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mystery123:
Hello All,

I am in a very tricky situation and any insight guidance would be super helpful! I have spent at least 5000 dollars on psychics since beginning of this year and now the situation is such that I don't think they can help and I need some normal common sense advice!

Background-
So, I have liked a guy for two years, we are co-workers and have dated him twice, and have been in a FWB situation twice, so in past two years we have connected 4 times outside work. It starts and then he just pulls away, we stay amicable and friends at work because I do have feelings for him and obviously don't want to make things awkward at work. Moreover, I get into this situation knowing he doesn't want anything serious, maybe somewhere hoping that we will start loving me too. I have never felt the way I have felt for this guy. I knew myself to be the most practical person on this planet and I have broken up before(in my late 20s) and have moved on like a breeze, but this time I went into depression over something which was not even a relationship to begin with, it was and is excruciatingly painful even after two years, though it's better now after I spent good last 18 months working on myself, letting go, acceptance and what not (meanwhile going on and off with him).

Situation now--

Last year November he pulled away again, basically just making excuses-- if I will ask him to hangout, either he will hangout for a super short time or not at all and he got super busy with work, so I figured maybe I should just let go and decided to not ask him again to hangout because by then I had been working on myself so I loved myself a little more and had better self esteem to not go and beg.
( side note- I think it has been a good lesson, he came into my life for a reason, which has helped me tremendously grow spiritually, personally and just trusting more in universe and God).

Anyway, in January I am not sure how but I got into calling psychics, but man o man, they should have a hotline for helping people addicted to psychics. I called every psychics listed on this forum and more. Keen, CP, Hollywood Psychics, LifeReader, Psychic Encounters, Psychic Source, Kasamba, AskNow, Oranum, Purple Ocean, Bitwine, Fiverr, MeetyourPsychic, Zodiac Psychics, StarzPsychic and other psychics who work on their own (Yona, etc.).. and call 100s of psychics on each of these forum. (Just writing the name of forums is eye opening for me)

I was spending all my time doing that, asking about his feelings, if there is any future for us, if not for us then what's for me and etc.

Judi, Zadalia, Fairie Moon, LOLight and 200+ many more said he is developing feelings for me and I should see something in May --nada!!

I guess that was also because I was spending too much energy on thinking about him and outcomes. But I guess there comes a point in life where you just get tired of being treated like crap. I got some readings in early May and then stopped because there was no point.

Readers who said I will see something in June-
Lotus of Light - very accurate in picking how I will be feeling, she said he likes me but I am not sure about his feelings.
Annie Heaven- Said I will see something on June 15th. Guy asks me if I want to hook up with him on June 15th. coincidence?
Jade8948, Keiry, Celtic Moon- mentioned June too
Psychic Stasha, KAra Jane, Wisdom (PE), Faery Hawk, Liza Sees, Treu Destiny, Yvonne,  and 100+ many more also said something that I will something in June, July August.

Kisha was strange for me, some of it resonated, but she said she didn't see any connection with him, but we do have a connection now, although the other part about having clarity seems to be going on for me.

Micah in April said he saw something in June and to trust the process as he can be a potential.

Tara from CP thought he is my soulmate and that I will see a change in Summer.

Yona- saw flirting but that's it and then a new guy coming in August. Said Damian would fizzle out.

Diane731- saw us connecting, see outside work but said will remain distant, emotionally unavailable.

CindyS - Said he and I will get closer again but no stability.

Ovalley, Fairie Moon, Sweethearts Tarot and soooooo many others they told me nothing would change and they see someone with him.
Actually when Sweethearts Tarot said she sees a third party who is a fire sign, I thought she is talking about me, lol.

All the readers even who have said I will see something from him in June, have clearly said that he is very slow, not  ready for commitment any time soon but that might change, not my only option as I will have other people coming up and if I choose him then it will be a slow thing because he has too much stress and fear  around him (I know that for a fact is true, he has worked 80 hours/wk in past 6 months).
They have also said that he has feelings but not as strong and they are developing and he wanted to focus on his life first so he pulled away (I know sounds like a stock answer but that's what they said).

Back to my original story and question.

So, this guy now just randomly asks me to hook up with him. I say yes because I like it and i guess somewhere I am hoping that something might happen, but at this point I am not so sure if he ever will change and I fear I am wasting my time and feelings. It's heart-breaking for me but I guess I still don't want to say no in that flickering hope.

I am not sure what they see when they say he will come forward more, or they see more communication, or a 'soulmate'.. If it's just asking to hook up more number of times, then I am thinking of just telling him that it's coming in my way of letting him go(he knows I like him), but if it can be something more than that then I am willing to wait. I don't see any feelings though. He is a great person and friend, we have connected at so many levels in past 2.5 years, but now I am just getting tired and  maybe he just likes to sleep with me, and I don't see or feel anything beyond that.

We do have a very good comfort as friends so I am just too confused if I should say something to him now? or wait? or just go with the flow, meaning do the FWB thing as long as I like it but I am afraid it won't let me move forward..

Please don't judge me:) and sorry this is so long but any insight would be appreciated.

Thanks!

HornetKick:
First, No one can judge you hon, we all have accounts on this forum for whatever reason.
Secondly, you can answer most of your questions on your own.

IS FWB all that you want? It doesn't seem like it is and it doesn't seem like it is going to be anything else because that's all you guys do. Does he take you out aside from sexing all night long? See? You already know you want and need more. Stay friends with him if you like, but if you want a deep committed relationship, it doesn't seem like he is the one, although it hurts to hear. Even if he comes around years from now, you shouldn't have to wait until he gets his act together.

You have to keep reminding yourself that when it fizzles out, that situation taught you what you don't want and what you do. You know how you feel and he'll keep dangling the carrot as long as you let him. At this point it seems like he has performed the same song/dance for a long time and nothing is changing. It also seems like he wants to be the one to say when you guys hook up, not you since whenever you ask, he is too busy or whatever excuse he finds. This clearly isn't a partnership and its so obvious that is what you want.

If you can, the next time he asks you to hook up, say you have something already planned even if you don't. But don't tell him anything. It will bug the hell out of him however long until he finds out and it will hurt him as well, if it's another guy.

Stop calling psychics and lead your life how you want it go (listen to you, even though it's difficult in the beginning, it will get easier). Write your own story to your happiness. Direct yourself as if in a movie, creating your own script because only you know what will make you happy.

Good Luck!

mystery123:
Thank you guys! What I needed to hear.. I think I will just be honest and talk to him that how I don't feel comfortable with this situation.

mystery123:
*Heartbreak* I talked to the guy, told him how I felt and how it's hard for me to continue in this FWB situation. He basically said he enjoys hanging out but doesn't have any feelings so doesn't want to lead me on. I am not sure what all these readers were picking up on..even the amazing ones like Judi, Zadalia, Yona, Diane731.. I just feel too heartbroken today, I knew this was true but it's like someone took away my only hope. I am not mad at him because he was clear from beginning but more mad at myself and God because I lead myself on for past so many years!! Now I know so maybe can work more hard towards letting go.

HornetKick:
Believe it or not sometimes readers pick up on what you desire, not what is actually happening. Even when they give accurate verbiage from the other party, it’s still something that you may want. Bizarre I know, but that doesn’t help with anything when you feel you’ve wasted so much time and held onto something that should have been thrown out ages ago.

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