Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Goodbye
Seeker:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on October 10, 2017, 06:26:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: Seeker on October 10, 2017, 04:06:15 PM ---The non-reciprocation I can understand, it's the accepting the connection invite, lurking, reading, and liking of posts in this type of circumstance that comes across as very bizarre to me. What makes it even more bizarre is that if when I checked her activity I noticed that in all the years she's been there she has never liked (or even commented) on anything besides my post, and at that site you can't erase your activity history there and the history goes all the way back to the day you sign up.
If that's the new normal I find that pretty scary. It would be like, if I saw you and turned you down (didn't reply to message) but kept hanging around you every day (lurking), listening to your conversations (reading), and even clapping when you say something I dig (hitting the like button), lol.
I could never do any of those things without feeling ultra weird.
If she has nothing to say ever I'm sure she'll disappear eventually.
--- End quote ---
Well I can tell you, just from my own experience, that I have lurked on other people's FB, social media etc, and had no interest in them. in my case, it's just boredom, honestly lol.
--- End quote ---
We all do that. I do it. You go on a site, you look around at what people are doing, that's totally normal. But the question is, did you do that with someone who opened up to you and you didn't reply but instead just accepted an invite to connect and kept hanging around lurking, reading, and liking that person's posts every day but not saying anything?
Just lurking is fine and totally normal to do, but it's doing it after the specific condition of being opened up to that changes the dynamic because that's going to make the other person puzzled as to what the point of it is. Then you throw in the fact of having no other activity and it gets even stranger.
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: Seeker on October 10, 2017, 06:38:32 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on October 10, 2017, 06:26:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: Seeker on October 10, 2017, 04:06:15 PM ---The non-reciprocation I can understand, it's the accepting the connection invite, lurking, reading, and liking of posts in this type of circumstance that comes across as very bizarre to me. What makes it even more bizarre is that if when I checked her activity I noticed that in all the years she's been there she has never liked (or even commented) on anything besides my post, and at that site you can't erase your activity history there and the history goes all the way back to the day you sign up.
If that's the new normal I find that pretty scary. It would be like, if I saw you and turned you down (didn't reply to message) but kept hanging around you every day (lurking), listening to your conversations (reading), and even clapping when you say something I dig (hitting the like button), lol.
I could never do any of those things without feeling ultra weird.
If she has nothing to say ever I'm sure she'll disappear eventually.
--- End quote ---
Well I can tell you, just from my own experience, that I have lurked on other people's FB, social media etc, and had no interest in them. in my case, it's just boredom, honestly lol.
--- End quote ---
We all do that. I do it. You go on a site, you look around at what people are doing, that's totally normal. But the question is, did you do that with someone who opened up to you and you didn't reply but instead just accepted an invite to connect and kept hanging around lurking, reading, and liking that person's posts every day but not saying anything?
Just lurking is fine and totally normal to do, but it's doing it after the specific condition of being opened up to that changes the dynamic because that's going to make the other person puzzled as to what the point of it is. Then you throw in the fact of having no other activity and it gets even stranger.
--- End quote ---
Yea, that's extremely bizarre, I agree.
njlady:
--- Quote from: HornetKick on October 04, 2017, 09:39:30 PM ---
--- Quote from: Seeker on October 04, 2017, 07:21:40 PM ---I'd be careful of a lot of advice from Steve Harvey, a lot of it is questionable and rooted in playing on the emotions of desperate or deeply discouraged women. One also has to question the deeply misandric slants he takes, and although I realize he is targeting a female audience misandry certainly won't help the female-male dynamic as it just breeds into women the nonsense idea that men are less than them and other vitriol.
That said, I agree with this one bit of his, however before I throw the relationship away I would ask the guy straight up what the deal is. What women don't often realize is because men and women view things in differing ways a man may not recognize that at a specific moment something is important to a woman and that you were expecting a different outcome than the one the man provided you. I'm sure lots of relationships have broken up for just that one reason alone. If the woman verbalizes it (i.e. "why haven't you introduced me to your family?") and he still doesn't do it, then at that point you know something is wrong.
--- End quote ---
I was going to say something to that effect about Steve Harvey, because he is on his what…fourth wife? And if you’ve heard what some of the previous wives have said, he didn’t dump them like a kind person would (the way he likes people to think that he is). He generally was onto his next wife before he told the current one. I don’t know him personally, but we all should consider the source.
--- End quote ---
I just saw this.
He's been married 3 times, so he has 2 ex's. He broke up with his first wife to pursue his dream of being a comedian, which clearly worked out pretty well. No other woman involved.
His second ex was was admonished by the Judge for providing false information to the court, such as claiming she was penniless, homeless and could not afford an attorney when in fact Steve was paying her $40,000.00 a month in support and had given her 3 homes. It got so bad and she got so crazy, at one point making a series of youtube videos after a gag order was issued that the judge eventually jailed her in contempt of court. Last year she sued him for "torture, kidnapping and murder (she claims he murdered her soul)" among other things. Consider that source. CAF.
Some people don't learn anything from past experiences. I listen to his radio show a lot and he's a very smart man and he gives good relationship advice. He thinks women should set the bar high. I agree.
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