. He was used to people taking off when they heard his history. I was the first who didn't walk away. I wasn't really invested in it at the time, so I figured let's see where this goes.
I dated him for 10 months. He was very insecure. He always said that I was too good for him and gave a lot of indications that he thought I would leave. He was self-sabotaging a lot. He did have good traits though, and most of his insecurities were in his own head. He was gainfully employed, good looking (to me anyway), very loyal, and very protective of me. Everything I wanted in a man.
We broke up in May of 2017. There was an argument, but nothing that warranted a break up. He faded out of the relationship with excuses that he had to work or was tired or not feeling well, etc. He contacted me in August and seemed like he wanted to reconnect, but again, things didn't go anywhere. In October I found out that his addicted son got arrested in August, September, and October on drug charges. The October arrest was a felony charge, that landed him in jail for a couple of months (through the Thanksgiving holiday). Not only did he get arrested 3 times, but in between his arrests, my POI found him unconscious from an OD and thought he was dead. He had to Narcan him. I also found out that he had been paying for the rehabs and legal fees in cash (remember, he had a bankruptcy, so he didn't have credit). So he was in huge financial problems again.
So, in May of this year, I tried again to reach out. He seemed receptive and we made plans to get together to catch up. He ended bailing at the last minute saying he had too much to do and just couldn't make it. I flipped out. Maybe it was wrong for me to lose my shit, but I was so frustrated at this point, I couldn't control myself. I told him that it's apparent that we are in different places in our lives, that I am looking for someone to grow old with, and that I wished him love and happiness. I never heard from him again.
My readings have all said we would reconnect although timelines have passed. DL and Zadalia were the 2 people who picked up addiction immediately with a child. They are empaths though, and don't do timelines. They felt the love was there and that he wants to reconnect when he is ready. He has regrets and knows he wasn't fair to me. DL said he needs support like Al-anon. Kisha said the reconnect would be 2/8, 2/6, and 2/4. Since I read with her every 2 months since June, it appears that the 2 may be February and the second number looks like the number of months (which actually aligns). Idk, it's a difficult situation. Part of me says move on. Part of me knows he needs me.
--- End quote ---
I feel ya! I too have a ridiculously convoluted situation with an POI with all kinds of health, money, family and contributing factors (his side of things, not mine)--I think it's these kind of situations--that are so confounding--with so many hot/cold/on/off dynamics that can keep us stuck on flypaper.
Because we just DO NOT GET how this man who we stood by through the messiness, can just drop off the map and seemingly erase us after we both were so *in love* not that long ago and we (you and me, us girls) provided so much unconditional love, care and support.
In my case, to be honest I really do think I get stuck because the rejection by someone I loved and tried to support (even after he dumped me and we are now on installment 2, with him reconnecting and now he's MIA AGAIN)--strikes at the heart of my struggle around my own self worth, AKA codependency.
Mine was a battling family, hypercritical, unloving parents that have really haunted my relationships-and I'm close to retirement!
But I know this situation is best left in my rear view mirror, easier said than done.
So I call psychics seeking that one piece of golden insight OR that unrevealed knowledge that actually that, YES! He does want to come back! He loves me like no other! He is sorry he screwed this up and wants to make it right!
He just is afraid to say it! Really?
Hmm. If it's not happening, there's a reason :-\
star1:
It seems to me like this guy met you, but at the wrong time of his life when everything was going tits up. It's like he has to sort himself out and his Son before he can have a relationship, and he probably does feel deep down that you could do better. He probably (almost certainly) feels guilt and embarrassment for how he has this stuff going on, and probably wants you and to be with you but knows he couldn't be consistent until all of this crap is sorted. I am sure he does want to be with you, but he can't whilst all of this is going on. I'm unsure what "felony" means as you guys talk a little differently over there, but this man will be stressed and his self esteem and regard for himself and life will be chipping away.
Sorry to say it's going to be hard for him to maintain a steady relationship with anybody (let alone yourself) until these issues are fixed or gets better. He also needs the help and therapy, it's not only his Son who is in a mess. Like it must be so hard to see your child going through a drug addiction and wasting their life away, and at the same time he's probably wanted to see you and make things work with you, too. I'm pretty sure that timings will be impossible to guess - how long's a piece of string ? So I'd suggest perhaps dating in the meantime or doing the stuff that you do to keep busy, because this could take years and years.
Fidget1028:
--- Quote from: njlady on November 18, 2018, 04:18:42 PM ---If you want someone to be really honest with you, you are being codependent with an extremely codependent man who has really low self-esteem. This is a guy who needs to get himself and his shit together on his own before he gets into a relationship with anyone. The support he needs has to come from a professional. He doesn't "need" you, he needs to get his act together for himself, by himself.
My sister is an addict and her legal fees and financial problems are her problems. I don't fund her any more. There was a time when I did. I made the choice to think with my head and not my heart because my well-being is more important than her screwing up again. She can get a public defender and free rehab. I'm not jeopardizing my financial security over her poor choices ever again.
I would stop getting timelines from people. You're just frustrating yourself. Call him and get together last minute for coffee (don't advance plan because he will bail - do a fake run into if you have to) and just have a talk about how he is doing, did he join a support group, etc. and just check in once in a while so he knows you are still around and interested in general without being codependent. You really don't need a psychic to do this. You're wasting money.
If he pulls it off, you've got yourself a man. He won't forget how you kept in touch but still stood your ground and respected yourself at the same time.
--- End quote ---
Wow...that sounds just a bit judgmental. I know you mean well, but wow. First, yeah, I would be there if he needed me, but hardly codependent. It was me who told him to seek out al-anon and explained to him that he needed to allow his son to accept consequences for his actions before I cut ties with him 6 months ago. Second, this is his son. As a parent I know how hard it is to not want to save your child. Especially when it's life and death. I'm no stranger to addicts and alcoholics, and it's still different when it's your child.
With that said, I will consider the source when you tell me to save my money. It appears you also have a bit of a psychic spending habit, so pot meet kettle.
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