Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
turning off my keen account
Lyssa:
--- Quote from: Baypark1 on December 27, 2017, 09:01:22 PM ---@Fluttershy and Peppie
I have been exactly where you are at. I was focused ONLY my ex and psychics and couldn't function. My business was failing, I couldn't pay my bills, I drained my savings and I felt like there was something seriously wrong with me. I would get so anxious I would shake. It was horrible!
I don't remember exactly the day it happened, but I started to look back at all of my readings and it really sank in that nothing happened as they said it would. In my gut I knew he was never coming back and I had felt this for months. I felt it but it didn't stop me from getting readings. One of my last readings with Keisha she told me that this may not be the best for me (this guy) and that when he does come back he won't give me what I wanted and deserved. She actually PM'd me to tell me that even though something may happen, doesn't mean its the best thing for me. At the same time I was once again realizing that this guy wasn't good for me. From that point forward I started to cut back on the calls. I haven't had a reading in over a month. I didn't stop all at once. I went from 10 calls a day, to 5, to 3 to 1 then 3 a week, 1 a week etc. I got to the point that when I did call, I knew what they were telling me was bullshit. Why was I calling? I don't know. Habit? Addiction? Who knows. I can't tell you why. Even now, when I get the urge to call I don't because the urge passes when I remind myself that nothing is going to come of these readings. I'm wasting my money.
The bottom line for me is I KNEW there was something underlying for the reason I was calling and hanging on to this guy. I kept searching online for addiction, obsessing over an ex, how to let go etc. Finally I found Susan Anderson and it resonated with me. I also started working again from Louise Hays book "You can heal your life". Between the two, I finally go. I don't obsess anymore nor do I have that craving to call.
Ladies (and gents) this is an addiction. Bottom line. At one point I found some 12 step AA worksheets that I did and replaced the alcohol with readings. I'm also a recovering alcoholic FYI. I remember when I started getting bad drinking, I would think this isn't normal to drink so much. Its NOT. It's also not normal to call psychics as much as we do. There is a underlying reason you do and you have to figure out what that it. For me, it was lack of self worth and abandonment/rejection issues. You will have to find your reason but I guarantee there is a reason and it's not that you're just crazy. You're not. Remind yourself of these things and keep repeating them to yourself 1000 times a day if you have to.
1) I do not have to call at this minute - Just for today, I will not call (if you have to say "just for this minute, I do not have to call" then do it)
2) Nothing has come true from these readings (nothing substantial)
3) You've spent HOW much money? (count it up if you have to. I didn't do that, I was too scared to know)
4) He's not coming back PERIOD (If he was coming back, he'd be here already) This one is a hard one because it hurts like hell at first. You're finally admitting it's over
5) I am worthy of more
6) Ask God (or whoever your higher power is) for strength to not call but to believe in him (I didn't mention God in my healing but he did help. I finally broke down and admitted I wasn't trusting him but wanted to so bad and needed help)
This is what helped me. I was highly addicted to readings. One month I spent $4000. In ONE MONTH. Thats why I won'd add up what I've spent. I would probably kill myself if I did :)
You both know you have a problem and you both want to stop. That's your first step. Bravo!!!
You make some great points. But don't be too hard on yourself. I really think being abandoned by someone we love and trust SHOULD hurt. We are the normal ones. The ones who are not capable of causin someone else so much pain, especially when it is a long term committed relationship. There is nothing wrong with being devastated when someone abandons you. Honestly, the abandoner is probably the one with more issues........ (being a psychopath?) lol it is more normal to have a strong emotional reaction to rejection and abandonment than it is to say be totally fine the next day in my opinion. It shows that people who are important to you are REALLY IMPORTANT to you and you don't believe in just throwing relationships that took years to build away. Honestly, I don't understand how people who are capable of just walking away from someone like they never meant anything could ever be happy... with that said, there has to be other people out there who aren't such stupid ass holes, who truly value the foundation, love, and connection that they build with people.
Sorry, random rant, but seriously I just don't understand people and how they can do these horrible things to the people that they "love."
This is my experience with the ex I spent 6 years with. It took me a long time and a lot of therapy and some good psychics to show me that it is not my fault. Maybe my fault for loving someone who I didn't think was capable of treating me the way he ended up doing. I do blame myself for that, if I could have seen it, I should have walked away long before I wasted my 20s on this person.
Sorry for the rant! It's nice to be here where so many people can at least understand what I am going through, even though I wish none of us did!
--- End quote ---
peppie:
two weeks clean...
it's easier not to call when you haven't called.
Beesa:
--- Quote from: peppie on January 04, 2018, 04:49:15 AM ---two weeks clean...
it's easier not to call when you haven't called.
--- End quote ---
Amen, Peppie. Congrats! You've got this. You know the truth, these strangers just know some details, but nothing that's a game changer. You don't need that, none of us do!!!!
peppie:
--- Quote from: KRFun on January 04, 2018, 09:41:35 PM ---
--- Quote from: Beesa on January 04, 2018, 04:59:30 AM ---
--- Quote from: peppie on January 04, 2018, 04:49:15 AM ---two weeks clean...
it's easier not to call when you haven't called.
--- End quote ---
Amen, Peppie. Congrats! You've got this. You know the truth, these strangers just know some details, but nothing that's a game changer. You don't need that, none of us do!!!!
--- End quote ---
yup! and I am a month clean now. I feel better :)
--- End quote ---
AWESOME KR!
I almost capitulated today but changed my mind. Man! It sneaks up on you those cravings!
whskers:
Happy to report I closed my keen account today. Yay! Feels so good 😍
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