Don't call yourself messed up. Rejection hurts, period, especially when it was someone you trusted and cared for deeply, even more so if they do the back and forth because they aren't emotionally mature enough for a stable relationship.
If you don't have a good support circle or people who can give great advice, and you happen to stumble across readers, it's just like a drug. You shoot up and get to skip the pain of the current situation. Plain and simple. Until the timing runs out.
Really it points at a struggle with faith that you will have better around the corner, or he will return so either way you win... the only reason we stare in the rear view mirror is cause that's what we know, and we don't really see how someone new could be better at the time, because we are so attached.
Of course then we can get angry at the readers if they are wrong but we are the ones who chose to keep calling, and it's the guy we chose to hold onto. Be mad at the guy. Be mad at yourself for continuing to call but also be gentle cause you did the best you could at the time. Being mad at the readers really doesn't accomplish much, but if we get mad at the guy.. If he comes back we won't tolerate the same relationship ship he knew and if we get mad at ourselves we may just learn impulse control or other ways of staying strong when we feel so crushed, abandoned, left out and betrayed.
Find the silver lining. Grow. Change the behavior or coping mechanism. Changing is hard and relapsing is likely but eventually you break the pattern.
Thank you, yes I agree with just about everything you stated. I am more angry at myself as I am the one who picks up the phone, yep, I am. And I am angry at him for not being more honest with me.
However, don't take my post as being angry at the readers....this is a review board. I was posting, as one...being hurt, and two...the readers I read with were sooooo terribly wrong. I thinks that is fair to state. I am also just expressing my experiences. That fact that is plural makes me sick. I know I need to work on me. Period.
I was told a boat load of crap. And that is the truth. And I paid for it, emotionally and monetarily.
When they're wrong, they're wrong, nothing more, no excuses about whether ther're good at third parties or whatever....wrong is wrong. Again, it's about putting any stock in their "future" predictions.
I loved to hear how this guy truly loved me, and this and that was going to happen, how he would say this and that....he was so scared of commitment. His job, and on and on and on. But it was ME that he loved. I have said this plenty....if they really knew the future, they would not be on a pay by the minute site. As they say, which I seem to forget...."for entertainment purposes only".
Also, let me add that mostly I would call for the here and now. And the here and now has shown to be very wrong as well, as said person would not be dating someone else? Or marrying someone else? Or not hearing from in years and years? Each of these guys, according to my readings, loved me so and wanted to make things right. All the readings I have ever gotten....maybe 3 contact, one trip and one insight about someone (that I was able to confirm) and that is with 4 different situations. But there are some who can pick up on the here and now. But honestly, nothing more for me ever happened.
I am an original member, from before this board when it started on complaints board. So when people ask why they don't come back to report, well stupidly I have been here on and off for years. The members that I am still in contact with,( a few) well nothing that was told happened, they've moved on and don't feel the need to call anymore, or some still call a select few, however the addiction, constant calling, has stopped and they are just living their life. And not because what was predicted for them happened either.
Unrequited love sucks. Believe me I know. A few will get back together, but most will not. That is life. And I fully aware of that. How I started cAlling, I will never know, but I do know for me, it was/is and addiction. Nothing more. It made me feel good to hear good things.
At times, many times, this board was a wonderful deterrent to calling, just reading all the failed outcomes. It would keep me from calling. Then, heart newly broken, or the guy starting to act different, I would come here to keep me from calling, but would see how some contact happened for someone and here we goo......lol. Yeah, I need to work on me.
Wishing you and everyone here a happy and healthy new year.
