Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
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sunandmoon:
Just wanted to share a quick story with you. I know we've discussed this before but I can't find the thread.
This is about how easy it is to find someone online, and how easy it is for us to accidentally give details of our lives. For 3.5 years I had a part time job in an office. I was only there once a week for a few hours, so I never spent much time talking to the people who worked in the back, except for a couple that would come up to talk to the boss. Not that we didn't interact at all, but I never took lunches with them or really had any chance to chat. I'd come in, work and leave for another job. I was also usually the second person there so unless I had a question I had no reason to go back and talk to anyone.
The other night I met up with one of them. I had given them my business card, which has my full name on it (not a common name) and city, along with my cell. In turn, I had their email, cell and their physical address, plus I knew their full name with middle initial from work.
I was there a little over an hour and we were just chatting about silly things. But when I got home, I was able to find this person on FB in less than 15 mins simply because they handed me two little pieces of info that I didn't have before - that a sibling lived in another state and where they grew up. I had already searched on siblings and parents out of curiosity and had come up blank - mom was using a maiden name and one sibling had their info locked down. But having this other state PLUS the hometown zeroed me in. They have a common last name, and my friends first name is very common with quite a few variants. I had only tried the full name and the nickname I had heard at work. When the sibling set up the account for them though, it was set up with a nickname that I had never heard used for them (but was probably a childhood nickname) and middle name only. As soon as I found the sibling, I had my friend in seconds, searching the siblings friend list by first name.
So then I wondered how easy it would be for them to find me. I've had a coworker do a similar thing to me because they went to school with my sister and my sister had her family connections open to the public at that time (I also don't use my full name on fb). So I reverse engineered my own name and because it's uncommon enough that not many come up, I was easily able to find 3 people with open friend lists where people could find me, as long as they weren't fixated on my first/last name only. Then I wondered what info I had given my friend in conversation, and remembered I had laughed about my SIL having the same name as me, and what my brother did for a living. My brother doesn't have his work posted on FB but if he did, again it would be an easy way to me.
My point is that I wasn't trying to grill my friend for this info, we were just talking about every day stuff and of course family/friends/work/living arrangements all came up. So imagine a psychic who has our phone number because we've called them, can reverse search our area code - not bullet proof these days with cell phones, asks a quick question about a family member, etc. They do this all day every day and I'm sure they are much better at it then we can ever be.
There's a lot of info out there on us, like it or not. I discovered one of my bosses is putting our full names in a blog she writes when she wants to thank us specifically, so now a pic of her and her husband show up when I search for images with my name - creepy! I also found I had written a review for a product through work and while I didn't sign it, I must've been logged in as now those product images show up with my full name and I need to get them to remove that!
And the really funny thing was that another girl that worked the days I didn't, used to stalk the other workers on fb, but had never found my account or the person I saw the other night, because she never went beyond the traditional first/last name combo.
Food for thought.......
Zee:
--- Quote ---My point is that I wasn't trying to grill my friend for this info, we were just talking about every day stuff and of course family/friends/work/living arrangements all came up. So imagine a psychic who has our phone number because we've called them, can reverse search our area code - not bullet proof these days with cell phones, asks a quick question about a family member, etc. They do this all day every day and I'm sure they are much better at it then we can ever be.
There's a lot of info out there on us, like it or not. I discovered one of my bosses is putting our full names in a blog she writes when she wants to thank us specifically, so now a pic of her and her husband show up when I search for images with my name - creepy! I also found I had written a review for a product through work and while I didn't sign it, I must've been logged in as now those product images show up with my full name and I need to get them to remove that!
And the really funny thing was that another girl that worked the days I didn't, used to stalk the other workers on fb, but had never found my account or the person I saw the other night, because she never went beyond the traditional first/last name combo.
Food for thought.......
--- End quote ---
Ok, some of this may be accurate but still no one can find me, no reader, no friends, no one. I don't use a nickname or my real name ever on the Internet. I have many different email addresses and signons. My cell phone isn't even in my name so a person would be hard pressed to even know what to look for. Also, most people who are in the baby boomer range are not computer literate. They just learned to turn the thing on. I can figure out how literate a person is, within two minutes or less of speaking to them about the computer. I'm a whiz with applications. I've taught myself how to download and find anything. There is almost nothing I don't have (it often times depends on how popular an item is).
A lot of people new to facebook or the computer age in general sort of believe many things they see on the internet and especially believe you have to use your real name. I have two alias on facebook (mostly for the games), because seriously they wouldn't ever know if that was the real you or not. Nor do I use a real photo.
I have even googled my real name and have had it removed from search sites and search engines. All this takes time and is very time consuming so please guys, don't start believing a reader can find you or get some information about you. It is possible, but highly unlikely unless you use the same exact logon and have given way too many details. I am extremely certain they don't know jack about me.
I'm just saying.
sunandmoon:
Zee, I'm saying for the average person the info is out there. You really can't find fb info about me, unless you also know my family. I don't use my real name nor do I have a pic. I do have other things that have shown up, but any email I used for the psychic sites have been made specifically for those sites and were never linked to me or anything else. Most people can't spell my last name anyway so they never get anywhere.
A lot of people don't realize what is out there about them, or how easy it is to find info.
For every person who has taken pains to hide their info, there are probably 5 who don't. Some people have jobs that require their names to be out there (realtors, lawyers, doctors). Even my job is starting to push us to be featured on our blog, which I've refused, and I won't let them take pix of me or do quick interviews with me either.
Yes, there are a ton of people who have led a quiet life and just aren't out there - even younger people. But that doesn't hold true for everyone.
Truth:
sunandmoon, i have had similar concerns with getting readings from psychics on their own site. to schedule a reading you have to give them a lot of info about you - email, name, sometimes more. how easy is it to pull up at least your Facebook account if not a lot more about your life. some sites you can buy a membership and pay like 30 bucks or so and get all sorts of info on people with just their first and last name - recent addresses, jobs, credit score, etc.
did someone share this video here? i can't remember where i first saw it but its intriguing.
http://youtu.be/F7pYHN9iC9I
sunandmoon:
--- Quote from: Truth on May 06, 2014, 03:34:52 AM ---sunandmoon, i have had similar concerns with getting readings from psychics on their own site. to schedule a reading you have to give them a lot of info about you - email, name, sometimes more. how easy is it to pull up at least your Facebook account if not a lot more about your life. some sites you can buy a membership and pay like 30 bucks or so and get all sorts of info on people with just their first and last name - recent addresses, jobs, credit score, etc.
did someone share this video here? i can't remember where i first saw it but its intriguing.
http://youtu.be/F7pYHN9iC9I
--- End quote ---
Truth, I saw that video here awhile back. It is intriguing.
All I'm saying is how easy it was to let a few details slip without meaning to. Neither of us were fishing for information and we've known each other for a few years now, so we don't mean harm.
I mean, you're talking to someone, and they say - hey I went hiking on this mountain range last year, what a fun time! And you say, that's great, I've never been there, but I've been here and loved that. Bam, you just gave out some info about yourself.
I'm guarded by nature. I rarely use my last name in conversation and I've taken to signing up for things just using my last initial. Because I lived alone for so long, I don't tell people much about where I live. But unless you live like a hermit, or never engage with people at all, some things are just going to come out about you. And for those that do live guarded lives, you are certainly in the minority. Like I said, one of the girls I worked with stalked every one of the employees there via fb when she was bored. She just couldn't find me or the other person because we didn't use our "normal" names, I have a fake email and she didn't have theirs.
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