Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
Right on PREDICTION
tired of it all:
--- Quote from: Tthompsj on July 21, 2016, 12:28:10 AM ---You just want to shake them like, "WAKE UP!!!" unfortunately, most people (especially men) need to realize their hurtful actions on their own. Doesn't matter how many people throw it in their face, they will only change when they're ready.
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Exactly...and if they are anything like my ex, the more people try to tell them the more stubborn and resistant they get.
I would have to see my ex really humble himself a lot, soften his attitude and take some responsibility for his actions. I know deep down he probably feels bad about things but it can't just be deep down and it can't be something I have to play a guessing game about. It has to come up to the surface and be a real change. Otherwise - I can still love him from a distance but I'm not going to take any crap from him.
allibai3:
--- Quote from: Tthompsj on July 21, 2016, 12:28:10 AM ---COMPLETELY understand. That's why I'm hesitating on responding to my ex. He finally reached out after playing around on social media after a year of silence. I'm not sure if I want to put myself through the craziness again because I KNOW he hasn't changed. I really wish you hadn't reached out to your ex. It can be hard, I know. You just want to shake them like, "WAKE UP!!!" unfortunately, most people (especially men) need to realize their hurtful actions on their own. Doesn't matter how many people throw it in their face, they will only change when they're ready.
With my ex, I kept getting SUPER strong sensations to contact him, but I didn't. It killed me not hearing from him for a year, but now I look and see the things he's doing to catch my attention and make me notice him and I'm not biting. It's kind of like, "now look whose begging for attention? Funny how the table has flipped." Allibai: DO. NOT. CONTACT. HIM. ANYMORE. Especially after what has recently transpired. If he reaches out, that's one thing. Space is definitely best right now. I could move on from my ex and get married and be happy, but I will ALWAYS have a spot for him. Nobody will change that. Doesn't mean I can't be happy with someone else though :)
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Yeah no i wont contact him honestly my self esteem feels very bruised right now.I feel really worthless right now so I'm not going to reach out to the person who made me feel that way unless he apologizes and shows me he means it .
allibai3:
--- Quote from: maddie on July 21, 2016, 01:11:25 AM ---Yeah men are like children :) They are not willing to admit they are wrong..and the more you call out on them the more stubborn/defensive they get..let him come to you, let him WANT to do care for you and love you. Shouting at him "LOVe ME! CARE ABOUT ME!" isn't gonna work (not saying thats what you're doing, just a generalization)
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Lol maddie honestly I think I did sound like that.That sounds exactly like what I was trying to say/do.thats all I want love and care about me and Ill be happy.I dont care if hes broke or has one leg.
tired of it all:
--- Quote from: lanlingyu on July 21, 2016, 01:14:04 AM ---I see how you feel. But I don't agree with your ex pushing you to date others. As mature grown up adults, no one is pushed to DATE others... I am sorry I don't understand. I hope your situation will get resolved very soon.
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I think the same way. No one pushes you to do this it's just a choice. And it sends a message and not necessarily the message you might want to send.
I mean if I was thinking of getting back together with an ex and they were dating someone else...no freakin' way! I don't roll that way and it would be way too emotionally risky for me.
tired of it all:
--- Quote from: maddie on July 21, 2016, 01:35:47 AM ---Before we can get any sort of commitment from anyone, we should all be open to other options.
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No...people are different. I wouldn't date anyone casually or get involved with multiple guys at the same time because I'm just not built that way. Some people can do that but for me it would go against my nature.
Commitment goes both ways...if you are wanting the other person to commit but still dating other people it can send a very mixed message and put them off. There's this myth that if a woman makes a man jealous he will fight harder for her. That only works on men who want the excitement of a chase or a conquest...and when that excitement settles down he may just move on to another conquest.
A person who wants a commitment and wants to put their whole heart into a relationship is going to be more cautious. Seeing the person they care about casually dating other people is more likely to scare them away...not bring them closer.
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