Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
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Bark angel:
I can empathize with all that is shared in this post, but I also think it is important to mention one more thing. We tend to overlook some really crucial matters at times when calling psychics. That's why I am not all that inclined, personally, to accept that all the information is available to us when we read about reports of both failed and accurate predictions. We simply don't have enough information to be able to determine the quality of the reader, or the reading or the suitability of the personalities involved in the broken relationships. I can admit I have done the very same myself, leaving a reading thinking it was really good reading only to replay it some weeks later to pick up a word or turn of phrase here and there that did not seem quite as I recalled when I first heard it. It's natural, it happens and it can certainly skew what a person could begin to expect occurring in the near future.
Additionally, I don't discount the fact that there could very well be psychics that are either not at all talented or not all that talented and therefore do not see enough in their readings to be able to get the final outcome correctly, or even crucial elements of the "now" for that matter. So callers can easily be mislead if they do not perform their searches carefully, reviewing the psychics they call in terms of accuracy and reputation. And even then there isn't an entity that one can look towards to determine good and bad psychics as there might be in other professional associations, so that research has to be done by the caller without a lot to work with.
Secondly, while it is reported on forums like this that most psychics suggest that former exes will return, we all know that not all exes do return to a former love interest. I can't suggest what the percentage of them do, but I am sure that the chances of this happening depends highly upon the quality of the relationship and the personality of the individuals involved. Some relationships are toxic, and should not continue, regardless of the desires or one or more of the parties involved. Not saying that anyone participating in this thread has had such a relationship, but we all know that people learn later that they were not well suited to each other, and needed either the space, the time or some other relationship to develop in order to become truly aware of that fact. Let's face it some exes should NOT return since the base relationship was not a good union of souls and why would the Universe be inclined to bring two people back together that clearly do not belong together?
And it is for this VERY reason that it is so crucial that the information delivered in a psychic reading should neither trump nor outweigh the information that the caller gets from his or her own intuition.
--- Quote from: sunandmoon on March 15, 2014, 05:19:10 PM ---Well said Bella! I think there is a certain type of person that does this to us (my exbf most likely has a PD). He came to me at a time in my life when I was feeling low and unwanted. He couldn't believe I was being treated the way I was, and took great pains to show me how it could be - with him of course. All those things I wanted, I had wanted because we had talked about them. I so know what you mean. My exbf also stopped talking to me pretty unexpectedly, and it really threw me for a loop. Hard to go from him being attached to my hip to not even talking to me with no warning.
I'm all my relationships, I've never ever had a problem moving on. I'd certainly been dumped before, or had a crush on someone who didn't like me as much, but this one relationship ending really killed me. I wish I knew why.
Maybe part of it was embarrassment. I was embarrassed over what I had done to be with him, and that I had obviously misjudged his character horribly.
I talked to friends, a few of them. I also talked to a male friend I had known online for quite a few years. He was kind enough to chat with me on the phone. He had gone through a divorce around the same time as I had. He asked the story, and I told him, and he bluntly said it was likely that my exbf was pulling away months before, but I hadn't really noticed it. Probably because the times he left me be I was so thrilled to have some alone time, and when he was around he was looking over my shoulder as usual, so it never really looked like he was gone.
But those psychics, THEY all said he'd be back. Well 99% of them did. And since I was paying them for their "knowledge", I figured they would know best, right?
HARD lesson learned there! I should've listened to all my friends who said he was an ass, he didn't deserve me, let him go, and the oh so popular - if he wants to be with you, he will. THOSE friends were all right.
I met another guy, and you know what? He's not attached to my hip 24/7, he doesn't text bomb and call me when I've been busy at work, but not a day goes by that he doesn't wrap me in his arms and tell me he loves me. Maybe I had to go through all that pain to really appreciate what I have now, I don't know. But I'm glad we found each other and took a chance.
If I had a chance to do over the last 7 years, I'd kick my exbf in the nuts and tell him to take a hike! No do-overs with this one, just way too painful!
--- End quote ---
Bark angel:
I suppose one could look at it that way, yes, but what it really means to me is that if a reading produces information that feels or appears to the caller as "too good to be true", chances are it is!! We can't suggest anything as readers of this forum. We don't know enough to make a comment or judgment. Just as it would be improper for me to suggest that any relationship with a former love will not happen. I simply don't know.
