Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
Abundant Visions/Gaylene
josh34:
--- Quote from: Catlover86 on July 05, 2019, 06:13:09 PM ---Sorry to come back to this thread but Gaylene said he would turn things around and come back to the family, he reached out again and asked when my next app was, and asked if we could go shopping for him. Nothing spectacular but I think he’s trying to come back around. For the baby at least. But idk. Still feeling a little :/
--- End quote ---
You're okay!
Just a little unsolicited advice, while I think it's AMAZING you're standing your ground and holding your independence, I would take him up on his offer "sometimes". If you're too distant he will likely pull away. Pulling forward and back is fine in this instance, I feel, but going too far in one direction can cause a negative outcome. Just my two cents. Hope that was okay to say. I just want you to get what you want, and yeah (:
ladya:
--- Quote from: josh34 on July 05, 2019, 06:39:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: Catlover86 on July 05, 2019, 06:13:09 PM ---Sorry to come back to this thread but Gaylene said he would turn things around and come back to the family, he reached out again and asked when my next app was, and asked if we could go shopping for him. Nothing spectacular but I think he’s trying to come back around. For the baby at least. But idk. Still feeling a little :/
--- End quote ---
You're okay!
Just a little unsolicited advice, while I think it's AMAZING you're standing your ground and holding your independence, I would take him up on his offer "sometimes". If you're too distant he will likely pull away. Pulling forward and back is fine in this instance, I feel, but going too far in one direction can cause a negative outcome. Just my two cents. Hope that was okay to say. I just want you to get what you want, and yeah (:
--- End quote ---
Agreed.
Catlover86:
--- Quote from: ladya on July 05, 2019, 06:53:18 PM ---
--- Quote from: josh34 on July 05, 2019, 06:39:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: Catlover86 on July 05, 2019, 06:13:09 PM ---Sorry to come back to this thread but Gaylene said he would turn things around and come back to the family, he reached out again and asked when my next app was, and asked if we could go shopping for him. Nothing spectacular but I think he’s trying to come back around. For the baby at least. But idk. Still feeling a little :/
--- End quote ---
You're okay!
Just a little unsolicited advice, while I think it's AMAZING you're standing your ground and holding your independence, I would take him up on his offer "sometimes". If you're too distant he will likely pull away. Pulling forward and back is fine in this instance, I feel, but going too far in one direction can cause a negative outcome. Just my two cents. Hope that was okay to say. I just want you to get what you want, and yeah (:
--- End quote ---
Agreed.
--- End quote ---
Thank you for the advice, but you have to understand I have been very accommodating to him and would make him a priority when it came to scheduling appointments and so on. He’s been hurtful towards me recently. And even though he’s making an effort I won’t show him I’m going to jump to everything he offers like it’s a grand thing. He was on vacation, could’ve made an effort then, and he can make visits on his days off. If I don’t see much effort, consistently at least then I don’t have to give into the little he puts in. That’s just my way of thinking now. Maybe I’m wrong but my heart is just kind of like eh.
ladya:
--- Quote from: Catlover86 on July 05, 2019, 08:01:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on July 05, 2019, 06:53:18 PM ---
--- Quote from: josh34 on July 05, 2019, 06:39:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: Catlover86 on July 05, 2019, 06:13:09 PM ---Sorry to come back to this thread but Gaylene said he would turn things around and come back to the family, he reached out again and asked when my next app was, and asked if we could go shopping for him. Nothing spectacular but I think he’s trying to come back around. For the baby at least. But idk. Still feeling a little :/
--- End quote ---
You're okay!
Just a little unsolicited advice, while I think it's AMAZING you're standing your ground and holding your independence, I would take him up on his offer "sometimes". If you're too distant he will likely pull away. Pulling forward and back is fine in this instance, I feel, but going too far in one direction can cause a negative outcome. Just my two cents. Hope that was okay to say. I just want you to get what you want, and yeah (:
--- End quote ---
Agreed.
--- End quote ---
Thank you for the advice, but you have to understand I have been very accommodating to him and would make him a priority when it came to scheduling appointments and so on. He’s been hurtful towards me recently. And even though he’s making an effort I won’t show him I’m going to jump to everything he offers like it’s a grand thing. He was on vacation, could’ve made an effort then, and he can make visits on his days off. If I don’t see much effort, consistently at least then I don’t have to give into the little he puts in. That’s just my way of thinking now. Maybe I’m wrong but my heart is just kind of like eh.
--- End quote ---
do whatever is right for you and what your intuition tells you. I agree def dont jump when he says so however just my opinion if you do want him in your life you will need to give in a bit too. Not saying now but when you feel is right and you feel hes made the appropriate amount of effort on his part. You know what I mean.
doubleoh8:
--- Quote from: ladya on July 05, 2019, 10:28:47 PM ---
--- Quote from: Catlover86 on July 05, 2019, 08:01:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on July 05, 2019, 06:53:18 PM ---
--- Quote from: josh34 on July 05, 2019, 06:39:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: Catlover86 on July 05, 2019, 06:13:09 PM ---Sorry to come back to this thread but Gaylene said he would turn things around and come back to the family, he reached out again and asked when my next app was, and asked if we could go shopping for him. Nothing spectacular but I think he’s trying to come back around. For the baby at least. But idk. Still feeling a little :/
--- End quote ---
You're okay!
Just a little unsolicited advice, while I think it's AMAZING you're standing your ground and holding your independence, I would take him up on his offer "sometimes". If you're too distant he will likely pull away. Pulling forward and back is fine in this instance, I feel, but going too far in one direction can cause a negative outcome. Just my two cents. Hope that was okay to say. I just want you to get what you want, and yeah (:
--- End quote ---
Agreed.
--- End quote ---
Thank you for the advice, but you have to understand I have been very accommodating to him and would make him a priority when it came to scheduling appointments and so on. He’s been hurtful towards me recently. And even though he’s making an effort I won’t show him I’m going to jump to everything he offers like it’s a grand thing. He was on vacation, could’ve made an effort then, and he can make visits on his days off. If I don’t see much effort, consistently at least then I don’t have to give into the little he puts in. That’s just my way of thinking now. Maybe I’m wrong but my heart is just kind of like eh.
--- End quote ---
do whatever is right for you and what your intuition tells you. I agree def dont jump when he says so however just my opinion if you do want him in your life you will need to give in a bit too. Not saying now but when you feel is right and you feel hes made the appropriate amount of effort on his part. You know what I mean.
--- End quote ---
Hi and some more unsolicited feedback... I have read your story and if I remember / understand it correctly he's the father of your baby and has said he doesn't want a relationship now but does want to be in the baby's life. I hope this doesn't come across as judgemental and I also hope you get exactly what you want, but I think the baby's interest needs to come first regardless. And it's in the child's interest to have a participating dad... so I just suggest that you not play any kind of games, no contact etc. but rather put your hopes to the side and build a relationship that serves to support the child, even if it means swallowing your pride at times.
I am not saying be any kind of doormat for the guy... you should of course set boundaries that you can live with between the two of you, but those shouldn't effect the child if at all possible and I wouldn't push him away altogether. After all, he should and hopefully will be in your life forever, regardless of the nature of your relationship, so it serves everyone if you have a positive connection, no? And then down the road if he comes around to realizing that he wants the whole package you'll have a solid foundation as friends.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version