Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com

Should I just reach out?

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Kate:

--- Quote from: Illumin8 on January 12, 2018, 11:09:57 AM ---sorry. if it were me, i wouldn't contact him. you have said yourself that he is the type of guy that likes to be in control and would want to be in the drivers seat. I have been in your position before and did reach out to a POI at the time and NEVER heard back. You may or may not get a response. He has ghosted you and when a man does this, there is ALWAYS a reason. If a man truly wants to see you, talk to you or be with you ... history time and time again says that they will reach out when they want to. I get it, it sucks. I know. If this Tara woman is correct, then get real busy and they will contact when their timing is right. But don't hang around and make peace with the situation.

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I tend to agree with this advice. I reached out to a POI too soon and it did not go well. I fully understand the emotions around it.. I know how terribly hard it can be to be in limbo - not hearing from someone you still feel and love.. but unless you have a strong strong sign to reach out, I would leave it.. BTW I KNOW how hard it is to be busy.. .. focusing on anything when you're in emotional pain is excessively. The worst pain is emotional pain.. it lingers and affects every area of your life.. I know.. 

whskers:

--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 12, 2018, 11:14:03 AM ---
--- Quote from: Illumin8 on January 12, 2018, 11:09:57 AM ---sorry. if it were me, i wouldn't contact him. you have said yourself that he is the type of guy that likes to be in control and would want to be in the drivers seat. I have been in your position before and did reach out to a POI at the time and NEVER heard back. You may or may not get a response. He has ghosted you and when a man does this, there is ALWAYS a reason. If a man truly wants to see you, talk to you or be with you ... history time and time again says that they will reach out when they want to. I get it, it sucks. I know. If this Tara woman is correct, then get real busy and they will contact when their timing is right. But don't hang around and make peace with the situation.

--- End quote ---

Agree 100%

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Agree 200%

Luckystar:

--- Quote from: AustralieNs on January 12, 2018, 06:17:44 AM ---I've been hoping to hear from a guy I was seeing for almost three months now. At this point it feels like it's getting ridiculous. I'm always in pain because I'm not hearing from him and I think I want to take control and contact him. It would be MUCH better if HE were the one to reach out to ME but what if he never does? So many top readers see contact happening in January- so I'm thinking of waiting out January- but if I don't hear anything by February 1, just texting him something friendly/casual. But tonight I spoke to Tara from CP and she gave me a time of five weeks- putting me at Mid February. I hate when continuously getting readings keeps you shifting your focus to later and later timelines, so I think I might just cut it off at Feb 1 anyway. Now, I have been warned a million times this guy would much rather be the one to make contact and easily feels pushed and pressured- and I can attest to this. So reaching out is risky (hence psychics). What do you guys think I should do? Is Tara really that trustworthy? Have any of you defied the timelines and reached out on your own? Did you regret it? Should I contact him?

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I thought about this for a few minutes because initially I would have given the practical advice of "wait for him to reach out to you"

I think I need more information. What were the circumstances? Did you guys have a fight? Were things going well but then he just stopped responding? Were you moving too fast? Regardless, since you stated that you were dating for three months I think that warrants an explanation.

AustralieNs:
Thank you so much for all your input, ladies! I feel like I agree with everyone agghh! I really like the idea that I'm only tempted to reach out to settle my own anxiety arising from waiting- which is true. I guess the absolute strongest thing to do is not reach out at all and make peace with the idea he may never text me. At the same time I like the idea of just finding out he's not "scared" or whatever- he's just a jerk- and letting go in a way I haven't been able to yet.

Luckystar- here's the breakdown. On the heels of our own traumatic breakups, he and I both joined a dating site and "met" that way. We texted for like nine months and continuously flaked on each other- when one was ready to be brave - the other would have second thoughts. When we finally met it was amazing. He lives far so he drove two hours to my house and spent the whole weekend with me- which neither of us expected. He was like immediately all about it. He would say things like "that's an us thing" and "I wanna drive across the whole country with you" and "I don't care what we do I just wanna be with you that's all I care about" and "well as long as you like my hair that's all that matters" etc. introduced me to everyone in his life, family friends boss. We spent weekends with each other. We started to have some tension surrounding him making plans to see me one weekend and then going to his friends cabin instead without telling me. Then he got flakey with texts and his mom went into the hospital with a heart issue- he started telling me he was getting stressed with life and it was hard having his weekends eaten up- which I got. I was never demanding of his time I just wanted a heads up if he wasnt coming up so I could make my own plans. One day after he ignored my text for like a whole day I said "can you tell me what's going on". He said "I don't feel committted to a relationship but I LOVE the time we spend together and I like you a lot" I wasn't sure if that meant he wanted a relationship eventually or not. I asked him to call me about it sometime soon. He said sure but I could tell in the routine texting of the following days he was shy about it and probably not going to call. What I said was scary, I'll admit. I said "well I need to decide if I want to keep seeing you" and he said "but I want to keep talking to you and seeing you!" And I said "well call me so I can figure out where your head is at and see if I want that too." A couple days later I was impatient and texted him "how about tonight" and when he didn't respond by that night, I blocked him on social media. He probably thinks I don't want to hear from him but he's all I think about

sawthelight:
hmmm after reading your story, I'm not sure now.  I still lean towards waiting for him to reach out though...that way you know he really wanted to see/talk to you instead of just maybe trying to be polite by responding to you. 

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