The callers are really the only ones (other than truly skilled psychics, and there may be fewer of those than it appears) that can determine whether there is any merit in this relationship resuming. If there's no merit, it doesn't matter what a reader tells you - it's likely either not to happen or not to last - so why delude yourself into thinking it might?
allbitenobark:
Bella, your entire post really resonated with me but the core of it, below, letting go of the hope and letting the real pain set in, hence allowing the real healing to set in has made a positive impression. Thank you for sharing this. You are a wonderful and kind soul. Even tho my part of your journey is as big as a grain of sand, lol, I am still happy to be a part of it. We are all healing in our own way but we are all learning so much, too. I am so grateful for everyone on the forum and am here for any of you if and when you need me. Much love, all!!
--- Quote from: Bella on March 15, 2014, 04:48:24 AM ---I loved what Calypso said, that coming to terms with oneself, time wasted holding on to false hope.
It's difficult to let go of a relationship, very much so, but so is letting go of the hope. It is detrimental to moving on, difficult as it is. Letting go of the hope. It is the true ending of things. And I think, for me, that was what was so hard. Letting go of everything I wanted. Yes letting go of him, but letting go of the hope he would see how stupid he was to let me go. Letting go of MY dreams of what our relationship could be. What I thought my coming years would be. Letting go of all of that. That is what is so hard. I spent the last year thinking about all the things we said we'd do. Like it was gonna happen....lol. The time I should have spent healing, I spent thinking he'd call and we'd go here, and wouldn't he love this?, Wouldn't he like that? We would have so much fun doing....Maybe I should look into this place to go? Jeez, talk about time wasted. Starting over sucks. Especially when you didn't want to in the first place. Especially when you love someone else.
When you let go of the hope, is when the real pain sets in.
--- End quote ---
allbitenobark:
--- Quote from: sunandmoon on March 15, 2014, 05:19:10 PM ---I'm all my relationships, I've never ever had a problem moving on. I'd certainly been dumped before, or had a crush on someone who didn't like me as much, but this one relationship ending really killed me. I wish I knew why.
Maybe part of it was embarrassment. I was embarrassed over what I had done to be with him, and that I had obviously misjudged his character horribly.
--- End quote ---
Sun, it still amazes me how many of our personal situations mirror one another here. I feel EXACTLY the same way about this particular break up. I usually move on in a healthy amount of time (3-6 months) post a break up. Sometimes sooner. But this one has left such an imprint on my heart, my soul, my ego, whatever. Sometimes it feels so.....unnatural to still harbor feelings for someone that has clearly moved on and completely let go of me, and to have done so swiftly and without reservation. I am sure your friend was correct that the ex was pulling away months prior to the split. I know my ex was and I tried everything I could to bring him back in but he was determined to not work it out.
Anyway, I also want to thank you for sharing your words with us as well. Maybe I'm reading all of this with a "new set of eyes" at just the right time, but I am ready to move on to the next chapter of my life and let him be. ;D
sunandmoon:
--- Quote from: decibel.diva on March 16, 2014, 03:35:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: sunandmoon on March 15, 2014, 05:19:10 PM ---I'm all my relationships, I've never ever had a problem moving on. I'd certainly been dumped before, or had a crush on someone who didn't like me as much, but this one relationship ending really killed me. I wish I knew why.
Maybe part of it was embarrassment. I was embarrassed over what I had done to be with him, and that I had obviously misjudged his character horribly.
--- End quote ---
Sun, it still amazes me how many of our personal situations mirror one another here. I feel EXACTLY the same way about this particular break up. I usually move on in a healthy amount of time (3-6 months) post a break up. Sometimes sooner. But this one has left such an imprint on my heart, my soul, my ego, whatever. Sometimes it feels so.....unnatural to still harbor feelings for someone that has clearly moved on and completely let go of me, and to have done so swiftly and without reservation. I am sure your friend was correct that the ex was pulling away months prior to the split. I know my ex was and I tried everything I could to bring him back in but he was determined to not work it out.
Anyway, I also want to thank you for sharing your words with us as well. Maybe I'm reading all of this with a "new set of eyes" at just the right time, but I am ready to move on to the next chapter of my life and let him be. ;D
--- End quote ---
I know, it's so odd. I certainly know people who always seem to have a hard time with breakups, but I was never really one of them after the initial bit of hurt. But with this one, it was a full 18 months before I was able to let go and way too much money on psychics, get back together books, forums and all that stuff. Yes, in some instances he gave me hope (and honestly I read into it), then the psychics gave me hope.
I probably wouldn't have held on for so long without the psychics, but OTOH I didn't start calling them till 3-4 months out - when I normally would've been well into my healing stage. Something certainly happened to me internally with this one and it sure wasn't healthy. And I am a woman who claims she doesn't need a man to be happy, so why did this one set me back so far?
I'm so glad you're getting a new set of eyes. I remember when that happened to me, and it was a liberating feeling! 8)
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