Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
Do any of you think your POI may not come back?
moonlight412:
Oh God! At least 70-80 have told me that my POI will come back and I will have a choice with my POi now and there will be a new guy.. nothing has happened yet.. but you are so right, I think I should just focus on myself and not rely too much on waitiing for anyone to come in
Shayalay:
--- Quote from: ladya on March 05, 2017, 10:58:26 PM ---
--- Quote from: sunshineluv7 on March 05, 2017, 10:44:01 PM ---Oh yeah - my primary person even said he was protecting himself, every time he blanked out on me. So he definitely wasn't thinking about me first. But not everyone is 100% emotionally healthy 100% of the their life.
But it's all decisions we make as far as what we will accept. This guy I have known longer than most marriages last, so I know his character. While he may be screwy in this area of his life right now, for the most part the reason I hung in there is because I have years and years of him being an amazing person and friend to me. And when things are good, they are amazing. Nobody ever truly replaced him, though I did try for ... a long time, before we got romantic the second time. So now, I'm at a place in my life where my dating life is kind of quiet, and I had him working out his "stuff" in the background with some really great romantic rendezvous in the middle, intermittently. there's probably been 3-4 other men I've gone on a handful of dates with since our romantic side picked back up, but, nobody who i wanted to spend more time with. I've been focusing a lot on my career and really just killing it there.
Do I consider myself a doormat? Hell to the no. Did I get back with any guy who came back as I mentioned in that post? Nope. I'd hear them out, maybe go out for a date but usually my feelings were gone and one date is as far as I'd let it go.
Do I think there is a risk of people "making excuses"? Sure. Do I feel I am? I ask myself that sometimes, but at the end of the day I am okay with how I'm handling this - and that's all that matters to me - since at the end of the day it's my life. I still try/tried to keep my options open AND keep him open as an option, and I am fine with that decision. Even though I know it would have to be someone kind of amazing to really make me close the door on him.
So, if his "cave" now lasts ..a while again, I just go right back to what I was doing before.
People aren't perfect. They make mistakes. They do the best they can at the time. And sometimes that "best" is pretty $hitty. Heck, if you look at the way best friends and family members treat each other at times you'd wonder why anyone stays in each other's lives. The answer? Because if there really is love there, then you always forgive. Because that is what love does. It isn't based on what a person does or doesn't do, it's based on the fact that you love that person, and if they are sorry you forgive them -- and do what you can with boundaries to protect yourself as much as you deem necessary.
--- End quote ---
I have to agree with this. I feel like it's really hard to find someone that you genuinely click with and if you're going out dating other men while having one who has some things going on but you jive well with them everyone will say to go for the guys who are giving you the attention even if the connection isn't strong. I personally wouldn't. I think everyone's situation is different and things aren't as black and white as it may seem. i have been in situations where i swore i never put myself in but did end up in anyways. Just because someone is all about you and doing all the things a man should be doing doesn't automatically make him a better catch if you feel an ok connection with them. i think men are very complicated in that they run when they're scared no matter the age. They're not like females who express themselves more easily. If i find a deep connection with someone im more willing to deal with their shit even if i so called deserve a man who gives me all their attention and is ready. You just have to know the type of man youre dealing with and whether hes just playing you or he has things going on. You can call these excuses but if i have a man thats treating me like a queen and i'm not feeling a really strong connection with them i probably won't give them the time of day even though to everyone else he can be an amazing catch. Life isn't that simple and dating is definitely not that simple especially nowadays. Everyone's got issues - you just have to know what youre willing to put up with and don't be a doormat or compromise who you are and your needs/wants.
--- End quote ---
Agree x1000 with the above, and the older you get the more you realize how true are both statements.
My BFF is a therapist who says every day she sees men chickening out and being avoidant with women they love and want to be with. It's a bit too simplistic to say "If he this, then he this." They are very different creatures from us when it comes to love and relationships. For us it's a snap, a breeze, to say yes to, we'd crawl under barbed-wire over broken glass for intense love and a strong connection. For them, apparently (sigh), it can mean a lot of complicated and frightening emotions appear along with the good ones. My POI had no trouble with emotional intimacy, connection, and commitment when we were young; it was only after some traumatic life experiences, which include me emotionally checking out of the relationship first back in the day and him having developed "a wee too much fondness for the drink," ;) that his issues started. Heck, he was in love with me for months before we got together and I never knew it. It only happened because I got jealous over something and put out "feelers" to which he responded. He had never flirted nor given any sign *whatsoever* that he had a romantic interest in me. We ended up engaged.
I would also add, in strict keeping with the thread topic, that I was the one who moved on and left the relationship first, and I'm sure he thought I was never coming back. Years and years later, I reappeared and we took back up again. I so wish he had been getting readings when we were first separated! Lol. So yeah. Never say never.
sunshineluv7:
Damn Shayalay. We have the same story. "My POI had no trouble with emotional intimacy, connection, and commitment when we were young; it was only after some traumatic life experiences, which include me emotionally checking out of the relationship first back in the day and him having developed "a wee too much fondness for the drink," ;) that his issues started. Heck, he was in love with me for months before we got together and I never knew it. It only happened because I got jealous over something and put out "feelers" to which he responded. He had never flirted nor given any sign *whatsoever* that he had a romantic interest in me." (well, in my case he did some really nice things for me...but he was my "best friend" so... I took it as "just him")
stargazer:
There was a time when I felt my POI and I were over for sure and surprisingly, a lot of readers were correct when they said things weren't over.
verb18:
My intuition has been telling me that my POI will def come back around due to the circumstances of how we left things off. It was very open ended and we left off on amazing, amicable terms. We kinda just need space right now. All the psychics I've talked who I trust have been so spot on with her behavior, relative points of contact, and the patterns we would go through month by month. I honestly think that I don't even need to continue reading b/c I knew that this would happen without needing a psychic lol.
But I do think its all circumstantial... up above someone wrote "if 100 people tell you he/she is coming back, and only a handful say he/she wont, the handful is prob right" - I can see the logic behind this, however, for example if Lotus and Zadalia and LadyP say he/she is coming back and is one of the 100, and some random new listing on Keen says he/she isnt coming back, how do you say that the 100 are incorrect when very talented, accurate advisors are in that mix?
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