Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
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sagitira:
i also saw feedback by that flowers person on keen and thought exactly the same. she kept asking about the job if i remember correctly for months! kept being told job offer in 2 or 4 weeks etc for months. i hope she got the job but this only shows how some people are literally blinded by what psychics say and even though predictions don't happen they still keep calling the same person ...why?
also i want to point out one thing - my predictions so far have not manifested however i never gave negative feedback to a reader. i gave positive feedback as i believed that what they were saying would happen because they picked up on past and present. but when months pass by and prediction didn't happen i was unable to leave a feedback as i believe there is only a certain time that you can leave feedback for the reading. once that time passes you can no longer leave a feedback. and i was certainly not calling the psychic back only to leave negative feedback i would not waste my money. i believe that some psychics purposely give longer time frame to avoid negative feedbacks.
i also want to stress out that when people are really in a bad place (depressed and very attached to the guy) they need to be careful not to put their lives on hold and have false hopes.it is extremely dangerous i know this as my best friend 2 years ago was also addicted to readings. she was soo in love and the guy was with someone else. she kept having reading after a reading waiting for reconciliation as psychics predicted - mind you almost every psychic told her they would be together and he would leave the girl - bla bla we all know those fairy tales..well timeframes came and gone, kept being pushed further and further away. over a year later she tried to kill herself, took sleeping pills as she could no longer bear the fact that the guy will not be back and that she was being fed a fairy tale. she believed it so much that when she realised that it was false hope she was unable to cope. it was extremely hard to look at it and it took her over a year to recover and start living again. it is no joke for some people readings can be very damaging.
i'm not saying do not get readings but if you do be wise and realistic about it -really they all say for entertainment purposes only and this is how we should take it. if people feel they need reading every day or several times a week then they are dealing with addiction and that can cause some real harm and damage. so i guess the message is be careful not to rely on what psychics say, you can wait for reconciliation but live your life as well do not put it on hold waiting for time frames.
i still check out the forum and see if anyone's predictions manifest. still looking for that one reader who would be accurate in terms of future, not just present and past but haven't found one yet. many many readers pick up present or past but noone was correct with future predictions. i have so many friends who consulted psychics not one of them said that their predictions manifested. i read almost all posts on this forum and other forums and people are coming with same conclusions - predictions never happened.
i haven't had a reading for a while and i cannot stress how good i feel now. my guy never came back and what actually happened nobody - NOBODY predicted this. not a single reader out of hundreds that i consulted. i also do not believe the connection thing anymore - people say not everyone connects with same psychics but if that psychic is able to pick up on my past and present that means connection was established yet still future predictions fail to manifest. there must be definitely different reason behind why predictions don't manifest (other then forget about prediction and it will then manifest - this also did not happen with me as i've recently re listened to all my readings and some predictions i totally dismissed or forgot about also failed to manifest). the only one who knows the future for me is God (if you are non believer i do not wanna offend or cause arguments this is just my personal experience and opinion).
good luck everyone. keep the feedback going - positive and negative too - as long as it's true honest feedback it is important that people know what to expect and can learn from our experience. it helped me a lot when i realised predictions were not happening i'm sure there will be other people who will find it helpful.
good luck everyone :)
by the way my friend never reconciled with the guy. he met someone else and now lives with her. and sad things is she also works with that person in one building which is why her healing took so long.
Calypso 13:
What a great post!!
I will add also that it's actually quite difficult to make the decision to be realistic about readings, taking into consideration others' predictions didn't unfold, and coming to terms with oneself - the time wasted on holding on to false hope.
Because this was an addiction for many of us, myself included, it was painful to let go and deal with the truth...so not only are you hurting over a breakup and waiting for the guy, but also now hurting over the reality of decisions made to call, spending beyond your means and prolonging healing.
Ugh...I remember how it sucked!!
sagitira:
@calypso
it's actually quite difficult to make the decision to be realistic about readings, taking into consideration others' predictions didn't unfold, and coming to terms with oneself - the time wasted on holding on to false hope.
i agree - it's extremely difficult at least it was for me and still is to accept the reality for what it is. it's the hardest thing i've ever had to do, to understand and let go. everyone probably comes to this conclusion in their own time. a year ago i would not listen to any of my friends telling me that predictions didn't happen. i refused to see the reality. it requires a lot considering i was addicted to readings and false hope that came with it. i'm grateful now that i can finally see the truth even thought it's still hard to cope but i know i lived before i met my ex i will live after he's no longer in my life.
i just realised that some people are meant to come to our lives but not stay in our lives and there is a reason for it. i have learnt so much from my experience. it wasn't all positive but it was certainly very valuable and i know i will do things better next time i am in a relationship.
Bella:
I loved what Calypso said, that coming to terms with oneself, time wasted holding on to false hope.
It's difficult to let go of a relationship, very much so, but so is letting go of the hope. It is detrimental to moving on, difficult as it is. Letting go of the hope. It is the true ending of things. And I think, for me, that was what was so hard. Letting go of everything I wanted. Yes letting go of him, but letting go of the hope he would see how stupid he was to let me go. Letting go of MY dreams of what our relationship could be. What I thought my coming years would be. Letting go of all of that. That is what is so hard. I spent the last year thinking about all the things we said we'd do. Like it was gonna happen....lol. The time I should have spent healing, I spent thinking he'd call and we'd go here, and wouldn't he love this?, Wouldn't he like that? We would have so much fun doing....Maybe I should look into this place to go? Jeez, talk about time wasted. Starting over sucks. Especially when you didn't want to in the first place. Especially when you love someone else.
When you let go of the hope, is when the real pain sets in.
And while I was calling, all I could think about was how nice things would be again, to follow through on all the plans we had made. The house, the vacations, blah blah blah....Letting go of him is hard and letting go of all I thought would be is hard too. Letting go of the HOPE. I let myself get caught up in the notion that he missed me, and loved me so. Let myself stay in a non reality.
I feel ashamed. I feel stupid. I feel crushed. Oh, I know I'll be fine. I am really still reeling over it all. Functioning, yes, very well I might add. However, the letting go of the hope kind of lets a reality in that is quite sad. Very sad indeed. It will never be what I thought, or wanted. It will never be what they said it would be. I know I have said this before, and maybe I didn't hear it myself, but people get dumped every single day. And they don't get back together. Ever. And somtimes, you just gotta suck it up, and move on. If he wanted me in his life then I figure he would tell me or show me. And he would be with me. And he doesn't. No need to call a psychic to keep me holding on to something that is no longer there. To keep me hanging on to a hope that is futile.
I question myself, My self esteem. Yes I was with him for 3 years. To call and pay soo much money to hear all these wonderful things....I needed that to help me sleep. Why? Why couldn't I just realize it was over? That he didn't want to be with me anymore? Why couldn't I handle that? To him, it ran it's course. He was done and wanted to start a new chapter. The thing is is we were on different pages. Nothing more. It happens all the time. It was my time to be on the loosing end is all. Nothing more, Not his issues, not money, not depression, nothing...He was just done. Granted, he was a coward and couldnt' tell me, but I think 17 months of nothing says it all. I guess I am a tad slow. lol.
I think if we were to talk to a non biased friend they would be able to see and tell you the truth. They won't fill you with false hope and keep you hanging on. They will help you see and help you heal and help you move on with your life. Which in most cases won't take nearly as long as when you're calling a psychic. But there was something missing in myself, that I had to call a stranger on the phone to hear that he loved me, and how sorry he felt, and how much he wanted me in his life. Yeah, there was something missing in me.
sunandmoon:
Well said Bella! I think there is a certain type of person that does this to us (my exbf most likely has a PD). He came to me at a time in my life when I was feeling low and unwanted. He couldn't believe I was being treated the way I was, and took great pains to show me how it could be - with him of course. All those things I wanted, I had wanted because we had talked about them. I so know what you mean. My exbf also stopped talking to me pretty unexpectedly, and it really threw me for a loop. Hard to go from him being attached to my hip to not even talking to me with no warning.
In all my relationships, I've never ever had a problem moving on. I'd certainly been dumped before, or had a crush on someone who didn't like me as much, but this one relationship ending really killed me. I wish I knew why.
Maybe part of it was embarrassment. I was embarrassed over what I had done to be with him, and that I had obviously misjudged his character horribly.
I talked to friends, a few of them. I also talked to a male friend I had known online for quite a few years. He was kind enough to chat with me on the phone. He had gone through a divorce around the same time as I had. He asked the story, and I told him, and he bluntly said it was likely that my exbf was pulling away months before, but I hadn't really noticed it. Probably because the times he left me be I was so thrilled to have some alone time, and when he was around he was looking over my shoulder as usual, so it never really looked like he was gone.
But those psychics, THEY all said he'd be back. Well 99% of them did. And since I was paying them for their "knowledge", I figured they would know best, right?
HARD lesson learned there! I should've listened to all my friends who said he was an ass, he didn't deserve me, let him go, and the oh so popular - if he wants to be with you, he will. THOSE friends were all right.
I met another guy, and you know what? He's not attached to my hip 24/7, he doesn't text bomb and call me when I've been busy at work, but not a day goes by that he doesn't wrap me in his arms and tell me he loves me. Maybe I had to go through all that pain to really appreciate what I have now, I don't know. But I'm glad we found each other and took a chance.
If I had a chance to do over the last 7 years, I'd kick my exbf in the nuts and tell him to take a hike! No do-overs with this one, just way too painful!
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